The sentiment “if you have an issue with all women, the problem isn’t all women - it’s you”

babazuki · 2023-06-20T12:30:28+00:00

All of the numbers show that there are fewer people in relationships, marriage is on the decline, birth rates are dropping, more women are choosing to remain single and you're saying it's the dating profile pictures?

Any time a man looks at the dating situation objectively, he gets accused of being bitter and hating women. You can't state facts anymore. The truth is that women have raised their standards, it is harder than it used to be to get dates, and there is more competition. The numbers are what they are.

It's pretty obvious that feminism and women's empowerment has had an effect on relationships and dating. And you can't say that without be accused of complaining. It's just stating a fact, women have changed. No one's saying they shouldn't have done that, but it's true that it has happened. Women had the equality movement, men didn't all get together and decide to take horrible profile pictures.

Men aren't pushing blame onto women when they state facts about human behavior. They're just trying to analyze and adapt.

WilliamWyattD · 2023-06-20T11:16:28+00:00

I am skeptical of any strong statements claiming they know for certain what is going on in modern gender dynamics and mating. The evidence is muddy IMO. I doubt anyone knows for certain.

It is definitely possible that women's standards have become artificially inflated past what they need to be, and beyond what is good for the women themselves or men.

It's also possible other things are happening. Or that nothing substantial has really changed. It is important to keep an open mind.

fifty_dollars · 2023-06-20T17:35:56+00:00

An issue with online dating is that most men can’t create a decent profile. I’m in a LTR but my friend will show me her Hinge and so many guys who actually could be good looking have awful profiles.

I know you want this to be true. Everyone wants it to be true. But it's just not for most of us. No amount of photo perfecting, bio editing, prompt charming is going to save most men on the apps.

I've done it. Asked female friends, posted profile reviews on reddit, watched youtube videos of women AND men critiquing profiles, tried all the conflicting advice every woman has given. I changed my wardrobe, I went out and got great photos, I tried all kinds of things with my bios and prompts. One female friend was positive we'd get results. The singular woman I've ever dated off an app literally could not believe the trouble I described until I showed her. But there are some unknown factors I lack that simply don't allow me to compete at this time.

On dating apps, the numbers are stacked against us.

username0127 · 2023-06-20T15:07:49+00:00

I think the main problem with those men is the fact when you have that level of derision and vitriol for women… yeah, no shit they aren’t going to be into you.

Y'all like to pick and choose when you want to use this women intuition for your convenience.

When men talk about his negative experiences with women it becomes "of course you don't have success with women. They can smell the desperation off you. You probably give off bad vibes."

When men accuse women of picking terrible men with obvious red flags it becomes "oh they were putting a facade so we didn't know. They were hiding their true intentions. "

The fact of the matter is "extreme hatred," or general misogyny isn't stopping men from getting women consistently. It's just that they are not good enough. Women are not dependent on men as before, which is a good thing, so standards are rising. There's plenty of misogynists getting women, so idk why most women think otherwise. People like to ignore red flags because of other factors like looks, money, etc.

ThorLives · 2023-06-21T01:04:03+00:00

An issue with online dating is that most men can’t create a decent profile. I’m in a LTR but my friend will show me her Hinge and so many guys who actually could be good looking have awful profiles.

Walk a mile in our shoes. Make a male profile. See for yourself firsthand. Yes, men who create bad profiles are shooting themselves in the foot. But just because a good profile gets better results does NOT mean that a good profile will get good results. Women have tried this experiment, and they were shocked at how bad their results were. Specifically: Few matches, a lot of matches won't respond when you message them, women will talk for a while and then refuse to meetup, women will suddenly unmatch you after talking for a bit, women making little effort so you have to carry the conversation and entertain her to keep her talking to you.

I have friends who have done this. My female friend helped a guy friend who was having bad luck on dating apps. She looked at his profile and said it looked good - he's a professional writer and has very good photographs. She couldn't understand what the problem was. She said it was depressing and confusing that he was having terrible results.

There was a YouTuber a while back who did the same experiment - he had a woman create a profile for him and she tried to get matches. She was shocked by how bad her results were. She started to feel bad and self conscious about few matches she was getting and how many women were ghosting her.

Part of the problem is that there are a lot more men active on the apps than women. But let's not pretend like "bad profiles" is the reason that men get terrible results in dating apps. The difference between men and women's results on dating apps is night and day. Women can have terrible profiles and get lots and lots of matches and attention. Men can have great profiles and get terrible results. You have to understand that women in dating apps are playing on easy mode and men on dating apps are playing on hard mode.

SiotRucks · 2023-06-21T04:51:45+00:00

Sorry I really don't want to hear your input because as a girl you literally have no fucking idea. Im so tired of hearing the same old shit out of girls mouths all day: get well dressed, shower, be nice, make a better profile; then there is the famous "personality detector" that women have which for some reason only works on unattractive guys...

Guess what: at the end of the day it's still 9 men to 1 women on dating apps, even if you get your profile from a 5 to a 7; congratulations! Now your match rate is 3% instead of 2%.

You have literally nothing to say that hasn't already been said to death

Sad_Top1743 · 2023-06-20T15:53:48+00:00

It’s more of “a growing population of women are trash for longterm commitment ” it’s a noticeable occurrence that’s happening frequently.

Even men who feel that way aren’t showing it. I’m the most blue pilled happy go lucky guy irl lol its simple awareness and social skill

Out of shape broke guys get out of shape broke chicks. Getting a mid gf is not a win.

666 traits help w dating insurmountably. It’s a zero sum game so winner takes all

Last paragraph is good, guys should take the incentive and improve themselves to get girls, that doesn’t negate what I said above though

Affectionate_Pen_623 · 2023-06-20T12:16:21+00:00

It actually makes perfect sense.

I've been looking for a supplementary role recently, its meant that I've been doing some interviewing to gauge the market. I'm a solid candidate, I tend to come off strongly and dont flounder too much during technical grilling. But I'm also a bit...dickish. I deadpan companies whenever they try to push hybrid working and I'm pretty brash about my salary. Pretty much all three roles I interviewed for rejected me for not being a "personality fit". Was the issue me? Well, yes. But my reasoning is simply that I've been more of a people pleaser before and tried to compromise on things like remote working, all it meant was I found myself with toxic managers and being pushed into attending offices more days than I would like. It would be fair to say I am the common problem in my interaction with these prospective companies, but then there is also justification for that.

Particular_Trade6308 · 2023-06-20T19:47:33+00:00

I think the main problem with those men is the fact when you have that level of derision and vitriol for women… yeah, no shit they aren’t going to be into you

We know that quite antisocial men (criminals, killers, misogynists, wifebeaters) often have love interests, and there is some evidence that men with these traits do better romantically than agreeable men, on average. So can you just substantiate your claim that “derision and vitriol for women” actually holds anyone back?

Anecdotally the guy I know who does the best with women (he’s 35 and dates blonde sorority-type women in their 20s) is a clear misogynist and refers to women by numerical ratings. “This 4 came up to me so I pretended she didn’t exist.” He’s tall, white, looks a bit like Don Draper, fairly rich

Spyro7x3 · 2023-06-21T05:17:39+00:00

Like other posters have said, dating, marriage, relationships, procreation, romance are all going downhill statistically. Can you address this aspect first?

Mrs_Drgree · 2023-06-20T12:45:57+00:00

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Workaholiconew · 2023-06-20T12:07:48+00:00

I mean, You know RP is all about self improvement... right? There could be a debate about if their reason to self improve is reasonable (sex), but not that they are focused in self improvement.

I dont think RP has an issue of not working in yourself and your state of mind. We all know the rage phase, lived it, and passed it. Those stuck on them end up in the blackpill hole.

Also, It is not like RP is about all women are low value, we have even an endearing name for the woman who have some self control and are not mentally ill, unicorns, we just say it is extremely rare... and lets be real, a research in 2016 said that 1 in 4 american women had mental issues. I expect to today to be 1 in 3. Today

It is extremely rare to find a woman you would want to have a relationship with, even if you are just vetting unreasonable women who are around your age and not in deep shit because of the aforementioned mental illness.

The fact is, the market is bent into making men suffer, and women who will not be burdens are rare and far between.

DrBoby · 2023-06-20T12:26:09+00:00

Who's the issue is an idiot question.

If I have an issue with all hornets (they sting), is it me the problem or the hornets ? Are hornets guilty of stinging me or am I guilty about not liking it ? It's idiot to spin a morality...

Throwing moral accusations around is useless and solves nothing. Hornet solution is smash them, destroy their nests around my house, and that's it, I don't give a damn if I'm the issue or if it's them.

2023-06-20T16:44:41+00:00

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amber_day · 2023-06-20T11:56:28+00:00

Disagree. People who say this often claim men should solve the problem. I think it’s get better it you give women less power. Involve them less in your live and don’t give them the benefit of the doubt professionally.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-06-20T20:39:51+00:00

fantastic post op absolutely correct

EverVigilant1 · 2023-06-20T12:25:58+00:00

It’s ridiculous when men here say women only want tall, rich, handsome guys, the 666 etc. Go outside. There are so many couples where the guy is out of shape, short, broke and he still has a gf. I’m not denying those traits help with dating, ofc they do, but they’re not the be all and end all.

You don't know what you're seeing there.

All you see is a guy with a girl.

You don't know:

--what his private life with her is like behind closed doors.

--how much sex he gets

--the quality of that sex

--her enthusiasm during that sex

--how happy he is

Appearances can be deceiving. Until you know all those things, you don't know anything. All you see is some guy trudging around with a girl.

DzejSiDi · 2023-06-20T14:58:13+00:00

I think the main problem with those men is the fact when you have that level of derision and vitriol for women… yeah, no shit they aren’t going to be into you.

Wrong. Your attitude is not a currency here, your perceived SMV is. Of course, obnoxious attitude can be a turn off or a deal breaker for many women, but still this is not a main factor. Same when I go to a BMW salon, doesnt matter what I think about this brand or BMW drivers, it matters if I have $$ or not. Rapper with "bitches ain't shiet" attitude will slay WAY more than average Joe busy respecting women.

A few years ago I was one of those “all the men I date are trash” girls (I was 18-20 so go easy on me) and it wasn’t until I actually worked on myself and my mindset that I met someone wonderful. Luck and chance play a huge role, but if I’d met him while I was in my old state of mind, it wouldn’t have worked out.

...your judgement could be 100% spot on, if your choises were bad enough. Overall this is a valid point, but of course community is aware about it (at least should be).

believing that your misfortune is everyone’s fault but yours

NO manosphere community believes that (including incels) besides ignorant critics raising this point over and over again due to their own delusions.

Quote from the title is technically true, but fully accepting that isn't easy, for many different reasons.

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2023-06-20T19:18:22+00:00

I think the main problem with those men is the fact when you have that level of derision and vitriol for women… yeah, no shit they aren’t going to be into you.

Here is where I am going to disagree but will concede there are indeed plenty of men out there that are single because they're openly hateful about women and no woman with two brain cells to rub together is going to date/marry/have kids with someone like this. It's like a pregnant Zebra cuddling up with a clan of Hyenas that haven't eaten in two weeks, you know the outcome is going to be horrific in more ways than one.

However, there are indeed women who gravitate towards these men because in their minds this is how men should act and this is how women should be treated. Sometimes these delightful people find each other, and they do the rest of us a favor, and stay together until the bitter end. Some of these women grew up in cultures where certain behavior is preached as being inherently good in a man and a sign of masculinity and good character, some follow religious doctrines that preach that certain behaviors in men are a sign of godliness and divine leadership, and some people have very traumatic backgrounds and don't know what a healthy relationship is so they hope that the people who hate them will maybe just maybe one day love them. Then there's people who are just fucking stupid and will consistently do the same thing again and again expecting a different outcome.

Happy_Nuclear_End · 2023-06-20T12:26:03+00:00

JP don't have a single inch of experience dating in 2023, any opinions he have on dating affairs is pretty much useless.

If tomorrow every single men become a millionaire body builder with the face of a actor women would just up the bar and only choose billionaire Mr Olympia, it's a fools errands where the bar is always moved upper and upper.

Men should just stop supporting a society he don't benefits from and let things accommodate, or even better, move to where he's appreciated.

saraimarsena · 2023-06-20T11:11:11+00:00

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LaloTwins · 2023-06-20T17:18:18+00:00

You don’t know what RP is

Stopped reading

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-06-20T23:27:42+00:00

JP is falling out of favor with RPers who originally liked some of his traditional views on gender roles because he holds men accountable and they don’t like that. Perfect example.

I would say it’s very easy for a good person to make a mistake and end up in a bad situation, sometimes multiple times. That said, at some point, yes, the common denominator is you.

interesting-mug · 2023-06-21T01:07:45+00:00

Absolutely. People are individuals, and just as you wouldn’t want to be painted with a broad brush and assumed to have the worst stereotypical behavior of your in-group, you shouldn’t do it to other people. That said, some stereotypes exist for a reason, some behaviors are more common among certain groups. But applying that thought process to an individual or assuming a group is a monolith will lead to your life being smaller and less fun.

Flash_4_Crab · 2023-06-21T01:25:41+00:00

You seem to be under the impression RP men have trouble finding women that want to be around them. You'd be wrong. Most RP dudes have an easy time finding women that want to be around them, what we can often struggle with is finding girls that are worth being around.

Modern society has convinced many women to have absurd standards. So for women all you really have to do is drop those absurd standards and you'll find someone. It's not really the same for men, because men don't have those delusional standards to begin with. Men have a lack of opportunities with GOOD(key word) women.

Epiphanic_Eros · 2023-06-20T14:43:33+00:00

This is one of the first sensible things I’ve read on this sub

Green-Quantity1032 · 2023-06-20T20:14:37+00:00

What if they believe all women are angels but they themselves are ugly and short?

cromulent_weasel · 2023-06-20T23:21:56+00:00

I think the problem with people talking about 'all women' and also using phrases like 'hypergamous' or whatever, is that it's all BS. Women aren't a monolithic org.

Just like the 'all men' type bitching, up to and including stuff like 'toxic masculinity'.

Both ideologies are tilting at straw men.

I think the main problem with those men is the fact when you have that level of derision and vitriol for women… yeah, no shit they aren’t going to be into you.

Yep. Even if the things you are hyperfocussing on are justified, wallowing in that corrodes your soul.

People need to read Philippians 4:8 more.

Active-Razzmatazz-86 · 2023-06-20T10:59:19+00:00

There are so many couples where the guy is out of shape, short, broke and he still has a gf. I’m not denying those traits help with dating, ofc they do, but they’re not the be all and end all.

I just have one question.Whether those guys were pickup as first options or after women situationships fwb hoe phases were over .I know plenty of couples like that and women are cheating on those guys so.. and you are a women .Ltr ,getting love etc will come naturally to you

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_H_a_c_k_e_r_ · 2023-06-20T15:33:31+00:00

Not all women, just western women.

LotBuilder · 2023-06-20T17:36:49+00:00

It can be both. Women in general can be picky, entitled and delusional and the man can also be the problem if he is making zero effort to meet the standard and has an issue with ALL women. What women want and what the end up with are two different things.

Wrong-Sky-5159 · 2023-06-26T10:27:14+00:00

If you are the only single dude in college, this makes sense... But if 99% of men are single except for 1%

This is exaggerated, just making a point

You are not the problem... In fact you define 'normal' if you find yourself in a group that's 51%+

Title	The sentiment “if you have an issue with all women, the problem isn’t all women - it’s you”
Author	amber_day
Upvotes	73
Comments	272
Date	June 20, 2023 10:52 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14e7v27/the_sentiment_if_you_have_an_issue_with_all_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-sentiment-if-you-have-an-issue-with-all-women.1223120 https://theredarchive.com/post/1223120

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