If all you want is sex, you will loose

Notanothrshitthrow · 2021-09-29T12:06:43+00:00

Don't see at all how sleeping with a woman gives her all the power... As long as you don't suck in bed, it's a mutually beneficial activity that doesn't mean all that much in the context of a ONS.

silverface-mt05 · 2021-09-29T13:06:36+00:00

Well, it's well-established at this point that women want relationships & men want sex. If both don't provide each other what they want or if it's a one-sided deal (i.e. sexless relationship or fwb) either side is getting an unfair deal.

However, men want to have sex with lots of women and women want to date high-value men or at least men that display potential to become high-value. Both are unable to get what they want because they don't meet the needs of their desired persons. And this imbalance is the core of most problems in dating.

In an ideal society, both sides would transact what they want for what they can give, but most problems occur when either side wants to have what they can't trade for.

More importantly, the collapse of trust between both sexes is what drives this sleazeball nature of modern dating.

Dating, sex and relationships are transactional in nature, and inherently there's few ways to mediate through a third party (i.e. tinder or arranged marriages) without some sort of imbalance of traded value.

Inflated egos, narcissism, social media, lack of self-awareness, easy dick and picky pussy are the core problems of this continued societally-acceptable attempt to get more for less.

If men knew they'd get more sex in relationships, they would do it. But that's not what you see in the real world. Usually men want relationships but they just don't get them because they don't fit the shopping list of demands from women.

Same thing for men that want easy pussy without offering anything in return.

Your understanding of the problem is correct, but your solution isn't.

The-Wizard-of-Oz- · 2021-09-29T12:19:30+00:00

*lose.

Lose.

Not loose.

wtknight · 2021-09-29T12:13:48+00:00

Men have the same amount of power in either situation because his power over a woman is based upon her feels for him, which are a combination of tingles and her emotional hope for a meaningful relationship. It’s only his personal preference if he wants something short-term without emotions or something long-term with emotions, as men with options are the gatekeepers of relationships. He actually has power over her if she wants something long-term because she doesn’t see any other available long-term options but he is only providing short-term options for her.

RabbitNRaccoon · 2021-09-29T12:43:21+00:00

The number of people who don't know the difference between lose and loose is too damn many.

Saitama1993 · 2021-09-29T12:50:41+00:00

If you're a simp who is willing to spill his guts to obtain sex from a particular woman, yes, she has power over you. But if you have other options, she has no control over you. She doesnt want to have sex? Ok, we move on. Simple

f1vepointoh · 2021-09-29T13:37:58+00:00

Hahaha this is funny. Relationships are lose lose scenario for men. And sure maybe relationships might work for low value men but i like controlling my own life and finances. Low value men accept that they arent worth shit thats why they settle for women that dont respect them. Thats why women leverage sex in marriage. Make sure the dishes are clean and kids are fed or i wont let you mount me for 2 mins before i go to bed. If men cant get sex organically there will always be hookers to satisfy urges.

throoowwitalllawaaay · 2021-09-29T14:02:43+00:00

I mean, men and women are just going in circles here, reinforcing each other's dating attitudes.

Men value sex more and do all these things to get it because women are not willing to have sex easily, but women value sex less and expect more than men do since they can get sex easily because men are chasing women for sex so much.

tonyghow · 2021-09-29T13:04:16+00:00

This isn’t a cheat code. It’s a subliminal message to men to stop focusing on sex so that women win.

Focusing on giving the woman the relationship above sex is giving her even more leverage. That’s pure blue pill.

The message should be, “if all you want is women, you will lose”.

helloiamheretohelp · 2021-09-29T12:39:31+00:00

Nahhhh if all you want is sex, you WIN.

If all you want is a loving, stable, monogamous relationship where you’re each others’ mutual lifetime ‘best’ and you’re on the same team, you lose

lolomotif12 · 2021-09-29T12:29:02+00:00

Women also want men for sex. If you're a HVM the playing field is equal.

AerieIll3707 · 2021-09-29T12:19:50+00:00

Women control access to sex so they already have some level of power over it.

However, if a man acts desperate then yes he'll give more power to her. But guys who act needy and desperate generally don't get laid.

Lots of guys get laid everyday though. These guys are non needy and confident, and are able to arouse a woman enough to get her in bed.

If all you want is sex and can arouse women, you won't lose anything.

Barneysparky · 2021-09-29T14:03:22+00:00

Why should a guy who doesn't want a relationship enter into one? Everyone in that scenario loses, including potential children.

A pro with a small client list, and a housekeeper is what I have known men to have instead of a relationship they don't want/have time for. In this scenario, no one is hurt, and everyone wins.

Awan-Zada · 2021-09-29T18:38:30+00:00

Married/ltr men do have more sex so it does make sense to invest in a stable long term relationship. Its also the whole obsession with sex in certain societies which is creating Incels(I know there are also many other reasons too). A lot of young men think they are a failure as a men if they aren't getting regular casual sex. Maybe we should promote people to treat each other as human beings with complex emotions and not like animals just wanting to fuck like dogs and move onto the next person.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-09-29T11:59:12+00:00

No, if you are a man you lose leverage when you get into a relationship or worse marriage. It's like handing a woman a loaded gun and spending the rest of your life wondering if today is the day she blows my brains out.

TheRedPillRipper · 2021-09-29T13:24:18+00:00

you are giving women power

Women use sex as leverage. Men use relationships. For example if you’re desired; you can have as much sex as you like. Women will try to use sex to gain a relationship with you. Women however can’t have as many relationships as she’d like. Most desirable men wouldn’t stand for it.

The key is desire. It doesn’t take too much to become a desirable man. Train consistently. Earn decent money. Dress well and learn basic social skills. It then becomes fairly easy to get casual sex. As there are a ton of women. Which is the same reason it’s harder for a woman to keep a desirable man. He’s got options.

Godspeed and good luck!

cult-imagery · 2021-09-29T14:36:01+00:00

The best relationships begin through casual sex. In fact, I won’t go on a date unless I’ve gotten confirmation that I will be getting laid by the end of the evening. It’s pure communication, consent and transparency. Chivalry will come naturally because I know I won’t be wasting my time. I’m also more likely to prioritize her climax over my own. Men’s minds are biologically wired for sex in ways that some women just refuse to understand. I personally enjoy a woman that DOES understand and is willing to reciprocate satisfying my needs as well. If she doesn’t value my pleasure then why should I value her’s?

Lazy-Conversation-75 · 2021-09-29T12:12:24+00:00

Okay let’s say that all women by tomorrow decide to stop having ons, fwb.. any sexual activity outside a relationship. What will men do?

lemon-fiend · 2021-09-29T12:47:12+00:00

Relationships give both the partners equal power. Ideally, they’re both supposed to be equally invested and would be devastated if one of them leaves.

There’s a general belief here that all women are privy to their emotions and would do anything to keep the man of their dreams if she’s “emotionally attached” and oh boy, are y’all gonna be in for a shock when you realise that there are more women filing for divorces and leaving relationships just because they weren’t feeling it anymore.

I’d argue that casual sex gives men some power because they feel a fake sense of accomplishment at getting some and they’re less likely than women to regret it. It’s often brag worthy for them while for women it’s “a phase”

Relationships give both people equal power and eventually, the power is skewed in favour of whoever is the less emotional one because they’ll be able to pull themselves together if and/or when the relationship comes to an end.

12inchbamboo · 2021-09-29T14:02:10+00:00

Why chase when you can purchase?

Men are gatekeepers of sex while men are gatekeepers of relationships.

cats_walt · 2021-09-29T14:30:25+00:00

I heard this analogy, a relationship is a home sex is the toilet it could be a nice home but it'd be weird without the toilet.

miketrance · 2021-09-29T14:46:55+00:00

Most men who can actually get tons of meaningless sex would rather have a relationship. Even look at celebrity men, most of them wind up getting married many multiple times searching for that relationship. For a high value man sex is as easy, or easier, to get than it is for women.

For low value men they want tons of meaningless sex because they can never have it. SO these men aren't the ones out there having sex. The problem is for the high value man that finding someone worth being in a relationship with is next to impossible because you have to sort through a lot of terrible and scarily entitled women to find one you can respect as a person and who treats you with an equal consideration to what they treat themselves.

Most women in the dating world are looking for a caretaker not a partner or a teammate. They want someone they can unload all of their emotional bullshit on while not taking on any of his. For the average man this is the sort of woman he would have to get into a relationship with.

The high value men don't take the prettiest girls, they take pretty girls at least a 7 that have a 10 attitude. Trust me when I say a 7 with a 10 attitude is much more rare than a 9 with a 4 attitude. So what the average guy is left to deal with is either pretty girls that are horribly entitled, think Amber Herd level shitting on a guy's bed when she doesn't get her way, or average girls that are still that entitled. So for those guys just going for causal sex is their best bet even if it doesn't happen that often because dealing with a psycho bed shitter is worse.

HOLYREGIME · 2021-09-29T15:10:55+00:00

People have already thought of that. Chad dangles a relationship in front of women like a carrot and they fall for it every time. The average guy has to do more.

IOportA · 2021-09-29T17:18:21+00:00

Women don't want sex and women don't need your money

What women want is social status. Provide social status and women will be fighting each other over you.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2021-09-29T17:32:33+00:00

Not really.

Good dick is always in short supply.

Local-Coast3182 · 2021-09-29T17:50:30+00:00

If your interpretation of relationships and sex is old school where women "tolerate" or "give" sex to their men as a reward, then yes men will lose.

Wildhouse83 · 2021-09-29T18:26:19+00:00

The problem is, the only thing more more women have to offer is sex. Less and less are relationship material.

And sex can be bought by honest hookers.

AtomicMGTOW · 2021-09-29T15:00:49+00:00

Not sure I agree with your point about women not wanting meaningless one night stands though.

And I suppose it depends on what you mean by meaningless.

One night stands are meaningless in the way that they are not personally intimate or romantic. But they aren't intended to be.

Women will however, throw all the sexy possibly can at a guy that she wants to commit to her. It's still not very personally intimate or romantic. She's really just trying to get the guy addicted. And it only seems to make sense on the surface because it actually ends up working against the most of the time.

The HAWT guy she's throwing herself at has other options. Women have tons of options when it comes to getting a guy to have sex with her but if she wants a man to commit to her and love her that number drops dramatically.

My point here is that women find it rather repulsive when they have a ton of options and a guy that is lower than her (in her mind anyway) in sexual market value chases (throws himself at her feet). But they don't seem to realize that that's what they're doing when they throw themselves at Chad.

So basically when Chad is around women are drunk on hormones and emotions. They're risk assessment goes right out the window. As does their cost benefit analysis - not that most women are good at those things anyway.

Women seem to hate the idea that they might be considered more influenced by emotion than men. But you know, I think it would help them to stop denying it. Only by accepting it can they start to mitigate against it.

Even if you think it's total bullshit, pretend it's not. I think a lot of women would really have a lot better time in life and with their choices if they just assumed that they're prone to making poor decisions based on feelings.

OrwellianHell · 2021-09-29T15:30:44+00:00

If all you want is sex, go to escorts and keep the rest of your life simple.

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Gari_305 · 2021-09-29T12:46:50+00:00

If all you want and welling to give-take is sex, you will loose because you are giving women all the power and they will use the power as they wish.

To a degree, but woman do not have all the power. Though women choose who they'll have sex with, all us men need to do is be the one that would most likely to be chosen.

But if you enter relationships, you will get some leverage.. no?

The only leverage a man has in a relationship is his option to leave it. Thus the man's time is always his leverage. Thus no women can always choose not to have sex with their boyfriends, as a matter of fact it is widely known that women use this as a control tactic.

She will be emotionally attached to you -hopefully- and you will both create room to compromise.

That's only if the man has good sex skills and even that it can be temporary, if the man is out of shape then 8 out of 10 times the sex won't be good. Thus the comment you make is partially bullshit.

Chasing after meaningless sex that women control the supply of puts you in a weak position, and most women aren’t that interested in meaningless ons.

Bullshit - as seen here

But according to a study of 763 people, most women are totally down for a one-night stand with a complete stranger… as long as the guy she's sleeping with is magnificent in the sack, and she’s the one to initiate the single night of wildly uninhibited sex.

So thus far we've seen some bullshit comments coming from u/Lazy-Conversation-75

lets continue

And women have money now, so I don’t think you can leverage it anymore.

Should the man work out and take care of himself, then that comment is proper bullshit.

Radiant_Bliss · 2021-09-29T14:45:57+00:00

you will lose

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-29T14:53:53+00:00

I mean she might be loose afterwards, unless I'm getting pegged maybe

thetacobitch · 2021-09-29T15:09:11+00:00

I find it hard to believe you’re a woman, OP. Honestly this post is so weird lol. So much of the conversations on this sub center around ways that men can get sex from women. You’re talking about men that can’t even get a one night stand, let alone a girl to spend an abundance of time around them, pursuing serious relationships with women for the sole purpose of “leveraging” that for sex.?

You also mention that women “control the supply” of meaningless sex….but somehow they don’t in a committed relationship????? You tossed in the word compromise?????? As if once she’s emotionally connected to you, you can utilize that to get more sex? I can promise you I will not be COMPROMISING on how often I have sex. If I don’t want to do it, it’s not happening. AND I’m getting serious coercion vibes from this. Like seriously, as a rape victim, this entire post didn’t sit right with me.

If you have to sit and think about how you need to manipulate, plot, and play someone in order to get sex, you shouldn’t be having sex with them. If you need to gain “leverage” to make them have sex with you, they aren’t into it.

This post is disturbing.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-09-29T15:15:38+00:00

Not if I can get it… men usually want sex with some chicks and relationships and sex with others. Most men cannot get sex without the commitment part first tho.

Karmanger · 2021-09-29T15:41:10+00:00

You never defined what losing is..... or what Winning is...

What Have I lost when all I want is sex... If I'm with a girl and I only care about sex and she eventually leaves me..... I wouldn't care because I only cared about the sex and I'll move on to another women who wants or enjoys sex.

I win because I had sex, She wins because she has sex or because she moved on to someone else. No extra baggage being held by me and worries for her.... Whether I had a ONS or not... still had sex.... And a women won't have sex with you unless she finds you attractive anyway... so there's the in built "leverage" already there..

rivetcitymayor · 2021-09-29T15:58:31+00:00

You can only get relationships from the women who want sex from you to begin with though

AprilMaria · 2021-09-29T16:35:24+00:00

So long as a woman has her own means and assets, and so long as she has some sense of self worth, no man has any leverage, ever

Why can't they just be pleasent to be around and realize that they have no intrinsic non sexual value anymore as men, only as well rounded human beings.

TheSmallerGambler · 2021-09-29T16:42:52+00:00

What in the foreign-speak?

moosemc · 2021-09-29T16:52:12+00:00

What do you mean, if, all I want is sex?

TheEndTrend · 2021-09-29T17:44:25+00:00

In order to post I have to disagree with you, so heregoes...

As much as I dislike the argument ("we're all special and unique" lol) this one falls under the ole "NAWALT." Some women just want sex. Granted, not very many, but there a select few that just want strings-free sex. I had one for a couple months and it was a fucking blast, pun intended. Did I mention she was an ex-stripper? ;) Damn that was fun...but actually, you know how it ended - she caught feelings (and didn't like my friends).

Otherwise though yes, hard agree from me on everything you said here, haha.

Key-Progress-8873 · 2021-09-29T17:55:51+00:00

I swear sometimes I feel like half of what people say in this sub is some variation of the phrase "It's just sex, what's the big deal".

As if sex isn't fundamentally why we're here and why every single one of us even exists.

And as if humans can remain sane without physical touch and intimacy. To men, sex is a form of self-expression.

Not a healthy thing to be obsessed with, I agree. There's many other things men should want, but it's not possible to put sex at the bottom of the list, or anywhere near. But a lot of the female points of view I'll see expressed on here border on resentment.

I think part of the divide comes from the fact that women draw their validation from elsewhere and sex isn't necessarily connected to that. But if women cared to empathize with men, I would say, imagine if you were completely invisible and nobody noticed or cared about you. Now make this last months, even years. This is how sexless men constantly feel.

MrIrishman1212 · 2021-09-29T18:10:12+00:00

Relationships and sex aren’t zero sum. If you’re trying to find a way to have “leverage” over others than you are not in a healthy mindset to have either and I am curious how you view your friends.

Relationships and sex are about finding mutual respect, communication, affection, and enjoyment. If either side is lacking in anyone of those then it’s going to be a bad time no matter what. If all of them match up then it can be a great experience no matter the time spent.

koolex · 2021-09-29T18:11:14+00:00

The top 10% of dudes can have causal sex easily enough and make it work no problem.

If you're an average guy though I do kind of agree with you that the effort required to have a constant flow of casual sex isn't worth it, it's better to just focus on a relationship. FWB and causal relationships are almost always transient so even when men are making it work they need to be chasing even more women to keep things flowing.

Just to help you out OP I don't think a lot of men see casual sex as meaningless, like I don't think that's a super common perception among men. It might be just the shear fact that early courting requires so much effort for men that they are going to value the prize, vs women who don't need to put a lot of effort to receive sex.

meme_lords_unite · 2021-09-29T18:12:38+00:00

If all you want and welling to give-take is sex, you will loose because you are giving women all the power and they will use the power as they wish.

Wrong.

But if you enter relationships, you will get some leverage.. no?

Wrong.

She will be emotionally attached to you -hopefully- and you will both create room to compromise.

Hopefully, but who wants to commit to these thots?

Chasing after meaningless sex that women control the supply of puts you in a weak position, and most women aren’t that interested in meaningless ons.

Then I'll find one who is. Simple.

And women have money now, so I don’t think you can leverage it anymore.

I never needed money to get pussy, so this isn't a problem.

razormachine · 2021-09-29T18:31:59+00:00

It is actually refreshing when a woman posts a Red Pill conclusion, however I have to point out that woman can also use your need for a relationship as leverage.

If man wants to have any kind of leverage then man needs to make woman want relationship and/or sex.

Physiologist21 · 2021-09-29T18:40:41+00:00

Chasing after meaningless sex that women control the supply of puts you in a weak position

I guess this was supposed to be your point?

Danzillaman · 2021-09-29T19:15:23+00:00

Interesting argument. Not sure whether it holds but very interesting.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2021-09-29T19:39:22+00:00

I agree . Most men don't have the looks or social skills to get casual sex from different women regularly . But getting everyday sex from the same woman gets pretty boring after a while. The best bet for these guys is to get a girlfriend and pursue other women on the side. Having regular sex makes it way easier to get casual hookups from women because the pressure about getting laid is all but removed.

Sad_Top1743 · 2021-09-29T19:50:07+00:00

This is basically advocating for pump and dump relationships. Yes, offering emotional investment and commitment can work (particularly for average looking girls) as a trojan horse for your sexual objectives but its not for the squeamish.

Most men are not comfortable being so conniving, the ones that are most likely were used and tricked by women in their past.

TheHeroReditDeserves · 2021-09-29T20:13:36+00:00

Yes typically people entirely driven by there base desires don't lead happy lives.

Amr_Yasser · 2021-09-29T20:20:10+00:00

This debate makes me wonder why women control sex? Aren't they need sex as much as men need it? Or there are biological & psychological differences between the two genders that affect that aspect? If the answer to the latter question is yes, does this means that these differences also affect other aspects of life which leads to many societal distinctions between the two genders?

BarrackOsamaBinBiden · 2021-09-29T20:25:54+00:00

i concur, having too much sex makes u loose.

AtaCome7821 · 2021-09-29T20:28:44+00:00

If all you want and welling to give-take is sex, you will loose because you are giving women all the power and they will use the power as they wish.

This isn't true for the vast majority of men but let's pretend that it did, firstly we have to establish that there are two types of men those that women want and those they don't.

For the first type of man he'll always have some leverage regardless of whether he's chasing sex or relationships, except maybe for when he's in love with a single woman but even then he has some leverage because as a man every other woman wants she wouldn't leave him even though she has some power over him

But if you enter relationships, you will get some leverage.. no?

And here we get to the second type of man, the guy no woman wants and so the answer is no, he has zero leverage in this context. The only thing he can do is work, get paid and use that money on prostitutes.

Neptune-Jr · 2021-09-29T21:05:50+00:00

I guest it depends. If the man is satisfyed hitting on strangers til they get sex every once in a while I guess they didn't lose. But not sure how realistic that is.

PaidByPutinBot123 · 2021-09-29T21:44:49+00:00

Relationships are also hard to get. Im already losing at that. Casual sex with an attractive girl? Nice fantasy!

green_view_analysis · 2021-09-29T21:49:41+00:00

why is sex always controlled by the women in your model? a man has to want sex as well. thought models like this is what created TRP in my opinion.

trail22 · 2021-09-29T22:31:01+00:00

As a guy who cant get sex nr a relationship; getting sex would at least be a sign of progress.

MrShakedown1 · 2021-09-29T23:55:17+00:00

And women have money now, so I don’t think you can leverage it anymore.

Just import wife from poor country, but on YOUR terms.

Aviadcool111 · 2021-09-29T23:57:42+00:00

Lose not loose

americagenerica · 2021-09-30T00:25:04+00:00

It’s LOSE goddammit, not loose!

tb151 · 2021-09-30T01:11:47+00:00

This post screams out low libido

michael1962-01 · 2021-09-30T10:25:50+00:00

Sorry?

Room for compromise?

Attachment?

A woman into me WANTS and NEEDS sex.

I do not have to do a thing - she does.

She will have hard multiple O's and will bond from the cuddling after.

She is horny a.f. and wet without foreplay when i bent her over and enter her.

So?

I want sex. Yes. I have a high libido.

But i never chase sex. Why should i?

Real fun in sex is only with a woman who's 200% into you.

If you've been there you do not go 4 less.

I'd jerk off instead of dumpster diving of fu$$ing starfish or sub par...

Aldabruzzo · 2021-09-29T13:34:24+00:00

Well, yeah, girls who just want sex tend to get loose.

Title	If all you want is sex, you will loose
Author	Lazy-Conversation-75
Upvotes	42
Comments	348
Date	September 29, 2021 11:57 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/pxtu3n/if_all_you_want_is_sex_you_will_loose/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-all-you-want-is-sex-you-will-loose.1073586 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073586

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