Women making the first move

Intrepid_Place5390 · 2022-03-01T13:42:43+00:00

There's nothing wrong with a woman making the first move.

Is she "easier"? No, is she attracted to you? Probably, why she made first move right. The rest of it is chemistry and compatibility now.

throwaway316stunner · 2022-03-01T13:16:11+00:00

As a shy, awkward man, I would actually like it if more women did the approaching.

I do not view them as “easier” and find that notion ridiculous.

funlightmandarin · 2022-03-01T13:57:54+00:00

I’ve heard others say that women should never approach and ask a man out because he’ll almost always say yes - because it’s easy sex - but probably won’t respect her enough to pursue a serious relationship.

This is easy to counter though. Just don't have sex with him instantly and be aware of whether or not he matches your energy and effort.

vivvienne · 2022-03-01T13:37:01+00:00

I learned to make the first move because it makes a great impression.

but probably won’t respect her enough to pursue a serious relationship.

This mentality is all sorts of wrong. It's like choosing to do nothing hoping for a different result. Also that statement sounds like something women say to each other about men because who approaches whom in this context has little to nothing to do with men's preferences or the quality of the person making the first move, lol? You can sit around hoping for the right guy to notice you or cut to the chase and make your move. I tell ya one is much more successful than the other and wastes far less time.

Edit: I am married and I made the first move with hubs.

tiposk · 2022-03-01T14:30:53+00:00

I've made the first move on several occassions including with my partner. It sometimes works and sometimes doesn't.

Some men probably thought I was easy. Aa someone concerned with fairness I wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who looks down on women for things that he does himself.

Other men were uninterested or unavailable, which is a risk you'll have to accept.

If you're afraid of making a scene, be subtle. Start a conversation and if he seems uninterested move on.

DrinkItInMan11 · 2022-03-01T13:08:53+00:00

I don't view any woman as wife material, but I'm down with a woman making the first move, shows she's got guts and confidence to go for what she wants. She's not a coward, and that's something I respect.

Women who want to approach a guy but don't because they're lazy or scared are straight up pussies. Stop being so weak, grow a pair and go ask that guy for his number.

"Oh but he might reject me!!"

Tough shit princess, that's what happens when you take a risk, doesn't mean you don't do it. Men have to deal with rejection when approaching women, so be it, if you get rejected move onto the next until you find success. Grow a fucking spine.

That whole "never approach a man" mindset is just peddled by FDS members because they have to abide by the mindset that they're the prize as an excuse for being a lazy cow.

You like a man go for it.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-03-01T13:20:37+00:00

I think that women should make the first move, especially if they're in the majority that aren't getting approached enough to have options to sift through. Basically anyone should just go for it if they want to ask someone out, it's generally low risk and high reward. I understand though that this is something that's discouraged by common dating advice and frequently the men who are asked as well, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't do it. (And if you don't want to be used for sex, you can just not offer it. Asking on a date is asking on a date.)

Fantom1992 · 2022-03-01T13:28:51+00:00

Women do make the first move to men they’re attracted to. Unfortunately, that’s only a small minority of men.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-03-01T13:28:13+00:00

This sort of shit is mostly defined by local culture. A man and woman from the same culture will probably prefer one another using the same script, as it makes things easy.

ie, when I was younger and in school still, it was culturally traditional for the dude to ask the girl out. Because everyone knew this deal, when a girl liked a boy and wanted to be asked out, her friends (and even family) would actively seek out that boy and encourage him to ask her out. That's how I got my first childhood girlfriend.

It's 2022 now and that culture doesn't have a lot of infrastructure left. People are MUCH more honest now, too, so there's far less song and dance necessary.

By the time I was in college, people's lives were more transient, girls didn't rely on gaggles of high school friends to help them get bf's, and mostly things worked best if you could be casual. Instead of being surrounded by friends all breathlessly waiting to hear her say yes or no, you keep the "asking out" part down to under 30 seconds, and then drop it and move on to a different topic if it doesn't get a positive reaction.

Men AND women seem to do this now-a-days, tbh, and I like it a lot more. There's way less pressure and it tends to avoid a lot more awkwardness that asking someone out to to cause when there was more pressure and more audience.

TL;DR From what I've seen, women already make as many first moves as men do, these days. And it works fine by me. I've got an LTR tho so it hasn't directly affected me in over a decade.

Marketing_Baboon · 2022-03-01T15:29:16+00:00

I’ve only ever been approached by women who weren’t very attractive and who I never would’ve approached. I was flattered by the attempt though and good for them for trying.

BittererWegwerf · 2022-03-01T13:19:36+00:00

Do you view her as “easier” and therefore not wife material? Or are you attracted by the confidence and would want to match her efforts?

I wouldn't view them as easier. Having this kind of confidence is inherently attractive to me. Afterwards it depends on the person tho. It depends on what happens after the first move. I might be in the minority here but sex isn't what i'm primarily focussed on.

because society encourages men to make the first move

This imo depends on the context. In a cold approach environment or something similar then yes, you as a man can and should approach in most cases (even tho i like to be proven wrong) because in the event of a rejection you can easily move on.

In a warm environment such as a friend circle or the workplace i would need strong indicators of attraction because the consequences of misinterpreting can be dire, they don't have to be, but they easily can be.

tempaccc2022 · 2022-03-01T14:42:49+00:00

I prefer making the first move cuz I like shy girls.

But if she made first move it wouldn’t change how I see her.

throwawaylessons103 · 2022-03-01T13:41:56+00:00

Here's the 2 issues I (generally) see with women making the first move:

It's usually with a guy who's at least slightly if not drastically "out of her league." Think about it- women don't have as much incentive to ask men out, since they can get a ton of oppertunity for dates online.

For a woman to make a move, she usually has to think he's rare enough that the oppertunity to date a guy like him won't come along unless she takes it.

The guy usually won't directly reject her, he'll simply use her as a placeholder while chasing the women he really wants.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-03-01T16:49:27+00:00

Almost every woman making the first move on me has been a good 2-3 points less attractive than me. I still enjoy the attention but I rarely reciprocated anything.

It's not that I wouldn't respect them, they just typically shoot way out of their league.

logiauser · 2022-03-01T13:21:41+00:00

It's not a matter of respect it's a matter of shooting above your league. If you do that, you'll get used for sex but get no relationship (most of the time).

wtknight · 2022-03-01T13:08:50+00:00

I never perceived women any differently when they made the first move, although I would try to figure out their motives. Most of the time, it’s because they were less attractive than me and saw me as a “catch”. I always found more attractive women when I made the first move myself.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2022-03-01T14:27:47+00:00

Women who have the courage to initiate are great! But unfortunately it's a bit of a red flag for me now. I've found that lower quality women are the type of women who pursue men. High n-count women, women with daddy issues, women with mental health issues (namely BPD or manic bipolar), and narcissistic women are the types I've attracted. Tenfold if you're a guy who gives off "fixer" vibes.

That's not to say any woman who approaches is poor quality, but they may be looking to compensate for their perceived shortcomings in other areas.

Oobroobdoob · 2022-03-01T14:49:25+00:00

For context , I (25F) have received pretty inconclusive opinions on women making the first move. I consider myself attractive (athletic/fit, well educated, well dressed, sociable, lots of hobbies, successful career wise, confident) , but have been generally underwhelmed with the men that pursue me or I get set up with and I do not want to use OLD. I have a “crush” on someone I see weekly at one of my hobbies and am considering approaching him and asking for his number, but I don’t want to set myself up for failure just by making the first move.

TheEternalGhost · 2022-03-01T13:20:04+00:00

I’m curious how this sub perceives when a woman makes the first move?

It depends how she does it. When women approach in a way that's so subtle that I can barely tell if she's just being sociable or making a move I have no problem with it. The more sexually aggressive the approach the more I dislike it.

I’ve heard others say that women should never approach and ask a man out because he’ll almost always say yes - because it’s easy sex - but probably won’t respect her enough to pursue a serious relationship.

This is absolutely true and I've done it myself. I find most women sexually uninteresting and wouldn't approach them myself, but if they approach me and make it easy enough I'll probably go along with it even if I can't see myself ever having feelings for her.

ManGoneNoWay · 2022-03-01T13:29:13+00:00

Personally, I want to be the person to make the first move. It is not that I think lesser of a woman approaching me but I just wouldn’t want to be in a position where I’m the one having to accept or reject her. I also prefer to be the person more in love with the other than the other way round. And I’m just talking first moves in the sense of being the person to first pursue something beyond friendship with someone. Once you’re dating, first moves in terms of getting physical are fine.

In general, there’s obviously nothing wrong with women making the first move but because a lot of men are unlikely to say no to the possibility of (easy) sex women do run an increased risk of being strung along for sex.

Sandshrew922 · 2022-03-01T13:46:29+00:00

Doesn't bother me, I think it'll become more normalized as time goes on as well. Social media bombarding men with articles telling them not to approach women in pretty much every scenario lest they be seen as a creep has a decent chunk of men gun-shy. Nothing wrong with taking the initiative imo.

its_radical96 · 2022-03-01T14:41:09+00:00

Men would love to be approached more often by women- no man is going to look at the first woman in history to make the initial move as “easy” or a “slut”, he’d be too busy appreciating the rarity of the moment- but it will never happen. Women are far too used to things requiring very little to absolutely zero effort when it comes to dating. Why would you go out of your way to do more work for the same result when you can just swipe on tinder for 5 seconds and have 3 dates? There’s a fundamental problem with women having so many options. The attitude that women should never have to be the ones to approach a man when interested is but one of the many side effects of this- which in the end will play a part in devastating the prospect of traditional relationships in the present and future.

NOuvelleBlonder · 2022-03-01T14:47:14+00:00

So I approached my BF. Well he started the convo (we were in a group) but I kept the focus on him. I told him where I worked and when and when he came I gave him free coffee and attraction ticket. He got the hint :)

goneaway2thewind · 2022-03-01T14:47:25+00:00

Approaching is certainly attractive to a guy but it never means that you're instantly compatible at that very moment. The issue is that too many women think of the potential the guy could bring them, and are disappointed with their individual expectations couldnt be fulfilled.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-03-01T15:01:41+00:00

I saw somewhere that relationships last longer when women make the first move, so somebody likes it lol.

When my wife and I first dated, she didn't make the first move per se, but I always remembered she paid for our first date, nothing groundbreaking but just something I made a mental note of and just based on our interactions there was no confusing that there was attraction there on both sides

Do you view her as “easier” and therefore not wife material?

Taking the marriage part out of it ,If a guy thinks like that because the girls shows interest, that means he just thinks very poorly of himself more than anything 🤷‍♂️

Matt_Door · 2022-03-01T15:11:13+00:00

I’ve misinterpreted so many signals, including some spectacular flame outs that I really like when the interest is made plain and as obviously as possible

sootlord · 2022-03-01T15:32:12+00:00

If a woman makes the first move than kudos for her.

I wouldn't view her one way or another until we got to know each other. Lets be honest though women never make the first move lol

ChromaticVengeance · 2022-03-01T16:02:23+00:00

The men that like women making a direct approach are in minority, there are more men disrespecting women that cold approach.

Paranoidexboyfriend · 2022-03-01T16:51:27+00:00

"I’ve heard others say that women should never approach and ask a man out
because he’ll almost always say yes - because it’s easy sex - but
probably won’t respect her enough to pursue a serious relationship."

Well here's the situation. Of course men like it when women approach. Approaching is work and risks rejection. Its nice when a woman does the work for you and takes the risk so you don't have to.

Will I respect a woman more or less because she was the one to approach? Neither. Sure I might think "I'm definitely getting laid." since there's less guesswork. But it doesn't make me respect her less. or more for that matter. I don't care about her confidence or lack thereof. My desire for a relationship with her remains the same whether I did the approaching or not.

Where some women get confused is this. Sometimes women approach me that I probably wouldn't have exerted the effort to try and flirt with because they're just not that hot. But they're decent enough to fuck as long as I don't have to work for it. So the women who routinely approach men who are way hotter than they could lock down in a relationship start to think its their approaching that is a turnoff, when actually its their appearance and lack of insight as to their rmv vs their smv. And that men who actually approach them at least like them enough to put in a bit of effort to do the approach, which is at least a little bit of screening.

If a woman I wanted to date approached me, I would be thrilled and love that she did the work and we'd probably end up dating. If a woman I was just ok with fucking approached me, I'd also be happy for the easy sex. Neither scenario would change my opinion of the girl.

This is all hypothetical since I"m married now. I'm just talking about how I would've interpreted it premarriage.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2022-03-01T16:54:12+00:00

The men on this subreddit will tell you that making the first move is empowering women, and that’s the best a woman can do for a guy.

In reality, for most men, it’s an instant turn off.

This is because “making the first move” is typically masculine in a heterosexual, western culture. Men don’t like it when women behave like men. It’s not feminine and it’s a turn off for most men.

The men on Reddit are socially ….. different with women so of course they’ll tell women to make the first move.

I’m reality it’s masculine to make the first move, and most normal guys would find it a turn off that’s no different than wearing a thick mustache as a woman

BlueMountainDace · 2022-03-01T17:40:22+00:00

3/7 of the women I've dated approached me. It includes my three most serious relationships including my wife. I have no problem with it.

FWIW, my first serious girlfriend asked me out after a year of us being friends and I said no. She wasn't a dick about it, didn't bring it up after she asked me out, and things kind of moved on as usual.

A few months later, we got together after a mutual conversation.

LateralThinker13 · 2022-03-01T18:11:44+00:00

I’ve heard others say that women should never approach and ask a man out because he’ll almost always say yes - because it’s easy sex - but probably won’t respect her enough to pursue a serious relationship.

A woman asking out a man =/= asking a man for sex. Sure, there are a lot of easy women looking to get laid, but it's not a guarantee that she's just looking for sex; plenty are looking for relationships.

BassPotato · 2022-03-01T19:38:04+00:00

Women definitely can make the first move if you’re attractive enough

NotGoingoutofMW · 2022-03-01T20:18:44+00:00

My GF approached me and i took over with the effort. Directly wanted her as my GF because of that with no made up excuses like every other women does to justify their lazy asses.

AdobiWanKenobi · 2022-03-02T00:27:00+00:00

As a guy I absolutely would love for women to make the first move. I’d not recognise it until the woman would have to bluntly ask me tho 😅

She is definitely not “easier” for approaching. However IMO dating is much easier for women than men. It is phenomenally stacked in their favour both IRL and Online.

Zcuzz · 2022-03-02T01:14:08+00:00

Hottest girlfriend I ever had made the first move. She tracked me down on social media, asked me out, we hooked up. I never even told her my name. I think she looked at a paper I handed in for a class we were in.

It was awesome to not have to do all the work. It's so much easier to be confident when she skips the games and makes it clear that she wants you.

BigFatBigPotato · 2022-03-02T03:22:50+00:00

I would view her as amazingly brave for a woman, cause the vast majority of women are waaay too chicken to do that. Why the hell would anyone see it as easy? Its just a date, theres no guarantee of sex. Men making the first move have to be worried about being viewed as a creep, which is alot worse than being viewed as "easy." yet men still do it, so yeah, most women are just cowards, lol.

briiiana1122 · 2022-03-02T03:26:26+00:00

I have heard a lot of women think they shouldn’t. I will make the first move though, I wouldn’t want to be with someone who was put off by me doing so, so no loss if he finds it off putting.

TRDF3RG · 2022-03-02T06:16:44+00:00

I think it's great, and we need to normalize the idea that It's sexist to assign gender roles in dating. I'm sure there are many men who would love to be approached and many women who would love to do the approaching. As a matter of principal this is the right thing to do, even though it might complicate someone's dating strategy.

ogsimpology · 2022-03-02T09:58:14+00:00

"I can't approach??? Wym??? That's so awkward and seems desperate..."

If a woman says this, her feelings of loneliness, dissatisfaction, etc. INSTANTLY INVALIDATED

You can't complain about being alone if you don't do anything about it, or, purposely shoot WAY outside of your league.

Raise your worth. Know your ACTUAL worth. Accept that worth. Proceed to get what you want and approach...

Barely-moral · 2022-03-01T13:54:03+00:00

I’m curious how this sub perceives when a woman makes the first move? Do you view her as “easier” and therefore not wife material? Or are you attracted by the confidence and would want to match her efforts?

I personally see a woman that makes the first move on me as someone that cares only for the mask I wear and the status/material posessions I have/display. That is not necesarily bad. The thing is that usually the woman that makes the first move does not offer nearly enough to get what she wants from me.

I don't think that she is easier, I just find her shallow. I don't display my true self often. I am a lazy introverted bum that is ok sharing an apartment with 4 dudes and playing pirated videogames while working for minimum wage. What I present to the world is the image of a successful and driven lawyer. I guess I am a successful lawyer and driven enough to get where I am but it is only a mask, it is only the price to pay to be attractive. I have no interest in dating someone that would have ignored the man behind the mask.

I rather make the first move towards a woman that would have been interested in the man behind the mask and would never consider that she had a chance with the image I present to the world. That way I reward the kind of woman that values what I am by giving her more than what I am. Also, hypergamy plays on my side because she knows she can't do better than me/my mask.

I have only been approached once by a woman that would have been interested in the man behind the mask and was willing to pay for all the effort and pain I go through to keep the mask on. But at that time I was already in a relationship with miss moral. One of her "friends" learned about our relationship, about our deal, and decided that she could provide me with as much benefit as miss moral provided and more so she gave it a try.

If I wasn't with miss moral she could have had a chance, assuming she passed the background check, her behavior proved to me that she was willing to push a friend below a bus to get me, quite a good trait in my book. I guess that means that I am attracted to confidence and would match her efforts. But the deal I had with miss moral is iron clad. I don't get an out. I stay with miss moral forever as long as she keeps her part of the deal.

I guess I am ok with women approaching, but only with the women that would approach the man behind the mask. Those that would only approach the image I project are people I have no interest in.

LibrarianNovel6588 · 2022-03-01T13:57:35+00:00

Men will never value, love and respect woman who approached them. They like the idea because of all the ego stroking and easy sex, but they will never truly care about girl who made first move because she is desperate and pathetic.

lout_zoo · 2022-03-01T15:16:51+00:00

Do you view her as “easier” and therefore not wife material? Or are you attracted by the confidence and would want to match her efforts?

It depends on how and why they are making the move.
Like women, if someone approaches me and asks to fuck I'm not that impressed. If they approach me in a considerate and honest manner to get to know me that's an entirely different story.
Are they desperate or not?
If they aren't doing it out of desperation then I am generally impressed by their confidence and sense of egalitarianism.
There's nothing particularly impressive about a woman quietly wishing a guy would talk to them or approach them.
Often when women have approached me it is because they have heard of me through a mutual friend or acquaintance.

I used to be a musician and ride motorcycles. Women who approach me because they like my music or motorcycles are not impressive. Women who approach because they play music or ride motorcycles are much more impressive.

Spacechicken1998 · 2022-03-01T13:44:16+00:00

I made a post on this a few years back, I'll try to link it. Essentially you can't win either way as a woman

The thing is men value you more if they have to chase, men enjoy actually playing cat and mouse.

The men who say otherwise are extremely unattractive and effeminate, they expect puss to just drop into their laps.

I used to ask men out and pursued as I'm naturally assertive and horny. This got me a passive relationship, something most women do not want.

Girl game should be showing you like him and reciprocating advances but not going all out

sarkington · 2022-03-01T16:13:57+00:00

Investing more in any way has never paid off for me. Sorry, many dudes are lazy and opportunistic

Vallerie_d · 2022-03-01T13:20:57+00:00

The sperm swims to the egg. Of course (some) men are going to like it because it sets the bar even lower for them. But understand that it puts them in a passive and feminine position to be courted and a truly masculine man isn't going to like that because it stomps on his initiative. By nature he has to reject you because you're wearing his pants. I've tried doing it and it was awkward every single time and the men became actually very scared/nervous to be around me from then on. Never again lol. Femininity and being receptive to a man is what gets the most positive outcome.

Saxonlover89 · 2022-03-01T15:41:49+00:00

I've had women approach me, in my experience they've been whores. I recently got approached by a 40 year old who I knew, it was just a fling. She had a train ran through her over the years.

GGMcThroway · 2022-03-01T15:45:02+00:00

It would probably help if all parties involved had some semblance of social skills.

That said, everyone who makes the first move is risking the other person being a settler who'll take whatever they can get. No one wants to date someone who only accepts out of convenience.

Classic_Head3437 · 2022-03-01T15:54:38+00:00

Guys used to have pride in being men. They were the leaders in relationships. So they did all the heavy lifting and initiated everything. That isn't as common anymore. I have to remind myself there's an entire world outside of reddit where guys aren't emotional pu$$ies that need forehead kisses. But, most of those guys exist on reddit. I don't even consider most guys under 30 to be men. I don't consider those over 30 that still play video games and collect toys to be men.

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DeliciousPussyNectar · 2022-03-01T15:50:15+00:00

Usually taken aback tbh, it’s something I never expect. It’s what helped me realize better how to approach women also, because unwanted/pushy advances from people you don’t want them from really puts things into perspective. Most dudes don’t ever get to be on the other side of the table, so they don’t get to experience that and see what works and what doesn’t, even on themselves.

It makes me more interested in giving them the time of day though, even if it’s just to find out what brought them to talk to me to begin with.

PaidByPutinBot123 · 2022-03-01T16:39:25+00:00

confidence is the sexiest trait for a women. We live in a world full of insecure people, standing out is easy.

I say that as a man that has approached hundreds of women.

NotVar_username · 2022-03-01T16:42:22+00:00

I know that I’m kind of circumventing the question but it would be nice if women would at least give some sort of hint that they’re attracted to a guy so he isn’t just going in blind and playing the numbers game. However, I think that when it comes to asking out it should still be men doing the asking because it would show that he takes initiative.

thatguyoverthere098 · 2022-03-01T16:49:55+00:00

From my point of view, a woman asking you out is not going to change wether you want to sleep with her or not. I think it should be more encouraged.

zklpr · 2022-03-01T17:29:13+00:00

Confidence is very attractive, I like seeing it in both of the sexes. If you have the balls to pursue what you want, even risking personal embarrassment if you fail, I admire that. I’ve been rejected my fair share of times, but you’ve gotta keep moving forward. That’s how you’ll find the right person to spend your life with.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-03-01T18:40:35+00:00

I approached my now husband first to show interest ,then he took over after that.

GaryClarksJuniors · 2022-03-01T19:06:17+00:00

To me, I don’t think I want women making the first move, but they definitely should make clear openings. Like a woman initiating some physical touch to subtly let you know she’s comfortable with it, so you can then act on it. With some women it’s like interacting with a rock or something.

Caio_dos_Hack · 2022-03-01T19:07:17+00:00

i, personally, like it. it shows interest and makes it easier to have a comversation with her

blueyedtoke · 2022-03-01T20:22:48+00:00

I would automatically assume she was making a youtube video and start looking around for the camera.

M3taBuster · 2022-03-01T21:05:16+00:00

The act of making the first move, itself, would not necessarily make me think a woman was easy. Things that would make me think a woman was easy would include having an overly confident and/or flirtatious/sexual personality, dressing revealingly, being too physical too early, overtly expressing interest in sex, or trying to escalate to sex too early in the relationship, etc. So if she didn't do any of that while making the first move, I wouldn't think she was easy.

Basically just don't be easy, and you won't seem easy. It's that simple, really.

rvyas619 · 2022-03-01T21:48:21+00:00

Let’s just put it this way: I’d kill for a woman to approach me and show genuine interest in me, for once.

I wouldn’t see her as “easy” or anything like that, and I wouldn’t think of her as less than in any regard. I would, however, be more careful and try not to mess things up, especially if we hit it off, since life has never been kind to me when it comes to dating lol

H8beingmale · 2022-03-01T23:06:23+00:00

unfortuneately, why do i get the feeling that women making the first move or asking guys out, being the initiators will forever be rare, in the extreme minority, i'm talking in terms of starting the relationship, meeting someone, etc.

heyitsjeapeagain · 2022-03-02T02:22:34+00:00

Well in theory it would be great but if they started making the first move tomorrow, I’d be convinced they were scamming me. It would have to be something people grew up expecting before a lot of us could believe it’s real and not some kind of scam.

Deidara-katsu · 2022-03-02T03:15:47+00:00

Doesn’t really matter, if the vibe is there the vibe is there

likestocuddleandmore · 2022-03-02T03:25:13+00:00

My gfs who are 8 in looks say whenever they approach men first, men ignore them.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-03-03T00:54:53+00:00

I think making the first move is an excellent strategy because women overplay their hand on how non-committal they are and aren't too worried about being left on the shelf until too late.

So if you make aggressive moves early in the market, you get a better outcome.

Another point is as women get older, they do get more aggressive, the couger thing is no joke, women at that age often straight up.approach men, so it makes no sense not to do it early on.

The best outcome is when couples approach each other with the same interest.

slut-forager · 2022-03-03T01:54:11+00:00

As a woman who has often made the first move (including with my now husband) I've had pretty positive results. However my type is shy and nerdy men so maybe they're just grateful a woman approached them first. I've never really approached a more extroverted man or someone else like that.

Ectoplasmic1984 · 2022-03-03T04:32:10+00:00

this has always been the number 1 or main thing i've detested, loathed about having a penis, being born male, guys always expected to make the first move and do the asking out, be the initiator in starting a relationship, i never understood the origin behind why women have always played a passive role when starting a relationship with a guy, even if they are already attracted to him

RealNiceLady · 2022-03-03T17:19:30+00:00

If a woman has to make the first move, men are not interested

Sufficient_Chair391 · 2022-03-04T21:24:03+00:00

I think this depends also on tje culture. In Iceland, so I have been told, it is common for women to initiate.

PMmeareasontolive · 2022-03-01T15:44:59+00:00

I’ve heard others say that women should never approach and ask a man outbecause he’ll almost always say yes - because it’s easy sex - butprobably won’t respect her enough to pursue a serious relationship.

Such a beautifully blatant evasion tactic. The men who approach you are 100x worse of a risk in that regard. This is like hanging a sign around your neck that reads "Psychos Only" because you're filtering for men who approach as a numbers game, PUAs and the like.

ps; your downvotes are appropriately passive aggressive.

abaxeron · 2022-03-01T15:13:13+00:00

I’m curious how this sub perceives when a woman makes the first move?

It's the only kind of women who deserve anything at all in terms of dating.

tropicsGold · 2022-03-01T16:59:47+00:00

A core piece of wisdom from Red Pill is that a man MUST be a leader, this is pretty much required for a solid long term relationship, women just don’t have long term respect for weak men. For men, leadership entails a gain of authority, but at the expense of carrying certain burdens, one of which being the one who has to approach. There is no shortcut here boys, grow some balls of your dating prospects are going to be grim, and if you do get a relationship you face either her scorn, or her cheating on you.

For women, her taking the masculine role lands her either a man who just wants to use her for easy sex, or a relationship with a weak man that she will later grow to despise. No win scenario here.

Fortunately there is an easy solution, which has been practiced by wise women forever. You place yourself near the man you are interested in meeting. You dress to catch his eye. You make bold eye contact and otherwise flirt. Do everything but actually approach. If the guy has any value and intelligence, and interest in you, he will eventually approach you. If he doesn’t, another guy eventually will.

IcarusKiki · 2022-03-01T20:37:25+00:00

Watch what they say, not what they do.

Men (especially desperate ones here) will say they LOVE when a woman makes the first move. And they do, just like women like when a guy buys them jewelry on a first date. But is that a good strategy for the female? (And Im not talking about giving IOIs, I’m talking about explicitly cold approaching a guy). Usually not from my experience. Women who approach usually get put into the “easy hookup when the girl I actually like isnt responding” category and because of male thirst it will be hard to tell whether he actually likes you or if he knows you are easy and dont have to try.

freespirit1963TJ · 2022-03-02T03:32:12+00:00

There are times when women make the first move and the clueless guy doesn't even know. It happens often, it may not be overt, but it happens frequently.

Title	Women making the first move
Author	Oobroobdoob
Upvotes	54
Comments	218
Date	March 1, 2022 12:58 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t47d5e/women_making_the_first_move/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-making-the-first-move.1104694 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104694

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