Guy dumps his GF over not enthusiastically having oral and not doing anal, and gets hailed as an upstanding guy for doing this in the comments

bananna_nut · 2021-12-27T17:18:26+00:00

Super supportive both financially and emotionally, good head on his shoulders, mature - Guys like this typically understand what they bring to the table, and know they are a rarity

Lol the absolute state of dating in modern society, these traits are the bare minimum, but even men admit now that they are rare.

__kamikaze__ · 2021-12-27T17:11:27+00:00

….She dodged a bullet and potentially a lifetime of wearing adult diapers.

millennialpink2000 · 2021-12-27T17:11:30+00:00

What was that?

Oh. Just the sound of the gaslighting kicking off in the comments.

I really hope she realizes what a blessing in disguise this is and stays away from him. Someone's gotta message her about FDS

kangaskhaniscubones · 2021-12-27T17:37:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Hexibelle · 2021-12-27T21:42:56+00:00

🗑

dating-adventures · 2021-12-27T17:11:14+00:00

Here’s an example of a man who didn’t truly love his gf; who decided that anal is more important to him than her and her love.

She posted this after getting dumped and people are holding up her ex as an upstanding dude for “recognizing sexual incompatibility” and “doing the right thing.”

Sexual incompatibility is a lie, as another FDSer once posted (I can’t find the link right now). Usually it comes down to something else in the relationship not being right. But people more well versed in this, please chime in in the comments.

This guy 100% did not love her and was stringing her along. When he got bored he dumped her using sexual incompatibility as an excuse. But notice how he was fine with using her to satisfy his needs until he got bored.

Also, this is an example of how the major relationship subs will almost always be on the man’s side. Read and use those subs at your own risk.

frustratedmarxistfem · 2021-12-27T17:28:12+00:00

This guy is not high value and he doesn't "know his worth", he just thinks of women as sex toys and is deranged by watching too much porn. Men defend eachother in order to defend the status quo, every single man commenting is thinking (yes women will read this example and let us do more depraved sex acts in fear that we'll leave them. Perfect!)

mysecretdiary2 · 2021-12-27T19:55:23+00:00

I wonder what he means with, she’s not enthusiastic for blowjobs. Oral sex is something gentle and loving, and it’s all about the partners pleasure. I bet he wants her to act like some porn star or he treats her as a flashlight. Both not very enjoyable things.

brylm92 · 2021-12-27T17:35:43+00:00

"he sounds like a stand-up dude" 😂😂😂 nah trash took itself out.

Men love anal because it's about domination and humiliation. It doesn't feel better than PIV. Heard it from the horse's mouth. It's a sadistic torture fetish that is painful, dehumanising and dangerous for women. HIV exploded in the porn industry due to the increase in anal (it's basically in every video); it also increases your risk of anal cancer.

Anal obsession is a huge sign of a depraved NVM; drop him if he even suggests or "jokes" about it.

ETA: Lots of downvotes from triggered scrotes which confirms my message 👏

kansascitydream · 2021-12-27T18:23:57+00:00

Porn sick men are coercive and abusive. I hate that she is blaming herself and not respecting her own boundaries. I’m assuming that he is not a stand up guy. She sounds like she has Stockholm syndrome. Even if you do what the pornsick man wants, he will always treat you like an object. She may not see it now, but she is so lucky that he left. She has won years of her life back.

aquietsword · 2021-12-27T22:31:25+00:00

This almost feels like someone's creative writing exercise with how apparently "perfect" this guy is.

A man that "needs" to stick his dick in your asshole isn't some upstanding, winner of a guy. He's too emotionally stunted to ever feel real love since porn has fucked his entire brain. Bullet dodged.

BasieSkanks · 2021-12-27T22:33:52+00:00

If sexual compatibility is so important to men, why do men get so angry when we express a preference for dick size? Seeing as we want to make sure we are sexually compatible with them, it makes sense for us to have a preference for how big a guy is down there. But alas, men believe "sexual preferences for me, not for thee.".

cutiebranch · 2021-12-27T19:15:31+00:00

“I don’t want to force you into doing anything you don’t want….I’m just going to pretend it’s okay until you’re emotionally invested then whine and complain and threaten to break up with you”

Gross

Angeli_33 · 2021-12-27T17:12:48+00:00

You know I read some posts about love. When men love their women, they stay even if she's "bad" in bed because as a couple you have years to grow and learn to please each other. You don't just dump someone over this. It just means he wasn't in love, like she thought. Of course she's being gaslit again.

scorchedsouI · 2021-12-27T18:03:10+00:00

Men wanting to have anal sex with women can't be normal. It's a huge red flag that something's severely wrong in their brain.

myeggsarebig · 2021-12-27T17:56:15+00:00

Fuck. How many other women are out there feeling this way, getting treated like a sex bag, while saying things like, “he’s so good to me.” These type posts devastate me. I wish we could scoop them all up and bring them to FDS-safety.

Seriously, FDS needs a retreat center on a remote island.

Here’s my suggestion ladies. Even after you vet for sex, after first time sex, and before marriage, withhold sex (yes, Scotes, I’m suggesting strategy) for “personal reasons” for a month or so. If he’s supportive and doesn’t blink an eye, he’s a keeper. If he negs, and nags…well, there’s your answer to what he’ll be like should something like this happen again - ie, having a baby, vaginal procedures/surgery.

IndividualRoutine661 · 2021-12-27T17:34:37+00:00

No HVM is doing anal.

Anal provides zero change of orgasm for the woman and very high chance of physical damage which could even be life changing.

No HVM would ask a woman to take this risk.

Carneliancat · 2021-12-27T22:06:37+00:00

A man who wants aNaL is a man who is either power-tripping, or stuck in the Freudian anal stage of childhood development, or both. As far as I'm concerned, he's one pout-tantrum away from finger-painting the wall with feces. Stay away from these deviant men, ladies. They don't know how to sex you up properly and give you an orgasm, anyhow.

Also, what do we say about compelled blowjobs? That's right. USE TEETH.

WestAtmosphere · 2021-12-27T20:17:47+00:00

He did her a huge favour since she can't peek behind the love goggles. Dude is pornsick that's evident. But she would have faced the trauma of never being enough for him. Guaranteed even if she was enthusiastically giving oral/anal he'd eventually break up with her. Sounds like the kind of man who gets "bored" anyways.

onceuponasea · 2021-12-27T18:28:31+00:00

Porn addict

alpinepunch2021 · 2021-12-27T20:58:16+00:00

It's bizarre that it took him 7 months to realize that he wanted a fecally incontinent gf. Good thing he didn't take her up on her offer to basically rape her in exchange for emotional validation from his end.

herbivorouscarnivore · 2021-12-27T17:25:42+00:00

My first thought is, “What does he mean by she doesn’t show enthusiasm? Does he expect her to look like the women in p*rn, like nothing could ever feel as great as a d-ck punching hole through the back of her neck?”

My immediate second thought was, “What kind of jackoff is paying THAT much attention when he’s getting head?”

Anyways, lol and good luck finding what he thinks he wants. The women into his so-called kinks are not queuing around the block.

Frogspocket · 2021-12-27T19:29:45+00:00

Lmao @ the comment praising him as though he's some kind of patron saint of anal. 🤣😂

She's hurting now and I get that she's too embarrassed by association to tell her family the reason for the break up, but she'll look back at this one day and laugh. No matter what reddit tells you, foundations of sustainable relationships are not built on performative blow jobs and anal kinks and high value men do not discard women their own age in pursuit of younger sex dolls (and there is no such thing as a high value man that dates younger women, no matter how much neckbeards spend on reddit gold to push it 😆).

PinkPetalCdistbeauty · 2021-12-27T22:05:58+00:00

The post comments applauding Scrote are the definition of Male dumb.

Sewud · 2021-12-27T20:03:25+00:00

I hate this mentality of "this guy brings a lot to the table, it's normal that sex is important for him, having the type of sex you want is so important". These commenters must be CHILDREN. Basing your relationship on some kind of sex IS shallow, it's finding a partner just for sex, period. If you look at actual adults in relationships, there are so many things that are so important and sex is not even one of them. How are they going to be with the children, how will they talk to the children, how will they deal being alone with the children, what do they consider the right and wrongs when taking care of children and telling children what to do, have attentive will they be, dedicated, their attitude with money, how they spend and invest, their work ethics, what they talk about over dinner, how much their can take care of fixing things and doing maintenance, how they like to spend their free time, their weekends, their vacations, their retirement, how are they involved with their family, who are their friends. The list goes on and on. If you can find a person who fits all of these things, why would it matter that they don't give blowjobs? If you care that much about sex, you're dating for sex, and you're not a guy women are interested in.

ferociouslycurious · 2021-12-27T19:18:51+00:00

It annoys the heck out of me that we clearly state our limits, they ignore us, and later it’s “our fault” for having limits. WTF.

BlueSkiesOverLondon · 2021-12-27T18:36:23+00:00

I have a newsflash for these guys: no woman (except the 0.001% exception that proves the rule) actually likes giving blowjobs and anal. If men had no interest in these things, and porn hadn’t groomed women into believing men go crazy for you if you do these things, no woman would ask her boyfriend or husband if they could do anal, or if she could give him a blowjob. Because women. Do. Not. Like. Anal. Or. Blowjobs. We don’t have prostates, or a magical orgasm button in our throats. We don’t like choking or pain, unless conditioned to. Men actually get more out of receiving anal than women, and they’re still usually not interested, which should tell you about how comfortable it is.

This doesn’t mean that no woman is willing to give blowjobs,(as the women in this post was), because oral sex can be loving (and mutually reciprocated!), but I honestly don’t know where men get off telling us we need to look forward to it and act as excited as we would if about something that feels pleasurable for us.

Even if this guy finds a woman willing to fake enthusiasm for blowjobs and anal, these commenters are delusional in assuming she will maintain that performance for years or decades. Shit like this is why many women come to view sex as a chore, and it’s the origin of dead bedrooms everywhere.

kinkardine · 2021-12-27T22:32:23+00:00

Why this dude is dating women? He should date that bro who got awarded in comment-he has everything( the two holes) her bf needs.

vietprincessleia · 2021-12-27T18:15:33+00:00

I bet she has dealt with no orgasms during sex forever and that he isn’t as enthusiastic when giving head, but somehow people think it’s her problem? Wtf

preppykat3 · 2021-12-27T21:08:02+00:00

Anal?? Yeah I’d be more than happy to be dumped by a guy who likes anal, lol. He should stick to men.

bioqueen53 · 2021-12-27T20:28:46+00:00

Sexual compatibility is such bullshit when you're looking for a Life Partner.

What happens when she has a baby and can't have sex for x amount of time?

What happens if one of you gets horribly chronically ill and you can't have sex anymore?

What happens when you get older and that's just not a priority anymore?

These people are sick in the head.

keep_my_stuff · 2021-12-27T18:42:38+00:00

Not being sexually coercive is the bare minimum. And given the self-gaslighting, I don't believe her that he wasn't .. he probabl was and she missed it. He probably did subtler coercive behaviors like pressuring her to shave, wear porny things etc -pornsick and coercive go hand in hand.

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2021-12-27T20:47:19+00:00

Just a thought to all the kinky scrotes that happen to see this comment:

For the love of God. Can you guys just fuck off and buy your own sex dolls? Don't settle for us! Leave us TF alone!!

throwawaynevermindit · 2021-12-27T19:07:46+00:00

"Sexual compatibility" is almost never valid reason for a man to break things off with a woman. It's him showing himself to have scummy, irrational priorities for an LTR... every time. On the flip side it is often a very valid reason for a woman to break up with a man.

The entitlement of males I stg. Out here trying to convince people they "need" anal - which is risky and usually painful for the receiving partner - and oral to be "sexually fulfilled" while their girlfriends are struggling to cum if not gritting teeth through painful sex. And he's a stand up guy? Shut the fuck up. It's insanity.

My cynical side says he's been cultivating her emotional dependence on him so that he can pull "dread game" and coerce her into doing anal by leaving and coming back only when she offers to try - an unspoken but nonetheless clear and intentionally devised ultimatum.

Last screenshot is a great example of why male opinions on sexual norms and ethics are not to be seriously considered, for the most part. What he did isn't "wrong".... it's wrong. :) Setting terms and standards in this area is a female prerogative as a result of the greater risk we take to even bother.

AnniaT · 2021-12-27T23:02:19+00:00

She dodged a porn sick bullet.

melympia · 2021-12-27T20:06:02+00:00

If he's so much into anal and blowjobs, he might consider being gay... And, no, as far as I know, not every gay man is a switch (eg someone who both takes and receives)...

That being said, breaking up for whatever legit reason there is is just... life happening. Feeling sexually frustrated sure is a good enough reason in my book. But that doesn't automatically make him a good guy, just a run-of-the-mill not-necessarily-bad kind of guy.

normalbean69 · 2021-12-27T19:51:00+00:00

i’m genuinely so, so tired of men. i’m so tired.

Title	Guy dumps his GF over not enthusiastically having oral and not doing anal, and gets hailed as an upstanding guy for doing this in the comments
Author	dating-adventures
Upvotes	292
Comments	119
Date	December 27, 2021 5:07 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/rps0jz/guy_dumps_his_gf_over_not_enthusiastically_having/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/guy-dumps-his-gf-over-not-enthusiastically-having.1090389 https://theredarchive.com/post/1090389

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