Sex is not a need

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-02-21T12:01:33+00:00

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konfusedfish · 2024-02-21T05:39:22+00:00

Sex is not a need like food, water etc. but the desire for physical intimacy and socialization is needed. So yes you won’t die without it, but mentally, socially, and physically you may start to suffer as a result.

Comprehensive-Bed35 · 2024-02-21T05:35:47+00:00

I have seen too far of a consistency of sexless men ending up mentally, and emotionally unstable, to get behind the idea that men do not need sexual intimacy in order to live a happy and fulfilling life.

They do not need sex as in the way they need food, water, and air, but some needs are not needs for survival, but instead needs for mental/emotional sanity. Similar to the way people need love: if they do not receive love, they can still survive, but they will probably become pretty fucked up from never being loved by another.

silver_letter_opener · 2024-02-21T06:29:47+00:00

maybe i'm weird for this, but i agree? i would enjoy sex or a relationship, but i have friends in my life, so my social need is met.

i think people only feel the need to have sex because you're expected to if you want to be considered "successful" and you're weird if you don't.

Critical_Corner_1859 · 2024-02-21T06:29:46+00:00

Freedom and sunlight are not needs either.

Guess what happens when you lock someone in a room without windows, despite receiving food, having where to shit and clean their own body, and some books.

They go batshit insane. Sex and relationships are a basic need. Human touch is a basic psychological need. Being understood and accepted are psychological needs too.

Sex and relationships do bring happiness. Happily partnered people live more, are less prone to heart disease, have way lower rates of suicide, depression and anxiety.

I adore my partner and life simply wouldn't be the same without her. We have a pretty active sex life, and when we don't we are visibly less at peace, more anxious and stressed...

We need to stop demonizing sex. It's perfectly healthy and natural to want and to need sex.

purplish_possum · 2024-02-21T06:34:38+00:00

but if we dont get it, nothing happens

LOL! Other than being "miserable, lonely, and depressed".

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4t3kQf3lWBs

CasseroleTruck · 2024-02-21T07:41:09+00:00

Honest question for smart science people. So is the urge to masturbate/ejaculate for men not a thing then? A man doesn't necessarily need another person there but sexual relief reduces stress, makes him relaxed again, more focused and at ease. There are times where if I don't bust a nut - driven by an actual tension-based feedback loop in the organs and/or psychological buildup - I can't think about anything else really. I'm also not addicted to sex, sexual thoughts, or porn. Once it's done it's onto routine and productive things until it's time again.

I'm not implying that men are entitled to have these needs met by other people/women, but to say it's not a need just bc we won't physically die without it like food of water is ridiculous before we even get into that psych 101 hierarchy of needs jazz.

GlobeUnited · 2024-02-21T05:35:19+00:00

If sex is not available to you, you can use that time and energy to do other things that are equally or more worthwhile. You shouldn't fret about not having sex.

Geselshaft · 2024-02-21T05:33:29+00:00

I think a bg problem is religion with its prudish view of sex and anti-masturbation.

Perhaps if hate filled religions didn’t view humans as inherently evil they would have healthier people.

Zabadoodude · 2024-02-21T05:47:57+00:00

People are different. It's more important for some than for others. For most people sexual intimacy is more than just a pleasant sensation for a few minutes. Too many people that don't feel a strong need for it act like they're morally superior because of it.

I've definitely seen a correlation between a lack of romantic, sexual relationships and poor mental health, though

Planthoe30 · 2024-02-21T06:48:10+00:00

Nah I feel like if I had to experience never being desired I’d be pretty fucked up mentally and I don’t watch tv. I don’t find sex that important but never having it would absolutely escalate my insecurities.. I more so value a romantic connection not having that would be miserable, not having that plus not having sex would be much worse.

StoisticStruggle · 2024-02-21T06:18:04+00:00

All I'm gonna say, us asexual folk will be just another subreddit to the left when you realize you belong with us, lol.

Expensive-Tea455 · 2024-02-21T09:45:21+00:00

Exactly lol It’s funny how all the guys in here act like they need sex so badly, but then will shame women for not being virgins in the same breath 🙃

optimuscrymez · 2024-02-21T05:59:07+00:00

Yeah bro the base drive of all sex based lifeforms isn't important.

Great analysis.

SIeight_of_Hand · 2024-02-21T06:45:33+00:00

This post makes honestly.. no sense.

Nobody in their 20's cares about this tbh.

BigBrilla · 2024-02-21T06:47:16+00:00

100%.

I have an addictive personality so obviously sex was another why to indulge in escapism and make myself feel good. (Im a male)

I’ve had enough sex to realise it’s not the determining factor in a lifelong relationship and doesn’t make the future mother of my children any more capable of being a good mother just because they can suck and fuck like a pornstar, if anything I’d rather them be very very bad at it.

gopher_glitz · 2024-02-21T09:12:04+00:00

Whenever a woman talks about wanting children, especially if she's infertile I just remind her that having children isn't a need. You won't die if you never have kids.

Horned-Beast · 2024-02-21T06:07:31+00:00

youve had sex once???@! once??? and you got it all figured out. right?

Post again after your gonads actually drop into their sack and you grow chest hair.

Agianttruckofpizza · 2024-02-21T05:39:06+00:00

In what way is this post productive?

CringeEating · 2024-02-21T06:14:03+00:00

Why even get into relationships then

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-02-21T06:14:44+00:00

It is not about sex, it is very easy to masturbate or go to a prostitute, it is about failure of men to find a relationship.

Silver_Past2313 · 2024-02-21T08:28:12+00:00

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MikeArrow · 2024-02-21T05:25:30+00:00

You don't know what you're talking about.

corvus_corax_19 · 2024-02-21T06:08:18+00:00

There's a reason why sex is next to food in that hyarchy of needs thing.

mantasVid · 2024-02-21T05:46:44+00:00

What are you doing on this subreddit when there are others about pokemons and beyblades and other interesting stuff?

SuitableStart · 2024-02-21T06:30:10+00:00

All I have to say is that most people like you in my experience are hyper obsessed with money and power for its own sake. Because the life force has to go somewhere and if its not sex then its the dollar. Don't talk about spiritual pursuits when it's mostly just another form of tradition and power. Do you know how much wealth the Vatican has?

At least with healthy sex there is mutual pleasure between two people. With money oftentimes its closer to r3pe when it comes to the net effect on human happiness.

Gari_305 · 2024-02-21T07:03:13+00:00

Animals breed frequently so to does mankind we just have the technology of birth control.

Men and women need sex, it's a biological function.

discoparrot375 · 2024-02-21T07:19:53+00:00

THANK YOU!!! People don’t NEED sex. People want it, and people need to socialize and have positive interactions with others, and sexual feelings are an inevitable part of life for most people that shouldn’t be shamed, but all of these things can be true and valid without acting like people must meet some kind of sex quota or they will die.

throwawaytanuki76 · 2024-02-21T06:01:17+00:00

The need for guys to have sex is driven by societal and peer pressure. But just because it's bullshit doesn't mean it's not real and doesn't cause real tangible pain. A lot of guys still need to experience sex in the first place in order to be convinced they don't really want it that much - until then it's just a big unknown for them that will bog them down.

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Obvious-Produce2720 · 2024-02-21T06:46:38+00:00

Uuummm as a woman i completely disagree. The mental, emotional, and physical benefits are amazing. Especially when in a Consistent stable long term relationship. Sssooo idk wht the heck youve been told, but i can find a few videos explaining that.

LoopyPro · 2024-02-21T06:47:38+00:00

It's a dishonest take to disregard the nuance where some needs can be more fundamental and essential than others. Need for intimacy not being a basic survival need doesn't mean that neglecting them has zero impact on a person's happiness.

With your logic, nothing aside from surviving should matter to you because your only goal is not to die.

littleboy91 · 2024-02-21T07:25:18+00:00

I think it is the same situation as "A person can survive locked up in an empty room, and given sufficient food, water and air. And nothing else."

obviousredflag · 2024-02-21T07:34:37+00:00

Yeah, that is like the most depressive teenager perspective on sex i have read in a long time.

Having sex is not living your life. There are a LOT of things that give more satisfaction and happiness than having sex.

Name the things you can do on a regular basis that give more satisfaction than sex.

MarauderSlayer44 · 2024-02-21T08:12:19+00:00

I disagree. There’s people who are on the edge of miserable and happy who aren’t having sex, and that one little boost could make it so they are definitely happy almost all the time, because the one thing in their life they don’t feel content with is their sex life. I would even say I’m one of these people, I recently started seeing someone casually and what happened since? Literally (yes, the literal definition of “literally”) every other person I know has said something like “hey you’ve been noticeably more giddy and uppity and happy lately, did you start seeing someone?”. So yea you won’t die, and it won’t cure depression, but it’ll definitely help, and to put it in simple numerical form, “it won’t bring you from a 1 to a 8 or 9, but it’ll bring you from a 5 to a 6, and the difference between 5 and 6 can be more significant than you’d think”.
Otherwise I propose everyone just goes with the bare minimum because you won’t actually die, but this is PPD where we just endlessly justify keeping miserable people as miserable as possible and telling them they have to be okay with that or else “the beatings will continue until morale improves.”

zoxzoxzo · 2024-02-21T08:46:32+00:00

I would categorize sex as a secondary need - primary ones being of course food, water, air. Your survival doesn't depend on it, but your mental wellbeing does. Same with socializing, you can stay alone your whole life but it will have a severe impact on your mental health.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-02-21T09:29:06+00:00

Realized this. Personal freedom is not a need. Is something the body ask us to search for, yes, but if we dont get it, nothing happens

DzejSiDi · 2024-02-21T09:36:18+00:00

Today on PPD: Fellow man wants to revolutionise psychology/biology, because he has no idea what he's talking about.

Next week: need of belonging is not a need, you won't die when you're lonely, there, I solved loneliness epidemic.

Top_Message_5194 · 2024-02-21T10:04:39+00:00

I was thinking about this for the last few days actually

eyewave · 2024-02-21T11:06:28+00:00

But muh genes 🥵

edgyny · 2024-02-21T11:40:57+00:00

"Sex is a need" comes from Maslow's hierarchy where "need" has a very specific definition. Maslow's hierarchy is a psychological theory about human motivation, not physiology or biochemistry so you have to understand what is meant. In Maslow's theory lower needs interrupt higher behaviors.

For example you are reading a book and suddenly you feel the need to pee. You can ignore it, and soldier on reading but the physical stimulus urging you to go pee will continue and intensity. Eventually you will stop reading the book and go take a pee (or piss yourself I guess). The point of the hierarchy is that needing to pee motivated you to go pee. The origin of the motivation is a physical stimulus produced by your body organ that motivates with specific sensory stimuli in order for the organ to service a functional need. Sex organs are the same. They get horny or however you want to describe the stimulus they send that interrupts your motivation to do other things.

Now to be extremely clear: "sex is a need" does not mean intercourse. I'm a guy so I can only relate to male "sex need" and generally you can just masturbate to satisfy the male sex organs. But I have also experienced my wife being in--I dunno I'll just steal the "baby rabies" term--and I dunno whether masturbation would satisfy that.

But the overall point is these low level needs are about organs interrupting your planned behaviors and imposing motivations.

Now getting back to food and water and breathing. They are no different. You actually will not die if you ignore a hunger pang or thirst. You can hold your breath and feel the sensation your lungs send to motivate you to breathe. Sex is no different.

People just need to have ways to service sexual needs. It does get complex because society imposes morality on sexual relief and teaches us to sublimate that need to motivate behaviors that serve societies purposes.

desert_fly · 2024-02-21T11:47:48+00:00

I think it's a good idea for anyone to do some introspection WHY they want sex. That will be very helpful, especially when in a relationship/looking for a compatible partner.

People want sex for all different reasons: physical pleasure, emotional connection, validation (I'm desirable/loveable/a good lover), status, stress release, boredom, as an act of service, peer pressure...

I think it's advisable to do some self reflection which of these motivations are at play and if they're actually good for you.

The dead bedroom subs e.g. seem to be full of people with little self esteem. They need sex to feel validated, otherwise they're convinced to be unattractive and unlovable. But they also don't leave their sexless relationships as they seem to unconsciously crave the confirmation that they're unlovable.

imaniimellz · 2024-02-21T11:11:57+00:00

But it’s on the Maslow hierarchy of needs.

Title	Sex is not a need
Author	sharedordaz
Upvotes	8
Comments	164
Date	February 21, 2024 5:23 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1aw41wg/sex_is_not_a_need/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/sex-is-not-a-need.1245990 https://theredarchive.com/post/1245990

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