Why do men say they prefer experienced women IRL and not so much online?

mechanical_elves · 2020-12-10T17:35:30+00:00

TRP basically depends on sluts to work.

Men who actually do have this preference don't matter, most of them say what they need to and take what they can get. Very few men are in a position to make demands.

Slyfer_Seven · 2020-12-10T17:43:36+00:00

I mean technically, you can be both experienced and low n-count, by having lots of sex with one partner. The N count boys would still be disgusted by that though, I can almost see the one-owner car analogies already...

Realistically, this is just two different groups of dudes with different preferences.

sextinaaaaquafina · 2020-12-10T17:47:18+00:00

Maybe it's the type of men you like? When I was a virgin I had guys lining up to "pop my cherry". It became this huge obsession on campus and everyone called me a unicorn. It got incredibly out of hand and I felt like I was the only virgin on campus or something.

LotBuilder · 2020-12-10T18:52:56+00:00

Men you were talking to in real life or trying to fuck you in or telling you whatever they think you want to hear. Been on the Internet or not, you were getting their unfiltered opinion

Bandit174 · 2020-12-10T17:38:52+00:00

Reddit will disproportionately attract men who are inexperienced who prefer another virgin. I do think guys in general would prefer not to date a girl with a higher number than theirs but their preferences for a low number aren't as strong as with the guys who are inexperienced. That being said, when a guy has an issue with a virgin girl it's not necessarily that he prefers the idea of her having slept with other men before , it's just he doesn't have the patience to wait or help you get up to speed. However if a virgin girl was naturally good and didn't put up barriers most guys are cool with that.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2020-12-10T17:31:48+00:00

A low n-count woman can still be experienced, lets not confuse being a "whore/slut" for experience.

Someone could have dated someone for years and gained a lot fo sexual experience, relationship experience, emotional experience, etc - that puts them at a higher level of experience than persay a virgin.

Personally I'd rather date someone who had one or two partners before me that she dated for a lil and vice versa compared to her going out and having casual sex.

passepar2t · 2020-12-10T17:33:44+00:00

I know it's blue as fuck to say "insecurity," but I'm honestly starting to come around to the idea. Guys who rave about sex on the internet have usually slept with like 2 women with an error margin of 2.

When you're hell bent on securing a virgin who has no basis for comparison for your inept and panicked thrusts, well...

Virgins on pedestals aside, if given a choice of higher or lower body counts, men will generally choose lower. When an entire population of a small town has been between your legs, ick.

But guys also want to bang a woman who feels normally about sex. They don't want to spend weeks warming a reticent newbie to the idea. It's nice to just fuck someone who knows what she's doing. And sucks a good dick.

2020-12-10T18:00:16+00:00

Different men?

2020-12-10T18:37:04+00:00

This is Reddit, an anonymous platform where people are saying things they wouldn't necessarily want linked to them irl. It selects for people with fringe beliefs.

I'm a virgin and irl I find that if in the past having low or 0 N was more desirable in the mainstream today it's more about le "sexual compatibility." Does this person do the right things in bed? Where I go to college you definitely hear more about girls getting broken up with or rejected over being boring or a prude than for being too "experienced."

If I lived my life based on what I've seen men pursue for LTR's I wouldn't be a virgin lol. I do it because it's what I want to do. I work with the men who are cool with it from there.

Fuego213 · 2020-12-10T17:39:56+00:00

Virgins and women with low body counts typically tend to be fetishized. There was a post on here the other day from a woman is a virgin talking about it.

As for real life, personally I prefer sexual partners who are up to game on sex health, sex education, and arc positivity. It’s usually been my experience that inexperienced women typically aren’t any of those, so the compatibility isn’t there.

And that’s not a knock to inexperienced women at all. In the US sex is still taboo especially in education. I live in a major diverse ass city so there’s people from all over. So it’s a common occurrence to run into women from traditionalist backgrounds where sex Ed was probably nonexistent in their upbringing.

2020-12-11T17:19:06+00:00

For BabyBoomer (and prior) men a virgin woman was expected for marriage as cultural/religious traditions and once married she was expected to pass from one husband to the next, and as such, a low count. Men were usually older (easily more than 10 years) than women and as such expected to be more experienced

GenX started to change that, those traditions were still there, specially for the older ones, though for married women very few expected a low count. This is when women started to enjoy their sexuality, and as such some men liked and others more traditional didn’t. Still, men were a few years older.

GenY/Millennials, only the very few very religious expected virginity, and low count started to be almost a joke. More experienced women were really hot (the era of the MILFs had started). Women could be a bit older than men

For GenZ, virginity and low count is a joke. In fact, a woman with no experience is a problem. I believe that MILFs are no longer that sexy. Age gap is no longer as big as in the past, age are closer one to the other, with no problem who is 1-3 yer older. Virgin is not important, count either. It doesn’t matter who has more experience. Usually the girl I more experienced. Since he matured first and older boys started to approach them when they were younger.

In GenZ, the #MeToo has had a big influence. Older men don’t approach younger women. Beginning with late GenX’s, and Millennials have been living under the shadow of the sexual harassment, many scared of false harassment accusations.

This together with the rejection is another barrier for men to approach women.

In my opinion, a sexually more experienced woman means that she has developed her sexuality and is not scared nor repressed making her more interesting, but I am not a young man. If a woman in her 40-50’s has very little experience, that’s banned flag, since she’s probably still repressed.

I hope this helps you understand Real Life things. Porn is a different thing. The young innocent girl is pure and she discovers sex to become a nymph. Even rubbish like 50 shades follows that plot. In my opinion is pure BS.

In any case, as someone says, men no longer have the power to choose, women have it

anomanderforPOTUS · 2020-12-10T17:36:10+00:00

You are conflating different ideas.

Experience and n count aren't always directly related.

My wife and I have only had sex with each other, but we are very experienced in bed.

I've also had my friends tell me about women who starfish and were disappointed because they figured since they'd been with so many men they might know what to do...

Wanting a virgin is weird to me. But there is nothing wrong with being out off by the number of people someone has slept with, gender is irrelevant.

TheJim66 · 2020-12-10T17:52:16+00:00

Because saying otherwise makes them less likely to get laid. It also depends on the context. For casual sex I prefer "more experienced" women too because they are easier to fuck.

Your example with your virginity is because it was harder to get you to put out.

YoMamas_azz · 2020-12-10T18:29:46+00:00

Too many people, for some reason, think you have to be a slut to be good in bed. Lol. There is nothing that you cant learn in one relationship that you need to fuck tons of guys to learn. There are 100 N sluts who are horrible at sex and 1N girls who are amazing at sex.

k_sugarplum · 2020-12-10T19:34:59+00:00

Guys who find a low n-count or virginity a turn off or "inconvenient" , more often than not, just want a hookup/casual thing/FWB etc. Since they just want a quick shag, they don't want to go through the fuss of having to teach you the ropes of sex, and that's why they see it as an inconvenience. Men who really like you and value you as a person, do not care about your n-cunt, be it low or high. The only conclusion I can draw from your observation, is that there are too many fuckboys around :)

Hoopy223 · 2020-12-10T17:54:13+00:00

Most guys will want experienced women for hookups (more fun/easier to walk away) but “less experienced” for a long term relationship (you grow together sexually etc).

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2020-12-10T17:41:02+00:00

Irl men who say this get puss on the regular, so they have types they prefer. Guys online typically are virgins and don’t have the experience.

BlackDragon180 · 2020-12-10T20:38:12+00:00

In real life, I say the same thing too.

I appear non judgemental and sex positive so that women will be open and honest about their sexual history.

That way i make a mental note to keep her at FWB level. Then if she asks for an upgrade, I reject her (ie, fuckzone) and give her a politically correct reason, so she is none the wiser

Men can’t judge women about their sexual histories and bash sluts in real life in 2020. Do you want us to get cancelled and fired?

SaBahRub · 2020-12-10T17:51:09+00:00

Give a man a (anonymous) mask and he will show you his true face

PMmeareasontolive · 2020-12-10T20:58:51+00:00

This is a special group. People here tend to not be able to tolerate ambiguity well. So they embrace anything that provides structure, like drowning people in a hurricane. This can work well in many areas; having a rigid belief system or decision making system can be a pro-active highly disciplined way to approach life. But human behavior is a squishy thing that usually doesn't fit the prescriptions people try to make for it, whether they're blue or red. This is something that many, red and blue, cannot accept. So you have the weird and desperate behavioral models bordering on the truly hallucinogenic that you find here.

alphafox823 · 2020-12-11T04:17:01+00:00

I'm a young male who is not looking for anything serious, and so I'd rather have an experienced girl for a few reasons.

They know what they want, they are better at communicating. There's less figuring out and guessing games both before sex and during.
Virgins are a juice that is not worth the squeeze. I don't want to have to talk a girl into sex, or try to make her comfortable or convince her I'm worthy. I just want to find a girl who likes me and is already comfortable and wants to have sex because she likes sex.
The sex is better. A horny girl with experience will make out with you like the monster from Jeepers Creepers with a severed head and get on top of you, push you, pull you, shove you around, ride your cock, etc. Girls with little experience just don't get like that.

revente · 2020-12-11T04:38:57+00:00

Being a virgin and a tinder ho are two extremes. Most men prefer something in between.

Whisper · 2020-12-10T18:02:04+00:00

Remember that sexual history affects relationship value, not sex value. Men are perfectly willing to fuck the town bicycle, we just don't want to marry her.

So, in light of this, consider how younger men (teens and early twenties) are going to behave:

They care less about relationship value, because they are looking for sex. To them a relationship is often just a way to get regular sex.
They are less experienced at getting to sex, and less confident, so an "easy" girl has more appeal to them.
At some point in the recent past (depending on culture), they were surrounded by virgins, who remained virgins by turning down men like them.

In short, young men care a lot less about relationships and more about sex, so sluttiness is less of a deal-breaker.

MintTeaFromTesco · 2020-12-10T17:48:41+00:00

Because guys who spend a lot of time online overanalyze dating to the point where they see people as just statistics. I assume normies just kind of don't think about it that much, If they like you, they like you, and then they decide later on if they want an LTR. Although even if some dudes like experienced women, from my experience, they aren't that fond of full-on sluts who will have sex with any guy and have a lot of one-night stands.

PickleLine · 2020-12-10T18:09:07+00:00

The men you sleep with aren't representative of men irl.

rosesonthefloor · 2020-12-10T18:27:52+00:00

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EusticeSymington · 2020-12-10T18:13:01+00:00

I dont mind a woman who's had a lot of sex. I do mind of she's had a lot of partners. They have arbitrary deal breakers for us too - it's snakes and ladders.

ShouldIBuyACardigan · 2020-12-10T22:55:40+00:00

It is similar to when men say they like women without makeup and "natural". What they really mean is they want women who do not use makeup but look as hot as women with makeup. The same goes for virginity. No one wants a virgin and anxious girl in bed who doesn't know what she is doing will scratch your penis when sucking your dick, etc. They want a virgin woman who is also as good as a porn star in bed.

2020-12-10T18:39:59+00:00

You're not getting an accurate representation of the population on the internet. I would imagine the internet skews towards introverts and those with poor social skills. Clearly not everyone online falls into that category, but those most vocal participants? I'd imagine so, they have no other outlet.

So you're seeing what is essentially a small minority of people having their voices amplified because their subset of the population is overrepresented in the digital sphere. Sort of like woke assholes on twitter - it seems like there are tons of these people in the real world, but life experience in the real world suggests otherwise.

daproest1 · 2020-12-10T21:04:34+00:00

They don’t know any better. If they think they want experienced women, they don’t have enough experience with women.

SteveSan82 · 2020-12-10T23:52:15+00:00

Never heard of that. If you mean pump n dumps then experienced women may be better since you won't ever see her again

EusticeSymington · 2020-12-11T05:22:01+00:00

Because online brings out the worst in people.

2020-12-11T17:25:42+00:00

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Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2020-12-10T18:24:13+00:00

"I became extremely confused as a result wondering why men I've been in relationships..."

You "were". Were you?

If I'm going to marry I prefer a low N-count woman. I can teach her what she doesn't know anyways.

If I'm going to have sex then I prefer an experienced woman.

Men IRL are not trustworthy. Learn that.

No matter if it's about their N-count, their preference about primuscuous women or your relationship status, men IRL lie a lot.

Trust internet men, they tend to be more honesto.

kyle_fall · 2020-12-10T18:46:32+00:00

Because most men online are also inexperienced and their preferences come from theory and discussion boards as opposed to real world experience.

Makhmalak · 2020-12-10T18:58:47+00:00

Its really to important to look at the context. Do I just want to hookup with someone or start a long term relationship? For LTR I care(Most men do) but for hookup or just fwb It doesn't matter at all.

StrugglingRando · 2020-12-10T18:59:26+00:00

Your conflating motives. Men who want to sleep around probably don’t mind the experience. But the Men who are really interested in getting married someday prefer someone more chaste

sweetlike314 · 2020-12-11T01:29:36+00:00

and finally started feeling confident until I discovered TRP

Please do not internalize TRP culture as typical viewpoints for healthy relationships. Do not let their views on women create insecurity or feelings of inadequacy. Those are not the views of most men and especially not the views of anyone I know in healthy/happy LTRs.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2020-12-10T20:17:34+00:00

Political correctness and cultural norms. Men are still vocal about their preference for less chaste women in less politically-correct settings where the culture is non-feminist. Distaste for promiscuity is a visceral reaction, no matter how much we try to rationalise it. The instincts of Western men aren't appreciably unlike those of males from a few thousand miles away, nor are they likely to be that different to the instincts of our fathers and grandfathers. And the concept that men have suddenly changed and are now accepting of something they disapproved of for millennia is risible.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2020-12-10T18:34:23+00:00

You're looking in an online space populated by a particularly neurotic group of men who are all trying to one-up each other on the misogyny and (vitally) don't know each other IRL so won't get called out when they knowingly and happily marry someone with a sexual history they would have described as a dealbreaker in the TRP sub.

My number is astronomical and I'm really open about it and IRL men mostly don't care.

wtknight · 2020-12-10T18:31:26+00:00

Those guys that you're referring to are normie Blue Pilled guys. The types of men who believe in Red Pill are not really normies. They tend to distrust women much more than the typical guy does, and as a result prefer women whom they believe that they can trust when it comes to relationships.

jayval90 · 2020-12-10T18:35:06+00:00

What guys were you having relationships with? What did they want? Generally guys who want modern relationships with all the benefits want different things than a guy who actually wants to settle down and get married. The guys talking on Reddit are thinking in terms of married relationships, and the guys at your college just wanted someone to sleep with.

Paranoidexboyfriend · 2020-12-10T18:51:46+00:00

Well I don't want to shame the sluts to their face, they might take their sluttiness elsewhere then. I'm married now, but I never hated sluts. I just didn't want anything long term with them other than fucking. For me to have an enjoyable, fulfilling sex life with several different women, sluts are essential. Its just when it came to commit I want someone a bit more selective.

There's plenty I don't say to people in real life for many reasons. I don't tell fat chicks in real life that fit women are so much hotter. I don't tell people in braindead jobs anyone could do that I think they are easily replaceable to their face. I don't tell the waiter that he's being slow as fuck and hurry up. instead I say "oh, no rush, everything is fine." I don't want spit in my food, irate obese women in my face, or to ruin a cashier's day who's just trying to make a buck.

Urbantexasguy · 2020-12-10T19:22:05+00:00

As a Gen-X guy with a reasonable amount of experience, I honestly NEVER wanted to be with a virgin. Seems like a lot of hassle, for a woman who may or may not, even LIKE sex.

I'd much rather be with a woman, who already knows what she wants, and knows how to do it.

IcarusKiki · 2020-12-10T20:39:45+00:00

Virgin men demand virgins because they don’t want to be less experienced than their partner and therefore insecure or emasculated. Most other men prefer single digit n counts. Nobody wants a slut but most virgin fetishizers are insecure and want a pure girl bc theyre less likely to have experienced better

migmatitic · 2020-12-10T18:53:20+00:00

because people online don't actually have sex

Banned_BY_SOYMEN · 2020-12-10T19:56:37+00:00

Prefer them for what? An experienced woman with a high sex drive and is always DTF will be better than an inexperienced woman with a low sex drive and is very prudish.

The problem with women with MANY past partners is if you enter an LTR with them; they'll conveniently only remember all the positive aspects of their exes and kind of consolidate these positive characteristics in one manifestation and either subconsciously or consciously compare you to that manifestation when she starts feeling a bit concerned about being in the relationship.

Zonkey_Zeedonk · 2020-12-11T00:00:33+00:00

Because these online communities are actually a pretty small subset of the real world male demographic.

I’ve found most men in the real world would be/are scared to death of having sex with virgins because they’re afraid said virgins will get attached to fast.

Most of those who aren’t scared to do so just don’t really care if someone is one or not.

Remember that the RP and Incel communities run closely interwined, and incels are usually a little insecure about their own lack of sexual experience and so say they want virginity for some biological reason, but really they probably just don’t want to be less experienced than a partner and feel like they don’t know what they’re doing.

Brennelement · 2020-12-10T20:23:20+00:00

I definitely prefer women with a low n-count, but I’m looking for a long term relationship & kids. For hookups I wouldn’t be as concerned, but a high n-count absolutely rules her out as possible relationship material. Not making a moral judgement about that lifestyle, just saying I couldn’t be with a person who’s casually banged dozens of guys.

Eminemloverrrrr · 2020-12-11T02:26:04+00:00

I have a question... why does anybody care about N count?!??! I don’t ask guys Ive dated, I don’t care how many women you’ve been with, it does not matter and I think if someone treats you good and you have a good sex life who gives a shit?! Edit: I actually had this discussion with my bf recently and we figured out we both did ask N counts in our 20s, once we hit 30 we realized how stupid it was and stopped asking

innocent_butungu · 2020-12-10T19:22:48+00:00

> A lot of guys found it a turn off or "inconvenient".

because you weren't going for the guys that were more likely to strongly prefere virgin/inexperienced women. You were probably going for guys with more experience with women compared to the average male, as your " A lot of guys found it a turn off or "inconvenient"" already strongly suggest.

Your statement comes from a selection bias. You are attribuiting chads' preferences to the preferences of the average man (who, for sure, isn't chad)

2020-12-10T19:23:16+00:00

I think the actual analysis for N count is relative. If a woman has 4 partners for example, some red pill guy will say that's great. When said red pill guys finds out that she got a train ran on her on college from 3 guys while she had a boyfriend she was already intimate with, well that just changed the whole dynamic. This is comparable to the girl who has had 10-15 partners and they were all or mostly boyfriends.

I don't think N count alone is enough to determine if a woman is slutty or not. Generally, slutty behavior comes out in non-sexual ways such as personality.

Personally, despite my particular red/black pill beliefs, I wouldn't mind a woman with a higher N count than mine. It's when she refuses to do things for me that she did with past partners is when it becomes an issue. I've seen this issue happening a lot, more so with men than women where their partners don't respect them or really love them and often times treat them worse than their previous partner. I think this has to do with the ease for a female to get into a relationship than a man and the man's behavior in the relationship. Having been a victim of this myself, I look back to my mindset back then and realize it could have been better.

moneygang4life · 2020-12-10T21:40:40+00:00

I didnt realize that i wanted a virgin partner til i was 24 before that i didnt care

401kisfun · 2020-12-10T22:53:09+00:00

OLD very very rarely do women reply at all. That’s why it’s not real. You don’t even get rejected.

hail_galaxar · 2020-12-10T23:31:47+00:00

I’ve dated both kinds of guys. Most don’t care about my lack of experience and some almost had a weird fetish type obsession with it. I met a guy that I was pretty damn compatible with, independence, ambition, religious views, communication style wise, lots of chemistry, close looks match. We Would have made a great couple. He decided I wasn’t “sexual” enough for him because I make guys wait and I don’t do one night stands, (no thanks, keep your diseases to your self.) He also talked about how he would break up with someone over bad sex. He couldn’t tell me the definition of what bad sex was, but just felt it was a bad enough offense. To me that says “I can’t communicate my needs effectively.” My next boyfriend told me I was really freaky because I like to try new things. So you just can’t please everyone. This is just my personal opinion, but I think partners that are impatient sexually are usually impatient/selfish in other aspects of the relationship. They often have other unreasonable expectations. Criticizing your partners sexual performance can be a form of abuse. I have no desire to be with a guy that doesn’t have the patience to figure out how to make sex work for us as a couple. There is some kind of statistic I’ve heard that the more partners a woman has had, the more likely she is to cheat. How they could quantify something like that, and get honest results, I have no idea. I’ve personally noticed that guys that lie all the time, tend to be cheaters, so maybe the same is true with women. To me that’s a character issue, not a body count issue. The older I get, the less guys seem to care or even ask about it. You know what the best sex I’ve ever had was? When I was madly in love with someone. There is such an obsession with “sexual compatibility,” that it has somehow started to trump basic compatibility. Don’t date guys that are judge mental and you won’t have this issue. I only sleep with boyfriends and I think that’s pretty reasonable. I’d rather be good at pleasing one man instead of dozens. But that’s just me. I think we see a different story online because people are more honest when things are confidential.

Laytheblameonluck · 2020-12-10T18:39:12+00:00

Women lose desire for sex in LTRs more than men, after this, they split up, n-count represents failed relationships or a higher interest in other partners. Something like that.

alialahmad1997 · 2020-12-10T19:26:18+00:00

I don't know i adont support hookup culture for both pender but one possible answer is your age people in the early 20 are looking for immediate fun and live in the moment philosophy experienced women peovide that more People in late 20 and in 30 prerer to look for the future and stability so they prefer lower count. Same in women in early 20s prfer jocks and more attractive they do not carre that much about his career and in late 20s and 30s They prefer the nice guy with stable life ans established courir

2020-12-10T20:58:59+00:00

A non-virgin can be P&D without regrets, with a virgin it's a different game that only a psycho wouldn't care to P&D her.

moneygang4life · 2020-12-10T22:30:27+00:00

Idk i just want the virginity of the girl i want to spend my life with or it feels half hearted

Christian_Kong · 2020-12-10T22:37:48+00:00

It is likely your experience is due to you being shitty in the sack.

While I don't think most guys want a straight up virgin, few want a girl who has slept with a ton of guys either for a lot of reasons.

rubbooyuri · 2020-12-10T22:48:25+00:00

Because online thoughts are real feelings

Murdochsk · 2020-12-11T00:33:22+00:00

There is a studied correlation between cheating and n count in both sexes. Men who want a decent person to have a trusting relationship with usually prefer lower n count because they can trust them on avg more (as per science 😂) if they just want to sleep with you and not have a relationship they will tell you they prefer high counts

ChrysippusOfSoli · 2020-12-11T03:15:35+00:00

Your boyfriends were in it for the sex, so they wanted it to be good right away. A man looking for a life partner values a more reserved sort of woman.

ChiBron86 · 2020-12-11T03:44:26+00:00

Low n-count SHOULD be the goal if you want something serious. Can't expect loyalty from a girl who spreads her legs easily. That said, virginity should NOT be the goal if you are experienced yourself. Believe me, it will absolutely turn you off.

Take it from a guy who was recently married (arranged) to a virgin. There she was, sleeping next to me every night and just waiting to be drilled. She had a decent face, good body and by all means I should've been willing to fuck her. Or at least engage in basic foreplay. What I discovered though is that there is something very off-putting about someone who has never really done anything and doesn't have a clue either. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what it is. But when you go from having sex with experienced girls to a girl with none, the difference is palpable and I found it paralyzing. And it's not even about "oh my exes used to do this and that and she doesn't". I think it's something as simple as how the virgin-girl moves, her expressions and her general cluelessness.....it will turn you off. Or at least turned me off greatly. I pretty much never felt the desire to engage in anything sexual with her. AND WE LIVED TOGETHER. It was mortifying for both of us. It left her very confused and bitter. Needless to say, the marriage ended fast.

I had tried to be fuck-buddies with another virgin in my life pre-marriage. Same issue then too. A tangible lack of attraction/excitement on my part when in-person. The girl's lack of know-how and confidence was a genuine turn-off.

Bottom-line: Virgin may sound nice in principle, but it's not practical. Any guy with experience should pursue girls who have experience of their own. In general what I've noticed though is that I don't find myself attracted to virgins once I begin socializing with them anyway.

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2020-12-11T13:30:24+00:00

Foreigners and incels

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Rent_Is_Due_Renthog · 2020-12-11T01:15:17+00:00

why do my young boyfriends prefer casual sex to commitment when theyre not planning on getting married anytime soon

No clue tbqh fam

skystar86 · 2020-12-11T07:15:43+00:00

They don't say it IRL. I've only seen it on TV.

adrainshourim · 2020-12-11T08:42:43+00:00

My biggest problem with high body count is the amount of exes, the possibility of running into them, the fact that it means im nothing special, that of everybody can have her, im not special after, im just some guy, but its an insecurity thats all it is But like most things in life its a spectrum, i dont like virgins with mow sex drive, but I dont want a girl who had 75 guys in the span of a year Deep down i dont know and i feel stuff like body count shouldnt be asked, i never ask tbh, you kinda have an idea of where it is most of the time anyways But in my head the number is always gonna bother me to some degree, but again its just insecurities

msuarez0822 · 2020-12-11T11:31:01+00:00

If all men though like TRP and all women thought like FDS humans would have zero kids ever.

Why would you generalize 4 billion individuals using a subreddit that attracts a handful of very specifically-minded people?

mllhild · 2020-12-11T12:10:22+00:00

They are equating experience with skill and emooen towards sex. Which sadly isnt what happens. A person only gets a bit better until yhe improvement stops, as with every skill.

Furthermore we all have an observation bias due to the surrounding we live in. If I where to evaluate how many people are obese in my country, I would never be able to guess that it was a problem from the general population I see day by day.

As a last remark there is also that most online dialogs I saw were regarding lomg term partners in contrast some bf/gf you have for a few months.

If I find a hot guy or girl and they seem like a sex demon I totally want to date them, yet that loses a lot of importance when looking for a longer relationship

Throughawayman80808 · 2020-12-11T12:52:17+00:00

Reddit has a higher amount of leftwing people on it compared to reality which is a mix.

Karmanger · 2020-12-11T13:18:14+00:00

When I was dating it was a turn off for me, because back then I was also inexperienced and It would be like the blind leading the blind.

Also it was considerably harder to convince a virgin to have sex because they may see it as a bigger deal than it was and would make you work harder to even have the experience than you would with someone who already had sex.

My ex- that tried to baby trap me was a virgin and my college ex was too. Others may buy into the virgins are “holy” bs but experience taught me otherwise.

2020-12-11T13:19:20+00:00

Experience? Like a whore?

Nah, I'd rather have a virgin.

popthatpill · 2020-12-11T13:40:26+00:00

Basically, it's because in modern western culture, it's considered polite and good manners to support female promiscuity (and rude and bad manners to oppose it). So when you meet people IRL, they'll smile and nod and tell you that it's a good thing for women to be "experienced", and hence a bad thing to not be so. This is just politeness, though; everyone is disgusted by female promiscuity (although women are very favourably disposed toward male promiscuity). Online, where people are pseudonymous or anonymous, people's real opinions come out.

Another possibility is that men looking for marriage want women with low sexual experience (for reasons that have been thoroughly explained elsewhere), and these are the men you were reading online; men looking for hookups want experienced women who don't need any training or "breaking in", and these are the men you met in person.

2020-12-11T14:15:28+00:00

People are usually more honest online just saying

Comfortable-Echo-618 · 2020-12-11T15:10:28+00:00

Can't speak for all guys but personally, I'm very biased I will admit. If I'm having a casual fling or see the relationship as mostly or purely a sexual one I'd prefer my partner to have some type of experience. But if I'm looking to settle and have a family then, you know the rest.

blogging7890 · 2020-12-11T15:14:02+00:00

I thought it was the opposite lol but now that you say that I can kinda see that too, hmmm. It’s either cultural or code switching, HONESTLY it’s really both

Title	Why do men say they prefer experienced women IRL and not so much online?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	121
Comments	268
Date	December 10, 2020 5:20 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kajhq5/why_do_men_say_they_prefer_experienced_women_irl/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-say-they-prefer-experienced-women-irl.1193372 https://theredarchive.com/post/1193372

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