After my parents got divorced, my narcissistic father decided to be one of those guys who thinks "western women are too entitled" and that he would be better off sourcing his Sexmaid Appliances wives from poor Asian countries.

Both times. Both fuckin' times. These ruthless ladies ended up divorcing his ass as soon as they got permanent residency, all while taking a chunk of his money while they're at it.

You'd think he would learn his lesson the first time but NOPE he had to go and do it TWICE. Idiot.

Anyways, I know that my dad is a piece of shit so I genuinely have mad respect for these ladies for fleecing him.

I admire the sheer power reversal these women were able to pull off. On one side you have a schlubby-looking middle aged white guy thinking he's getting a "submissive" and "traditional" much younger wife. On the other side you've got an impoverished woman from a developing country who barely speaks the language and has no support network yet both times these women managed to come out on top.

That is some QUEEN SHIT right there.

I'd like to share some of the lessons I've learned from these women by observing their relationship dynamics over the years.

1. Don't argue with men/narcissists. Withhold privileges instead.

These women succeeded where my mom failed. My mom would always try to argue and reason with my dad which is pointless when you're dealing with a narcissist, because no matter what you say, they're just going to try and blameshift, gaslight, and DARVO you.

Instead, my dad's 2nd and 3rd wives would just go cold anytime my dad did something that pissed them off. Turn their body away, not look at him, pretend not to hear what he says. Refuse sex. Refuse to cook or clean. Don't react when he tries to provoke her, just act bored and yawn when he speaks. If he gets demanding and agitated, they would do as he asked but in a bare minimum way, almost bordering on malicious compliance. For example if he was complaining about dinner not being ready when he got home from work, how he pays all the bills bla bla bla, they would go to the kitchen, heat up a can of ravioli in the microwave and serve it to him silently, as if DARING him to complain about it.

This tactic alone had him wrapped around her finger by the end of their relationship. Narcissists don't have empathy so they don't care about hurting you because it hurts you, they'll only avoid hurting you if it means not hurting themselves. The only thing that will keep them acting right is fearing loss of privileges. What narcissists want the most is attention, it's like a drug to them. These ladies would flatter him when he did what they wanted, and ice him out when he displeased them. These women had so much control over his narcissistic supply that by the end of their relationship he was on a permanent emotional leash.

Of course, the best thing to do when you identify that someone is a narcissist, is to leave. Threat of punishment is not sustainable in a relationship, because the moment you lose the power to enforce consequences for bad behavior, you're screwed. This brings me to my next point:

2. Do NOT have a baby with a shitty man, or you will be tied to him forever

This was the one that surprised me the most. Neither of these marriages produced a child. The manosphere is very invested in promoting this idea that all women just want to baby trap men so that we can "divorce rape" them via child support.

First of all: dear men, nobody wants your worthless sperm. Don't flatter yourself.

Second, depending on which country you're from (and how good your lawyer is) you don't need to have a baby with a man to "divorce rape" him.

Third, the whole baby-trapping trope is pure projection. It's MEN, not women, who try to get women pregnant so that they can control us. Pregnant women are extremely vulnerable, which means they are no longer in a powerful enough position to enforce consequences for bad behavior.

When you have children with a narcissist, he does not see them as children, he sees them as hostages. Pregnant women and mothers are often very hesitant to leave an abusive spouse because they fear what might happen to their children. Many survivors of abuse report that the abuse didn't really get started until after she got pregnant or gave birth, because men know that it's much harder for the woman to leave once children are involved. Often, she will not leave until an extremely high threshold of abuse is crossed. Men know this and if he is an abuser at heart he will treat you as badly as he can get away with.

Lastly, even if you do succeed in leaving your abuser, if you have children with him you are tied to him forever. Abusers will often demand full or partial custody of children even if they don't want it, just to fuck with his ex. Women are understandably terrified at the thought of losing their kids, or they are terrified what might happen to their kids if left alone with the abuser. Abusive men will often harass you via the legal system for years even if they have no case, just to waste your time and money. They can demand visitation then not show up, or demand to pay less child support or even demand to be paid child support even if he does jack shit (that's what happened to Kelly Clarkson)

Avoid getting pregnant by a shitty man AT ALL COSTS. As a woman, you have nothing to gain and everything to lose.

3. Be financially independent. If you aren't, and you find yourself in an abusive relationship, take the time you need to execute your plan correctly and for maximum personal benefit.

The was by far the smartest thing that these women did while married to my dad.

They did not have the privilege of following the usual "just leave him" advice. There was always the threat of deportation, which would have made their situation worse.

Even though they didn't need to work and my dad happily let them stay at home and be housewives, these ladies were disciplined and strategic making sure they got their bag.

They took courses at the local community college during the day while my dad was at work. Language courses, vocational courses, financial literacy courses etc. to set themselves up for success. During this time they also made friends and built themselves a support network outside of their marriage. They couldn't legally work but they still managed to set aside money by working under the table or selling stuff on etsy.

They set aside that money until their permanent residency papers came through and they were finally ready to hire a good lawyer and serve my dad the divorce papers. Both times, he never saw it coming.

Since neither were working at the time and had no income (at least on paper), my dad was legally obligated to provide spousal support. They used that money to get their own place, far away from where my dad lives, and according to facebook they are both working jobs that they love and are in relationships with men their own age who they actually like. In other words, they've massively leveled up 👏👏👏

Conclusion

I hate my dad so it was extremely satisfying to watch him get what he deserved, twice. I don't even care if it means my inheritance getting flushed down the drain, it was worth every penny watching these women execute such a complete power reversal. I, too, hope to one day own a man with as much finesse as these ladies. In conclusion: don't argue with narcissists, withhold privileges instead. Don't have a baby with them, and take the time you need to level up, build your finances and support network, get your bag then get out.

Edit: laughing so hard at all the triggered redpillers in my inbox 😂