Do women really want commitment?

Ok-Map-7596 · 2023-03-27T02:47:54+00:00

Commitment from an unattractive male is pretty worthless unless he's the one paying for everything in the relationship.

wtknight · 2023-03-27T02:55:58+00:00

Women want commitment from men who are attractive enough to them.

Of course women realize men above their league are unlikely to commit to them. Women are trying to figure out what their actual attractiveness is, though. They are just as uncertain of it as men are, probably more so since so many men are willing to fake emotional attachment to a woman in order to have sex with her.

87AudreyHorne · 2023-03-27T02:55:14+00:00

I think modern women want commitment but only from a guy who is better looking and makes more money than her. If she can’t land that then she would rather be single.

Dark days ahead for western men. Praying for y’all

WYenginerdWY · 2023-03-27T03:04:44+00:00

Let's give a 5/10 man 2 options. Option 1 is a 5/10 woman. Option 2 is a 8/10 woman.

Most 5/10 men will chase the 8/10 woman

It's that simple. People like attractiveness.

Key-Subject-9622 · 2023-03-27T03:43:15+00:00

If you’re presented a 5/10 and a 8/10, anyone (man or woman) would naturally go for the 8/10. Just because someone is inclined to go for a partner that ticks their boxes doesn’t mean they can’t expect commitment. From a female perspective, men aren’t placed in “leagues”. Of course, there are your celebrities, stock bros and incels - but they’re moreso categories rather than a league.

There’s a lot of discourse in public forums about the desire for “medium ugly men”. They aren’t ugly, they just aren’t chads. The entire concept of a “league” is something men assume women think.

So yes, women really do want commitment. It’s a catch-22 where if one seeks a relationship, they risk being “pumped and dumped”. Yet closing yourself off and not giving someone a chance doesn’t really put one out there.

As for men “above their league” being unlikely to commit, I can say from both my own, and my friends experiences the that no matter the “league” of a man - if he wants to pump and dump he will. If a man doesn’t want to commit, they won’t no matter their “ranking” out of 10.

That being said, what one considers a 5/10 another considers a 10/10 for both men and women. One persons trash is another persons treasure

gate18 · 2023-03-27T03:37:15+00:00

Let's give a 5/10 woman 2 options. Option 1 is a 5/10 man. Option 2 is a 8/10 man.

Why? :) why not a 6/10 or a 7/10 or a 4/10? or would that break your little hypothesis?

Do women really want commitment?

Yes. They also what the 8/10 guy.

Do women realize that men above their league are unlikely to commit to them?

Do you realise tons of men under and between their league might not like committing either? Or did you ask all the 8s and the 5s and the 5s said "yes".

And how is it that all these women that say they get used for sex seem to all be 5s and everyone they go out with is an 8? It sounds madeup doesn't it?

SteveSan82 · 2023-03-27T05:02:35+00:00

Women want excitement. Committing means you settled so she loses interest

Lolabird2112 · 2023-03-27T02:21:55+00:00

You’re asking for a definitive answer from all women based on a hypothetical you pulled out of your ass?

KikiYuyu · 2023-03-27T02:44:25+00:00

Do women really want commitment?

Obviously some do. And some don't really want relationships like that. There's no magic answer to give you that covers all women.

I have a hard time understanding why questions like this get asked here.

Do women realize that men above their league are unlikely to commit to them?

Depends. Leagues aren't an objective thing. Plenty of people have overlap in how they categorize leagues but it's not like it's some actual thing that exists that can be measured.

Women who are not delusional know that they aren't going to bump into a bad boy billionaire who inexplicably falls in love with them. I'll say that much. I don't believe a man who is merely more attractive counts as being above or below anyone's league.

despisedlove2 · 2023-03-27T02:23:57+00:00

Yes, as long as it is profitable for them.

hazelinside · 2023-03-27T03:24:21+00:00

Some do the same way some men do. You can’t really give a definitive answer that fits ALL women, because there will be always be outliers. You can discuss general trends, but never a set definite.

Bekiala · 2023-03-27T02:44:43+00:00

Some women want commitment and some don't similar to men.

Hopefully people who want commitment find each other.

Boolzay · 2023-03-27T09:26:50+00:00

They do, just like you hope to have sex with girls out of your league, they want men out of their league to commit. They want to be the special someone who can "fix" them, it's not impossible, just hard.

justforlulz12345 · 2023-03-27T19:35:04+00:00

Only from Chad.

/thread

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2023-03-27T02:55:38+00:00

Women want comittment from high value men. When they don't get it they either stay single or settle for average men.

MistyMaisel · 2023-03-27T02:35:43+00:00

Yes, I've always been seeking the love of my life to commit to and to commit to me and eventually marry and have children, cats, and now goats and chickens together (that Biden America).

My experience as a 6-7 out of ten (just speaking on appearance, most men at a young age are bastards who don't want to commit and are extremely and egregiously shitty to women and blame them for their bad behavior that they admit when they're older wasn't great. The ones who do want to commit only want it out of insecurity and a desire to "lock it down". It has nothing to do with genuine affection. And they're often very shitty to you once they've committed because men seem to think that giving commitment is some huge gift. And for the record this isn't appearance based. The number of ugly and average players is comical. That's not a trait which only attractive men have, after all, as you point out, most people can sustain some degree of delusion.

Now that I'm closing on thirty, I'd say most men are looking to commit, the problem is that most of them aren't very good people because of how they've spent their 20s treating women and because they've crystallized into permanent arrested development.

I got lucky and found a good one and got what I wanted and he's leagues hotter than any other lesser man I've dated. This whole idea that hot dudes don't commit is just not true. And the idea that commitment is some gift which makes a man inherently worth time is just not true. And the idea that ugly or average dudes give commitment more is also false.

mackenzie013_02 · 2023-03-27T02:28:12+00:00

Women probably don’t complain about the 8/10 “pumping & dumping” as they probably know it’s just sex. A 5/10 isn’t even dating the 8/10 in order to be dumped.

They tend to complain about the 5/10 “pumping & dumping” them.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-03-27T10:35:06+00:00

i cant believe it has to be explained that women want "commitment" from a man they desire and love, not just "commitment" from any man in the abstract. what has happened to everyone's brains in the past ten years?

ashpr0ulx · 2023-03-27T02:19:05+00:00

i like commitment. but i also never feel like i’ve been used for sex, and i’ve never required commitment before sex- in fact, i’ve never had established commitment before sex

idk. commitment and sex don’t intertwine much for me

daddysgotanew · 2023-03-27T05:46:53+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Gilmoregirlin · 2023-03-27T10:45:11+00:00

The problem is that men lie and women believe them. So if women are at fault for anything it's believing men. I mean there are plenty of women that are just looking for a hook up at that point in their lives but instead of chasing those women to fulfill their sexual only needs, they go after women that clearly articulate that they only want a committed relationship, and lie and say they want one and yes this is wrong on their parts. That's why so many women just presume a man is lying to them now, making it harder overall for men to date no matter their level of attractiveness.

Deshaun-Kobe · 2023-03-27T02:23:03+00:00

Yes but not from majority of Men obviously

Also why commit to women at all ?

Most women nowadays don't add any value outside to a men's life outside sex, so your gonna get a really bad deal committing to women nowadays

As a young age dude with options you should only be pumping and dumping, that's it

The question we have to ask instead is do women deserve commitment ?

No-Rough-7390 · 2023-03-27T02:17:49+00:00

To your last question, they do but they are the main character in their own movie. As a result, the man should commit to them and if he doesn’t it’s because he’s a dick, misogynist, whatever the word they feel that day. I’ve met very few women that introspectively look back and think “I really fucked that up and need to improve”. Hence why all their exes are somehow narcissists.

Love ‘em for what they are.

DisasterPeace7 · 2023-03-27T03:00:55+00:00

From the guy who ticks all the boxes yes, but even then that may not be enough I'm noticing that the current trend with women seems to be

Have a mini / big hoe phase in their teens / early 20s
Marry the " husband material" guy in their mid ish 20s, pop out a kid or 2
Once the kids are grown, have another phase ( if they're attractive enough) in their 40s

If I hadn't have found the woman I did when I did there's no way in hell I would have gotten married , generally speaking is just not worth it these days for a man with his shit together

jimmiefan48forever · 2023-03-27T02:26:12+00:00

Women want commitment from men better at life than them to take care of them.

KayRay1994 · 2023-03-27T03:31:08+00:00

i love that you’re talking about the 5/10 woman chasing the 8/10 man instead of the 5/10 man in this hypothetical even though pretty much every 5/10 man would do the same thing. You may aswell have said “nice guys finish last :(“ and it would’ve been more impactful

deste_eloise · 2023-03-27T02:37:16+00:00

I’m not really after commitment, but all three past sexual partners I had who I thought will be casual turned into LTRs. So your assumptions are kinda wrong.

Bunny_and_chickens · 2023-03-27T10:09:15+00:00

My husband is way out of my league and we've been together for years now.

Safinated · 2023-03-27T04:16:32+00:00

We do, you just don’t see the boring, reasonable, normal and successful. Cuz who’s gonna get upset over that?

Brilliant_Look4387 · 2023-03-27T08:19:40+00:00

This whole argument is repeated do often that it's turning into a myth. And it truly is mythological due to the imagination it takes to make it.

Women don't chase after men. Some do, but that is statistically irrelevant. The only analogous to chasing would be that someone women get emotionally hung up on men that don't want relationships.
5/10 guys (or just guys that are uglier than the girls) pump and dump to, if you give them a chance. Nobody enters a committed relationship because their partner is hot. Ok, maybe if she is 10/10, but a guy who is 7/10 won't commit just because his partner is also 7/10.

mlo9109 · 2023-03-27T02:32:56+00:00

Depends on the woman. I do. But apparently, that makes me a prude and traitor to my gender, depending on who you ask.

meangingersnap · 2023-03-27T05:47:56+00:00

Idk I’m an open relationship type gal but my man is veeerrryyyy monogamous and I loved him enough to commit, I think it’s a personal, although women tend to be on the monogamous side.

According_Talk_3084 · 2023-03-27T14:15:57+00:00

Men are being accused of trying to have sex with as many women as possible. This accusation is alright because it reflects what is observable.

Women claim to want commitment, yet whenever "no sex before marriage" is brought up, both men and women start attacking that person.

relish5k · 2023-03-27T14:25:15+00:00

Yes, women want commitment.

No, women do not realize that men above their league are unlikely to commit to them, because they don't see them as being above their league. Women are bad at being able to discern sexual interest from romantic interest, and assume that sexual interest from a man means that she and the man are in the same league.

Comment: many of these questions around women's preferences are phrased like SAT logic problems. This shows a poor understanding of actual human behavior.

badgersonice · 2023-03-27T22:37:34+00:00

Let's give a 5/10 woman 2 options.

How is a 5/10 woman supposed to know she’s a 5/10 in men’s eyes? I’m not clear how men think women should gain this knowledge.

Men know who is a 5/10 to them based on their own boner feelz, and they can guess what their rank is based on how easy it is to get women to have sex with them.

Do women realize that men above their league are unlikely to commit to them?

But how do you think women are should learn what their league is without dating?

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KamuiObito · 2023-03-27T04:05:48+00:00

Nah they just want something useful from you.. but that’s why they usually dating a guy a couple years older and taller and wealthier then themselves they want sb that can teach them life while also being the mature one..they want to feel mentally/socially above you but below you in every other regard..men can’t be dumber,broker,shorter,less status then them..but you have exceptions cuz life isn’t so linear…

SecondEldenLord · 2023-03-27T07:25:48+00:00

Yes, women do want commitment, but only from the high value man, which is very unlikey for that man to commit to them and thus they become and alpha widow: keep chasing the man that doesn't want her while ignoring the man that is in her league and wants her.

fuchsiaeuRIor4683 · 2023-03-27T09:42:01+00:00

All women are hypergamous they all want chads this should be old news by now.

Zombombaby · 2023-03-27T11:50:18+00:00

Some of us do, some of us don't. We aren't hive minds who share the exact same values, upbringing, personal life goals or personalities. It's weird when men think we do.

wtffellification · 2023-03-27T12:32:41+00:00

I think women only value loyalty in a man when he has options and chooses not to excercise them, in a sense that the value of loyalty is proportionate to the willingness/ability to resist temptations that threaten it

LoopyPro · 2023-03-27T12:39:14+00:00

Once she knows about the possibility of sleeping with option 2, option 1 would mean settling for less. At that point, the cat is out of the bag. A 5/10 guy will never be good enough.

The misunderstanding lies in the assumption that sleeping with a 8/10 guy is the same as being able to get commitment from that 8/10 guy. As guys are often told that they aren't entitled to sex, more or less the same goes for women: they are not entitled to commitment.

To answer your question: they do want commitment, but there are more important criteria. They want commitment from the best men they're able to get, and are willing to pass on guaranteed commitment with 5/10 guys for a smaller chance with a 8/10 as long as she has the time. When the metaphorical wall is nearing and the window closes, she will settle for that 5/10 guy because at that point, that's the best she can get. It's better than nothing.

96tillinfinity_ · 2023-03-27T12:42:57+00:00

Women want men they want and don’t care for men they don’t

Men want women they want and don’t care for (would still fuck) women they dont

We are the same. The difference is men have a wider pool of women they want thanks to testosterone and women have a smaller pool thanks to hypergamy

This is women’s dating lives hierarchy

1) commitment with attractive man I like 2) no commitment but sex with attractive men I like 3) being single 4) commitment with men I don’t find attractive

And I cant blame them for that cause it makes sense. Its not that women don’t want commitment. They just would rather fuck men they find attractive even if it doesn’t result in a relationship rather than for themselves to get with a guy they feel no attraction for

Chemical_Major_1403 · 2023-03-27T13:24:51+00:00

This is interesting.,It's called the pigmailian effects:

_ A 8/10 man's actions will decide and impact this women's value in the dating market ,if a woman can make even one of those 8/10 men to commit to her or achieve a relationship where she isn't pressured to sex for the sake of keeping him, she will never drop from that league,she will start believing she is an 8 or a 9 woman and no one can change that . And with the current social pressure that society is implying on men to lower their standards I think it may work

_Second: The situation i use to describe situation like this: An average father of an average girl who get in the age of 15 is becoming available in market but not only the dating market even the sexual market, in the dating market she can get a 6/10 or slightly above average at most but in sexual market she is an easy prey for technically any man and this is why most fathers are protective towards their daughters and give misandrist vibes all the time.

daddysgotanew · 2023-03-27T13:36:15+00:00

From the men that don’t want them, yes.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-03-27T14:31:04+00:00

Do women really want commitment?

Yes, but not at all times in their lives and not from every man.

Do women realize that men above their league are unlikely to commit to them? Yes, and some men below their league are unlikely to commit to them either. So when you find one you are into, and he is into you, and you both want to commit, you commit.

2023-03-27T16:38:35+00:00

They aren’t doing anything wrong. Imagine if the roles were reversed and you had an opportunity to go out with/fuck women above your pay grade every day.

Would you continue to get clam-slammed by them in hopes of bagging one, or get clam-slammed by 3s who are probably going to dump you too?

anon018274031 · 2023-03-27T16:41:43+00:00

Yeah we want commitment, from someone we are compatible with. Comparability includes attraction (although attraction is very personal, and most average women are looking for average men).

Medium_Let143 · 2023-03-27T17:29:34+00:00

We aren't a monolith. We all want different things, and usually at different times.

prizefighterstudent · 2023-03-27T21:49:44+00:00

People want to stay in whatever makes them comfortable. If they have a sure thing in front of them that they know will pay off or make them feel good, they'll do it. That's why tons of chicks will have sex with Chad but make Jimmy wait -- low-risk, guaranteed return.

The thing people refuse to contemplate over or admit is that something is always lost whenever you commit to something or move forward -- in today's day and age, most people aren't willing to take risks to commit to jobs, people, or ideas because they internally know this. When you get married, commit to your craft, or have a kid, something is always lost, and it's usually your child-like, hedonistic life and the idea you had of yourself. And that is damn scary.

So the truth is that nobody wants commitment unless they're sure. And certainty is hard to come by these days. Just look at how fast the world moves for reference. People don't want to shed the things that make them feel comfortable, even if it's bad for them. Modernity has made this possible where overt reliance on one another has whithered away.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-03-27T21:49:48+00:00

Do women really want commitment?

Some do. Some really do. Some (like me) aren't interested in it but if offered it will occasionally agree to it.

Do women realize that men above their league are unlikely to commit to them?

Leagues are subjective. He may think she's out of his league. She may think he's out of hers. They might still have a good connection either way.

Rates of infidelity continue to go down. Most men (80%) and most women (87%) will never cheat.

Commitment is ultimately desired by a majority of people, but a shrinking one.

cassowaryy · 2023-03-27T22:06:16+00:00

When women say they want commitment they mean from a guy they like. Usually they are drawn to the top males. What’s so hard to understand? Obviously they could get commitment from someone in their range, but would you happily commit to someone who doesn’t meet your standards? Most likely no

Title	Do women really want commitment?
Author	skyrimpill
Upvotes	57
Comments	198
Date	March 27, 2023 2:15 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12380bg/do_women_really_want_commitment/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-women-really-want-commitment.1207844 https://theredarchive.com/post/1207844

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