Do your partners identify as feminist?

ashpr0ulx · 2022-09-05T15:41:19+00:00

i do not identify as feminist and neither does my partner.

_revelationary · 2022-09-05T17:11:33+00:00

I just asked him and he said, “I guess so, it’s probably not the most salient part of my identity, though.”

I would mostly consider myself a feminist

Main-Leek7908 · 2022-09-05T18:10:43+00:00

My partner and I identify as egalitarians

LiftSushiDallas · 2022-09-05T15:54:44+00:00

Neither I nor my boyfriend are feminists.

corporatesandry · 2022-09-05T19:40:35+00:00

Me and my bf are both GC and I lean heavily towards radical feminism. We both laugh at liberal feminism and the forbidden topic

Kman17 · 2022-09-05T22:17:44+00:00

My wife has previously identified as feminist but is increasingly not using the label.

We're both ~40 years old and have been leftist for most of our lives, but we're pretty unhappy with the identity based divisiveness that the left has incorporated.

Rather than figuring solutions to complex solutions that fit all, most identity based groups trying to distil the world into oppressed vs. oppressors and trying to 'get' the oppressors in virtue-signally takedowns. We're not on board with it.

Alarm bells went off for me somewhere during the meetoo movement while she was sympathetic to it, but once the pattern was repeated by other groups that emulated the tactic she took a step back and rejected that methodology.

We're all for some of the purported feminist goals - particularly around childcare burden and norms & government assistance there, but a lot of their tactics are a 'nope'.

SmilesLikeMardiGras · 2022-09-05T18:48:37+00:00

my husband is anti feminist and pretty red pilled from experience. I am also anti/non-feminist, I have never met a feminist man

2022-09-05T15:59:21+00:00

I’m progressive and he’s to the left of me. Never asked if he identifies as feminist.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-09-05T20:11:24+00:00

I hold feminist views, although i refrain from labeling myself. My partner values women and has a lot women in his life he cares about a lot, he is open to listening to my arguments and agrees with me on most points. When I met him, I think he still had some ingrained sexism; thinking women were less capable, for example but I think most average men on the street hold a small bias still.

rurunoa · 2022-09-05T15:45:07+00:00

im a feminist but if my bf said he was a feminist id look at him weird

pinktuliplover · 2022-09-05T16:05:17+00:00

I’m not a feminist. The man I’m seeing is not a feminist. I would not date a man who called himself a feminist.

Smitten_Squire · 2022-09-05T16:56:39+00:00

Hell no. I don't put up with toxicity from either gender

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-09-05T19:06:08+00:00

Not as far as I know although I honestly can’t remember ever having a conversation about it. Nowadays I probably wouldn’t cal myself a feminist either. Although he was and is a bit more conservative than I am.

Koipisces · 2022-09-06T03:45:53+00:00

I’m a feminist, and my last ex was too. I haven’t really asked men I have dated though, but I ask their opinions on subjects and can based on that judge wether it is in line with my thoughts and in line with what is feminism to me. (Equality for both genders, abolishing gender norms. Getting rid of misogyny and misandry. Getting rid of the patriarchy that forces men and women to be a certain way and only keep a certain group of men at the top. For me feminism is very simple, equal rights and equal opportunities.) I think the meaning of feminism though is different for people nowadays because “new waves” claim certain things. I don’t really agree with lib fems on certain topics for example. That’s why I feel like asking someone out of the blue wouldn’t work. Most guys I know agree with my line of thought. Need to clarify though that I’m Dutch, and I feel like Dutch people in general are for the equal rights and opportunities of men and women.

FightMeCthullu · 2022-09-05T15:56:00+00:00

Me: babe would you call yourself a feminist?

My partner: did I say you could fucking speak? Go make me a sandwich

Me: go work a soul crushing job you hate to fund my extravagant lifestyle

My partner: FINE! I WILL! You better have dinner ready when get back!

Me: I’ll poison it!

….

He was 10000% joking we both were. But yeah he is a feminist, progressive, very into workers rights and improved welfare and universal healthcare. And I love him for it.

I am also all those things.

mary_reibey · 2022-09-05T18:04:22+00:00

My boyfriend and I are both feminists. So are all his friends and all our families, and all my friends and like everyone in my life. It's nice surrounding yourself with people that respect you :)

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-09-05T19:03:06+00:00

Yeah. Fucker is just overflowing with empathy. Loveable as hell he is. He's leftist. Pro union. Pro universal healthcare. Etc.

bunnakay · 2022-09-05T15:30:43+00:00

I'm a feminist, so is my husband. We're both progressives.

JumboJetz · 2022-09-05T18:25:48+00:00

One of my best girlfriends identified strongly as a feminist.

I would say less girls identify as feminist than do identify as feminist I feel like. Most people just aren’t all that political beyond surface level stuff I find.

blueberrypie02 · 2022-09-05T20:53:31+00:00

I’d say he is conventionally masculine but has progressive values. He doesn’t really want to adhere to gender roles and believes that everyone has different strenghts, pro choice, not bothered by LGBT but not a declared ally. Also believes men and women should have equal opportunities and wants to be very involved in the lives of our future children.

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2022-09-06T03:50:33+00:00

No and neither do I

EatMyFleshSon · 2022-09-05T15:46:06+00:00

My bf is the kind of guy that supports universal Healthcare and education but says he doesn't identify with progressive as a label, so he doesn't like labels. He's pro choice and for women's rights

All the red pillers would say they'll never date a feminist and then their post history is gonna show them on dating forums being like "why do women ghost me after texting for a few days?"

CanYouTieThemInABow · 2022-09-05T16:27:09+00:00

Sort of? But he means he supports stuff like maternity leave and that he's pro-choice. I don't think he thinks about feminism much unless I'm telling him about specific feminist issues, so it's kind of a stupid label for him to adopt.

He's sort of Bernie bro-ish. Quite lefty on economics, and not really either very woke or anti-woke. I distrust and dislike both political parties, so I find the pro team blue stuff a little stupid. Like, get back to me when they focus on the stuff that actually helps the masses rather than the most intense party loyalists and donors and signaling.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-09-05T18:51:27+00:00

I doubt it. He also has phobic views and is not liberal. Not a traditionalist/conservative either. He'd probably get cancelled.

He believes women should be able to do their own thing, but he is not 'pro-women', he's more of a blunt realist that loves bullshit if anything. He'll speak out against anything.

EulenWatcher · 2022-09-05T15:34:13+00:00

I'm a feminist, my partner doesn't identify himself as one. Politics-wise he leans liberal, but we both aren't really deep into politics. We have similar/compatible views on things important for us and that's enough for me. We're egalitarian, pro-choice, environmentally conscious, conscious about health and support LGBTQ+.

We're from a somewhat traditional-ish Asian region and I struggled with finding even an egalitarian man who shared my values. Finding a male feminist is pretty much impossible here.

yamb97 · 2022-09-05T23:24:52+00:00

Myself and the majority of my past partners identify as “feminist” because I go out of my way to choose not to associate with people who are not.

Acaciduh · 2022-09-05T15:49:23+00:00

He doesn’t label himself so, but he’s pretty progressive in action. Pro-choice, non-religious, pro LGBT - although admittedly does not understand neo-pronouns lol, etc. it’s funny on paper he’s pretty conventionally masculine- athletic, stoic, but he does have a lot of the same feminist ideals as me he just doesn’t go around shouting about them. Also probably helps he’s barely online - didn’t know about any of the manosphere stuff. All that info has come from me asking him questions that pop up on PPD or showing him clips and his usual response is people need to get out more lmao. I did show him a Tate clip and how this is what young boys are gravitating too - he asked my son if he ever heard of him - my son said no, and he told him people like him are con-men who like to take your money and an idiot and if he has questions ask him (his dad) and my son said cool, he sounds lame 😂 so I think he’s alright.

anon018274031 · 2022-09-05T16:16:43+00:00

I’m a feminist, I don’t have a partner 🤷‍♀️

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-09-05T17:01:41+00:00

We’re both feminists and liberals. When we go to visit his family (not often since Covid) his family is pretty traditional and the wives all hang out in the kitchen and the husbands all hang out in the garage or the yard. He’s the one that bridges the gap and hangs out with me.

vivvienne · 2022-09-05T17:11:39+00:00

I'm feminist, he's libertarian.

Street-Temporary8048 · 2022-09-05T16:21:47+00:00

My boyfriend is a feminist. He prefers not to call himself that because he's heard tons of stories and come across "male feminists" being predatory. Politics wise our opinions align. We're both pro-choice, pro-LGBTQ+ to state a few.

To me it does not matter what a man calls himself. I look at their actions and words and judge if they reflect feminist ideals. I saw all of these signs in my boyfriend. So I don't give a rat's ass if he calls himself a feminist or not.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-09-05T16:14:19+00:00

Yes, my husband is a feminist. It’s not uncommon in our social circle either. Most Finnish people have a feminist mindset, whether they acknowledge it or not.

We are both pretty left, but again, most Finnish people are left compared to Americans for example. I’m probably more reformist than him, but we’re both social democrats.

bluemooncookiedough · 2022-09-05T16:59:15+00:00

My husband and I both identify as feminists. We both very much care about defending people in general.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-09-05T17:53:57+00:00

He does identify as a feminist, although he doesn't tend to say it unless asked or assumed as he finds that weird. Not a radical feminist like me though. I don't mind, so long as he acts like a feminist in the ways I care about I don't care about what he calls himself or his views on the finer points.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-09-05T19:25:50+00:00

He doesn't believe in labels like that but he believes in equality, equity and womens rights.

I identify as a feminist and we both have the same positions in most everything. Neither of us like radfems and the cultural appropriation brigade though

We're both progressives, though I'm slightly more libertarian.

But also we live in New Zealand. Your democrats are more right wing than out actual main "central-right" party.

chalkandapples · 2022-09-05T19:47:12+00:00

Yes, most people I know are feminists.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-09-05T21:39:06+00:00

No, they explicitly do not identify as a feminist as they don't want to be associated with the high jacked movement that is third wave feminism.

However they do all stand for equality and womens rights.

CardiBacardi2022 · 2022-09-05T16:49:01+00:00

we are both feminists because we believe in basic equality and rights for everyone

ruboyuri · 2022-09-05T15:30:12+00:00

wintergreen233 · 2022-09-05T16:19:51+00:00

I could only date someone who was thoroughly allied with feminism, whether or not he’d use that word to describe himself. My sexual partners are exclusively leftists.

Dapper_Art_8269 · 2022-09-05T16:47:14+00:00

Yes, obviously.

houstongradengineer · 2022-09-05T17:48:10+00:00

Same as most other people have said. He does not identify as a feminist.

My husband is quite politically leftist- perhaps a bit left of me. He's a little off-put by some things women say about men, and I don't hold that against him. He thinks I deserve basic rights, and he's as upset about me being harassed in the workplace as I am. That's what feminism means to me, so I'm good with him. I just don't think he has the experience to know how often certain issues affect women. As he is not a woman, I am OK with this. He doesn't invalidate me when I speak. That's enough for me. Why would it be? That's all I ask of men on this forum. I need the world to be a better place for women like myself and my nieces.

Novadina · 2022-09-05T17:53:03+00:00

I am a feminist. I’m not sure my partner would label himself a feminist, many people don’t believe men should use this label, but he is feminist allied. We both believe neither men or women are automatically superior to the other and should have equal rights, and we have an egalitarian relationship. We are both progressive.

SouthernGrass3 · 2022-09-05T18:52:18+00:00

Yes and yes. We are left leaning, he’s a little more left than me.

Lyracole · 2022-09-06T02:43:56+00:00

My girlfriend and I are both very progressive politically and often have conversations about feminist topics where we’re in agreement, yes.

AutoModerator · 2022-09-05T12:03:04+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

ohdiddly · 2022-09-05T16:51:54+00:00

I wouldn't say he label himself as a feminist, but he aligns himself with feminist values. I'm sure he wouldn't mind labelling himself as a feminist for that reason, but we both aren't very big on labels in general.

KissMyAsthma-99 · 2022-09-05T16:59:56+00:00

Not at all. Like me, my wife finds actual equality extremely important.

06534956 · 2022-09-05T20:55:57+00:00

He’s a feminist in the truest political sense of the word. He believes that women deserve equal rights and representation, and should have the option to choose any life path that makes them happy.

urbangoth · 2022-09-05T21:24:05+00:00

Neither of us use the term feminist but both of us have pretty strong left/feminist values. We're both lgbt so there is overlap in values from that community and feminism.

No-Needleworker-9307 · 2022-09-06T01:18:10+00:00

We both go with egalitarians

Different_Cress7369 · 2022-09-06T05:03:11+00:00

No. He holds that only women can be feminists, and identifies as an ally of feminism.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-09-06T06:39:23+00:00

We both identify as feminists

energeticallyyours · 2022-09-06T06:57:50+00:00

We are both feminists

Willow-girl · 2022-09-06T11:01:22+00:00

That's an interesting question. My man was raised by an awesome mom and a POS father, and also has an older sister with whom he's very close, so he definitely has respect for women, but at the same time, he's not one to be rattled by our bullshit, either.

He likes to pretend to be a chauvinist pig; like when I come up with the solution to a problem, he'll say, "You're pretty smart for a girl." And I roll my eyes so hard I see God ...

ALearnedFool · 2022-09-06T20:58:56+00:00

I'm (F) egalitarian I guess? And most of my partners (AFAB) have identified as feminist but I haven't dated since high school so-

HobbitShaker88 · 2022-09-08T04:06:29+00:00

Feminism means equality, so yes, my husband is a feminist. He thinks women should have the same rights as him. If he wasnt a feminist he'd be a chauvinist (unlikely he would think women should have more power than his own gender lol) then I wouldnt be with him.

People identify radical feminism as feminism nowadays, thats now what feminism means. It means equality of opportunity. A true feminist isnt a man hater, they want the same equality as men.

Its the same thing as people identifying Muslims as terrorists. A small percentage of Muslims are hateful terrorists, but the vast majority of Muslims are peaceful and loving. However, all you hear about is the extreme radical Muslims and now everyone thinks they are the typical Muslim.

Title	Do your partners identify as feminist?
Author	LaloTwins
Upvotes	24
Comments	161
Date	September 5, 2022 12:03 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/x6eiat/do_your_partners_identify_as_feminist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-your-partners-identify-as-feminist.1130017 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130017

Comments