Sis needs help

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-10-01T18:39:56+00:00

This is very sad and she needs to stop torturing herself.

It seems like she chased him and poured all her love and effort into him and he was lukewarm at best.

I want to emphasize to any young women reading this: please know that if a guy tries to excuse his lack of love and affection for you with “that’s just my personality”, he is LYING and dump him ASAP. There is no such thing as a man who is madly in love with a woman, but his “personality” makes him cold and expressionless. This is a big takeaway from my youth and prior marriage. He does not love you and he’s lying because he’s too chickenshit to dump you and enjoys using you for what he can get.

Far_from_deceived · 2021-10-01T17:56:22+00:00

I felt so sad reading this. She must be feeling really bad. She should’ve cut ties with mutual friends with him. Why did she even go to this fuck*** party??

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2021-10-01T18:01:32+00:00

He never loved her, he just loved that she'd do anything for him.

And he doesn't love this 22yo either, he loves the new social standing and reverence she brings him.

lucidlotus · 2021-10-01T17:44:20+00:00

Red flag: She traveled to him every weekend when they were long distance. Why didn’t he go to her?

His new party lifestyle. The age gap between him and his new girlfriend. He just wants a younger woman who’s easier to control and less likely to ask him for a serious commitment. His excitement around her (and his friends’ jealousy) is based purely on her looks and age (i.e., it’s sexual).

This man isn’t who she thought he was and she was blinded by their connection. Two years without an engagement if he was supposedly on the same page is too much. That said my heart goes out to her.

SayNad · 2021-10-01T19:35:14+00:00

I just lost the love of my life

Can we please, pleaseeee STOP with this "the love of my life" rhetoric in dating? Love is something that takes years, years to grow and it comes with its share of life testing the two people's bond over and over again, yet the bond remains firm. That's love.

Old couple still madly in "love" with each other despite all of life harsh circumstances - that's love. It is a fully formed tree with roots deep underground.

You seeing someone and do fun stuff together isn't love, it is attraction, infatuation and lust. There isn't even a bond yet.

Yet women throw headlong into these juvenile relationship with everything they have and projecting all their hopes and dreams without even truly looking at the man. They claim "the love of my life!" and attaching themselves too tightly to that guy because "I love him!".

Ladies, you are just shooting yourself in the foot if you believe this "he is the love of my life!" thing in dating. You essentially gaslighting yourselves to only see how "great" he is instead of the reality.

Dating is a process, one that we have to take very seriously because we want the best future partner for our future family. Please stop it with this "the love of my life" bs, you aren't even there yet.

You are just starting the selection process. Don't sabotage yourself ladies.

preppykat3 · 2021-10-01T18:25:29+00:00

I can’t see someone like that staying with him for too long. That young girl will be out of there in no time. She’s the one that has her youth to enjoy not that scrote 🤮

MerrilyMerrilyMe · 2021-10-01T18:40:34+00:00

I feel terrible for her. Wish she could see the truth: the trash took itself out. If he doesn't think it's time to grow up at 33, it's unlikely he ever will.

Now she only needs to focus on improving her vetting, so a clown like this can never waste two years of her life again.

Peak_Tree · 2021-10-01T18:41:20+00:00

She should feel THE ICK at seeing him with such a young woman ( and if her social circle has any hint of HV-ness on it they should feel it too).

lansburysoda · 2021-10-01T17:52:49+00:00

Men will wring every last drop of hope and happiness out of you and then walk away like nothing happened. Never empty your cup to fill someone else’s.

bananna_nut · 2021-10-01T19:11:28+00:00

I'm sorry but she is so naive, ignoring how he obviously never cared for her why is she envious of the new gf? Hellooo that young girl is dating some washed up guy 11 years older than her when she could be dating a younger guy! That's just fucking weird, especially at such a young age, is sis that brainwashed by the idea of this guy to think that what he is doing is okay? The new gf is wasting her life and so is OP

BarbwireBoots · 2021-10-01T18:53:18+00:00

9/10 chance dude is a narcissist. No reason to believe otherwise and plenty of clues he is. OP needs narc rehab. Bless her. I hope she learns it didn’t matter who his next target was, it was never going to be her.

apommom · 2021-10-01T18:24:10+00:00

I feel for her and this is an agonizing thing to have to go through, but she’s only torturing herself more by stalking this girls profile. Also she shouldn’t have to, but it would’ve been best for her mental health to leave the party. You really have to do all you can to limit the amount of hurt and pain, that’s why no contact is the only way to deal with an ex. It’s also sad to hear how concerned she is with the external validation of his friends, and that she really believes they like this young girl more than they ever liked her. It’s tough to age, it’s tough to not be the youngest and prettiest in the room, but the internalized male gaze (is that a thing? you know what I mean) is only doing further damage. She needs to love herself immediately, get some therapy and seek healthy outlets and friendships.

shelballama · 2021-10-01T19:43:54+00:00

She thinks she loss... But she really won. This dude is a grade A loser

NAthrowaway0613 · 2021-10-01T17:59:03+00:00

I hope you actually messaged her because this makes me sad. I can feel her hurt and her self blame for this. This is all a spot we’ve been in in the past. I hope she finds her self worth and starts valuing herself more because she doesn’t deserve to be in a relationship where she puts in 99% of the work and he puts in 1%. Literally nobody deserves that. This is the ONLY time I believe in 50/50 haha. 50/50 should not be in terms of money, but in terms of work.

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-01T18:42:26+00:00

He was always like that you don’t see that because you were in love (i can relate) you’ll be better without him in your life and why are you feeling bad? The trash throw itself out, poor girl he’s just using her because he’s younger and don’t has experience

PokePrincess95 · 2021-10-01T19:08:08+00:00

Oh hun I just want to give her the biggest hug and invite her over for a movie night and order pizza and wine

keep_my_stuff · 2021-10-01T18:50:56+00:00

A scrote wrote this to pile on The Wall narrative.

tellmesomething11 · 2021-10-01T18:29:41+00:00

I remember when my ex started dating someone ten years younger, he was 39 and she was 29. And we were so different, she was very thin, white and a partier; I’m a curvy Latina, and I’m more focused on money lol. I’ll admit it crossed my mind that she was younger and childless and that probably appealed to my ex.

but I also remember how much I did for my ex and how exhausting he was. I was really nice to him and he abused me terribly. So, I just feel sorry for her and anyone he sucks in.
they’ll try to make you jealous but honestly it’s a blessing.

muffy2008 · 2021-10-01T19:03:47+00:00

This made me sad to read 😞

mesloh14 · 2021-10-01T20:24:23+00:00

These are the same men to leave their wife of 20 years for some “hot young blonde” or some other gross stereotype used by LVM, and try to baby trap them until they’re “too old” and it starts all over again.

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-10-01T18:53:45+00:00

He’s going to end up dying alone one day and wonder what he did wrong :)

Novemberinthechair · 2021-10-01T22:18:53+00:00

Is this a scrote's revenge fantasy? If not, he's a bloodsucker.

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-10-01T21:13:36+00:00

What a worthless POS. The new toy is going to eventually need combat pay. The reason the OP feels so "old" is likely from the toxic effects of living with a characterless douche. People with character don't monkey branch like that. If there had been genuine incompatibility all along, someone with character would talk about it and there wouldn't be the sudden violent transformation and surprise.

The fact that his personality changed so radically sounds the same as the porn zombie shift which suggests that his motives for pursuing the new flame were porn-esque and had nothing whatsoever to do with love even if the two things are frequently confused in pop culture. That was the supposed "existential crisis"-- just a way to make living through his "precious" dick sound lofty. It's actually quite nihilistic to use a deadly worldwide crisis as an excuse to betray, gaslight and mistreat people.

ellaellaellaayye · 2021-10-01T20:06:14+00:00

A 22-year-old will turn into a 33-year-old one day too. She will want what OP wanted, a desire for a real connection with commitment, a love that persists through age and disease, adversity and insecurity. And she too, like OP will never get it from a man like this. She might get the public affection, the social media posturing, the adornment, hell - she might even get a ring and a kid out of him, but never something real. Never will she get the kind of love that is a forever love. And that’s why I’ve never felt this immense loss when a narcissist shows himself and moves on to his newest and greatest (and always younger) woman. OP didn’t lose and the new girl didn’t win. In ten years, when she turns 33 and finds text messages on her man’s phone with some 22-year-old, she’ll get it too.

AbbyDean1985 · 2021-10-01T21:03:37+00:00

She's lucky the trash took itself out.

Davina33 · 2021-10-01T21:11:43+00:00

Interesting she said he was showing off like a shiny new car. I rather suspect that's all he sees women as. A shiny new object.

Papaverinum · 2021-10-01T17:51:36+00:00

Love is nonexistent these days. Men are truly incapable of love towards women...

LR_today · 2021-10-01T18:10:25+00:00

Pregnancy after 35 is NOT risky. I wish that stupid myth would die off so women would stop acting like they have an expiry date of 35 and then they can't function.

sweetcreamycream · 2021-10-01T22:21:06+00:00

This is the kind of person who is the reason why people don’t believe others when they say they actually need to work on themselves.
This reminds me of Season 2 Dirty John. Not the murder part, just the dating an extremely young woman right after separating.
Give yourself some time and be gentle on yourself. It feels like hell right now but it will pass. Your best friend will be deleting all forms of social media for now (or permanently, it’s actually pretty nice). Stay no contact. Don’t ask about them, don’t bring them up, simply distance yourself and focus on you.

trudith · 2021-10-02T04:37:28+00:00

“His youth” HAHAHAHAHA

PasDeTout · 2021-10-01T18:49:35+00:00

Is he the one saying that pregnancy at 35 is incredibly risky and used it as an excuse or is that coming from her: it’s not entirely clear. But anyway sis would be glad to know that’s just not true. In most Western countries these days, and especially in larger cities, a lot of people aren’t even marrying until their mid thirties and the babies come after that. There is no epidemic of dying mothers or infants (although the US is the only rich country where maternal mortality is rising but this is not related to age).

excusemeILY · 2021-10-01T22:21:16+00:00

This is why we let them chase. What a waste of time

CloacaDiddler · 2021-10-02T00:32:19+00:00

Ah men, up to the usual

FlockAroundtheClock · 2021-10-02T02:54:36+00:00

This is so heartbreaking. No man is worth torturing yourself like this.

FREEBRITNEYBITCHH · 2021-10-01T18:35:50+00:00

This is the most devastating pickmeisha narrative I’ve ever read

CynicalSucculent · 2021-10-02T02:38:48+00:00

Her friends are such ass, too.

lolipopbiter · 2021-10-01T22:28:47+00:00

Someone please comment her post to join us :( the girl really needs it!

DoversBlue · 2021-10-02T05:58:13+00:00

What a garden variety, fucking loser. I hope his relationship ends in the worst shitshow ever. The OP deserves at the very least to see what she dodged.

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-02T01:21:23+00:00

Dump him girl

fak_beauty_standards · 2021-10-02T20:17:43+00:00

2 years, damn. Another Waity Katie (that's what they used to call Katie Middleton).

Never get off the market without a ring on it (if you want if). Single until married. How come this ain't a popular knowledge? Fukk.

meanemad · 2021-10-04T18:13:15+00:00

The one who needs help is the 22-years old😬😬😂😂😂. The one who is writing just escaped a scrote, she just need to realize it, she is very lucky of only wasting two years in that idiot🤡

Title	Sis needs help
Author	Competitive_Bar8657
Upvotes	1235
Comments	119
Date	October 1, 2021 5:31 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pzcvsl/sis_needs_help/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/sis-needs-help.1073125 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073125

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