Men over-estimate their attractiveness?

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-09-09T13:41:36+00:00

I think men are more likely to truly believe they are average when they’re below average or slightly above average when they’re average. Women are more likely to say “I’m a 10!” defensively but overall tend to have a poorer self-perception when it comes down to it. This is why you see a difference between this study for example, and people asking random women on the street.

I would guess this is because our society is very focused on women’s looks, so women are made to know where they stand very early in life, yet also pressured to live up to an ideal of beauty. This creates a fractured self-perception that feels ugly but desperately wants to feel beautiful. Other people feed it by sometimes criticizing the average woman’s looks to bring her down, and sometimes telling her she is beautiful to make her happy. So she wants to believe the compliments but inside feels deeply inadequate and insecure.

Men’s looks are given less attention in society, both negatively and positively. So they tend to think they’re about average unless they’re really ugly or handsome, and their own bias may add few points. Of course this isn’t true in all cases, men who lack social skills can start to think they must be hideous when they’re not, as we can see with incels. But overall, men’s self-image tends to be more stable than women’s.

Safinated · 2023-09-09T13:54:05+00:00

It makes biological sense. You miss all the shots you don’t take

And explains why men think the stripper is into them

thetruthishere_ · 2023-09-09T11:45:37+00:00

In my experience as an escort yes as well as many escorts, so much so its a thing with our jobs.

Any man that claimed he was good looking/fit was barley average/dad bod/just skinny.

The good looking/fit men never mention their looks or fitness.

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2023-09-09T12:12:18+00:00

Well, I've never met a short fat guy who was claiming he was hot shit. I've met quite a few women of similar size claiming they were hot shit. Purely anecdotal though.

baiser_vole · 2023-09-09T11:18:40+00:00

I think a lot of women who are quite vocal online are coping or actually delusional, and those are the women some PPD men often hyper focus on. I agree that these women do in fact exist.

If men knew their leagues very well, there would not be such a discrepancy in the men that either approach me or confess their feelings towards me.

nonplussedminus · 2023-09-09T12:35:04+00:00

Is this that confidence that people keep talking about?

festival-papi · 2023-09-09T13:21:58+00:00

"Be confident" tho, right?

Pathosgrim · 2023-09-09T12:40:02+00:00

Sounds like confidence. Wait... What happened to the "Be confident" crowd?

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-09-09T15:47:57+00:00

True to life? I've known fat guys who are delusional about how good they look.

But overall I've mostly known a lot of shy and timid guys with less self confidence, and a guy with body dysmorphia who was actually kind of annoying.

Actually confident guys I know are usually above average in looks. They try not to reveal to other people they think they are hot shit though.

It's pretty much the same way with women I know. The overweight ones are either delusional or have abysmal self image, everyone else stays in their lane.

Emergency_Ad_6954 · 2023-09-09T16:05:17+00:00

Everytime I watch a interview girls almost always rate themselves a 10 and men will rate themselves between 5-8. Seems like from what I see women are the ones who are more likely to inflate their attractiveness

Hoopy223 · 2023-09-09T14:58:06+00:00

Men are told to be confident.

Confident Men will think they look “good” even if they don’t lol.

Also women are rough when it comes to judging men solely based on looks (which is who is doing the rating obviously). They will pick guys apart on eyebrows, his nose, his hands, smile, how he walks, clothing color choices, etc.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2023-09-09T16:55:58+00:00

The Psychology Today article states that men overestimate their own attractiveness. Then they mention this.

The researchers also examined whether participants’ ratings of others' level of attractiveness depended on their own level of self-perceived attractiveness. They found that it did, but only for men. Men who rated themselves as more attractive were more likely to rate others (both women and men) as more attractive.

Then they restate that it's all about men overrating themselves.

But... isn't that an important point? That men overrate everybody? The implications are completely different in this case.

cromulent_weasel · 2023-09-09T19:08:35+00:00

Dating isn't about being appealing to EVERY person. It's about being appealing to ONE person who also appeals to you.

If there are ten women who respectively rate you 2, 3, 4, 4, 6, 6, 7, 8. And the 8 likes you and you like her back, is your score 5 or 8? Because to me that's an 8.

Who cares what a group of people you're NOT is a relationship with think?

Proudvow · 2023-09-09T21:43:50+00:00

According to the first study, men are more likely to rate themselves a more attractive than others rate them

But who's to say the others aren't underrating them, instead? OLD studies show women think 80% of men are below average, which is mathematically unlikely in reality. And if the gender that's actually mostly attracted to men rates them so poorly, of course other dudes are going to rate each other even worse.

But regardless, even if the thread title is true, it's irrelevant since men's view of their attractiveness isn't stopping them from getting with lower end women. The reason women's self-perception is criticized is because it actually raises their standards. And the study even says:

over-confidence is “beneficial for men’s self-worth and body satisfaction”.

If a man actually lived by how women view him physically, instead of how he views himself, he'd never approach women at all and would die a eunuch.

Thatguyknowswhatsup · 2023-09-10T21:39:03+00:00

I suggest the OP watch whatever on youtube and hear all the delusional women rate themselves as 10's because "that's how I see myself". The delusion is how society sees you not yourself. Add in the delusion of body positivity and women wonder why they can't find a man?

DecisionPlastic9740 · 2023-09-09T11:29:11+00:00

My experience is the complete opposite

ComfortableOk5003 · 2023-09-09T12:30:20+00:00

This may be true but you also have to take into account how women think majority of men are not attractive to begin with

babazuki · 2023-09-09T14:30:11+00:00

This study is a joke. Just look at the charts on pg 7 and 8.

They just picked a trend they wanted to report and placed it on set of random data points.

There's no trend to be created from the data they gathered. It's arbitrary.

SkylineCrash · 2023-09-09T12:30:42+00:00

testosterone inherently makes you more confident
men dont wear makeup and when taking that into consideration, many men think they look better than the average woman who does wear makeup

UneastAji · 2023-09-09T14:14:00+00:00

Last time I checked, studies suggested men were better at guessing objective attractiveness of both men, women, or themselves, but would sightly overrate everyone. Women would underrated everyone including themselves by a long shot.

But news article somehow cherry picked that to claim men were narcissistic.

As for my personal life experience, men are clearly more objective. I can't count how often men were capable to know which man was the chad of the group, and how often women would neg this man when asked. And then, all had a crush on him anyway. Then, women would always think the girl with the man jaw or the fat body was the most attractive.

Eschew_Sloth-232 · 2023-09-09T12:17:24+00:00

I think many men build themselves up with a false bravado but you can tell they don't even believe it. True confidence is rare. Most men I know of all backgrounds have average to below average self esteem and don't think they deserve much. I also suspect late millennial and gen z men are the least confident generation of men, how can we not be unless you are some trending rich pretty boy you are considered complete trash and to be tolerated at best.

I've detached myself from material things. I stopped wearing watches, caring about cars, nice clothes etc because I am not fooling anyone with these lame attempts at salvaging some self worth when your fate was sealed when you chose the wrong parents.

Aafan_Barbarro · 2023-09-09T13:38:22+00:00

I rate myself 3/10. 1 point for being tall, 1 point for not being obese and 1 for the rest. Well, maybe I still overestimate myself.

SaltyThunderNuggets · 2023-09-09T11:48:50+00:00

Men who rated themselves as more attractive were more likely to rate others (both women and men) as more attractive.

This part definitely rings true. Most of the men who complain that women think they are hotter than they are probably have very low self-esteem and low self-image. Not to say that there aren't some women who overrate their appearance as well

Both these studies basically reach the same conclusion that over-confidence is beneficial to men

Kosilica457 · 2023-09-09T14:04:55+00:00

Perhaps, but height is the ultimate limiting factor for men.

I honeslty think no matter how attractive the man's face, style or personality is he will have very little to no success if he is short

KaptainBrix · 2023-09-09T16:44:22+00:00

I don't know what that study is all about.

But in my personal experience, and from what I've witnessed. Attractive men never know they are actually attractive, and above average men live their whole lives believing they are just average.

Think about it logically, men almost never receive compliments about their looks, women simply do not compliment men on their looks except very rarely and only when the man is ridiculously attractive, and even then women are very careful about complimenting him. and men don't compliment each other on their looks simply because that's not what most men do, we might compliment each other on our fitness, but never about facial attractiveness.

Shit some women go out of their way to make men feel ugly even when they are attractive, they don't say it directly but in a passive aggressive way.

That's why most men that identify as incels are oftentimes average and below average.

Solopist112 · 2023-09-09T22:30:24+00:00

Most people over-estimate their attractiveness. Remember: 5 is average.

BigZaddyZ3 · 2023-09-09T11:32:46+00:00

Yes, it’s true. And it’s mostly because of all that bluepill “just be confident/looks don’t matter for men🤓” bullshit most likely…

I think understanding (and accepting) this is part of understanding the Redpill in my opinion. Realizing that women have a somewhat strict criteria for what they actually find physically attractive and that most guys are no where near it is the one of the first Redpills that any Redpiller will ever take.

But the purpose of this concept isn’t supposed to be for men to sulk and whine about it. It’s supposed to make men humble themselves and put in the work needed to actually become attractive to women for real. You know what I mean?

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-09-09T11:35:29+00:00

Absolutely not true. Most men I've met suffer under delusions of inadequacy, and that's way more common then suffering from delusions of grandeur.

Alhambra-squatch · 2023-09-09T12:45:33+00:00

I do. I think I’m a “3” on the SMV scale, then I look in the mirror each morning and I’m like, “You must be joking. You’re hideous. Look how disgusting you are. Your fat, bloated, disgusting, poor, going no where in life, boring, and did I mention disgusting? You can’t even use your and you’re correctly. Gtfo out of my bathroom and go lay down and rot. They don’t even have a number below “0” for you ugly piece of shit. I can’t even believe the cat looks at you.”

Wolvengirla88 · 2023-09-09T14:55:43+00:00

People who think being skinny is the most important measure of attractiveness are zonked. I’m not thin or fit, and people literally stare at me and hit on me basically everywhere I go because I look proportional and I’m curvy and cute and I know how to dress. It’s happened since I was a kid. Some people just have it.

MxMaster9907 · 2023-09-09T20:57:52+00:00

It is absolutely true and this is why so many men feel entitled to be with beautiful women.

YveisGrey · 2023-09-10T13:29:25+00:00

Of course they do thats why when they get rejected their reaction is mostly anger and then shaming women for having “too high standards”. Lol they can’t even fathom that they just aren’t that attractive

SlowEffective8146 · 2023-09-09T11:48:59+00:00

Because women rate men on a pareto curve, where any man sub8 is below average and only 8-9-10s are even noticeable.

The only way to account for this is to assign men numbers based on how much actual attention they get from women (which is what dating apps do) and generally this how men rate themselves in real life. Based on female attention.

Men who get no female attention KNOW they are lncels. Men who are above average KNOW they are above average because of attention from women.

Veloci-Tractor · 2023-09-09T18:15:57+00:00

hubris and lack of self awareness are cornerstones of masculinity

Swordfromthecement · 2023-09-10T06:02:21+00:00

I think one thing chronically online people get right is that most men are less physically attractive than the think they are.

I also believe that a lot of men think having a good personality or a good job automatically equals having a physicality attractive trait and that’s generally not true.

Hosj_Karp · 2023-09-11T07:31:13+00:00

Of course. The redpill line that women are more emotional and delusional than men isn't remotely true. The majority of people of both genders are irrationally narcissistic.

Rogue5454 · 2023-09-10T04:49:13+00:00

Of course they do. It’s because they’ve been taught since boys the “world is their oyster” just because they’re “men.”

It’s a sense of entitlement that manifests delusions lol.

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weirdgroovynerd · 2023-09-09T12:23:44+00:00

Maybe the rest of you guys do this, but as for myself...

...I'm totes rizzalicious.

Ashamed_Artichoke_26 · 2023-09-09T14:06:42+00:00

Did the study control for the fact that women would have judged the men the rated more harshly so would have resulted in a comparatively lower "actual" attractiveness rating for the men v the women?

No_Ask_2241 · 2023-09-09T17:20:44+00:00

26% of men are not dating because they think no one would want them as compared to 12% of women

Cheap-Resource-114 · 2023-09-09T17:37:14+00:00

It’s easier for men to understand where they are in the casual sex market because women tend to have a clear set of preferences for short term flings (to name a few - muscular, tall, tanned skin, tattoos, extrovert, large thick penis). The more of those a guy has, the easier casual sex is to obtain.

However in the relationship market it’s much harder for guys to work out where they stand because there are so many other factors at play and it depends what the woman values. Does she prioritise your career success? How fun you are? Your social status in a particular group? Your family? How well you suit her family’s preferences? Etc

For women it’s the opposite.

In the sex market it’s very difficult to understand where they stand. Ugly girls can sleep with hot guys and so this can lead them to overestimating their own value.

In the relationship market it’s much easier for women to know where they stand. Are the hot guys that sleep with them committing to them? Google most actor/sport-star wives and it’s usually an average height, slim white girl with dark hair and a pretty face with a highly feminine personality. There’s very little divergence. The closer you look to that as a female the higher your value in the relationship market.

The only caveat to this is that most women don’t understand the difference between the two markets and that leads to lots of confusion and head scratching as to why these guys keep pumping and dumping them.

Thankfully guys have RP which teaches them about the two markets.

CryptoThroway8205 · 2023-09-09T22:10:50+00:00

Yeah it's possible guys overrate their attractiveness.

The rateme subs are all trash. There's one sub that rates Steven Yeun a 5 called like truerateme and you never see girls 8 or above unless a mod rates them that first. Several celebs in their 20s and and 30s are like 7 or lower. And people get used to only seeing pretty individuals. But there is an anonymous website that's supposed to give ratings. I've been wanting to put my photos in there. And I recommend everyone else do the same.

I like looking at myself in the mirror and flex a lot and I think men generally are more comfortable with their bodies.

Is this sometimes causing issues? Yes. Lot of fat ugly men think they deserve better.

Yomzie_hun · 2023-09-10T04:15:29+00:00

Well just some men i have come across, acted like that. For example, Bro A the "Nice Guy". He was an unserious person with no rizz and relentless. If you reject him nicely, he will keep trying till you are mean then he will badmouth you. Bro was a zero to every girl in Uni and yet thought he was a ten. He had his homies rizz girls to actually attend his party then got mad, he did not get any.

SoulBadguy0408 · 2023-09-10T22:23:34+00:00

I feel like I know pretty damn well I'm a 3 at best but I can see how a lot of men have that ego that makes them rate themselves better even if women disagree and have different standards than men on men's looks

some_clickhead · 2023-09-12T03:17:47+00:00

My theory is that the vast majority of men are aware that being more confident around women makes you more attractive.

Your confidence is in large part influenced by your self image. Therefore in an attempt to make themselves more confident, most men convince themselves that they are more attractive than they really are.

Title	Men over-estimate their attractiveness?
Author	MidoriEgg
Upvotes	23
Comments	221
Date	September 9, 2023 11:08 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16e3197/men_overestimate_their_attractiveness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-over-estimate-their-attractiveness.1231305 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231305

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