What going to happen to the dating scene in 10 to 20 years?

PrimateOfGod · 2025-04-20T14:50:26+00:00

I'm a millenial parent and I see quite a shift in raising kids. In general we reduce screen time severly and we are lobbying for ban on smartphones at school, we fight for healthy lunches and we put a lot of effort on socializing and making kids well-rounded. It's a big change comparing to how ie. kids of my brother(gen-x) were raised - which was basically online without limits and consumption without limits. Imo gen z is a victim of internet and social media, these things were not well understood by their parents and no one knew it will be disaster to leave kids with that.

I anticipate more moderation and better dating life of gen alpha.

aslfingerspell · 2025-04-20T16:09:37+00:00

I think societies like South Korea or Japan are where it's going. On a surface level, people will continue to marry, have kids, date, and so on, but a shift will happen where it goes from something that's expected in life to something that's a kind of status symbol or exclusive life experience. The same way that the poorest countries can still have people with jobs, earn money, have thriving small businesses and even millionaires and billionaires, there will be people who say "What dating crisis? I met my wife on Tinder!"

However, there's a greater form of decay going on underneath the surface when a basic societal experience goes from being a staple to a luxury. There's no right to a McDonald's hamburger or movie ticket, but there's a very big difference in a society where you can grab a hot meal any time of day versus a society in which even McNuggets are considered "going out to eat" in terms of expenses. There's a very big difference between seeing a movie every week on impulse, versus going to the movies 1-3 times a year in a ruthlessly planned out trip. The reviews read, friends and family consulted, seats pre-purchased, all concessions planned out to avoid spending too much money.

In the future, I think "having sex" or "being in a relationship" is going to be less like "having a car" and more like "having a luxury car". However, the problem is that while humans have only been regularly driving cars for a few generations, we've always wanted love and sex in some form. Something that basic and desirable becoming a luxury is going to lead to a lot of decay.

I don't mean "decay" in some abstract sense of someone complaining that people don't read enough classical literature or philosophy podcasts, but decay in the sense of actual crime, mental health, physical health, and economic progress. It might not be directly related to loneliness in the clickbait headline "misogynist mass killer" sense, but single young men who feel directionless in life find other outlets. More addictions, more extreme political ideologies, more gangs, more grifts and scams, more violence against themselves or others, more mental illness that requires money to treat and makes people less productive members of society.

Those who say "Just make more friends!", with respect, imagine turning to their own husbands/wives, their own girlfriends/boyfriends, and dare to say "Sorry, I no longer love you or want to have sex ever again. Let's just be friends, because that's good enough and sex is not a right or need." Those who say "Go see a sex worker." can, likewise, dare to imagine looking at their wife of 10 years and saying before every date night "That'll be $300. Sex work is real work and there's nothing shameful about selling sex or paying for it." On the female side of things, I wonder how many progressive-speaking women would truly want to be paid by their husbands or boyfriends for date night that bluntly, even if it was all just glorified roleplay.

For all the supposed values of friendship, people are always going to have sex drives. For all the progressive rhetoric about "Sex work is work.", if sex work is work it's not sex, not in the way people mean and want it. Sex is a means to socially bond, and that cannot happen when one is just a client to a worker. Sex is a way of expressing and receiving love, and that can't happen with someone who sees you as "work". Sex is a means of validation, and that can't happen with someone who only cares if you have a valid credit card. "But some sex workers care about their clients, they're people too!" is a line of argument I've heard. I dare anyone who believes that to say they'd trade up a truly loving partner for an escort whose "caring" may be just another act you're paying for.

We can make our deflections, say sex isn't important, say that building a career is more important, say that there's more to life, but anyone who has ever been in a romantic or sexual relationship can tell you that's a level of intimacy you simply can't get from a best friend. Sex ain't bowling or board games. It is an irreplaceable biological instinct as basic as the desire to eat, and a society where most people can't achieve that is going to be one that is very miserable, even if you don't literally, directly die from loneliness or virginity.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2025-04-20T23:04:49+00:00

20 years is a long time when it comes to technological advancements. If AI continues to develop at its current rate than chances are we will be living in a world where VR sex will be completely indistinguishable from real sex. The only difference will be that every person will have access to their dream sexual partner simply by firing up a VR headset.

The ramifications of this will be massive as the vast majority of men will lose interest in pursuing not only relationships but even casual sex with the average woman. Who is going to be bother competing for the affections of a plain Jane when a virtual super model is always eager and available.

This will completely shift the current dating dynamic as average woman will no longer have any sexual hold over average men. If this coincides with the invention of artificial wombs then women will suddenly be surplus to requirements as sexual beings for the average man.

The out come of this will either be a good or terrible for society in general.

Taking a positive view on things and it’s possible we will enter a truly genderless future where men and woman will interact without the shackles of sex.

Taking a pessimistic view on things and men and woman will become completely segregated as it becomes clear that neither gender actually values the other outside the context sex.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2025-04-20T15:31:13+00:00

It's hard to predict what will happen in the future when there is no firm consensus on what is happening right now. Dating apps are a problem, but they have not necessarily proven entirely useless for everything but the top 10% of men. To the extent that there are negative trends in heterosexual pairing dynamics, it is far from clear what is gendered and what is not. The extent to which female sexual selectivity has changed, at scale, is also not clear.

I think female sexual selectivity was always higher, on a biological level, than is consistent with the highest historical pairing rates once pressures to pair are lessened. So I do expect that over the longer term we will see some rise in male sexual exclusion as a result of this selectivity being more free to manifest itself. However, as genders adapt, I am optimistic that some sort of equilibrium point is reached well below reaching a level of unpaired males that might be existentially dangerous. Society's may end up having to do some work to reach and maintain that equilibrium.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2025-04-21T04:49:21+00:00

Population decline is absolutely inevitable and every piece of evidence we have suggests its a near-automatic (and arguably evolved-and-innate) response to rising levels of wealth in a society. Poverty makes people breed more.

This is going to force a huge demographic and political reckoning. But it won't result in forced breeding. Rather, it will make it necessary for the State to downsize unless it wants to impoverish its society (which would run a risk of encouraging a popular revolt). Not to mention, actually cutting benefits is something that will ALSO be politically out-of-the-question, since older people will have a lot more voting power than younger people.

All of this, in my view, is going to be MUCH more significant than any changes to the relationship between the sexes.

I do think MGTOW or "MGTOW-in-effect" phenomena are going to become more widespread though. The cost-benefit analysis doesn't stack up well for the vast majority of heterosexual males that wish to date.

I do think this actually might, in the long run, actually pressure women to ditch infantilizing princess-femininity and start ACTUALLY embracing self-actualization, responsibility, maturity and agency. That would be objectively good for women and society in my view.

Shadowcat1606 · 2025-04-20T14:15:06+00:00

They think now men opting out of dating is bad? Wait how it'll be im 20 years.

Three words: AI Sex Dolls.

epicgamergamingtime · 2025-04-20T14:39:54+00:00

If there is no financial collapse then we will further trend towards a lookism society where mens beauty and entertainment factor is their entire value so plastic surgery will boom.

Good looking men and men who can afford plastic surgery will have their pick while most other men will live on the internet. Some ugly men will form roaming packs of thugs which will harass women though.

I hope that we can reach a world where we can make all men handsome, tall and lean though gene editing so they dont have to suffer as much.

If there is a financial collapse then the state will take control and heavily incentivise and moralize traditional family set ups. Which will make womens priorities shift so basically all men will be able to have a family.

G4M35 · 2025-04-20T16:52:58+00:00

Within 10 years "sugaring" will me more normalized, pervasive, and effectively replacing most of "dating" as we know it today.

And "sugaring" is great, everything is clear and on the table, and with "sugaring" everyone wins!

20 years? Welcome to the era of robot girlfriends, and - to a lesser degree - robot boyfriends.

Is there gonna be population decline ?

That has been predicted for a while now, and yes population decline is our future.

Do beauty standards continue to raise to impossible heights?

Yes.

Are men and women going to be more divided?

We are already, so nothing new there.

autistic_midwit · 2025-04-20T16:41:53+00:00

We will see a rise in prostitution and polyamory. Children born to single mothers will increase to 100%. The popoulation will collapse. There won't be enough tax slaves to support a top heavy givernment and a massive welfare state.

There will be a massive amount of disenfranchised and sexless men who will overthrow the existing society and institute a hyperpatriarchy like that of the handmaidens tale.

Main_Aside_3072 · 2025-04-20T18:04:04+00:00

If you're in the 10% of attractive men, things will be pretty good.

If you're a women, average men, ugly men, etc.. it will probably be more difficult.

In another words, just like every other social issue, unless you're in the top %, it will be difficult.

ArtifactFan65 · 2025-04-21T06:48:10+00:00

The top ten or twenty percent of men will have large harems and the rest of straight men will end up alone. Look at Japan to see the future trend.

Expat2023 · 2025-04-20T18:33:37+00:00

In 10 years we will have our loving sexbots, (think west world), with occasional VR sexual forays.

GrouchyActivity2476 · 2025-04-20T18:26:34+00:00

We're going to have WAAS - Wife as a service, monthly subscription

GridReXX · 2025-04-20T13:25:36+00:00

Men are going to end up doing unspeakable acts of violence. I’m not saying that to fear-monger. As a student of history, I say that because that’s typically what men end up doing when they aren’t happy and when their lack of happiness is related to lack of sex or money or “reverence he feels he’s entitled to.”

Outside of that I’d say the people who do want to partner will. They’ll have kids if they like. That society will then form around their mores.

As far as “population decline.” Eh. There are 8 billion people on the planet contributing to unsustainable amounts of feckless consumption and producing enormous amounts of toxic waste. A decline in some of these high-consumption areas will give the earth some room to breathe and heal. We should treat her better. She’s all we got. Space travel hasn’t identified a replacement yet lol

Edit: There’s a docu-fiction out called 2073. It’s kinda preachy, but otherwise a fair take. It’s predicting dystopian civilization collapse by that year. Not just because of gender wars. But it’s suggesting that if we stay on the trajectory of the current pathologically selfish-minded technocrat right wing populist extremism sweeping the globe then the 2073 depicted in the movie is inevitable.

BrainMarshal · 2025-04-21T06:28:31+00:00

Marriage contracts will emerge. 7 year renewals.

Substantial_Video560 · 2025-04-21T14:12:45+00:00

The rise of A.I. bots and VR porn. Everyone will then be able to have their sexual fantasies met by technology.

efficientaficionado · 2025-04-22T16:20:35+00:00

Equilibrium. All complex systems move toward equilibrium.

And what I mean by this is: Eventually women will realize that having all of these options and exercising them is spoiling their appetite for the men that would make for good husbands. Stuffing your face with sweets (casual hookups, situationships) might feel good in the moment, but in due time they will realize why boring healthy food (dating with the express purpose of finding a husband) is a way better long-term option.

I pin this need for transformation on women because they are the sex that primarily "benefits" from the increased optionality provided by social media and online dating.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-04-20T15:29:18+00:00

Either the tater tots will grow up or they won’t

History seems to favor the former

And dating will continue to decline as tech replaces human interaction

kexavah558ask · 2025-04-20T15:04:32+00:00

Unless there are major LEGISLATIVE changes (e.g. undo no-fault divorce, speech-chilling "sexual harassment" clauses, "affirmative consent"/sex as rape until proof of the contrary, considering alcohol as something that makes women unable of consent rather than a social lubricant, and above all the welfare state/social security that transfers a lot from men to women over their lifetime), yes, that's it.

South Korea leads the way. Rock-bottom marriage and fertility rates, widespread prostitution, an overt institutional hostility and exploitation towards males from the political left and a casual cruelty and indifference towards females by men, different from any "trad" society in that men aren't extending courtesies and protection even to mothers and wives of other men. High male suicide rates that stay stubborn during middle age (compared to the pattern elsewhere where they peak 15-25y but get low later in life, only to rise again among the elderly).

Efficient-Baker1694 · 2025-04-20T15:56:52+00:00

It will only get worse from here on out. The rise of AI and robotic technology will eventually create the perfect BF/GF for someone. Why spend time and money on someone who thinks they can choose better immediately? Just get a a robot who will fulfill all of your emotional/mental needs and won’t ever leave you. Shoot maybe 30-40 years from now, the companies will make AI robots that have a realistic penis, vagina or even both on them so we can have sex with them without any risk of STD’s

empireofadhd · 2025-04-22T20:11:56+00:00

Im 40 and I’ve lived without sex and relationships my entire life. I’m also one of those chronically online gentlemen.

I used to have a lot of ambition and was really into politics and making the world a better place etc when I was younger. I used to think there was a ”we” in progressive circles but the older I got and the more therapy I did the more I realized it was all about rubbing women’s egos and making their lives better.

I since then turned away from that. I no longer care about anything. Global warming? The economy? Trump? Stock market? None of it matters. I will not have a legacy. I bought a sex doll and turned inwards. I have no friends and I just work and play computer games.

I think more and more men will follow my footsteps while women will do better. My sisters have kids and families on their own with ”high status men”.

Currently 60% of degrees are taken out by women. We can see it a little bit already but in the future wherever credentials are validated women will be the specialists and the managers, mostly in government. It also in the private sector. Maybe some men on top of society and in extreme specialists. But the middle class will mostly be women and the working poor will be men.

Due to how boys mature slower they will always be at an advantage. The new people in power don’t want anyone to challenge their power. So I think women will take out 80-90% of degrees in the future.

What will happen to dating? I think the government will step in and fund women who want to have kids on their own. 40% of men will be like me: sedated so that we don’t kill ourselves and continue to pay taxes to pay for women who work for the government.

As for dating there will be less and less relationships and more and more bitterness and loneliness.

The biggest outcome will be population collapse and lots of men committing suicide.

Aimeereddit123 · 2025-04-20T17:16:19+00:00

If I wasn’t in a heterosexual relationship right now that’s stable, there is no way on God’s green earth I would enter one! They are doomed. Half the time I question mine just based on stats. I would be a very happy girl dating a very happy girl out in a meadow somewhere if my relationship went south. NEVER doing this again. N.E.V.E.R. My nervous system just waits all the time to be completely sidelined.

BrainTotalitarianism · 2025-04-20T13:57:02+00:00

There are many girls who also feel lonely and want boyfriends who genuinely would be interested in them not just for the sex.

Many people are not ugly, majority you cannot just say they’re 100% ugly. Some self care some work and you’re already in the dating market.

GOVERNORSUIT · 2025-04-20T15:29:10+00:00

alot of the current ideas being spread is based on the goal of population control, and therefore limits people from getting together, however, there is a population crisis, and as much as the current oligarks do not care to share resources, they're at the brink of having no other choice, and it;s only a matter of time til they have to reverse course, and start promoting reproduction again. they will therefore have to give the green light to influencers who are procreation, and change education policies, to prevent a societal break down. governments may even force dating sites to remove whatever obstructions that are currently in place that prevents people from matching. china has already had to get rid of its 1 child policy. lt;s only a matter of time til the west has to change its policies too

there are other factors to consider such as war. ln war time, you will need more people to fight, manufacture, and once the war is over, rebuild

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regular_guy_26 · 2025-04-20T19:05:31+00:00

I think reliance on social media for mating changes. People naturally want partners, and will go about finding partners in person again, because the apps ain’t cutting it. I think socializing in person will be more common. Eventually, that rhetoric from these dating podcasts will be so much shamed, that they’ll be non existent.

But I think these things will happen long term.

ThorzOtherHammer · 2025-04-22T02:52:19+00:00

Crazy theory, but here it is…

In a hundred years (give or take a few decades), Islam will be extremely popular in the US. As men become more and more disaffected, they’ll look for functional solutions (as men do). Islam is a red-pillers dream. Through, societal pressure, religious brainwashing and (often) institutional authority, Islam forces women to be chase, marry young, have kids and be submissive. All things (a lot of) men seem to want. Even in very liberal countries, Muslim women are essentially forced to capitulate. It becomes even harder for women to resist/escape when the Muslim community is large and enmeshed in government institutions. If it’s a choice between a radical religion and loneliness, sexlessness and an end to their lineage, a LOT of men will choose the former. Yes, many women will resist this change, but as more and more girls are brought up in Islam, it will become normalized, until it’s the dominant religion.

Mysterious-Device392 · 2025-04-22T07:40:00+00:00

We'll be living in the Mouse Utopia experiment hellscape, we're already most of the way there anyway.

Melodic_Structure928 · 2025-04-23T04:16:28+00:00

If you look a china you’ll already have a small glimpse of what’s to come. Despite what some of the misandrists claim below most men wont become violent rapist most men will probably just silently drop out and look for other things to do, there will be steep decline in how much these people contribute to society but thats actually for a shit ton of reasons and not just being sexless.

pretty sure we already have status saying that men are approach women less especially in gen Z, and that everyone is actually becoming less lonely then before. That’s cause for a number of reasons these men have concluded that it’s ether not worth it to pursue women, or that there efforts would be rewarded even if they did.

Individual-Spot2700 · 2025-04-24T03:51:48+00:00

Population decline is already happening, except Africa.

redpilled2021 · 2025-05-16T09:35:18+00:00

One can only hope for more freedom of choice. Surrogacy will be legal and anyone can be a single parent by choice.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-04-20T14:10:07+00:00

Total collapse in 30 years.

Unless the government stop current incentives in 10 years the economy and interpersonal relationships will be a disaster with most children coming from single mothers and most of currency losing value as keeping current living standards is just not a possibility.

In 20 years the expansion of current hiring practices, that are unfortunetely going to be return once trump is not in power, will result in massive setbacks toward technological and systematic developments making the current service economy crumb under it's own weight.

In 30 years China will just rise and fill the gap since the massive population, culture and random chance make them more likely to produce geniuses in any field.

So what happens in future? Is there gonna be population decline ?

No, most population increase come from India (that are going to migrate to Canada) and Africa (that are going to migrate to Europe).

Do more ideologies pop up?

No, we may have some ideologies returning but nothing will pop up. Current societies that could build new ones are too neutered to produce a serious ideology.

Do beauty standards continue to raise to impossible heights?

Depends on how fast immigration happens.

Are men and women going to be more divided?

Depends on how much pushback feminism receive.

Least_Contest3913 · 2025-04-20T14:27:41+00:00

Men will end up having their revenge on women.

And women really can't complain after how they treat us ha

wouldbepandananny · 2025-04-20T20:37:28+00:00

Women in real life are not pursuing this same "top 10% of men." In real life they pursue who they are interested in, but who I am interested in has such scant overlap with my peers, I've- in the past- wondered if I'm crazy or they are. Whatever "10%" they are chasing (as women do have to be more cautious for a variety of reasons- primarily pertaining to safety), the vast majority of men who wish to date likely can.

Dating apps are a different story. Most of the dudes I've dated in real life wouldn't appear half so desirable in an online dating profile. All the quirks that give these guys their spark tend to get lost in translation.

The apps never worked well for me, because the type of guy I'm into wasn't who I was drawing in...and the qualities I like cannot be accurately presented in a profile. Instead I'd find myself looking for MSK and DnD shirts, pictures with dogs & cats, as a facsimile or analogue to dudes I've had the most fun with.

Nearly all women have had this experience. There's not a good way to screen for the endearing quirks that draw us to specific men. The problem is with the apps- not women.

TimberGoingDown · 2025-04-21T01:43:57+00:00

I swear, most guys on here have never talked to a woman in their life.

Most women aren't on dating apps. Most women aren't finding their partners in bars or clubs. They're not finding their partners from being cold approached or "meet cutes."

Most people find their SO's through their social network. Your friend has a girlfriend, she has friends, and you end up clicking with one of them at a party or something. Or through work. Or through school. Or through special interest groups, like cooking clubs or dance classes. It's been proven that women find men more attractive in person than through pictures, and the longer she knows a guy, the more attractive he'll be.

If you want to meet women, expand your social circle. Don't just have hobbies, have hobbies that get you out of the house and talking to other people.

Also, take care of your appearance. Dress well, shower regularly, brush your teeth, and keep your hair and beard trimmed. It's really not that hard. The bar is through the floor.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-04-22T13:51:55+00:00

For men it’s becoming common knowledge that being average isn’t enough anymore

"Common knowledge" as the source for your claims isn't enough anymore.

Bring some evidence that being average isn't enough anymore.

There is a lot of misandry going on in social media with a rhetoric that all men are evil and useless now

I don't have any misandry in my social media. Guess what social media algorithms do. Yeah, they show you what you want to see, not a representation of reality. Guess what a neonazi would say about what goes on in social media. Guess what a feminist would say goes on in social media. Guess what an incel would say goes on on social media. Guess what very short men with a complex see on social media. Guess what girls with eating disordes think goes on in social media.

Dating apps are proven useless for everyone except the top 10% percent of men.

Top 20% doesn't cut it anymore? 80/20 is wrong now? Where is the data to suppor that?

Cold approaching is demonized

You know when dating apps worked best for average men? When online dating was demonized in it's beginnings. You know when cold approaching works best? When barely anyone does it because they think it shouldn't be done.

As for women many have become ok with not having a romantic partner at all or just waiting for a chance with a top 10% man.

Where is the evidence for them waiting for a top 10% man? What ballpark, percentage wise is "many" in your statement?

Ketamine-pigeon · 2025-04-21T14:30:01+00:00

Maybe men should just work to be at women’s level. Like maybe you guys should work on being more independent and also more attractive, instead of getting angry at the “top 10%”. No one’s said you can’t also hit the gym, start counting calories or look for a better job. Maybe if you did that, you’d already have a girlfriend by now.

Survey	Married	Living w/ Partner	Committed Relationship	Single
Oct 2019	20%	15%	14%	51%
Feb 2022	17%	18%	9%	56%
Jul 2022	14%	11%	12%	63%

Oct 2019	Married	Living w/ Partner	Combined
Pew	20%	15%	35%
Census	14%	11%	25%

Jul 2022	Married	Living w/ Partner	Combined
Pew	14%	11%	25%
Census	14%	13%	27%

Survey	Married	Living w/ Partner	Committed Relationship	Single
Oct 2019	27%	25%	16%	32%
Feb 2022	21%	27%	21%	31%
Jul 2022	20%	27%	19%	34%

Oct 2019	Married	Living w/ Partner	Combined
Pew	27%	25%	52%
Census	19%	13%	32%

Title	What going to happen to the dating scene in 10 to 20 years?
Author	ChihuahuaOwner88
Upvotes	88
Comments	299
Date	April 20, 2025 7:45 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1k3hg8e/what_going_to_happen_to_the_dating_scene_in_10_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-going-to-happen-to-the-dating-scene-in-10-to.1550126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550126

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