Men present a false narrative in dating

MarioWilson122 · 2026-04-10T07:43:34+00:00

Men already pay the price for thinking that way. If a man goes into dating expecting way more than he offers, reality corrects him fast. He gets ignored, rejected, used for attention, or left behind. So this idea that men are somehow being handed everything while offering nothing does not even match what happens.

The market already punishes men who are lazy, unrealistic, or low effort. That is why this framing is so silly. It takes a subset of bad men, inflates them into “men,” then pretends male frustration can only come from entitlement instead of the actual difficulty and imbalance a lot of men deal with.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-04-10T07:13:20+00:00

The only interesting point is 'compensating for the costs of pregnancy and motherhood'. I have seen a fair number of women argue that even if a man and woman are evenly matched in every way, and he does 50/50 on everything perfectly, it's still not a good deal because she gets pregnant.

allmyburnerquestions · 2026-04-10T03:29:03+00:00

Its kind of hard for me to see the angle with which to really debate this, so instead I will ask: What narrative/expectations do you believe to be appropriate for men to have?

BCRE8TVE · 2026-04-10T05:49:14+00:00

I'm sure the shampoo and conditioner bottles were impressed with your debating skills.

You see how men are really just complaining because they’re not getting sex and relationships handed to them?

No but I can see how strongly you believe you think you understand men.

How they enter the dating market offering nothing, yet expect everything?

Oh the irony.

I dont see how its not clicking for men that being in a relationship with them is a bad deal for women.

Well of course it's a bad deal for women to get into a relationship with men. She just has to ignore all the potential good things and obsess over not only the bad things but the worst things he could possibly do, and then clearly it must be a bad deal right?

IridikronsNo1Fan · 2026-04-10T03:16:34+00:00

Another day, another misandrist caricature on PPD that's more outlandish than anything early 2010s Red Pill could ever imagine.

I dont see how its not clicking for men that being in a relationship with them is a bad deal for women.

Newsflash, relationships are a bad deal for selfish people. You can't be selfish in a relationship. If you are in a relationship with someone you love, doing things for them doesn't feel like a chore. Approaching relationships from a cost/benefit perspective is some of the most dehumanizing shit I've ever seen.

Relevant_Rooster_999 · 2026-04-10T05:51:48+00:00

It's funny how 90% of your post is about money. Also - no man actually thinks like this.

When men had the upper hand in society, they used it to build families and a baby boom happened. Now that the field is equal, or some would even argue leans in women's favor, pretty much no one is getting married and no one is having babies. Idk about you but that signals to me that women don't want to pair up unless it benefits them vastly in terms of status and financials.

And yes, nobody wants overweight women and single mothers. Why is that a surprise?

Ohnoes_in_distress · 2026-04-10T06:57:59+00:00

Of this whole bunch of misandrist strawman arguments, I want to address this part:

"I want her to have and raise my kids without acknowledging or compensating for the cost of pregnancy and motherhood"

-highlight by me-

Why do you deny women their motherhood and the agency they may have in procreation? Women are people fully capable of mature parenthood and wanting to have children for their personal reasons. You pretending motherhood to be something only/primarily done for men, that you believe should be compensated (how? with money?) is extremely misogynistic.

captaindestucto · 2026-04-10T03:24:58+00:00

Taking the bait....

Preferring someone you can feel some physical attraction to?

Oh no. The horror. Someone inform The Church Elders.

Everyone wants attractive partners. It doesn't need stating because it's obvious.

Most obese single mothers wouldn't want short, shy, balding men either.

Razon-Literature-800 · 2026-04-10T04:39:16+00:00

Ignoring the straw dinosaur and misandry, whatever happened to people being entitled to whatever standards they want ("and if they can't find anyone it's their business")?

Inb4 "but women aren't the ones complaining when they can't find a man they're attracted to willing to date them" uh yes they are JFL if you think women are finding they can only get men who don't check off their boxes and just reacting with a shrug and smile. The pockets of incel and manosphere rabbitholes are where men complain. For women, their platform is everywhere else in modern mainstream society.

Confident-Ad-6978 · 2026-04-10T04:00:56+00:00

This is projecting your own failures onto 4 billion men on the planet

LawLegitimate2890 · 2026-04-10T04:03:34+00:00

Even if those standards are high who cares? Women have high standards. There are women who a literal bums who have high standards and if society has to accept that then we can accept the same thing for men

Prudent_Heat23 · 2026-04-10T05:14:25+00:00

Your made up strawman of how men think really proves your point.

Ego73 · 2026-04-10T13:20:11+00:00

young hot women

You literally made the young thing up

the Instagram models I follow

Literally whomst?

What follows after is even more nonsensical. Not worth replying to.

Odysseus_Wolf · 2026-04-10T07:43:58+00:00

Yeah, nah.

I've dated fat single mothers.

And there's usually a reason for that.

I used to think the whole adage of "theres a reason they're single" was just an over generalisation.

Found out the hard way that was wrong

user7223 · 2026-04-10T04:55:49+00:00

I think you're seriously exaggerating. And your claim has no basis or data to back it up. It is not men who are super picky, it's women and that's what the data says. You can look it up, most men rate most women favourably and it is a fairly equal distribution. Meanwhile, women rate most men low and only some men very highly. Most women flock to the same few guys who can have their "pick of the litter."

NuclearDoctrine · 2026-04-10T03:49:53+00:00

Most men get zero matches on dating apps. Not even an n of 1.

And I have no idea why same-age, non-fat women without children is considered "unreasonable."

I do agree fat women and single mothers are a low standard. But most men don't have a buffet of these women lining up either.

Avanni24 · 2026-04-10T05:16:27+00:00

You just made this up.

Organic-Ear-5900 · 2026-04-10T12:39:47+00:00

What a fucking bunch of projection.

tiddermacss · 2026-04-10T16:00:47+00:00

“fat women and single mothers are beneath me” well of course they are, i dont see women running around dating fat men and single dads see

Moldy_Gecko · 2026-04-10T17:11:35+00:00

Now I know why you're single. Men are simple creatures. We say what we mean and mean what we say. At least the men of my generation. You've made them so weak now, they probably do act like women.

Like, you're doing the meme. Men say exactly what they want, and then you go on some bullshit feminist tirade interjecting words and thoughts they never said. Hell, I wouldn't want an Instagram model... they'd just be like you mentally, but hot. I prefer women who are not self-centered, are family focused, and not drama queens.

You got 1 thing right though... no fatties or single moms. I'm not here to endulge your mistakes.

chriszenpaok · 2026-04-10T08:50:25+00:00

Satire?

I'll bite actually, no, men don't feel entitled to a hot woman, no, men do not want to date a fat single mother, some men want split costs and uneven housework but you're overstating how many, no, we don't want my kids to be raised by a single mother, yes, men want to be present in their children's lives, some men may be unfair with domestic work, some will not.

So all in all like half a valid point in that entire essay of bullshit

corey_trevorson · 2026-04-10T06:59:32+00:00

Yeah you're absolutely right about the root diagnosis of male complainers online. At the end of the day, these men have no choice but to earn what they want, if they are not willing to settle. I was able to make that transformation myself so I know it's possible for others.

I agree with you that settling for a sub par man is a bad deal for women. Being in a relationship with a masculine man who provides and protects, however, is a great deal for women

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-04-10T17:00:44+00:00

Women can’t fathom having anything but incredibly high and exclusive standards that’s why they have to excuse trying to date men many times better than themselves with an explanation like this.

chile-pica · 2026-04-10T17:37:30+00:00

I agree PEOPLE should be reasonable and less shallow in their expectations. PEOPLE should value content of character more and take the entire person into consideration.

I disagree with this adversarial lens you are looking through.

NiaNia-Data · 2026-04-10T03:37:14+00:00

What a hateful post, strawman and misandry? Double whammy

DorotheaA12 · 2026-04-10T06:52:27+00:00

I’m frustrated that young hot women

You greatly overstate the standards of most involuntarily celibate men.

I want a partner that splits costs 50/50, but expect her to do 90% of the cooking and cleaning.

How many men actually expect this? Do you have any evidence or are you just making things up?

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-04-10T06:07:20+00:00

It’s not false, they really believe it

The problem is they’ll take anyone for sex but not caring or putting in effort

OkBug9012 · 2026-04-10T05:18:10+00:00

A lot of them want traditional girlfriend benefits with modern split bills and zero real accountability.....That’s why so many women opt out. It’s not that men are being unfairly ignored. A lot of them are offering a worse life than being single.

AwardLimp2736 · 2026-04-10T06:22:06+00:00

That really isn't what's happening tho

Men are looking at all these women having "situationships" and being used, manipulated and sometimes abused by men that have no long term interest in them

They're seeing women go for men that, at least to men, obviously won't settle down with them, and just pointing out that they would have been happy to commit to a woman with that level of beauty, but here she is choosing to get therapy after being pumped and dumped

I've been on both sides of the equation, and this is exactly correct and has been going on for a long time

I remember one instance fondly where a woman I had previously gone on a date with to meet me at the bar. When I arrived, there was another guy with her, I walk up and start kissing her. I saw the guy storm out almost in tears, when I asked her who he was, "just a friend"

After taking her home that night, she wanted me to go on some camping trip with her and her friends, I blocked her number

I know that "friend" of hers would have worshiped the ground she walked on, but she chose me instead, then women like her get online and complain why men won't commit to them.

lesliecarbone · 2026-04-10T10:27:13+00:00

I don't see how it's not clicking for men that being in a relationship with them is a bad deal for women.

Androcentrism is a heckuva drug.

wtknight · 2026-04-10T12:20:53+00:00

You see how men are really just complaining because they’re not getting sex and relationships handed to them? How they enter the dating market offering nothing

Men offer the same thing that they have offered through history - hard work outside the house, wealth through a job and property, and protection from other men.

The problem is, women can now do these things themselves. So from a woman’s perspective, they now offer nothing, even though technically they still do.

Men who adapt to offer the things that women now do want will be successful, of course. But I think that it’s inaccurate to say that men offer nothing and are completely worthless. At the very least, they usually supplement a woman’s income through their own employment and make it easier to pay her bills. I am also guessing that women feel safer walking around with their male partners than they do when walking around by themselves.

LawfulnessSuper5091 · 2026-04-10T03:48:44+00:00

Although this is a caricature and a bit silly, I have to admit I see some truth to this on here.

Generally though, I see a lot of this from women too. From what I can tell a gap between expectations and reality is the main issue for most people who claim they 'can't find anyone decent'.

As a middle aged guy with a good career (but not rich) this is what I see, in caricature:

"I want a nice guy but not a nice guy but still masculine and 'confident' by which I mean arrogant but not arrogant to me I'd like chill and calm but also unlike most chill guys I want him to be ambitious and also to Organise Dates even though if anything on the planet can be provent to be biologically gendered it is organising social occasions and also if he doesn't get it right I'll whine on like a kettle also generous but I'm not shallow so he'd better pay for most things but also line up with the right sort of feminist tropes but eurr not be a brokey guy oh wait that covers most guys who work for charities and green orgs oh well ciao losers and also intelligent but by that I mean simpletons working in finance not like history PdDs or research scientists eurr ick also must like dogs. Specifically the one I let sleep with its head on top of me every night as a long-embedded substitute for love. Also I want someone mature, but though I know women and men are different I've been listening to endless age gap podcasts so I only want someone up to 3 years older."

But most women aren't completely like this, and a large number aren't much like this at all.

So touch grass and remember this online world is not the entirety...

Due_Appointment_1188 · 2026-04-10T05:27:00+00:00

The narrative men present:
“I’m just a normal, nice guy who wants a chance. My standards are low and reasonable.”

Any guy that thinks that is a person with no self-respect that you probably don't and shouldn't want to date.

What’s often underneath that:
“I’m frustrated that young hot women don’t want to sleep with me so it can give me an orgasm and stroke my ego. I am angry I cant have a gf who looks like the Instagram models I follow, fat women and single mothers are beneath me. I want a partner that splits costs 50/50, but expect her to do 90% of the cooking and cleaning. I want her to have and raise my kids without acknowledging or compensating for the cost of pregnancy and motherhood. I expect her to do all the domestic work, but if we break up, she gets nothing financially - essentially treating her like unpaid labour in the household for years."

Okay? But you have to see how this reads from the outside from the perspective of someone who doesn't think that way. It reads like make belief because there is zero relatability between how you describe men and how I know I am what I know I look for in a person.

DietTyrone · 2026-04-11T16:21:04+00:00

My issues with arguments like this is that although I'm not saying your wrong and maybe some of these guys aren't normal nice guys, so what if they actually were normal nice guys with reasonably low standards? Women will suddenly be all over then because Just World Fallacy and being so nice makes them horny? Who cares about the distinction between the fake nice guys and real nice guys if they're both getting the same results?

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-04-10T07:56:39+00:00

Yup, pretty much. They complain about women having extraordinarily high standards while not being aware of their own.

How often do you see a woman being less physically attractive than their male partner, especially for young couples? I can count on 1 hand the number of times I've seen it.

They're not attractive enough for their standards, and like to whine incessantly when women they want won't cast a second glance at them. Your SMV is just what you get, nothing more and nothing less. If all you can attract are women you rate as below average, guess what you are to women?

For all they complain about women being brainwashed by social media / porn, they're just as deluded by it, too both in terms of the partners they think they deserve and what they think women look for in a partner.

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YeaNobody · 2026-04-10T03:49:50+00:00

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Kingcrow33 · 2026-04-10T12:05:30+00:00

You're doing a whole lot of projecting there bro.

Tirian_the_last_king · 2026-04-22T05:39:45+00:00

For the most part, your takes on this subreddit are pretty solid...

As a man, I can't even have male friends really, because I have so little respect for the average man (they're cowardly as hell).

And I can hardly have female friends either, since usually, if we do become friends, they are often super impressed with the fact that I'm not desperate to go out with them... so then they fall in love with me, lol.

aslfingerspell · 2026-04-10T03:14:26+00:00

What about people who don't have kids?

Siukslinis_acc · 2026-04-10T09:41:13+00:00

“I’m just a normal, nice guy who wants a chance. My standards are low and reasonable.”

Everyone thinks that they are a normal and nice person whise standarts are low and reasonable. We tend to see our lives as default and normal, as baseline. Though interactions and comparisons with others we might realise that we aren't normal, that our standarts are high and unreasonable.

What are high or unreasonable standarts depends on the other people. You can either adjust your standarts or be content in having a harder time to find someone who meets them.

If you grew up surrounded by vegans, being vegan then it is not a wonder that you might think that wanting the other person to be vegan is a low standart.

Title	Men present a false narrative in dating
Author	ZealousidealBag5778
Upvotes	0
Comments	268
Date	April 10, 2026 3:09 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1shau8w/men_present_a_false_narrative_in_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-present-a-false-narrative-in-dating.1577574 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577574

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