This comment thread reminded me why reddit is a terrible place for advice. This woman got cheated on and some of the comments are advising her to go to counseling before considering divorce. FDS would never.🙄

Apprehensive_Ad_7917 · 2020-12-14T14:59:51+00:00

All the ones where the women are cheating, even with kids involved, Reddit recommends leaving and exposing the cheater. When men cheat? Time to cOmMuNiCaTe.

vmuzondi · 2020-12-14T15:00:35+00:00

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vmuzondi · 2020-12-14T14:47:15+00:00

It’s insane the amount of comments I saw telling her to calm down and not do anything she would regret. I even saw one arguing against her telling her family and friends what her husband did because “she might want to reconcile and it will be hard when her support system is against him.” Anyways, women really need to stop coming to reddit for advice because this both sides forgiveness crap is getting insane.

LadyGrimes · 2020-12-14T15:27:45+00:00

He was begging her to hear him out? What's that asshole gonna say? He slipped and fell into her pussy with his dick?

Why men say shit like "I can explain" after being caught in bed with another woman? JFC There's nothing to explain you didn't love your woman enough to stay faithful that's what it is, dumb ass punk.

vmuzondi · 2020-12-14T14:53:44+00:00

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yomommahouse · 2020-12-14T15:32:09+00:00

Let's also remember this is probably the first time he got caught. NOT the first time he's cheated. Guaranteed.

lol-life-suks · 2020-12-14T15:44:24+00:00

I commented and told her to leave, can’t believe people are telling her to go counselling especially when he was telling her “not to throw everything away” like dude wtf YOU did that

TheOGJammies · 2020-12-14T15:31:43+00:00

I’m really struggling to understand these 20 yos who want to fuck 50 year old married men when they don’t have to. Is this some kind of super Pickmeisha?

purasangria · 2020-12-14T14:56:12+00:00

I divorced my husband in part because he repeatedly violated my trust. She needs to ditch him.

daria1994 · 2020-12-14T15:23:10+00:00

Oh, so when he was 36 he resented women his age, and chose to chase girls in their 20s? Now he approaches 50 and he still resents women his age, women 8 YEARS younger and chases girls in their 20s? SHOCKER!

FrequentPoetry · 2020-12-14T15:34:26+00:00

lmao @ the comments suggesting counseling

"hi. my husband is an asshole who was intimate with another woman while i was working 10 hour shifts everyday... how can i rationalize the unfathomable so he doesn't get dumped?"

Heartbreaking... he doesn't care about her. I hope this woman knows she will NEVER get past what he did. She's much better off alone.

BeamerAlert · 2020-12-14T15:05:13+00:00

I want so badly to reach through the screen and tell her.. SHE wouldn’t be throwing the marriage away if she left. He already did that with his actions. Now she just has to decide if she wants to waste even more of her life with someone she can never really trust again.

temproaryusername · 2020-12-14T16:05:08+00:00

I never understand when a man treats a woman like shit but begs her not to dump him. Its truly astounding. If she hadn't caught him, he'd cheat on her indefinitely, for years even, and she'd never know.

Do men have 0 shame? They really think women are standing around, happy and eager to be their support systems, even if they are being treated like dogs.

Completely incredible. Tfg I'm single.

Proud-Purpose · 2020-12-14T16:17:26+00:00

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myousername · 2020-12-14T17:18:09+00:00

In the wise words of Megan Thee Stallion, men who cheat are just greedy. They'll still be in love when they come home and want their wives to forgive them.

Always divorce men who cheat. We need to start enforcing consequences for their betrayal.

frustratedmarxistfem · 2020-12-14T17:35:50+00:00

Eww hes 50 years old. Besides being a cheater he's also having sex with little girls, is that a man you can face? His wife is already almost a decade younger(red flag) and hes gonna cheat with a woman who could be his child?

Secondly, dont he know his wife's schedule? That's awfully bold to cheat "the first time" at the end of the day in his own home knowing she'd be home soon. No way was this the first time, he got relaxed.

Descendant_of_Innana · 2020-12-14T16:07:18+00:00

Ahh, this is the beauty nuclear family males are so concerned about being destroyed. If she had a family around her this scrote would have been kicked to the curb in a blink of an eye. Now she's being gaslit into not talking to her support and instead wasting money on marriage counselling (which is yet another scam to keep women trapped in bad marriages). Hate it.

my_curated_life · 2020-12-14T21:31:03+00:00

Women need to constantly be in the position of power. A man needs to the continual and visual reminder that he is replaceable, and that you will leave. Be glamorous, make sure you always keep yourself maintained and have eyes looking at you when out with your man. He will always be reminded that if he does some stupid shit like this, not only are YOU out. But you are ONTO something better. Keep them scared and know you are always the prize.

Example-Opposite · 2020-12-14T16:38:05+00:00

This woman doesn’t need counseling, she needs to GTFO. If she is this conflicted, going to counseling would only exacerbate this conflict and probably convince her to stay. Unfortunately a lot of counselors encourage pick me behavior (from my personal experience), so she will get screwed over in the long run. She needs to trust her gut and run far, far away.

romantickitty · 2020-12-14T17:46:21+00:00

Not to be the covid police, but it's extra terrible for him to be bringing this person into their home to possibly pass the virus to everyone else living there without their knowledge. It's an added layer of irresponsibility on top of EVERYTHING else.

vmuzondi · 2020-12-14T17:36:54+00:00

Leave.

He'll keep doing it.

The more faithful she is, the more he'll resent her and cheat further.

Suspicious-Leg-1407 · 2020-12-14T15:19:11+00:00

Lord, someone's willing to take out the trash? LET THEM!

husheveryone · 2020-12-14T15:52:12+00:00

Hope she finds Chump Lady ASAP: “leave a cheater, gain a life!” 💕

2020-12-14T16:30:25+00:00

Yuck yuck yuck. 48M slept with 20F???? There goes my breakfast 🤢

o-no9 · 2020-12-14T17:26:23+00:00

I hope I never find myself in the position to know for sure, but I cannot imagine feeling anything but rage and betrayal. Why would you want to try and “save” the marriage? You’ve just seen that it was built on secrets and infidelity. None of the memories you have of your marriage are based in reality anymore, because there was a darker undercurrent that you were unaware of. I just don’t get it.

2020-12-14T17:32:19+00:00

If it was a guy and the woman had cheated the comments would be like ‘leave that bitch’. But we as women have to be understanding and listen to the mans side. I hope she leaves him honestly. She’s a fucking hero in a pandemic

2020-12-14T17:37:55+00:00

I forgave my ex for a one time thing and that one time became multiple. If that ever happens to me again I'm literally going ghost. Instantly out of my life.

Betty_Bottle · 2020-12-14T15:37:23+00:00

He says it was a one time thing... because he got caught. He planned for her to come over, he knew full well what he was doing.

What are the chances the girl had no idea he was even married?

Proud-Purpose · 2020-12-14T18:11:09+00:00

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faux_naturale · 2020-12-14T18:08:36+00:00

If a man cheats once, he’ll cheat again. How are you going to justify your choice to stay when you catch him the second time? Or the third?

galian84 · 2020-12-14T16:28:20+00:00

Absolutely not...cheating (and abuse) are the ultimate forms of disrespect. It doesn’t seem like they have kids, so divorce should absolutely be an option.

I didn’t read the comments but why should she forgive him? Guarantee if it was the other way around, Redditors would be telling the guy to divorce her.

2020-12-14T16:57:37+00:00

When my ex refused to see me at all during Covid, I wrote a post on relationships asking for advice (around mid-July so I hadn’t seen him for four months). The advice was overwhelmingly positive and in favor of me trying to be more understanding of my ex who probably just had really had anxiety. Looking back, I went to Reddit because they told me what I wanted to hear which was his behavior was completely normal and I shouldn’t leave.

Someone in a ten year marriage shouldn’t be consulting Reddit for advice. I feel like half the commenters are probably teenagers. This situation sucks and I can’t pretend to know how I’d feel or what I’d want to do in the moment. I hope she goes to counseling for herself to sort through her feelings and ultimately leave his stupid ass.

2020-12-14T18:22:45+00:00

One time thing my ass! If they have been tagged in a photo going back a year, this has happened multiple times before. Also he is old enough to be her father! Disgusting!

That man just cares about himself and his penis and nothing else. No amount of “communicate” will change that.

The fact that the other woman is sleeping with a married man twice as old as her, and in THEIR marital bed too makes me think she, too, has issues. I know a few women that sleep with married men and they usually love drama (why else would they sleep with a married guy) or want to prove that she is “better” than the wife. Also the age!!! No 20 year old I knew wanted to sleep with a 48 year old, no matter how good looking he may have been.

I hope this wife divorces his ass and sues for as much as possible.

Pahapan · 2020-12-14T19:35:15+00:00

He also said he didn't want to throw away everything we have.

i.e. he doesn't want his comfortable life upturned in which he's probably leeching off of her financially and emotionally. I'd bet good money she comes home after her grueling shifts and cleans house and cooks.

If your spouse cheats on you they don't love you anymore and they probably never really loved you to begin with. You don't emotionally destroy someone you care about.

just-peepin-at-u · 2020-12-14T17:22:52+00:00

Nurses make decent money too. I would bet he was trying to impress this girl with their nice house and things his wife works so hard to provide.

atuan · 2020-12-14T18:00:19+00:00

Has anyone ever overcome cheating? I'm just literally asking and wondering if it's possible. I feel like if cheating happens it's because the foundation of the relationship was not real to begin with. The trust was a level of falseness or fakeness and the cheater finally "broke" and needed to "be real" if that makes sense. I remember feeling the temptation to cheat in my shitting narc relationship and I felt so guilty but now looking back on it it was because he was so fake and not real with me our whole relationship that I knew something was missing. He also had an emotional affair at one point as well. There was never that love or trust to begin with and the urge to cheat came when the facade couldn't be maintained anymore.

nyclaurco · 2020-12-14T18:08:23+00:00

i always get a sinking feeling when the affair partner is 18-20. there is a strong possibility that the man began grooming her when she was still a minor.

Striking_Play_1393 · 2020-12-14T17:48:22+00:00

Besides the fact that it's absolutely disgusting and she should take everything they have and kick him out, I'm just wondering: TF IS THE TWENTY YEAR OLD THINKING?? I mean her self esteem must be in the gutter if fucking a man 30 years senior who is also MARRIED and she knows about it would be my absolute worst nightmare at any age, leave alone being 20 when you can fuck and actually date ANYBODY!

BananaSlugGhost · 2020-12-14T19:36:56+00:00

I can’t believe she’s talking about not being as slim as she used to be when this man is 4 times older than 12 year aged Glenlivet and is fucking someone not even old enough to drink.

eatchickpeas · 2020-12-14T22:19:04+00:00

why did he throw away his marriage and partner? because he fundamentally did not see his wife of 11 years as a human being with feelings. men dont see women as humans, we are sex toys for them. him and most men like marriage because it essentially means you have a sex toy only you can access and at any time

really think about it, why do married men suddenly find themselves throwing away their marriages for women they dont even know? marriage is only ever about sex to them, they DONT CARE about us at all. he wants to have all the sex but also want his wife to be faithful and always available. his wife was okay to him but now hes got access to a younger more naive woman he will exploit that option for as long as possible. when she gets tired then he'll suddenly want to 'repair his marriage'

UshiiMoe · 2020-12-14T17:08:31+00:00

He didn't want to throw away everything they had but he literally just threw it all in her face.

Lavender_flow · 2020-12-14T17:26:18+00:00

"one time thing" SURE, LOL. YEAH. Lol, throw this whole man out. He is a cheater and a liar. He got caught redhanded and he has the fucking NERVE to keep lying.

Striking_Play_1393 · 2020-12-14T17:50:44+00:00

Why of course!! This is the very first and only time he's done it and that was a pure mistake! Poor guy, he didn't mean it! /S

Poggersisms · 2020-12-14T19:07:41+00:00

Wait, hold on? How is HE supposed to know she didn’t want to be cheated on!!

Evil feminists!! You need to communicate. It’s her fault for doing (x) and not doing (y) you’re all just toxic! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

no_pwname · 2020-12-14T19:21:53+00:00

If the genders were reversed they would lose their shit. She would be the biggest whore in their eyes. I do not understand why so many women go to these shitty subs for advise. If you just pay a little attention they (loser dudes) never take your side if you are a woman.

N2Gen · 2020-12-14T21:22:51+00:00

I have an idea what to do. Divorce his sorry ass and take half his shit.

Fitncurly · 2020-12-14T21:23:02+00:00

She should fuck hot younger guys with tighter bodies and harder dicks and see how he feels...and then still divorce him 😆

Wkndwhorechata · 2020-12-14T22:13:08+00:00

It's the having sex in their maritial bed for me.

GabbaG0ul · 2020-12-14T19:29:53+00:00

So gross. A woman almost 30 years his junior when he already has a wife with a considerable age gap. And she’s successful to boot! Kick his ass to the curb, sis!

ashleecakes · 2020-12-14T20:27:29+00:00

Invite this woman!

2020-12-14T21:43:37+00:00

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Arcaii · 2020-12-14T23:04:06+00:00

When women cheat, everyone says cut off all communication and leave instantly. Maybe even shame her in front of her family. Throw in a little public humiliation. When men cheat, it's because men have needs you didn't fulfill, what else was he supposed to do? Don't throw it all away! CoMmUniCaTe bEtTer.

tiavarga · 2020-12-14T16:56:50+00:00

Ah, hell no!

Thatretardedgirl · 2020-12-14T17:41:47+00:00

"I don't want to throw away everything we have either." Nah, he already threw it all away by cheating and he knew what he was doing too. She needs to leave him as soon as she can.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-12-14T23:10:09+00:00

She doesn't have to throw it all away. He already threw it away to screw a woman who is a child to them. It's gone.

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-12-15T01:10:52+00:00

The only opportunity she missed was the one to throw them both out in the street in the buff and lock the door behind her

cowburners · 2020-12-14T19:39:22+00:00

Lots of this happening in Vancouver :< A lot of single female TFWs, foreign students and outright prostitutes (either escorts or massage parlors) want to stay in the Canada and they don't seem to care if they guy they set their sights on to sponsor them is married. Plenty, including the former mayor of Vancouver, have left their wives for much younger Asian females. There is almost always a massive age gap. Since Canada has more immigration per capita than any other country and has for 30 years, this is a major deal and it is not being addressed by the immigration system which is frankly racist and misogynistic. You can't get a student visa if you are a female African engineering student or AI programmer because they might not leave Canada but a Chinese (or other Asian) prostitute with not even a grade 12 education can get a visa. But we have no immigration stream for sex workers. And Canadian woman tend to not want to deal with it because they don't want to seem racist. I don't know where OP is from but the age 20 and 48 triggered me.

skymermaidd · 2020-12-14T17:03:45+00:00

Wow he’s ballsy eh. Nah dump his ass. Hes the failure not you. Choose yourself.

PasDeTout · 2020-12-14T20:04:55+00:00

They always advise counselling even when things are past that. It’s annoying.

UnhappyMedia · 2020-12-14T20:25:54+00:00

I understand the suggestion for counseling if you’re having problems communicating and asking for what you want. But I will NEVER understand why family and friends suggest counseling when something catastrophic happens. The fuck are you being counseled on? Speaking from experience 😑

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