This sub makes no sense considering were all from different countries and different cultures

_Woodrow_ · 2021-11-05T17:17:13+00:00

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DXBrigade · 2021-11-05T20:17:54+00:00

I studied law in France and it actually is more subtle than that. The law doesn't explicitely says that spouse should have sex but that they should share a communal life. Sex duty is actually an interpretation by the judge. Refusing sex to your spouse can be considered a fault if it leads to years of deadbedroom, however marital rape is also crime.

Also, if your spouse treat you like shit, you should leave.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2021-11-05T16:46:48+00:00

This is just a bunch of anonymous strangers. A lot of them could be lying about their experiences just to troll. Also people are way more hostile and less understanding when they can hide behind anonymity. So I think people just know not to take this "100%" seriously. Simply because you have no idea who you're talking to, where they're from, if there a good person, etc.

chalkandapples · 2021-11-05T17:48:35+00:00

It's not going to be much of a debate if everyone has the same opinions. I enjoy the different opinions here, and it does give me insight into other people's lives that are different from my own. The only downside is that sometimes people get very passionate and worked up on their views, and treats your different views as a direct invalidation of their views and get upset.

wtknight · 2021-11-05T17:03:57+00:00

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h1shman · 2021-11-05T16:42:45+00:00

A girl told me here that she and all the women she knows never give out their contact info to guys even if they are interested and I just couldn't fathom how odd that is at a college age considering how often I approach women and get number. Like that's how you meet people outside OLD and friends lol.

I've also heard on Nordic areas first dates aren't a thing. Like you don't meet to get to know each other. You have sex and if the sex works you go out on a date. Wild stuff

Uglinessisreal · 2021-11-05T16:54:46+00:00

I suspect this is the case in regard to the whole "sex after x many dates" discussion I keep having. I think I'm talking to people from more conservative cultures/areas.

Where I'm from waiting for sex isn't really a thing. People tend to jump into bed with each other fairly quickly, then see how well the relationship progresses from there. In the context of that, I feel like if a woman I was dating didn't want to have sex with me she'd be sending me a clear message. I can see how that would be different in a place where sex before marriage was discouraged, or other similar attitudes.

Fwiw I've seen my attitude from women as much as from men, they don't want to date a guy for months then find out he can't eat pussy lol.

restartthepotatoes · 2021-11-05T17:38:34+00:00

To be honest, I don’t think that’s a common view in French that guy was probably just weird but what you’re saying is 100% correct

Cool-Experience7357 · 2021-11-05T19:39:12+00:00

Yeah, I came to that realization too. Which is funny because this is the first thing I consider in other subs. Probably due what's being talked about. Had an argument in a different sub with this dude about women's rights. Dude didn't tell me until we were in the thick of it that he was from India.

They should make it so we can tag where we live in this sub, so that that can be taken into consideration when posting or making a comment.

FenaPugi · 2021-11-05T20:02:30+00:00

I do think on particular subs like this we should have a user flair or tag showing our gender, nationality, race, and age for sure.

xKalisto · 2021-11-05T18:25:46+00:00

from France who told me that in his country, by law sex is a marital duty.

Which is bullshit in the first place lol. There is no law.

There is a divorce case where a French woman lost and has been found "at fault" for the divorce in part because she failed at her 'marital duty' sex but that isn't the same as a law and the case is being brought to European Court of Human Rights because it's stupid in the first place.

AtomicMGTOW · 2021-11-06T02:18:44+00:00

There are plenty of studies/stats, especially in psych that show differences between men and women that are stable across time and cross-culturally.

For example, Women tend to be higher in agreeableness and neuroticism than men; as for the other side of the coin, it can be said that cross-culturally men are lower and agreeableness and neuroticism.

Jordan Peterson explains this in a way that shouldn't piss anyone off. He says that if you took 50 men and 50 women and put them in a room and I asked you to pick the most (pick any of the traits above, let's say neurotic) if you picked a woman you'd be right 60% of the time. If the test was to pick the most disagreeable person and I picked a man, I'd be right 60% of the time.

We need to understand that being to agreeable OR being too disagreeable are both bad. In the end you will either be more likely to be walked on or more likely to be abandoned.

These are the key differences between men and women. And I think that's why PPD exists.

IMO, it seems to me that a woman is more likely to 'go along to get along' and men are more likely to say no just to say no and neither are truly realizing that they both tend that way. And that if we could explore these things more without trying so hard to say "not all" or "it depends" or pointing at culture, we could all learn some shit about ourselves.

Back to the thing about culture... I believe that culture makes the laws; not the other way around. When culture changes, so do the laws.

There was a story a couple years back where a woman didn't do so well in divorce court because she stopped fucking (but let's just say, providing affection) to her husband.

Why is it that a woman can stop providing affection but if a man withholds finances he's an abuser?

Men NEED affection (including sex) WAY more than women do. It's one of the reasons we would get married... the idea is "I'll lock down this one piece of sex because it's better than no sex" but a woman gets to withhold EXACTLY what he wants and no one says she's abusing him? But if he withheld money from her, he's abusive?

Well, money is an object and although plenty of women gain access too money by trading sex, she's allowed to stop at any time but he can't stop providing?

I'm getting a bit off topic but I have to go a bit further...

Are you a dog lover? Did you know that there are dogs with these anal glands that need to be 'expressed'? Here's a video I didn't watch https://youtu.be/VXpIYcWpkBo

Ya know... there are women out there that would take one of these dogs and gladly EXPRESS it's anal glands every fucking week while leaving their husband to suffer... and worse, if she catches him watching porn; freak out and even worse, if he cheats, she uses his infidelity against him.

In short, there are women that love animals, even their man (apparently) but when his testicular glands need expressing he's either got to earn it or go it alone... and then if he goes it alone, he's an asshole... and if he goes with someone that WILL take care of his glands... well then he's a cheater.

Ever been a kid who wanted a dog and mom or dad made you promise you'd walk him?

There are women out there (lots of them) that would ostensibly take on the responsibilities of 'having/owing a man' but they don't want the responsibilities. I usually think of some ultra rich girl that has a stable full of horses but had other people tend to their needs. She takes it on rides (the fun part) but wants NOTHING to do with, ya know, feeding it and massaging it or expressing it's glands.

That's what this forum is to me. We're talking about real differences between the males and the females that go beyond the plumbing. And how, beyond plumbing, the needs of men are dismissed while the needs of women are not just met but revered, exalted, REQUIRED and the full responsibility of man.

The crude, crass but real needs of a man are "Empty my balls, fill my stomach." So basically a woman that wants to keep a man knows full well what is required to keep him. And since she wants him (or wanted him) she must keep this up or lose him. But when she fails to maintain her animal.... somehow it's till his fault and he must still provide his services of provision and protection to her and/or the children. And he would have, if she fulfilled her end of the bargain.

This is the reason for the RED(PURP)BLUE pill. ACROSS cultures!

We have to keep talking about the stuff that happens NO MATTER WHERE you are.

harold_shipman_gp · 2021-11-05T17:33:44+00:00

UK here. Very hard for me to understand the (mainly) American sexlessness culture that seems so prominent on PPD. Lots of men who have never even had a kiss, lots of women who are virgins or had one partner.

Not what I'm used to. Sure, there are people who are more successful and less successful with the opposite sex, but in general: no one really has any problems pairing up.

Hence, the attitudes of many of the posters in this place is completely alien to me.

angerproblemsTM · 2021-11-05T20:08:27+00:00

Yeahhhh I don’t think that’s a very common view in France anyway. That hasn’t been a ‘law’ in France since like the early 20th century at least. It was some Court case brought to the EU anyway because the ruling was stupid.

Lot of people in these comments floating on the ‘importance’ of sex. Maybe romance really is dead.

PopularBug5 · 2021-11-07T18:03:37+00:00

I am from Asia and I just find it amusing that there are some here who fetishize that the women here are basically bang-a-maids waiting for Captain-save-a-hoe with dollar bills from across the Pacific Ocean.

I will tell you all this, and you guys won't like what I say to you. Girls here in Asia who chase dollars are prostitutes, gold diggers and scammers.

And no, they are not compelled by culture to stay at home and forgo study and work. That's lower class shit. Middle and upper class Asian ladies aren't like that at all.

kittenated · 2021-11-05T19:29:32+00:00

I'm in the UK. The only men I know who are sexless are very obviously autistic. But then I also know quite a few autistic men who are getting sex or are married or in relationships... A lot of the chat here seems very American. Even down to the "Chads" and "Stacies". Lol. I'm struggling to imagine what the British named versions of those would even be.

MisterJose · 2021-11-05T20:28:47+00:00

Forget countries. Different ages, different experiences...different amounts of medication people are forgetting to take.

Kanonicman · 2021-11-05T21:27:29+00:00

Congratulations on the realization.

Non-consenting sexual relations within marriage are criminalized in France.

It seems that a an outdated law was interpreted incorrectly in a small amount of cases.

(In France) There have been several other rulings against spouses who refused sex: around 10 cases in the last 20 years according to Mattiussi.

RabidusRex · 2021-11-06T04:08:44+00:00

I've made this observation before here, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. The views on this sub are completely focused on American and western culture and ideology. I moved to Asia (from America) a couple years ago, where the "rules of engagement" are totally different. PPD is sadly nostalgic for me. We have our own relationship issues here where I live, no doubt, but it's a completely different playing field.

I see people here talk about men and women in such absolute terms as if their way of life is the only one that exists. In reality, their point of view is shared by a small percentage of the global population.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-11-05T16:41:12+00:00

If your husband treats you like shit why stay married?

XtoDoubt · 2021-11-05T17:04:56+00:00

The point is to test the core ideas. The principals carry over, no matter what the culture is.

Wildhouse83 · 2021-11-05T19:38:12+00:00

Wellm the biology of men and women is basically the same worldwide. Only the circumstances are different.

By the way, if the woman is not obliged to sex, the man should not be obliged to pay her anything.

j_arbuckle2012 · 2021-11-05T20:14:56+00:00

People here deliberately hide behind pseudonyms and cause as much hurt as they can for kicks.

Seriously expecting anything other than bottom-tier entertainment from this place is a huge mistake.

Let's not leave out the ACTUAL PSYOPS perpetrated by legit ideologically motivated NSAs.

PPD is the worst place to look for genuine conversation.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-11-05T16:57:35+00:00

yes almost all the men here are foreign now

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-11-05T17:22:24+00:00

Or if you treat your husband like shit should he then be faithful to you?

Bandit174 · 2021-11-05T17:14:25+00:00

IIRC the last time they did a survey the demographics were predominantly American. Yeah there are some people from other countries but not enough to really skew things too much.

Prize-Thought-4205 · 2021-11-05T17:59:03+00:00

In America most women earn a good living salary entirely on their own or own their own businesses nowadays so they don't need to rely on men on anything (although most would still prefer the man they date/marry make more money than them &/or pays for more of the bills) MOST American women are like this, NOT ALL.

One might argue in America this doesn't matter at all though being the buying power young people have is so extraordinary small. 45k a year isn't much in America anymore, even in 100k a year isn't much anymore especially in mid cost of living areas. 150k - 250k is new middle class yearly income for a single person. 250k - 500k joint income is actually doing well and having the affordable living you'd have making as an average person making 50k in 1970s.

How many 20 somethings are making 500k together? Meanwhile in European countries you can have a nice cost of living with 60k a year even if you gotta pay more taxes, this means there's a lot less stress across the board for the masses. Better health, and young people have more time & opportunities for mating, getting married, starting families.

The average age people can afford to get married, get a house & kids, settle down is no longer 17 - 18 like 100 years ago, it's no longer 22 like 40 - 50 years ago. Its pushing all the way up to 27 - 30.

Americans might be making more money but in terms of quality of life for the whole population its falling behind, though the wealthiest people to get live better than anyone else on the planet here.

Physiologist21 · 2021-11-05T17:56:31+00:00

If my husband treats me like shit why would I have sex with him?

If your husband treats you like shit why did you marry him?

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-11-05T18:06:52+00:00

You misunderstand the french ruling. The woman's refusal to have sex with her husband was ruled to be the reason for her divorce on her husband's side. They thought that it was unfair to her husband and so she lost her divorce case. I agree with the decision, a sexless marriage that is one sided is despicable.

hardallthetime666 · 2021-11-05T17:32:34+00:00

The fact that you use sex as a way to hold power is something that can be seen in women around the world.

and thats the point. TRP applies to human nature which is universal and timeless.

Emervila · 2021-11-05T17:49:48+00:00

Western Culture is rotten by rad fem in every single country

redback-spider · 2021-11-05T18:53:09+00:00

First that is not really true about the law, it is at best half true, as others said already.

But I can make a case for it non the less, you say why should I fuck my husbund if he "treats you like shit", first that is a very vague statement, if it's really horrible abuse beeting or something you have the ability to divorce and women always get all houses and all children and everythnig and the men get raped, except you for some strange reason married a looser that you outearn and he is the stay at home man, statistically close to not existent.

And if not if it's some smaller thing, let's say he did cheat or did not bring the trash out or did have a argument, why would you refuse to do your part (giving sex) when he keps his part, would it be ok to not pay the rent or quit his job if you threat him bad?

So why is his contribution not conditional but yours is? Because women are more equal than man?

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PlayfulLawyer · 2021-11-05T17:21:51+00:00

I mean sometimes differences lead to debate which is in the title of this subreddit so it makes some sense at least lol

nothatyoucare · 2021-11-05T18:03:00+00:00

by law sex is a marital duty. As an American that just sounds terrible to me. If my husband treats me like shit why would I have sex with him?

Interesting idea. There's very real negative outcomes, PHYSICAL and mental from a lack of intimacy in a relationship. I would say that if a partner dislikes their partner enough to not want to be intimate anymore they have a duty to leave that relationship and free the partner to find someone who will love them completely.

WheelIntelligent1354 · 2021-11-05T18:08:37+00:00

A lot of aspects of sexual relations can be summed down biological factors so what's the problem? + people debate morality and ethics but no one uses "but my country" as a valid argument.

QuenchlessGato · 2021-11-05T18:12:06+00:00

Given how globalization works and how big of an influence the US media has on the world, the younger generations are much more alike over the world. Also, we are all humans and the instincts and natural desires should not be much more different between us.

Fanmann · 2021-11-05T19:17:23+00:00

Hmmm. Imagine that.

BigOblivion · 2021-11-05T19:21:24+00:00

Yeah, I am brazilian and I often wonder if spending too much time here can distort my perspective on the brazilian dating market, even though I generally relate to the men on this sub (and other subs as well like askmen).

Lateralanouncer · 2021-11-05T20:35:09+00:00

That's what's fun about it.

Kushmon420 · 2021-11-05T20:39:58+00:00

I think the wording of a martial duty sounds weird but in the US if you are withholding sex that is grounds for a divorce, which essentially makes sex a necessity in marriage.

pubgmisc · 2021-11-05T20:49:16+00:00

The sexual market place is universal, fueled by Instagram. The 80/20 unregulated is the same all around the world

egi____ · 2021-11-05T21:20:39+00:00

So the reason you have sex with your husband is because he treats you well?

BMTEJ · 2021-11-05T21:54:02+00:00

I was under the impression that certain states in the US had laws that place a partner at fault if they quit showing affection. Forget the correct terminology, but this doesn’t just pertain to sex but also physical and emotional affection.

It’s Abandonment in a sense.

pm_ur_duck_pics · 2021-11-06T01:36:24+00:00

can’t you get divorced for someone withholding affections? Same idea.

lestratege · 2021-11-06T01:37:35+00:00

Technically, it's not by law, but by jurisprudence. The French law says that spouses obligate themselves to a "community of life".

The constant refusal to have sex with your spouse has been found by the courts to be a reason for being at fault in divorces.

So sex is not a legal obligation. Constant refusal is just found yo be a valid reason for divorcing.

Of course feminists are against because they want marriage to be a one way street: whatever the woman wants.

cuckspace · 2021-11-06T02:10:29+00:00

Human nature is the same everywhere, especially women’s hypergamic nature. It’s more obvious where women are less repressed, but the same underlying principles apply universally.

Eastuss · 2021-11-06T02:19:41+00:00

You live in a mostly christian cultured country, which will agree sex is a marital duty.

DeJuanBallard · 2021-11-06T02:35:28+00:00

Lol please don't get married. Atleast not to any dude. The suffering would be like 8th ring of hell level.

masterdarthrevan · 2021-11-06T03:13:51+00:00

Why would you still be married to a guy that you don't want to have sex with and treats you badly.

Mark_Freed · 2021-11-06T03:30:00+00:00

There is something similar in India - restitution of conjugal rights.

superlurkage · 2021-11-06T03:48:35+00:00

Everyone knows this is an American platform and the majority of the users, like the majority of global media producers, are American.

I wouldn’t go onto weibo and expect it to not cater to China

WhoRoger · 2021-11-06T06:27:30+00:00

If my husband treats me like shit why would I have sex with him?

Don't be married to someone that treats you like shit...? How does your question make any sense?!

Anyway, 1) looks like most of the people on this sub generally fall under the "western society" umbrella, so everyone could indeed be your neighbor. This isn't the 16th century.

2) Reddit has a culture of its own to boot, so people coming from otherwise vastly different societies can still find common ground.

3) Even if not, you can still learn a lot about what other people think, whether from across the street or on the other side of the planet.

filthyburrows · 2021-11-06T09:40:32+00:00

honestly sounds like a problem across reddit.

OldSimpsonsisbetter · 2021-11-06T12:59:02+00:00

Everyone assumes you're American on here and then when I say "why do you assume I'm American?" people just say "well it's an American website" lol.

muhname · 2021-11-06T15:32:08+00:00

If my husband treats me like shit why would I have sex with him?

If your husband treats you like shit he shouldn't be your husband.

If he is good enough to be your husband then you should have sex with him.

Women denying men sex is a good way to build up lasting animosity and poison the relationship.

Imagine you have a fight and your husband locks you out of the house for a week or a month. Eventually you make up and come back together, but the resentment lasts because you know that person would do that to you. The dynamics of the relationship have permanently changed even if it survives somehow.

Inflicting pain and suffering to get your partner to do what you want is not the foundation of a healthy relationship.

As far as cultural differences I think Americans simply don't value sex in a healthy biological/psychological context.

Can you imagine also why men don't want to get married in the first place. A woman can decide she doesn't like the way she's been treated (for any reason), deny a man sex for as long as she wants, and if he has a problem with it divorce him and gain all the benefits of the one-sided American divorce laws. My mom has been adamant that my brothers and I never get married. She says women today want too much, will divorce you and ruin your life.

The only check that existed on this behavior in the past were religious and societal shame for being divorced. That's long gone. Divorce has been normalized so people (especially women) don't fear it to the extent that is needed to hold families together.

NotTheBestMoment · 2021-11-07T23:48:26+00:00

You gotta remember most people here are American. An even greater percentage are in a western country. Less different than you think

xcheshirecatxx · 2021-11-08T20:10:52+00:00

It doesn't say you have to have sex with him. It says it's expected in marriage, so he could divorce and you wouldn't get half his money forever

bilberberbers · 2021-11-15T00:44:12+00:00

Humans and cultures aren't so special that they aren't guided by biology. Plenty of sexual and social behaviors are cross-cultural and genetic in origin on a species wide basis.

SaBahRub · 2021-11-05T17:56:48+00:00

It’s mostly American like all of Reddit

DeliciousPussyNectar · 2021-11-05T18:07:52+00:00

Would you prefer segregation?

Zerofication · 2021-11-18T18:56:40+00:00

This mentality of equating duty sex with marital rape harms women more than it benefits them; it forces men to use women temporarily for sex and not get into marriage because they know for a fact sex will eventually disappear and they won't be able to do anything about it.

Title	This sub makes no sense considering were all from different countries and different cultures
Author	Throwaway18077
Upvotes	157
Comments	304
Date	November 5, 2021 4:35 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/qnezzk/this_sub_makes_no_sense_considering_were_all_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/this-sub-makes-no-sense-considering-were-all-from.1085729 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085729

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