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[–]sentinelsexyFDS Newbie333 points334 points335 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
My biggest fear is getting married and losing all my friends/being known as "Mom" and not my own name.
[–]lisasimpsonfanFDS Newbie193 points194 points195 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
being known as "Mom" and not my own name
That is one thing I hate about being a Mom. No matter what I do in life being a mom defines me. The headlines will never read "Cute AF Local Woman Ran Off With 1 Million Dollars" no it will be "Mom ran of with 1 million dollars, family wonders who will make turkey for Thanksgiving?".
[–]Elisa_LaViudaNegraFDS Newbie80 points81 points82 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This reminds me of my former would have been SIL. Apparently someone asked who would be cooking Thanksgiving dinner last year if everyone was coming to mine and my ex’s house since he certainly was no Wolfgang Puck. Her answer was, “that’s what [my name] is for!” Oh, word? THAT’S what I’m “for?” To feed a bunch of adults who also have hands and can bring food to our house instead of me panic shopping and cooking 3 hours before you all invited yourselves over? My only purpose in life? Kick rocks. I was so offended. I couldn’t wait for them to leave.
[–]laserkatzeFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Apparently a previously non famous woman who doesn’t entirely lose all her hobbies and identity and becomes a full time mother hen is so special that they need to mention it all the time.
[+]MissSommerFDS Newbie-10 points-9 points-8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well,if you manage to run away sucessfully, why would you care?
[–][deleted] 81 points82 points83 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I hate how successful women always have it noted that they’re a “wife and mom” too, and many self-identity this way with everything. Men almost never get their public identity attached with “husband and father” nor self-identity that way.
[–]spicyspaFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh yeah good grief I hate that. When all those commercials show women folding their arms and saying and "I'm a mom" as if it were a big deal. I'm a mom too but only my daughter gives a damn about that.
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
being known as "Mom" and not my own name.
Oof, this actually just made me panic a little inside when I read it. Losing your identity to become nothing but 'mom'...
[–]ZestyCloseUpPickmeisha™️22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same. There was a movie where the couple was in therapy and had to say what they loved about the other. “she’s an amazing mom” was the first thing, rather than her kindness, loyalty, honor, integrity, intelligence, etc. I would hate that, losing my individuality 💀
[–]suncolorFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is not really related but this comment reminds me of men named Robert who, over time, just become “Bob”. It’s like, wow sir, at one point you had a real name. I’ve thought about this particular name evolution a lot because I’ve known some “Bobby”s and have wondered when they’ll just become “Bob”.
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I wonder this too
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie372 points373 points374 points 5 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link
Having a roach crawl into your mouth when asleep.
[–]hakunnamatatamfsFDS Newbie108 points109 points110 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Happened to a cousin of mine. Trust me, you don't want that
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie101 points102 points103 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
One woke me up by crawling on my arm earlier this past summer. Like I felt it in my dream. So I had a close call. Just ew ew ew ew ew ew.
[–]hakunnamatatamfsFDS Newbie30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh nooo 😭
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's what I get for leaving my window cracked during the summer to let fresh air in at night. Won't he doing that again.
[–]hakunnamatatamfsFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I feel ya
[–]prettytheftFDS Newbie18 points19 points20 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
WHY DID YOU TELL US THIS
[–]hakunnamatatamfsFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Hahaha sorry. In honor to the truth, she was wasted 😂😂😂
[–]HottPinkSlugFDS Newbie151 points152 points153 points 5 years ago* (10 children) | Copy Link
Because this is I feel, a safe place, I dated a disgusting pothead guy in college who picked up the bowl to take a hit and sucked up a cockaroach that had crawled into the pipe. You never really get over seeing a roach get spit out of a mouth youve kissed
edit lol sorry everybody for ruining your weekend
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Apprentice99 points100 points101 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
ME: Huh, might as well check up on FDS right now...
ALSO ME: slowly closes laptop for the night
[–]shoesfromparis135FDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mood
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh man. That's awful. Glad you're not with that anymore!!
[–][deleted] 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That roach was his spirit Animal trying to remind of what he is 💀
[–]ceilingkatwatchesusFDS Disciple9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ahahahahahhahahh as they you are what you eat or smoke in this case. Ahahhaa and in my case I'm a cookie. Damn I love cookies!!!
[–]asinglepeanut30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
NO
OH GOD NO
[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Please delete this you’ve ruined us all lol 😱
[–]FrostyDetailsFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You just randomly reminded me of this time when I was 18-19. I was sitting around with a group of friends; smoking, drinking, getting 'crunk.'
I legit watched this derpy stoner who drank too much- involuntary vomit directly into a bong as it was being passed around. Out of shame and denial he tried to play it off like he didn't just puke into the pipe . He then proceeded to nonchalantly offer it to me and aggressively tell me 'its all cool, take a hit'. When everyone refused to smoke, he got all pissed off and stormed out of the house.
[–]NineOneNineOneNineFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Used to party with a guy who was broke and he would drink all of the old dregs left in random beer cans in the morning. Saw him puke up a cigarette butt once.
[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
“Cockaroach” 😆😂🤣😅 Yes, scrotes are cockaroaches; all of them.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ohh noo!! I've had that happen just being outside. 😒🙄
[–]kwallioFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had a fly crawl up my nose while I was asleep - woke up sneezing, had no idea why, went to blow my nose and the fly came out. It just felt like a tickle in my nose.
[–]denverkrisFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
A gnat got into my ear while I was sleeping once. The thought of going to hell no longer frightens me.
[–]royaldetourFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂😂😂
[–]Delilahh12345FDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is why I sleep in mosquito netting! No roaches can crawl on me now!
[–][deleted] 369 points370 points371 points 5 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
What's "late marriage" anyway? Like after 7 pm?
[–]CatlovesMocaFDS Newbie142 points143 points144 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I would think 3 AM. Like it's not exactly day but it's not exactly the evening. Nothing is really opened. That is a late marriage.
[–][deleted] 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That would fuck up that late marriage dude so bad 😆
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When does it go from being a late marriage to an early morning marriage?
[–]CatlovesMocaFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh totally at like the 4:30 Am zone. Like 5 AM is definitely in the early morning zone. But a little before 5AM you can find the threshold for the late marriage to early marriage. My guess is that 4 Am can still be seen as late but 4:30 AM feels closer to early morning. So if you want a early (morning) marriage, you gotta start marrying at 4:30 to 5 am.
[–]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie68 points69 points70 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
😹😹😹
I've been to several evening weddings and they were lovely... nothing to fear there.
Ohhhh except most of them went from the beautiful ceremonies to years of stress, drudgery and disappointment. Hmmm....
[–][deleted] 23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a night owl I'd certainly love such a late wedding ))
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most of them do. Like 99% 😪
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I literally choked on my drink when I read this LOL
[–]saggy_lemons1FDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lmao
[–]MissSommerFDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If you have to do it, I guess this is cheaper
[–]sillychickengirlFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Please take my award
This comment killed me
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like my marriages to be done by breakfast.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Showing up late to your own wedding /s
[–]HottPinkSlugFDS Newbie182 points183 points184 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Did you know rats are strong enough swimmers they can go up sewer pipes into toilets and bite your tushie?
[–]kahootofficialFDS Newbie70 points71 points72 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow a whole new nightmare thank you
[–]riricideFDS Apprentice45 points46 points47 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😨😨😨 ok now I'm not happy at all
[–]Inspection-CriticalFDS Apprentice39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Is this theory or has this really happened?
Feel free to lie to me.
[–]AwkwardDisaster4150FDS Newbie29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m never using the toilet again thanks
[–]deranged_berserkerFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I could have lived my whole life without fear of 'rat up a drain pipe into my butt"! Thanks.
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did not know that. Thank you.
[–]lisasimpsonfanFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thank you for that nightmare.
[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Wasn’t there a problem a long time ago with rats killing infants because they smelled milk on them?
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 119 points120 points121 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
Mine is sitting on a toilet and a hidden snake attacks my vagina but okay
I thought I was the only one 🤣
[–]BlackThummbFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Seriously, same! It’s the most irrational fear ever, but every once in a while, I feel the need to do a toilet inspection lol 😂
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
😂😂
[–]a20922FDS Newbie12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Can’t pee without turning a light on to check for snakes first 👋
[–]huevos_and_whiskeyFDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I legit opened the lid on the toilet once and a wasp flew out. No idea how or why it got in there but ever since, I always check for toilet wasps. This happened when I was a kid so pretty much my whole life I’ve been checking for toilet wasps, and it only happened the one time. I think people who don’t check are crazy.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
👍🏾🤣🤣🤣
[–]denverkrisFDS Newbie85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I didn't get married until I was 45. Was probably best for all that I waited so long, I definitely wasn't mature enough to make a good choice earlier in life.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Disciple376 points377 points378 points 5 years ago (23 children) | Copy Link
One of my biggest nightmares is marriage. Just marriage. The thought of letting someone in like that, making that forever commitment and then having them drop the act and show their LV true self after I’m already legally chained is terrifying to me. Doubly so if i have a kid with them. I know so many people it’s happened to, if I wanted to be married early I would have accepted the proposal at 19, or 24, or 27. But I didn’t because I knew it was wrong and they were proposing for the wrong reasons (normally control and to keep me from moving on). K bye
[–]VivaLaSeaFDS Newbie83 points84 points85 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
This is one of my biggest fears as well. Letting my guard down, submitting to someone, and giving them my all, just for them to turn around and turn into a LVM, and have me looking like booboo the fool. I know too many women who’ve wasted the best years of their lives on a trash ass man and I refuse to do the same.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Disciple54 points55 points56 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Same. I was starting to kind of relax on this fear... and then my best friends husband (who I wouldn’t have necessarily described as HV, but definitely would not have expected to be this LV) cheated on her with hookers... after 8 YEARS together. I can’t even imagine investing that much time with someone who seemed loving and devoted on the surface (he was kind of useless around the house but seemed 100% in love and dedicated to her) only to find out something THAT huge. I was so fooled when she called me and said “Kyle did something” my first thought was “omg did he cheat? No, Kyle wouldn’t do that!” aaaand he did. I stayed skeptical in the beginning but after a few years of him seeming outwardly consistent, even I started to like him. (Although the fact that she had to twist his arm to get married is now very telling)
Now I watch her agonize because she doesn’t want to leave and be alone and he’s not getting his shit together like I think he should be, it’s so hard to watch and is driving a wedge between her and all her friends because she knows we think she deserves better.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
Aw this is heartbreaking to read. I’m just so sick of hearing stories like this, or women just being used and abused. How did she find out?
These stories always terrify me, because it just goes to show that no one ever thinks their loving partner will cheat... until they do. So now if I get any sense that a guy maaay be a cheater, I trust my gut and bounce. It’s just too common.
I hope she makes the best choice for herself. Edit: which imo is leaving, once a cheater always a cheater.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Disciple31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
They were in the car together, he’d plugged his phone in to charge and Siri read a text from an escort out loud over her CarPlay, he freaked out and started trying to disconnect the phone and she was like “the fuck was that?!?” He tried to deny it, then say it was his first time... then she went back through their bank accounts and found a regular cash withdrawal in a part of town that he has no reason being in, conveniently close to a known massage parlor. Then she found the thousand dollar cash withdrawals every time he was out of town for business (the PI shit she pulled during all this was kind of insane). Of course then he finally told her the full truth (allegedly), but claimed sex addiction and they’re “working on it”. Unfortunately she’s stuck in the sunk cost fallacy, she says she’s invested too much time, I think she’s just wasting more because while he may not be cheating anymore, he definitely has not gotten his shit together and worked on leveling up and the LVM attitude is still there. She normally takes no shit too, I was really surprised that she stayed and is putting up with what she still is. It’s hard to watch and it’s affecting all of her friendships because she’s withdrawing from all of us to try to hide that he’s still not acting right and she’s unhappy but putting up with it. Makes me so sad.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow, someone was looking out for her that day! It’s crazy how that kind of thing can happen and unravel someone’s lies. And the fact he then tried to gaslight and manipulate her. I don’t understand the depravity of cheaters and how they can do what they do. They just don’t even see the person they’re cheating on as a human being. It’s disgusting. And paying for it too goes to show the way he views women in general. Just toys and slaves for pleasure.
Damn, I hope she comes to her senses and leaves. I think we all know, he’ll cheat again. And this time be even more sneaky about it considering he was caught.
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
She needs a copy of Tracy Schorn’s Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life. Or just send her over to chumplady.com for an eye opening experience to see what she can expect if she stays with him.
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That book has saved lives...no lie ❤️
[–]supremelyparanoidFDS Apprentice21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve known people to drag their spouse down the isle and it was always found out they were cheaters before and after the marriage .... sigh.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Disciple26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I already wasn’t the type to twist a guys arm into marrying me but that firmly cemented the whole “if he wants to, he will. If he doesn’t, there’s a reason”. She had to tell him that she was going to leave him if he didn’t propose, and huge surprise he wasn’t 100% in. He can’t plan a romantic dinner, or a trip, or a thoughtful surprise or engagement... but he can find and plan a hooker visit while he’s on a work trip to the east coast 🤡
[–]HmtnswFDS Newbie75 points76 points77 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That happend with my mom and my real father (her first husband). He was super sweet until the marriage papers were signed and she moved out to Utah from Florida to be with him. She left him after I was born... went back to her abusive mother.
This is shit I fear too.
[–]oppiqoFDS Newbie36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. I've seen guys leave their wife of 20+ years and multiple children for someone else or because of some mid life crisis. Imagine wasting all those years just to have him change his mind one day and decide he wants something else.
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I realized part of my emotional unavailability when younger was seeing my stepdad dupe my mom (and really, us kids too). He was such a good, giving man... and then they got married. Total 180. He was Mr Selfish almost immediately and dragged the whole family down.
Edit - I need to add that my mom married him too fast. They only knew each other 6 months. Too fast. And she had opportunities to leave him and never has. She gets mad when I say if I were her, I would’ve left a marriage like that decades ago.
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, if you have a kid with them you're pretty much stuck with them for the rest of your life. That can turn into a real nightmare.
Also I can't imagine the disaster it would have been if I had gotten married at 19 or even 24. I was absolutely not ready to make any long-term life choices at that age. Probably not at 27 either considering how much I've learnt since then. Still not sure I can be fully trusted to make choices like that at 39.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Disciple5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same. The guy at 19 I actually wanted to marry in the beginning but by the time he proposed, I was over it (thank god!) I was so SO damaged from my childhood I thought that someone loving me would make it better, he was just such a complete ass that by the time he proposed I was sick of it. Luckily I said no and proceeded to grow and learn and in my 20s, I’m 32 now and just starting to feel like maybe I have a grasp on what a good relationship would be. I’ve changed a ton even since 27, that’s why I strongly advocate for women to not make permanent decisions like that in their early 20s. I’m a completely different person than I was even a year ago.
[–]SunnydaleHSDropoutFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Omg how have you been proposed to three times I have never had anyone wanna marry me haha 😭
[–]riricideFDS Apprentice131 points132 points133 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
It's not as exciting when the person isn't right. On the contrary you feel trapped and uncomfortable because it's like your entire life is going to become one dreadful train journey through a wasteland.
[–]SunnydaleHSDropoutFDS Newbie51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No definitely. When I think back, the guys I thought I wanted to marry were certainly not right.
[–]RabidWenchFDS Apprentice25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Visions of Lizzy Bennett and Mister Collins...
[–]CB4lifeFDS Newbie24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I had a guy refer to me as his fiancée somewhere even though he hadn’t even proposed. We had of course discussed futures together but not quite that concretely. It made me realize that if he had proposed that day I would have said no- I did not think we were at that point, and it made me look at things and realize he wasn’t the person I would want to be married to anyway. It was one of many things that made me realize it was time to get out.
[–]EclecticBarbarellaFDS Disciple30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
I had shitty taste in men and picked guys who thought that throwing a ring at me would make me stick around and tolerate shitty treatment and emotional unavailability (because they were assholes who believed this whole “all women want desperately to be married” bs). If any of them had been a compliment, I’d be married right now lol. One of them literally only proposed after id dumped him for laughing in my face when I asked him what we were. I have a breaking point where I’m just done and can’t go back, and all of them came after that point as a manipulation tactic.
[–]RabidWenchFDS Apprentice72 points73 points74 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Ooooh story time! My father married my mom when she "got knocked up" and they moved into.... a tent on the property he had bought while he was building the house (which i last saw in my late teens and still wasn't completed 😒). At some point the house became finished enough to live in, but had carpet over concrete floors, and interesting roommates - scorpions, which loved nesting under the carpet in the corners.
Apparently, one night my mother felt something crawling on her face, grabbed it in the dark and smashed it on the wall above her head without really waking up. In the morning she looked up to find a dead baby scorpion crushed on the wall.
To my knowledge, that house never did get finished. I haven't spoken to my father in over 15 years, so I'll never know.
[–]supremelyparanoidFDS Apprentice13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Why did I read this! Omgosh 😢
[–]RabidWenchFDS Apprentice11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm sorry! 😂
[–]iaintgonnacallyouFDS Newbie41 points42 points43 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When I was about 5, my mom once told me there were alligators in port-a-potties to get me to hurry up. Almost 20 years later and I’m still terrified of an alligator in an outhouse.
[–]KristeninmyskinFDS Apprentice22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
There’s a lot of reasons to fear port a potties, though!
[–][deleted] 35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hidden flies in the toilet bowl.
Shudder
[–]ShieldMaidenLagerthaFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol. You would have lost your mind at the fixer upper I bought 5 years ago. 🤣🤣🤣
[–]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My biggest fear is honestly something bad happening to either my family, friends, cats or my dude & his daughters. I worry like hell all the time these days for my sister who is in the medical field.
Marriage wasn't even in my plans until this year ( at age 42 ).... never bothered me that I hit my 40s unmarried.... a little loneliness is far better than being legally stuck to a worthless dude.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist31 points32 points33 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I was thinking about this yesterday - how many women are waiting on men to complete their lives in some way. The man has all the power and they are giving it to them. One friend was beside herself as she’s been seeing a guy for 6 months and they only see each other once a week - usually he just comes to her place, eat takeaway, have sex and sleep. And she asked him the other day where this is headed and should she be dating others. Of course, he said no and girlfriended her... but nothing has changed and I wonder if he just didn’t want to lose his weekly lay.
Another has been waiting ten years for hers to propose. The last two years she’s thought every holiday and Christmas he would propose but he hasn’t. So she’s being a good wifey and waiting for the ring. All her friends are getting married to their partners. I’m sure it will happen, but ten years is a long time to wait... why hasn’t he done it? They are 30.
Another was just a hookup to a guy. Started as a walk date, then he asked her for sex which she did. She ended up saying to him after a few months that she was going to look for something serious, so he locked her down. But she’d already asked him before and he said he didn’t want anything serious, but I guess by the second time he didn’t want to lose his bangmaid. He ended up moving in with her straight away, she cooks and cleans and all sorts of things. He buys her flowers which is nice, but also she did have to prise his Instagram and OF girls out of his hands (he’s late 30s) so I don’t know how well this is going to go.
These women, always waiting on men to show they are worth something. It’s scary.
[–]guccitechnoFDS Newbie25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’ve seen women jump from marriage to marriage their whole adult life. The desperation and fear of being “old and single” is real. Also jumping into marriage for financial reasons (like insurance) this is why it’s so important for us women to be able to take care of ourselves. Men will pounce to trap you with marriage and victimize you if they sense weakness
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes! 100% it’s so important for women to be able to look after themselves and be independent if need be.
You’re right, they do pounce on women who seem desperate and lock them into marriage... and then what’s even worse is that gaslight the woman who works, has the children, looks after the children, cooks, cleans, listens to his problems, gives him affection and attention and sex whilst he still acts like a single man watching porn, drinking with buddies, and potentially cheating... that SHE is the ball and chain. Omg. It makes me wild when I hear this shit.
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
desperation and fear of being “old and single” is real
Of course it is when women are constantly being told that they have an expiration date after which they have no value.
Women are being treated as if we loose our looks after 30, go infertile after 40 despite the fact that the female body is made to get pregnant all the way up to menopause which usually takes place in your 50s, and are essentially viewed as only worth something if we're wives and mothers. Women are constantly being defined by what use men can have of them and it's absolute bullshit.
[–]N3wY34rN3wM3FDS Disciple17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Sometimes I wonder if a day will ever come when these women wake up and realize there's more to life than finding the "right" man to marry. It's sad to know so many women are still stuck in the deep brainwashing of the patriarchy when they could be having fun doing so many other things in life.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true. I doubt any of these women will. The first one is very against kids and relationships usually, but the guy she’s with seems to just be taking her for a ride and she’s obsessed with him. I think his emotional unavailability reminds her of her father on some level.
I don’t think the others will either, the one who’s been with her partner for 10years I think will suffer from sunk cost fallacy. The other, she’s always been super desperate doing everything for her men, and always getting cheated on. But she’s obsessed with finally getting married and having another baby, and she’s 33. So I have afeeling she’s going to end up repeating history.
[–]CairenneFDS Newbie58 points59 points60 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Same girl. Same.
[–]to_learn_to_flyFDS Newbie53 points54 points55 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
For me it's a spider
[–]LadyGrimesFDS Disciple40 points41 points42 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Quite a few years back there was a damn house spider under the rim of the toilet bowl and I didn't notice that sucker till I stood up to wipe. He had a web built up and everything, how the fuck he managed that and managed to stay hidden is beyond me. Now I always check before I sit down.
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh my god a new fear I never knew to have
[–]throwRAwhatisthisFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You’re my hero I would jumped too girl .haha how in the world did you fall down the steps?
[–]fruitbowl_Pickmeisha™️29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I knew I was justified in my fear of toilet snakes!!!!!!!
[–]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have brushed that off as a myth for forever.... mayyyybe I should re-evaluate?
[–]fruitbowl_Pickmeisha™️12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My friend had a wet rat leap out of her toilet (her trusty Westie terrier took care of it), so I don’t think toilet snakes are out of the question.
[–]CatlovesMocaFDS Newbie27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Especially in Australia. I heard in that country animals do anything they please. Heck, the Emus even won a war over there.
Should a woman be more afraid of a "late" marriage or of a Emu with a willingness to fight?
[–]ThatOneRedditGirlFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Women should really be scared of early marriage with an abusive ass hole. Trust me. Made that mistake and married at 19.
[–]MomcellaFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Same here 😔
[–]ThatOneRedditGirlFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I think it was the culture we were raised in. They raised us to be pickmes and then were furious when we picked someone who was clearly bad for us. Uhm hello! What did you expect after raising me on “Girl meets guy who is jerk, but she makes him better” garbage?
[–]MomcellaFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly! Using their bad marriage as an example of what relationships should be like, it's no wonder we turn out to seek unhealthy ones.
[–]ThatOneRedditGirlFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yup! That’s why I’m trying to set an example for my son of what he should accept. I refuse to set footsteps before him that don’t lead to healthy and emotionally safe relationships!
[–]iheartcookinPickmeisha™️22 points23 points24 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Every woman’s worst nightmare is a late marriage.
[–]smilodon91Throwaway Account19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
every woman's biggest nightmare SHOULD be marriage. period.
[–]SirCrowDevoidOfCornFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It always was mine. I had several girlfriends whose moms wanted to leave their husbands but couldn't for financial reasons.
[–]mr-jimbusinessFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Tbh a spider is actually the real fear but I do live in Australia. A girl can't get a break here with the wildlife and the wild men.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Haha “the wild men” i can attest to that. So many ferals
[–]N2GenFDS Newbie17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Mine’s falling on my ass on black ice in the middle of winter and breaking a leg.
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Mine is similar - slipping on ice while opening my car door and having the corner of it hit me straight in the eye.
[–]LadyDraconiiThrowaway Account6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
This is in line with my greatest fear, falling down the steps and breaking my hip. So many women I know have had this happen to them. I have had too many surgeries near my hip; I feel like I would never recover. Plus I am tall, so it would be a super long fall down the steps.
[–]curlygirl507FDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is how my grandma died (not down the stairs, but fell and broke her hip that had already been replaced) 😔
[–]N2GenFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I’m sorry 😞💔
AHHHH 😣
[–]backforbeskarFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
mine is secret alligators in the swimming pool
[–]spoiledsweetFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Uh, yes, I’ll have one (1) nightmare please ☝🏼 ty
[–]ALocusInTheBiosphereFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Mine is having an IBS poop attack while giving a public presentation.
[–]LadyDraconiiThrowaway Account2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yikes!
[–]localgirlcultFDS Apprentice13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I was like 6 years old I accidentally saw the old version of Stephen King's It on tv. They were showing it DURING THE DAYTIME. And there are scenes where Pennywise comes out of the drain. So little me was worried for probably months that It was gonna come out of every drain in the bathroom and from the toilet. 6 year old me sitting on the toilet getting ready to quickly jump up, wipe, flush and run out and thinking oh no what if Pennywise bites my butt
[–]GuineveresGraceFDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I mean, personally, it’s pseudocoma/ locked-in syndrome ... but you do you, Miss Havisham.
[–]CatusCactusFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most marriages fail before someone turns 30, so a “”late”” marriage is better than a unhappy/toxic one.
[–]Old-Flower-9089FDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
A marriage is never late, nor is it early. It arrives precisely when it means to.
[–]ThrowawayKITTY777FDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
💚💚💚
I wish I'd used this line more when people pestered me about being unmarried for so long.
I'll be using this in my wedding toast now.
[–]VivaLaSeaFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mine is I lift the toilet lid and a tarantula or rat jumps out. I literally never lower my toilet lid for this reason.
[–]yolosunshineFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well my biggest fear is being locked in an abusive relationship because I ignored those red flags but I hope you like cooking after you’ve been beaten, sis
[–]ChonkyCatzPlzFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My greatest nightmare is having children. I keep seeing my sister saying "motherhood is a blessing" and gritting her teeth 20 seconds later while muttering "stop. Screaming!! Mommy can't take it!!!"
Considering marrying most men is like having really ugly overgrown children, marriage is on the list too
[–]yallloveFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Eating sushi with a live worm on it. Saw a video of one last week and now can’t eat fish. 😭
[–]iheartcookinPickmeisha™️2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unfortunate that you were grossed out but that’s good news for the fish!
[–]lessabeFDS Newbie6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I used to have the spider crawling Up there worry but then I moved to Arizona and now replaced that with scorpions crawling up my poussoir
AH AH AH AH AH
[–]NoonLooneyFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mine is human trafficking or being burnt alive
[–]CloacaDiddlerFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mom kept nutty bars under her bed in college as a snack. (Before she dropped out to have half a dozen kids while my dad continued his education and career) She said one night, without looking she reached down and grabbed one, but it felt weird to touch and really weird going down. Turned the light on and saw the whole thing was covered in ants.
So that’s kind of a main fear of mine. And marriage. Losing my name, my agency, my identity, hitching my carriage to someone who almost certainly will at some point betray my trust somehow or not treat me right but now I’m contractually stuck to him. Being the eternal plus one in some man’s story while he takes me along to business dinners and gets commended for being a family man now as I carry the burden of being “a wife” (already, the first thing most new people ask me is if I’m dating and everything about my relationship, someone even asked how much allowance he gives me and was shook when I said bitch none I make all my own money that’s why I have a job??) When I’m with a man, I always become lesser to other people and society, despite being the one most likely doing far more than the male partner.
Shark in the swimming pool. A chlorinated swimming pool...
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Right like image ALMOST escaping and then one gets you at the last minute
[–]Pudding5050Pickmeisha™️4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm far more worried about ending up in an abusive relationship than late marriage. Or even just getting stuck feeling lonely in the marriage/relationship. Late marriage doesn't scare me at all. What's late marriage anyway, 80? 90? If they're suggesting it's like 35-40 then they're most likely just kids who think anything over 30 is ancient and who don't yet have any concept about what life is like.
[–]Delilahh12345FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mine's a roach crawling into my vagina
When a Spider decide to land on my head while I’m driving on the highway!! Trust me been there
[–]SayNadFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
late marriage
You mean prolonged freedom. So far the one who freaks out like it is the damn apocalypse when they hit 30 and still can't find a spouse are mainly men. Women do feel sad, but they often are very even-tempered about it. Or are happy and not sure they want to be tied down.
Meanwhile men gets more bitter and nastier the longer they are single - blaming women for literally every single fucking thing.
[–]boredbitch2020FDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Spider is more likely to be there
[–]TrocekFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Electric kettle blowing up while boiling water ✋😬
[–]marasloveFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I want children more than being tied down to a possible son of a b*tch. However, I just want to do the marriage thing beforehand since my family would go bat shit if I did things my own way. I just know in my heart my kids would never leave me in the dust versus a shit “husband”.
[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh girl... Get married first if you want to, but you gotta learn to say piss off to your family before you have kids. Otherwise they’ll be leading you (and them) around by the neck hairs forever.
© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.created by /u/dream-hunter
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