Does paying for everything excuse you from chores?

ComfortableJeans · 2024-03-10T01:11:34+00:00

Yeah.

I was a stay at home partner for years while she bankrolled everything. Why the fuck should she work AND come home and do extra work too?

I did all the cooking, cleaning, washing up, the laundry, and I know how to do basic DIY, plumbing, and some electrical work. If I'm the house guy, the house is my domain.

The only thing I asked was that she didn't make it harder. Put your dishes in the kitchen, leave the laundry in the basket, that kind of thing.

But, yeah, she shouldn't have to do all the work and half the chores.

Now, we didn't have kids, so I imagine the house partner needs a bit of help if kids are involved. I imagine there literally isn't the time spare to get everything done otherwise.

ComfortableOk5003 · 2024-03-10T01:07:02+00:00

I’d say if one is a stay at home spouse and the other the breadwinner, the stay at home spouse’s main job IS chores and housework…does that mean it’s ONLY theirs, no. I’d say at least 70% though

MikeArrow · 2024-03-10T00:18:18+00:00

Having children comes with certain obligations. There's no breaks when kids are in the picture, for either parent. Whether you're at work all day or not, you just have to suck it up and get done what needs to get done.

Sir_Spectacular · 2024-03-10T00:22:17+00:00

My take on it is this: Working and providing for the family IS a household chore.

What is a chore if not work done to maintain the comfort and integrity of a home? Going out, and getting money to pay the mortgage definitely counts.

This doesn't excuse a working person who refuses to do all chores because they make the money, but if you want to be fair, it needs to be factored into the overall distribution of chores.

---

For example, Alice is a SAHM, and Bob works. Bob does eight hours of labor a day, five days a week, how much time is Alice spending on chores at home? (including early childcare, because, yes, that's a chore too.) Is it greater than 40 hours per week? If so, Bob should pick up some extra chores to support Alice.

I think the easiest way to determine this is compare free time. How many hours does Alice spend on her own fun? How many hours does Bob get? Bob should pick up chores until Alice gets the same length of time to relax that Bob does.

There are other factors too, like how physically strenuous or mentally stressful Bob's work is compared to Alice's chores, but that gets complicated and subjective, and is probably something unique to every couple and situation.

Sessile-B-DeMille · 2024-03-10T00:16:09+00:00

Hell no. My wife was a SAHM for a number of years. She needed time to herself, and a break from cooking. This isn't a business partnership, it's a romantic relationship. You want a dead bedroom post haste, followed by a divorce/breakup? Then sit around the house while your partner is cleaning and cooking all the time.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-03-10T01:38:55+00:00

The assumption is always that Person B is a SAHM. So here’s a question to your question:

I’m the breadwinner and my husband is a full time student. Should he be doing all the household chores because his contributions are less tangible and do not include income - right now?

(If so I agreed to a shit deal)

Trikger · 2024-03-10T02:39:11+00:00

Childrearing should not be underestimated. There is a reason families often can't afford daycare.

There are a few amazing things about being a breadwinner:

When you work a 9-5, you work from 9 to 5. Maybe there's some overtime here and there, but you can also take an hour-long break on the shitter and nobody will bat an eye. When you're the one that takes care of the children, you'll work around the clock. No vacations, no downtime, no breaks. You go to bed after your kids go to bed and wake up before them. There is no place to come home to after work- home is where you work.

On top of that: It is unpaid labor. You work your ass off at home so that your partner has the opportunity to make a career for themselves. You don't earn a dime, you'll never get a raise, there's nothing on your resume and it doesn't build your retirement fund. Yet you're a cook, a cleaner, a nanny, a secretary, a shopper...

I see this in itself as a huge imbalance of workload.

When my mom got sick with a migraine, my father would get mad at her because she wasn't cooking for him. She used to get an allowance to pay for our food. My grandmother (mom's mother) is dying, and my dad still doesn't lift a finger to help. The men in my house don't know how to do their own laundry... I will die before I end up like that.

Let's see it like this:

Does paying for everything excuse you from chores?

And let me check some advertisements...

"40 hours per week, split between the days the baby does not go to daycare. Occasionally on weekends, but also during the week. Your nanny duties will include: Taking care of the baby. Support mother as needed. Perform light housekeeping tasks. Shopping for the family. Occasional cooking. Doing laundry."

That already sounds like wayyyy less labor than your average Person B, doesn't it?

"the family provides coverage of food, drink (board), lodging and all other allowances necessary to do the job."

The payout?

"a monthly salary between €1500.00 and €2200.00 per month"

1640$ - 2400$ a month for seemingly a fraction of the labor.

Another live-in nanny advertisement says: "Up to 3500 euro net per month", which is 3830 dollars. PER MONTH.

We have to wake up and realize that "Person B"s are not below us. They are offering their labor at an insane discount. Live-in nannies don't do all the work; they help out. Person B isn't helping out; they're doing it all.

So, does paying for everything exclude you from chores?

How much do you pay Person B? Unless it's 4k+ a month, you better start pulling your weight and learn to be grateful with what they're doing for you. You're not doing them the favor you think you are.

CrunchyMama42 · 2024-03-10T01:43:49+00:00

The biggest determining factor is children. If you have no (young) children, it makes total sense for a stay at home partner to do the work of the home. Of course! Maybe not 100%, depending on all that needs to be done, but at least the vast majority. But if you have kids too young to go to school, watching and raising THEM is the stay at home parent’s job. Cleaning etc should be divided in good faith based on the available time and resources of each partner. If you have one parent who works 9-5, and then comes home and expects to be “off”, while the other parent raises kids all day as well as taking care of everything at home, both during and after work hours, that’s not a good setup. You can’t expect one parents to be “on” 24/7, even if they don’t make the money.

unicornbirth · 2024-03-10T03:37:05+00:00

Im a stay at home mom, I do as much cleaning as I can during the day and I homeschool my two children, I also cook every meal, when my husband gets off work we eat dinner together and he helps me clean up and put the kids to bed, not because I make him but he actively wants to help me out at home, just like how I pack his lunches and clean his scrubs, he helps me out whenever he gets a chance, the past two days are a perfect example, I’m sick with bronchitis and he called out of work to help me, after dinner tonight he apologized for not getting to the kids schoolwork today, he said he didn’t know how I got it all done in one day, and I straight up told him I don’t, he helps me out a lot more than he thinks, and me being sick I wasn’t much help. We have a really strong relationship, it’s had its up and downs but it’s 12 years so far, but we treat each other like a team, and we also put our kids first when it comes to almost anything.

Zabadoodude · 2024-03-10T02:01:42+00:00

If the kids are small then no. If the kids are school aged, there's no way household chores should take up so much of your time that it exceeds a full time job & commute. Also both parents need to spend time with their kids. So the stay at home parent can still have some evenings to themselves when their partner is with the kids.

MistyMaisel · 2024-03-10T02:38:14+00:00

I suppose it depends. Broadly, no. Having a job and being the breadwinner doesn't merit you getting to force your partner to be a 24/7 cook, house keeper, babysitter, incubator, governess, and personal assistant.

I would say at best it merits you getting someone to do those things 8-10 hours 5 days a week with about the same level of passion, fucking off, bullshitting, and commitment that most people do their jobs. (Hopefully more for the childcare). This instantly places in question weekends and the other 14-16 hours a day.

P.s. I tend to agree with MikeArrow that having children is a commitment for both parents to get done what needs doing without the petty bullshit of whose turn it is or the concept of turns.

neemptabhag · 2024-03-10T00:33:15+00:00

Ridiculous. My mom and dad were a conservative religious couple. My dad was the sole income. But he did household chores, my mom was responsible for childcare.

It was a very good marriage. I like the dynamic. The mom doing childcare and the dad doing the house work seems like a good strategy imo.

ohdiddly · 2024-03-10T09:43:38+00:00

Not entirely. You should still obviously clean up after yourself and help out when it’s needed. But it makes sense for the other person to be doing most of the chores.

Sillysheila · 2024-03-10T04:48:10+00:00

If the couple agrees that one person should do 80/90% of the chores then I think that’s ok. Realistically it would never mean you don’t do 100% of the chores. That sort of set up is incredibly rare. Even if you don’t cook or clean you would wash a dish once in a while or take out the trash.

Where I think it becomes more complicated is childcare. I believe that it is immoral to make a kid that is programmed to love you, then do 0% of the childcare and never interact with them. Not cooking? If other person is happy to do all the cooking and loves it, who cares? No one is hurt. But if your career is so all consuming that you can do absolutely zero childcare, I honestly think if you can’t give it up or you’re not willing to do that and care for a kid, you should not have children. Leave that in the 1950s please. Or change careers before you have kids, or change job to allow yourself to have more time for them.

scwizard · 2024-03-10T05:47:23+00:00

No one is ever fully excused from doing household chores. Especially considering sometimes people get sick and similar.

However a lot of modern women have this notion that it's never ok for the husband to visit a friend's house after work because he has housework he needs to do after work. That fun is never ever ever allowed because he could be contributing during that time.

Being a parent is hard work, but like with any hard work it's important to take breaks. Back in the days kids would sleep over at each other's houses, and it was a time mom and dad got to relax a bit. Maybe go on a date together.

These days people are too afraid to let their kids do something like that. Which I think is totally insane.

snowyjenna · 2024-03-10T08:09:55+00:00

I'm a homemaker, and my fiance is the breadwinner. I'm definitely not expecting he does the housework when he gets home from work. If I'm sick or something, of course, he'll take over. Or if we had some unexpected events that prevented me from getting everything done, he'll help. But on a day to day basis, I can't imagine what I'd even do all day if I didn't do the housework. I'd be bored out of my mind. It would be disrespectful to him to expect him to do double work while I do nothing.

When the children come, we'll see what the division will be, but I anticipate doing most of the childcare during the week. Then, on weekends, they can have some daddy time while I have some me time. Or we have some family time together. There's also always an option to get a babysitter when we want to have our time. But we'll see. Children bring a lot of unexpected things in the relationship and the whole dynamic, so take this paragraph with a grain of salt since childcare is not something I'm experienced in.

rma5690 · 2024-03-10T11:51:00+00:00

Anytime I see this shit, all I can say is, "bet, switch places then".

Doesthisevenmatter7 · 2024-03-10T13:56:35+00:00

I just find this so incredibly lazy on the partner who doesn’t work. Cause I know for a fact that if your a stay at home dad even if your doing all the chores and the house work people are still gonna look at you like a fucking bum for living off a woman. But if it’s women oh my god she needs so much help and you’re putting a huge burden on her blah blah blah. If your ass isn’t working you can do the damn chores especially if you don’t have kids. 100% may be an exaggeration especially if small children are involved but 90% is reasonable. My mom did probably about 60-70% of the chores growing up and made more than my dad. They’re still happily married to this day. I’ll be damned you’re not working at all and you can’t do 90%. Why would you even want to bring a dumb problem like that to someone paying for your entire life?

OpticalEpilepsy · 2024-03-10T03:53:59+00:00

If a stay at home partner needs to spend as much time doing household chores as their working partner does making money at work, then how come almost no both partners work 8+ hours a day couples need a maid to spend that same amount of time in that couple's home/apartment doing that couple's household chores?

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-03-10T08:26:43+00:00

My personal experience is that at certain times when raising kids, if the breadwinner works office hours there is going to be basically no lively happy untired husband/wife time five nights a week unless the breadwinner chips in to help with the evening schedule. Because there's a lot to do in just a few hours that basically is hard or impossible or unwise to shift to other times of day.

So yeah if you're willing to keep sex to weekends only you can play your computer games while the homemaker prepares dinner, supervises homework feeds the baby washes lunchboxes walks the dog cleans up after dinner washes the baby supervises toddlers in the bath makes older kids take their baths supervises tooth brushing does the bedtime routines for the kids etc.

But if you're gonna want an hour or so of the homemaker being cheerfully available for talk and relaxing rather than frazzled and determined to sleep...I suggest you take on some of the weekday evening burden yourself.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-03-10T09:19:14+00:00

No, it's about actuall time and amount of effort at work. If you earn a lot of money but you basicaly just sit in the office and don't do much, you should do more chores than your partner that earns less but has low paid physical job.

And I guarantee that chores are much more demanding and much more effort than any office job. So it depends on each case. There no one universal correct answer.

The least earning person can do if they don't want to physicaly do chores is to hire someone to do it and help the stay at home person.

Educational-Roll9834 · 2024-03-10T11:20:43+00:00

I think paying for everything should mean you do significantly less work then Person B, but a whole family lifestyle is a 24/7 job where as a normal job is just 40 hours, it should not excuse you completely. If person A has 2 jobs perhaps they get more slack cause they have even less time. That makes sense to me

CatchPhraze · 2024-03-10T14:29:45+00:00

If kids, then no, you need to help out. If just a house/pets, sure the stay at home party should take on the mess you make to a reasonable degree.

Dankutoo · 2024-03-11T09:42:49+00:00

Hell yes.

I gather this is more an American thing (you guys have crazy amounts of wealth lying around), but if I somehow made enough money to fully support a partner, I would be furious if I also had to do the same amount of chores I currently do.

DreaminInChocolate · 2024-03-10T00:42:01+00:00

I think that there should be equal contribution for chores and childcare within the home during non working hours.

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cpschultz · 2024-03-10T02:26:50+00:00

In my world that would be a no. Now might there be a half day or day that they might not, it’s possible. The thing is it is normally talked out and we figure out the best way to make things work for us. That even includes addressing things that are kinda like this. By addressing it, we dont have to worry about unknown responsibilities (for the most part as you cant figure everything).

wtknight · 2024-03-10T02:33:34+00:00

I think that, in situations like this, it should be like the old days where the breadwinner was still expected to do some chores in the form of outdoor tasks on the weekends. If someone isn't suited to do the outdoor chores, not necessarily for a gendered reason, then some arrangement should be worked out.

I also think that the "breadwinner" should be expected to clean up after himself or herself. I also think that the breadwinner should not be totally inattentive towards all of the needs of the children. But other than that, I do think that the majority of chores should be handled by the non-breadwinner.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-03-10T07:45:40+00:00

No, they are not excused. Both partners should give equal time / work to their partnership and person A would be doing way less than person B if person A only worked a FT job outside the home.

The_Forgotten001 · 2024-03-10T09:12:30+00:00

Without knowing how many hours Person A works it's difficult to say, also do you consider raising kids a chore? or going to their sporting events? if so, instant no.

Ideally they both talked about chores/duties before moving in. If they did, then yes. Clearly he's allowed because they both talked about their expectations.

If they didn't and this is some sort of unspoken thing....Divorce imminent because now the wife will build resentment for the work she's doing, The husband will build resentment for the wife not appreciating him working long hours.

Dishonouronmycow2 · 2024-03-10T09:50:28+00:00

I think that helping around the house perhaps if your SAHP is struggling would always be welcomed, and I am of the belief that once you’re home you’re both parents and should be involved in caring for the child whether that’s just playing with them for a while or helping with homework for the day. Also if the person is ill, taking over those kind of tasks is a good idea, sometimes you have to pick up where you can

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2024-03-10T11:35:04+00:00

Yes, generally person B should at lease take on the large majority of chores. Sometimes, especially with children, ghere will just be schedullong clashes so person A will have to though.

BiffTannenCA · 2024-03-10T11:55:01+00:00

You're contradicting yourself. What you've described as Person B's responsibilities are the 'chores' you're demanding Person A also do.

E.g. 'looking after the home', which is a chore.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-03-10T14:13:46+00:00

Taking care of children and a home and keeping track of all of their needs is a 24/7 job. Working out of the house is a 40-80/5 job, and most people in the latter are working the 40, get vacation and sick time, can switch jobs, get lunch breaks, and don't have to think about work once they've gone home. So no, having less to keep track of and less work shouldn't absolve someone of doing anything at home.

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-03-10T14:15:26+00:00

If I was person B and I didn't work at all I would just clean the house. It's not about if Person A is a excused from chores it's more so I'll do what I have time for and Person A will do what they have time for.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2024-03-10T14:31:51+00:00

Can be but they should communicate that with person B if they feel that should be the case

kvakerok_v2 · 2024-03-10T15:11:11+00:00

If you pay for everything you can pay for a maid/cleaning/cooking service so yes.

No-Rough-7390 · 2024-03-10T15:20:39+00:00

Can’t you also pay for help in the home then?

If so, yes. It does. It doesn’t mean you can’t help when necessary, but you are literally making someone else’s life significantly easier.

holyskillet · 2024-03-10T16:31:42+00:00

Not in my mind - parenting alone is much more stressful than career, but in reality, if you don't have any money of your own, you are not enforcing or deciding anything because you don't have the power to walk away. It should not be this way, but it is this way.

John-Nada_ · 2024-03-10T16:39:14+00:00

If i work full time, then she basically has to work 4 hours a day, doing the easiest job jn the world plus has time doing her side hustle, PDHD and so on. But, we don’t live in those days anymore, she can earn her own money and i hand out the chores who are suited for her, while i do the stuff that is more suited for me, if she wants to jackhammer and renovate some stuff and if it’s aligned with our common interest, free range go at it.

throwinsilaway · 2024-03-10T19:17:52+00:00

In general, yes.

If you have a newborn, multiple very young children, or a sick partner or children, then maybe not fully.

Also bonding with children, reading to them, tucking them in, etc. should be done by both parents and hopefully isn't seen as a chore even if you don't always like it.

And every so often your partner might visit family or take a trip with friends or some other type vacation.

So always? No.

hearyoume14 · 2024-03-10T20:18:34+00:00

We’ve always cleaned together.Both of my parents worked. Once you hit about 4 years old you had to help pick up stuff. Is that not common?

Edited for clarification.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2024-03-11T04:14:21+00:00

Its really about the division of labor being evenly divided. If one person is being more overworked than the other than its time to rebalance things.

illusoryfindings · 2024-03-10T00:38:23+00:00

I'm a person A and I don't think I'd even consider a relationship with someone who isn't willing to be person B. It's not about finding an excuse to be a lazy slob at all. An important part of relationships for me has always been doing things for each other to make our lives easier.

If I'm earning all of our money and supporting both of our lifestyles, I'd expect them to look after the home for me while I'm doing it, at the very least. Otherwise things would be too unbalanced. Housework and managing schedules is annoying and never-ending, but it doesn't compare to the stress of a full-on job. And I would hope that they'd want to do these things for me, because of all I do for them.

That said, trying to make someone into a person B when they don't really want to be is a cruel misery for both involved. It's better for person As to look for person Bs from the start.

Logical_Resolution39 · 2024-03-10T00:20:10+00:00

I think when the kids are young and require a lot of attention, the person who is the provider should also help with chores and such. Once the kids get older though and are at school all day, then nah the stay at home parent gets a big break during the day, they can handle the cooking and cleaning.

relish5k · 2024-03-10T01:11:38+00:00

If person B was not doing unpaid work it would cost their families tens of thousands of dollars a year, at least.

Person B probably works from the time the kids are up til when they are in bed. Person B does not get weekends or holidays. If Person A works the same hours for income generation, and they are both on board with that split then yes, it makes sense for Person B to do all the chores. Otherwise either Person A has got to chip in or pay for someone to help pick up the slack so Person B can have a break.

BeReady6129 · 2024-03-10T04:20:19+00:00

Yes, with the exception of having a newborn.

Sheesh some of you make it sound like it is the 1920s, with modern technology it is not that hard to do household chores.

You know you could also get your kids to do chores, they have so much darn energy. Get them to do work, less time bothering you about being bored and while learning valuable habits and discipline.

Prudent-Conflict-557 · 2024-03-10T05:12:09+00:00

It does not. You’re still an adult. Person B is working full time. If you see something that needs to be done.. do it.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-03-10T10:47:35+00:00

It's not about money, it's about time. Money is just saying how much someone else has been willing to pay you for the work you do, you can work all day and not earn a penny and still end up exhausted. You should aim to have the same amount of free time as your partner so nobody is sitting around with their feet up while their partner works just because they get money for their work. It's unlikely in that scenario that one person will wind up not doing any chores at all.

obviousredflag · 2024-03-10T14:33:32+00:00

When did people degenerate so much, that they go from being single and working full time AND doing 100% of the chores in their apartment/house, to not even wanting to do 50% of the remaining chores that don't fall under "shopping, cooking, budgeting, etc."

Did you guys all move from mommy directly in with your wife?

abaxeron · 2024-03-10T16:51:13+00:00

Does paying for everything excuse you from chores?

Yes.

Nice house, cars, vacations, family outings, etc.

If ~~she~~ "Person B" doesn't like chores, "Person B" can sacrifice a couple vacations and hire a maid.

Few-Laugh-6508 · 2024-03-10T05:46:44+00:00

No. Both are working, one in the home, one outside of the home.

paputsza · 2024-03-20T22:17:18+00:00

no, because taking care of children creates an important bond with them. Playing with them, feeding them, making sure they’re happy and healthy is just enriching. They don’t care about cash. The royals, with all their maids and nannies, take care of their children. Also, i think a partner is losing out if they literally can’t eat food from their culture. Same with interior things and having their personality in their environment.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-03-10T00:30:13+00:00

Is person A allowed to be a lazy slob?

How is he a lazy slob if he's working to put money in the table?

Is there a 1-size-fits-all correct answer for everyone?

No, but I don't think any person that is not a useless piece of shit would't agree that person B should put the work into making person A life as pleasant as possible.

Is Person B never allowed a break?

Not in the way you're imagining a break to be, "looks after the home, the children, etc. They hustle and grind and look after the family affairs, doctors appointments, holiday planning, social calendar, kids soccer, shopping, cooking, budgeting," none of those require in today age a lot of effort because most communication is asyncronous. Person B can pretty much organize its time to have a free time between chores.

Active_Gas_6872 · 2024-03-10T01:05:34+00:00

Hell yeah. If she wants to split chores, she can take up a job to help lessen the financial burden. If she’s not working I don’t see why there would be an issue with doing most the chores as long as it’s reasonable

I couldn’t imagine not being able to do all the chores when unemployed. That’s a lot of free time

izoldetales · 2024-03-10T00:43:58+00:00

Why working and providing is not considered a house chores . Like hell the house wouldn't even be theirs if one of them didn't pay .

Let me say what people here refuse to say . Men here are facing difficulties in dating even after accepting the modern rules of equality in dating ( basically men should pay for everything and still do chores ).

Therefore, there is no chance in hell men here would be in a relationship where they don't constantly offer , so most of them adopt a mentality of " if I don't have it , no men else will " . It's the same with men making fun of women who want to " fix " toxic men instead of giving them a chance.

It's like the idea of the girl they like being a maid to another man just can't be digested . ( " How can Sophia be cooking for Jacob in an apron but not for me "😢😢😢)

Sorry( why am I even sorry) , but bringing the bag as a solo breadwinner is more valuable than doing some chores especially before kids . Not everyone can be rich , every one can clean .

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-03-10T17:11:31+00:00

Yeah person A is excused

just_a_place · 2024-03-10T17:48:14+00:00

It should, and let me add something further: If I pay for everything and then come home and do everything; then what the hell do I need to sticking around after the sex for? I would not be in the wrong to refuse any kind of commitment to you after sex. I do not need you and after sex I probably no longer want you. The deed is done. Contract is over with, adios.

My grandma had a better saying: "If a man works, cooks, cleans, and does all his own house chores then what the hell does he need a woman sticking around him for, unless there is something wrong with him?" And by "something wrong with him" she meant he has no self respect and is just allowing a common whore to live with him instead of leaving her at the local brothel.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2024-03-10T00:41:39+00:00

Is person A allowed to be a lazy slob?

How is he a lazy slob? He is litterallly working a full time job(and tbf, probably much more than he should) in order to solely financially support the family.

Is Person B never allowed a break?

Is Person A allowed to take a break from work? No because they'll starve.

Person B ofcourse should be appreciated and helped if felt overwhelmed. But expecting a person that works 8-11 hours to come back and still have to do the household chores too

Also,that dynamic sucks balls anyway

East_Writer_2892 · 2024-03-10T04:23:26+00:00

For everything but kids yes. Look if your partner is the breadwinner and the income isn't passive then expecting them to both work all day and then come home to help clean mess they probably didn't contribute to (since they aren't home all day) is a bit much if you're a stay at home with nothing else to do. Now when you have kids both people need to contribute but outside that if you're a stay-at-home wife or husband you should be doing 99% of the household work especially when people vastly overestimate how much work it is to keep a house in check. My parents lived in an 8000 sqft estate for years even that didn't take daily cleaning to be kept in great condition. So all the women complaining about having to clean much smaller single-family homes or especially apartments are full of it.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-03-10T10:00:46+00:00

Yes it does.

Cause if you pay for everything. This means you work a lot more and so spend a lot more time in mental or physically demanding job.

If you dont like the person wants to see some value back in the relationship maybe you should pay for your own things. So can treat him self more.

Its not a catch 20 i want a slave working for me. No its a matter of time. Doing all the chores takes maybe 2 too 3 houres max.

Working and having a job takes fastly more time.

So its quite easy what to expect. If you expect everything to be paid for you. You can expect to do the chores. Else do less chores and pay for your own shit.

Both want value out of a relationship. Else a person might as well stay single.

And doing chores is not hard. Doing a physical demanding job for 12 houres like i do all the time. Better believe if im paying for everything. She not gonna treat my house like a damn hotel. And be watching tv all day.

She has her responsibilities too. And i have lived alone for many years takes about 3 houres. And big parts of it is waiting on shit. If thats to much work. I bet a lot of people would take a more active equal of value.

Cant want traditional outcomes and refuse to do your part. Thats what people call a hypocrite.

You want modern outcomes. Pay for your own shit. And he will gladly do his chores. And uses the money he has extra for his own hobbies and going out with the boys or work buddy's.

Can't have it both ways. Cant expect value without giving it also.

Thats what equality is right? What i hear everyone none stop screaming for. So give equal value. For someone paying for all your shit

I do agree do that children should be look after together. So children duties that come with it. Having a bound with your child as father and being a part of its life in a deeper way is very important.

But chores have nothing to do with that at all. Just like the person paying the bills can also not say meh dont feel like paying the bills this month. This months on you. You cant just bait and switch your responsibilities.

Does paying for everything excuse you from chores?

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Comments

Does paying for everything excuse you from chores?

Title	Does paying for everything excuse you from chores?
Author	Windmill_flowers
Upvotes	15
Comments	268
Date	March 10, 2024 12:04 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bawboh/does_paying_for_everything_excuse_you_from_chores/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-paying-for-everything-excuse-you-from-chores.1426388 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426388