When you move in with a man that doesn't even respect you

Nonsluttymen · 2022-02-12T20:04:04+00:00

Him: “I was very clear I would not be willing to compromise on my bedtime”

Also him: “As if she didn’t know living with me would require compromises on her part”

millennialpink2000 · 2022-02-12T17:03:50+00:00

I hope she moves right back out like a boomerang. This guy is selfish and hates his gf. He's entrenched in this power game, he doesn't even like her

bleda_princezna · 2022-02-12T18:57:19+00:00

Why did he want to move in with someone he so clearly hates? What an asshole.

oscine23 · 2022-02-12T19:28:06+00:00

Imagine your man buying you an air mattress to sleep in the living room like a pet, as he steps over you banging away in the kitchen turning lights on and off. I bet when she agreed she had no idea he’d be TOTALLY unwilling to take her into consideration.

Vaahla · 2022-02-12T17:48:32+00:00

I love how he downplays it as “doesn’t like me staying up late”

When really it’s that he employs sleep deprivation torture. Is loud, won’t let her sleep in another room, has company over, lights on, waking her up.

faultierin · 2022-02-12T20:08:51+00:00

You can just bet a milion that when he goes into the room she sleeps in he turns on the light.

Poor woman, depriveness of sleep makes anybody go crazy.

askmeabouttheforest · 2022-02-12T17:42:26+00:00

Yeah, and what's with the sleep deprivation? I see it used as a weapon so often, it's not even funny; always along power lines. It ranges from that guy "I will never let you sleep again, you can just get used to it", to a straight-up intentional torture tactic: "Oh, you refused to do what I want? Fine then, kiss your 5 hours of sleep goodbye".

Edit: typo

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2022-02-12T19:13:13+00:00

I truly hope she wakes up (no pun intended) and leaves his ass

FUBARfromLSA · 2022-02-12T18:01:01+00:00

Lemme guess 50/50 amirite?

ciciplum · 2022-02-12T17:22:42+00:00

This is a typical example of how you can't change others. I believe she should not have moved in with him, but after realizing it was interfering with her life and job she should have been out of there. He wouldn't compromise so instead she compromised (while desperately trying to change his habits) and lost her job in the process. Sounds like neither of them gained anything from this, but the GF* lost a lot.

edit: I referred to OP but meant the GF.

Japanese_Lasagna · 2022-02-12T20:53:01+00:00

This is a man who clearly should have told his girlfriend not to move in with him. He clearly cannot live with another person.

frostedgemstone · 2022-02-12T23:34:50+00:00

This is so scary 😭 throughout my life I ideally wanted to live with a husband because I thought it would be safer, more peaceful, more fulfilling etc. but I keep hearing story after story. And if it’s not something terrible like this it’s, at best, having to be a free maid for a man

vforvendetta87 · 2022-02-12T20:25:37+00:00

Umm yes, relationships are for growing together, not sticking to stagnant routines that are clearly unhealthy. This man has deeper issues than staying up late. He let a convenience move in, not a human. He doesn’t want a relationship with another human, he wants a relationship with another appliance in his apartment, that won’t move like his microwave.

warinmymind94 · 2022-02-12T21:31:39+00:00

Omg. He's doing it on purpose to mess her life up. Being loud, staying up late with friends over, going in/out excessively while she sleeps, leaving lights on purpose to disrupt her. Anna's a grown women that had her life pretty much together her job and adult schedule - lvm is probably a bald middle aged lump that is still trying to be A fuc Boi.

Notice how he won't dump her. He's already seen she's being a bangmaid. It isn't said but implied. Lvm knows no one else wants him so he's trying to trap her: disrupted her, caused her to loose her job and income. Lack of sleep makes you more stressed, irritable, ages you faster, linked to weight gain, and puts you more at risk for health issues. Now she's gonna go broke and he's gonna laden her down further with chores trying to get her to depend on him so she can't leave. ....are yall seeing it??

giftofnocondemnation · 2022-02-12T17:00:41+00:00

Never move in with a man. They get free sex and all you get is disrespect and abuse. Even your peaceful sleep will be taken from you.

asoww · 2022-02-13T01:45:22+00:00

The actual consequence of dating a negative value male... you literally can get yourself fired and homeless

QueenJillybean · 2022-02-12T22:43:38+00:00

I'm in shock anyone can be so selfish, inconsiderate, and claim to love or even care about another human being they have no problem fucking over. This man will never know what love is because he's incapable of so much as caring about another person, truly caring, enough that it will impact his behavior at all. he doesn't even understand the point of being a human. like what a fucking twat

thegenuinedarkfly · 2022-02-12T17:50:32+00:00

This has to be a troll, right?

daisy_0720 · 2022-02-13T06:26:07+00:00

I wake up between 5 and 6am, even on weekends and am fast asleep by 9pm every night. I refuse to even consider dating a man who describes himself as a 'night owl.'

This also illustrates how important it is for women to be able to live alone and push back against this toxic message that "moving in with a man is such a great milestone!". It's simply another means of having women depleted, exhausted and easier to manipulate/control. I'm starting to think childfree women shouldn't move in with a man at all. And if you want children with your partner, you need to vet the hell out of him before/during the moving in stage.

pozzalovah · 2022-02-12T20:33:57+00:00

I don't get why she is tolerating this . Ik it may sound judgemental but what does she see in this guy for her to risk her life ...she even lost her own job .This is a FDS rescue mission .

raphaellastorm · 2022-02-12T23:55:51+00:00

Is this real? It seems almost fake once he gets to the part where she literally got fired from her job. Are these people even in a relationship? How does this happen??

CrazyPaine · 2022-02-13T02:51:30+00:00

Yeah he's the fucking asshole. Literally you just said to her you don't like her and then when she's moves in with you're inconsiderate as shit and keeping her up and shit. I hope she moves out and soon. Like why did she even move in when he told her from the get go don't move in with me in the fucking first place?

cryptohobo · 2022-02-12T18:32:35+00:00

Ok but in his defence he bought her an air mattress! 😂

Sakuratakara · 2022-02-12T19:43:32+00:00

If someone's a night owl, and the other person is not, that's the definition of hell.

sassenachpants · 2022-02-13T01:47:25+00:00

When I started dating my first husband I would spend time at his apartment. I am naturally a night owl, and he would go to bed at a reasonable hour. So, I would just go to bed when he did. It’s really that simple.

Certain-Year-5367 · 2022-02-12T17:34:04+00:00

I’m always and will always be against moving in with a boyfriend, there’s absolutely nothing in it for the woman, the men loses respect for you and turns you into a bangmaid.

BellaFrequency · 2022-02-12T20:59:03+00:00

Respect her? I don’t even think he likes her. He just wanted unlimited access to the 😻😿

xfelugirlx · 2022-02-13T01:54:57+00:00

He’s worst that any younger brother that just doesn’t know what else to do to make u mad. Fuck off scrote

Colour_riot · 2022-02-13T04:09:52+00:00

"cOmPrOmIsE" when he's not behaving like a normal human being (sleeping at night)

Pinball-O-Pine · 2022-02-13T06:31:41+00:00

It took fifteen years to get a girl to live with him, red flag. Friends over late, red flag. Watching TV in the bedroom, red flag. Air mattress, case closed. Your honor, this toys r us kid deserves to live alone. We ask the court that the idiofendant provide the down payment and first six months rent of a new apartment so that the victim may get back on her feet. This is an obvious violation of the maturity clause. The prosecution rests, well, as soon as moron here is finished banging around in the kitchen at 3 am.

aquietsword · 2022-02-13T00:00:04+00:00

He's sounds damaged and undateable. I'm also a night owl, but when friends or family visit for an extended time I stick to a more normal routine so I'm not acting like an inconsiderate scrote. If I were living with a partner I'd make similar changes since the world doesn't actually function on night owl time and it makes more logical sense for me to compromise in that area.

That being said, I'm very tired of women not listening to men who tell them who they are. Stop thinking that he will change for you because he loves you so much or some shit like that. LVM are LOW value for a reason.

FancyCocktailOlive · 2022-02-12T17:18:42+00:00

Lessons here are that: - When someone tells them they won’t change for you, believe them - Don’t move in with a man before marriage & - Move out at the first sign of disrespect

PicoPicoMio · 2022-02-13T05:34:33+00:00

Throw the man away, what a pissy asshole.

aintshitsweett · 2022-02-12T18:55:34+00:00

How does he even have a job to pay for an apartment since it seems like all he does is stay up late & bullshit around?

TripleMoonMorrigan · 2022-02-12T20:20:10+00:00

Ugghh I just saw this on AITA and it made me want to go flip a table. Of course Anna is crying. It's frustrating when you can't sleep and have to work!! This guy is a scrote and she needs to move out and leave his dumb ass ASAP. Also very suspicious that no ages are posted. Anna is in an age gap relationship and is being taken for a ride.

your_last_braincell · 2022-02-12T23:33:24+00:00

What a messy relationship…

Jaelismyhomegirl · 2022-02-13T15:59:49+00:00

He obviously hates her.

This is why we don’t move into a place that isn’t our place too (as in: our name on the deed/rent)

TriniGold · 2022-02-13T11:45:44+00:00

Wow! I read the title and thought this would be the one with the guy Winnie the Poohing by walking around with only a t-shirt and no underwear, which is making his girlfriend who just moved in very uncomfortable. He, too, wanted to know if he was the asshole for not compromising.

But, I see this is a whole other situation.

So a whole other male who purposely wanted someone to abuse and got his punching bag to move in with and then actively destroyed her life.

I hope she has a support system and leaves immediately and gets a new job soon. My word. The absolute destruction these trash bags create in people’s lives.

KhaleesiXev · 2022-02-12T23:54:35+00:00

It’s hard to me to believe the post in the picture wasn’t a troll. How could someone be so blatantly inconsiderate and not see it? How did the woman tolerate it for so long, to the point that she lost her job?

Are people really this blind?

pat_labor_of_love · 2022-02-13T06:22:15+00:00

Is this even real?

purasangria · 2022-02-14T01:01:01+00:00

Ick. This is where pornsickness leads: A dead bedroom.

Who talks to their mom about their sex life, though. That's just weird.

CoriFend07 · 2022-02-12T20:22:44+00:00

This sounds like a simple case of poor communication

He passively told her he didn’t want her to move in without being direct. He should’ve said “no” instead of mask with distasteful points he thought would scare her away

She moved in expecting to control the situation and his person… that’s not fair either

Then both were brewing in resentment…

Recipe for disaster when all could’ve been avoided with clear mature concise communication

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2022-02-12T20:12:34+00:00

I mean, he's definitely an arsehole but she was an idiot.

tiny_house_writer · 2022-02-13T02:06:06+00:00

He's an asshole for being a rigid self centered control freak and she sucks because she should have been proactive LONG before she got fired. 🤷🏼‍♀️

capresesalad1985 · 2022-02-23T23:01:31+00:00

Holy sh*tttttt! Please please tell me he got completely ripped apart in the comments. How is she supposed to get any sleep????? He literally ruined her life.

sharky-doggy · 2022-02-12T22:39:24+00:00

You are both at fault for being immature and not ready to share an apartment together. Living with a person is tough. You have to make compromises and if you are not willing to do so, don't make this step. It's irresponsible to both of you. I would suggest moving to a neutral location and setting up ground rules for your relationship if you still wanna salvage it. If not - end the torture and learn the lesson. Good luck!

astormofrosepetals · 2022-02-13T00:14:35+00:00

This is a tough situation because I am also a night owl who tends to sleep around 3 or 4am. I work second shift so it just works out that way. I wouldn’t be able to change my schedule for another person and wouldn’t be willing either. I feel like he may not be the asshole in the situation but just didn’t handle it correctly. It just sounds like they were on completely different schedules and shouldn’t have moved in together in the first place. Hindsight is 20/20.

Impressivebutthole · 2022-02-12T19:46:43+00:00

You people did read he lived there for 15 years right? You act like he needed this woman.

You people are fuckin crazy no wonder youre single

Title	When you move in with a man that doesn't even respect you
Author	AnniaT
Upvotes	1109
Comments	136
Date	February 12, 2022 4:44 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/sqvllt/when_you_move_in_with_a_man_that_doesnt_even/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-you-move-in-with-a-man-that-doesnt-even.1101055 https://theredarchive.com/post/1101055

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