When women are willing to sleep with men without commitment, do you think it makes harder for all the other women to get a long-term partner?

tickledpic · 2021-09-20T19:23:52+00:00

[permanently deleted]

tiposk · 2021-09-20T19:50:36+00:00

A man who's committing to you because other women aren't having casual sex with him is settling for you, plain and simple. I have no interest in restraining other women's sexuality because it serves no purpose to me.

To answer your last question, I think people overestimate how desperate women are for commitment. Just like not all men are attractive for sex, not all of them are attractive for commitment. I've met men I thought were sexually attractive, but there was no point in seeking their commitment. Commitment is a two way street, not something men hand to women.

I also don't date with a long term relationship goal. I meet people, hang out with people and sleep with people. If we enjoy each other's company, we both stick, if not, we move on, so there's no specific point at which sex happens other than my our comfort.

Finally, the idea that that there's a massive push of casual sex on women is just today's version of satanic panic. Most people disapprove of women engaging in casual sex, but women being promiscuous seems like a good ingredient for outrage porn:

Women, but not men, who engage in casual sex are stereotyped as having low self-esteem regardless of rater's religion, level of conservatism and sexism as well as gender.

61% of women and 69% of men say they would lose respect for a woman who hooks up a lot, compared to 67% of women and 37% of men who would lose respect for a man who did the same.

Men are likely to advise other male friends to accept offers of casual sex whereas women dissuade their female friends from doing the same.

chalkandapples · 2021-09-20T21:11:51+00:00

I don't know, but I've only had long term relationships, and I didn't feel like the casual sex crowd really got in my way that much. It's a different crowd of people doing that, and it makes it so that it's less likely for a guy to lie to me about commitment just to get sex.

Novadina · 2021-09-20T20:09:37+00:00

Do you think this normalization of casual sex among women has made it harder for you to find a partner?

No, I’ve never had trouble finding commitment, if anything more men wanted it than I did.

Do you believe that sexism against women would decrease if sex were had exclusively in committed relationships?

No… how on earth would sexism be related to that?! You think people would be more likely to vote for female leaders if casual sex wasn’t a thing?? That’s a wild hypothesis, I’d love to hear your reasoning to get that idea…

If you have engaged in casual sex or slept with men without their commitment, did you do it because you thought that this is what you were supposed to do for the relationship to progress?

I did it because I enjoy sex. I never expected or wanted a relationship from casual sex. And I would never want to wait for commitment before having sex because part of my decision on if I want to commit is the quality of my sex life with a person! I wouldn’t sign a lease without seeing an apartment, either.

CloudBerryPunch · 2021-09-20T20:30:20+00:00

No, it just helps weed out the guys who wanted to sleep around anyways. Now you can concentrate on guys that want actual relationships.

cunningcaring · 2021-09-20T20:54:11+00:00

No, it makes it easier to find the right long term partner.

Reisiluu · 2021-09-20T19:35:44+00:00

There is probably a huge overlap between men who require casual sex to feel motivated to interact with women, and men who visit prostitutes or cheat whilst married. The needs for variety and the chase don't just switch off.

Places where casual sex is banned are worse for women than the west is.

So no, I don't think anything of value has been lost. I would argue that it's easier to find commitment because you can immediately eliminate every fuck boy just by not having sex with men who aren't showing any signs of emotional investment. They wouldn't be good partners even if they were blue balled by society.

And women need to stop listening to what's "being promoted" and think about what's best for them. Whether it's the church or media, needing someone to tell you what to do is shameful.

ashpr0ulx · 2021-09-20T19:26:15+00:00

i have engaged in casual sex for the very basic reason that i really like sex.

i have generally sought out casual sex when i was not looking for a relationship but still wanted to cum.

i find it easy to find and date commitment-minded men when that is what i am looking for.

LiftSushiDallas · 2021-09-21T01:22:24+00:00

No, because the same man I slept with without commitment on our second date is the same man that I got into a relationship with 3 months later and have been in a relationship with for 2.5 years.

Sex before commitment is pretty normal these days and men who are able to get laid and don't have weird Madonna/whore hangups don't rule out a woman for commitment if she has sex with him. In fact, my man would never have committed to me (and vice versa) if we didn't have sex on our pre-commitment vetting period.

As for the effect on other women, I don't care. It's the sexual marketplace and each individual is responsible for pursuing his or her choices.

Hot_Appearance_5834 · 2021-09-20T20:58:53+00:00

No.

I feel comfortable that when I date a man and he asks me to get serious - I know he's not doing it exclusively for sex.

The last thing I want is for men to start feigning interest in me because he's desperately trying to get his dick wet.

denverAle · 2021-09-20T21:21:54+00:00

If sex is the only reason a partner should stay with you... The others having it is not your worst problem.

rosephase · 2021-09-20T19:20:26+00:00

Do you think it makes it harder for all the other women to get long-term partners?

No.

Do you think normalization of casual sex among women has made it harder for you to find a partner?

No. I've never struggled to find commitment.

Do you believe sexism against women would decrease if sex were has exclusively in committed relationships?

fuck no. Why would it? You know what is sexist? Assuming a woman who is having enjoyable sex with others is somehow harming YOU.

If you have engaged in casual sex or slept with men without their commitment, did you do it because you thought that this is what you were supposed to do for the relationship to progress?

No. I had casual sex because I wanted sex. I have sex because I want it. Not because I think it's a step to commitment. I get committed as a step to commitment. I have sex because I want to fuck.

Substantial_Wasabi · 2021-09-20T19:23:05+00:00

I do not believe that the normalization of casual sex has made it harder for me to get a partner.

I don’t fully understand the second question.

I slept with men without commitment because i was horny and somewhat comfortable with them. Not for any other reasons.

Cimorene86 · 2021-09-20T19:42:49+00:00

Do you think this normalization of casual sex among women has made it harder for you to find a partner?

Yes, it did.

Do you believe that sexism against women would decrease if sex were had exclusively in committed relationships?

Lol, no. Sexism against both sexes will always exist.

If you have engaged in casual sex or slept with men without their commitment, did you do it because you thought that this is what you were supposed to do for the relationship to progress?

No. I've stayed in my casual relationship because it's best for me. I don't need or want commitment, just good friendship and sex.

houstongradengineer · 2021-09-20T20:07:07+00:00

No, and I'll tell you why. Men who do things out of obligation or just for sex don't last long term as a loved one. Could it make it harder for women to find husbands? Maybe. Harder to drag a man into financial entanglement? Sure. But harder to keep a real partner that lasts? No. That's not something you can get by gatekeeping anything. Partnership and (good) sex are not weapons, not in the eyes of women anyway.

funlightmandarin · 2021-09-20T20:11:23+00:00

Do you think this normalization of casual sex among women has made it harder for you to find a partner?

No.

I haven't had difficulties finding men that enjoys my company outside of sex. If they want casual sex, they can find it somewhere else.

Do you believe that sexism against women would decrease if sex were had exclusively in committed relationships?

No.

madmax77xl · 2021-09-20T20:14:19+00:00

Nope, there are plenty of men getting no casual sex that would love to love you

YveisGrey · 2021-09-20T22:31:31+00:00

Casual sex might increase cheating by giving more people opportunities for it but that goes for men and women. As for getting in a relationship in the first place I don’t think it has any real affect because relationships offer more than sex and people who want relationships are usually seeking those other benefits as well. Also casual sex is sporadic, inconsistent and can require a lot of effort and risk taking. Relationship sex is usually a lot more stable and steady less risky with less effort involved honestly even for people who want sex getting a relationship is probably a better way to get it compared to bar crawling and club hopping every weekend in the hope of finding someone. Lastly people exaggerate how much casual sex people are having very few people are achieving the same levels of sex casually as they would in a relationship

Devourer_of_felines · 2021-09-20T23:59:26+00:00

It makes it harder for women to get a man who regularly engages in casual sex to commit perhaps.

For the most part no - vast majority of men aren’t snapping up one night stands left and right. “Keeping their options open” isn’t a consideration when it comes time to consider whether or not to commit to a long term relationship.

Historical-Agency335 · 2021-09-21T01:06:18+00:00

No. If all the ugly girls slept around but the hot women held out for virgin men, you can bet most men would be virgins a lot longer.

neetykeeno · 2021-09-21T01:30:48+00:00

When I grow up I want to wear a puffy white dress and say vows in front of family and friends so I can settle down with a man who reluctantly accepts me as the only way to get his dick wet said no 15 year old girl ever.

Pretend_Teacher_1863 · 2021-09-21T01:55:59+00:00

Not at all. In fact telling them you don't want anything more is sometimes the best way to get a LTR. Guys like a challenge...want to prove that they could change your mind about being in a LTR.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-09-21T02:08:45+00:00

why would i care if it makes it hard for other women

UrFoodMolestedMyNose · 2021-09-21T04:11:55+00:00

Only if they are seeking commitment from men most women choose to casually sleep with.

ThatGirl50 · 2021-09-21T06:52:12+00:00

Not even in the slightest. Promiscuous people are now better able to find each other and leave me the fuck alone.

Alt_Er_Midlertidig · 2021-09-21T10:34:18+00:00

Nope,

I'm not into casual sex, never have been. If a guy can get sex elsewhere it makes it easier for me to find a man who will wait. Obviously I need and must spend a lot of time with someone for the sexual acts to happen.

Being careful and upfront and strict about it has served me very well. No man who doesn't want you for more than sex, is willing to wait almost half a year for the act of coitus. Plus, you get to know him and become even more attracted to his great "personality" (good looks and not being a total weirdo), generosity, and you can meet each others friends and family. I also care a lot if he did have casual sex before. I'm not into whores and sluts. They can find each other. And no matter how perfect he is, I will discard him if he watches porn or has ever seen a prostitute.

Luckily, I found 1 man within my parameters. He is attractive to me (nope, he is not bald, fat or even slightly pudgy/old). I don't need all of men to be what I want. I only need 1.

swag_Lemons · 2021-09-20T20:21:03+00:00

It actually really depends on your age, men in their late 20s aren’t going to play with your feelings just to get sex because they don’t have the time for it, they are mature enough usually to get sex if they ever need it. however teenage boys and boys in their early 20s definitely have that possibility because let’s be honest here, teenagers, boys and girls alike, are assholes.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2021-09-20T20:10:24+00:00

No , cuz a man wants what he wants and if a man wants a woman he will commit to her no matter how many partners she's had.

YveisGrey · 2021-09-20T22:10:03+00:00

Mm not really the men will have casual sex and wife up the woman they do want. Happens all the time. I think the decline in marriage is actually being driven by women not men. Women are opting out basically if they can’t be married to an above average man in some way either money wise or looks wise they don’t want it at all. Women don’t desire marriage for marriage sake they desire marriage to high quality men. If you ask women what they want in a husband it’s usually a guy who makes a good amount of money, is tall or attractive in some way, treats them real well etc… that removes a good portion of men. Its the whole “where are all the good men trope” women can’t find good enough men to marry hence marriage rates are plummeting. Casual sex ain’t got nothing to do with it

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-09-21T01:15:09+00:00

Women aren't some group that all go out and sleep with men without commitment. There are many women who do and a few women who don't. Generally those few women who don't are the women who get married early minus the homely ones. The rest are then on a quest to fuck their way to commitment.

IcarusKiki · 2021-09-21T02:27:59+00:00

no - men LTR for more reasons than sex believe it or not.

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superlurkage · 2021-09-20T19:55:34+00:00

Yes. So?

grand_tiremaster · 2021-09-20T20:07:20+00:00

IMO yes. I want to get married and have a few kids. Why would the guys out here try to win me over when they can get sex or attention easily from someone else?

Nice_Pass2393 · 2021-09-20T21:19:48+00:00

No because they still need a second income to pay bills.

Sultmaker_9000 · 2021-09-20T21:20:43+00:00

Won't make any difference, because most men don't have such easy access to pussy, even men who are in the the top 10% still need to put in effort in which is a drag, as such women who as seen as long term will be perused long term, but in the short term smash sluts until they're ready to settle with a long term.

FormalUsual1217 · 2021-09-20T21:30:14+00:00

midwestufohunter · 2021-09-20T22:10:39+00:00

Maybe?

but these are the same men whether they date us or not. same morals, same character.

I'd rather this all be exposed than hidden.

SaBahRub · 2021-09-20T22:21:28+00:00

No more than men who are willing to sleep with women they don’t want a relationship with

Equal-Programmer-371 · 2021-09-20T23:11:33+00:00

Should you be trying to convince men into long term relationships with sex? Should you be holding back anything if the feeling isn't mutually agreed? Seems a bit messed up...

rft24 · 2021-09-20T23:22:57+00:00

no, i think it made it easier to weed out guys who didn’t want to wait.

toasterchild · 2021-09-21T03:43:27+00:00

Isn't this only a problem for the women who can't tell the difference between a casual sex guy and a commitment guy? I think most women figure out the difference by a reasonable age. Some struggle more, we should help them when we can.

nemma88 · 2021-09-21T09:45:44+00:00

I didn't find it harder when I was single no.

There's plenty of men not sexist against women in the world. I've never met a man sexist against me or at least with enough conviction to show it.

I tried to engage in casual sex with a friend once. It wasn't a stepping stone to a relationship and I did not think he was relationship material, or rather I didn't think we'd be a good fit long term. We did not have sex because he blue balled me requiring I commit to him, I repeated I wasn't interested and moved on.

DXBrigade · 2021-09-21T18:14:42+00:00

Nope, because everyone want commitment.

Even chads wants to settle down eventually.

gojo_satarou · 2021-09-22T02:54:22+00:00

If you have engaged in casual sex or slept with men without their commitment, did you do it because you thought that this is what you were supposed to do for the relationship to progress?

This is straight stupidity if y'all just wanted to fuck, make sure you're not making it serious, because c'mon stop using your sexual feelings to think romantically, there's a thing called "post-orgasm clarity" for women after you jizzed and for guys after busting your nut get that clarity.

Nah it's not possible moreover casual sex should be done in the early phase of life and limit it to 3-4 people not more than that.

I might sound sexist, but for Men we honestly would sleep with 7-8 women and yet won't get that attachment to that Woman, but women on the other hand can't, they get attached because if she's sleeping with that same FWB or hookup she easily develops feelings.

So it's highly recommended to Women to limit casual sex (2-3 body count) it's better for them to not ruin their LTR's by this.

violatemyeyesocket · 2021-09-22T05:36:01+00:00

Sure and it's not a gender thing.

Every individual that does that makes it slightly harder for individuals to not do it in theory and the same works in reverse.

By doing it, you normalize it, you maybe inspire one extra other individual to do it that would otherwise not have done it and that goes with anything.

Buying whole-grain bread makes it slightly harder for individuals that don't want whole-grain bread because you increase the demand for whole-grain bread by buying it so the store might in response to that pack slightly less bread that isn't whole-grain.

Do you think this normalization of casual sex among women has made it harder for you to find a partner?

I don't care about "finding a partner"—my life is mine and none other's.

Do you believe that sexism against women would decrease if sex were had exclusively in committed relationships?

No idea honestly but I don't care.

If you have engaged in casual sex or slept with men without their commitment, did you do it because you thought that this is what you were supposed to do for the relationship to progress?

No, because I wanted to.

Easteuroblondie · 2021-09-22T07:50:21+00:00

i would say yes. i grew up in a household with immigrant parents. I'm no angel, but I am very monogamous. I can actually for the most part only even crush on people monogamously.

I have friends that are in open relationships and what not...more power to them. but I will say, yeah, it is harder. It could be my social circle now, but it almost seems like being a straight female who wants a monogamous relationship makes me the unusual one.

I have done ok finding guys who also want commitment. but i would say it takes about half the dating pool off the table because if people (men or women) want to fuck around, they can. the pool is big enough for that to be a viable option

ForsakenAd7480 · 2021-09-23T19:52:47+00:00

Nope. If I bang a guy no strings, I don't want him as a partner....nor would most women

No_Cat_6508 · 2021-09-24T08:24:29+00:00

For women that’s looking for more classic relationships, it makes it easier by weeding out men that would casually sleep around quicker. Online dating is skewed towards more modern relationships. Majority of existing relationships are still classic (by definition, most classic relationships and relationships advice are not discussed online). People interested in classic relationships, like people that don’t drink or smoke, do not socialize much with those that are very different from them. Peer pressure only works when you are surrounded by peers you actually align with anyways.

Lauracurieuse · 2021-09-26T14:18:52+00:00

No! I had sex because I was in the mood, had the opportunity and was curious.

I’m sorry but when I was single, my primal instinct was leading. Did not have many partners, it’s true. But I just never one time though of the sisterhood when something was going on with an interesting guy.

Lotus_82 · 2021-09-21T02:41:01+00:00

Your whole post history is basically you trying to get other people to support your outdated world view of wanting stay at home moms who depend on a man for money and of wanting people to get married as young as possible. Like Jesus dude, why are you do obsessed with this stuff?

ilovepetya · 2021-09-21T06:54:10+00:00

well according to the women on this sub, only 5% of women have ever had casual sex. so this shouldnt be a problem.

Title	When women are willing to sleep with men without commitment, do you think it makes harder for all the other women to get a long-term partner?
Author	missing_voice
Upvotes	65
Comments	190
Date	September 20, 2021 7:13 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ps1l54/when_women_are_willing_to_sleep_with_men_without/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-women-are-willing-to-sleep-with-men-without.1075348 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075348

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