Anyone thinking of dating a single mom?

david10277 · 2022-12-13T13:21:35+00:00

Lol....after a divorce...

I will never deal with another women's emotional maintenance

Additional-Hat-3128 · 2022-12-13T03:07:57+00:00

Once I get to single dadhood. If I'm dating it will be a woman who makes just as much if not more than me. I don't want a dime of her money I just want her to support herself. Sure as hell am not marrying again.

ButtStuff69_FR_tho · 2022-12-13T03:48:05+00:00

Welp. Now I'm going to join that sub

67Luck · 2022-12-13T15:14:25+00:00

Well for starters, no , it’s only tough getting back into the dating if you make it that way.

Secondly, what you read on Reddit about single mom’s is likely an echo chamber of negativity….in other words , it ain’t reality.

Next, I agree that if you happen to be, say , a 22 year old divorced man, yeah probably avoid single moms for a few years.

Last, once you get to a certain age ,almost all of em are Moms and the vast majority have their shit together . If you’re going to avoid single moms after a certain age, stock up on the Vaseline. The key is you have choices so don’t move in with them, don’t get involved raising their children…..and certainly don’t get re married.

TARz_2by4_ · 2022-12-13T05:25:59+00:00

I have a mom kink, so.... All. The. Time.

Boomer70770 · 2022-12-13T18:46:38+00:00

I'm happy with my dog.

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2022-12-13T15:37:13+00:00

Yeah but I’m a single dad. If you don’t have offspring it is different

georeddit2018 · 2022-12-13T03:03:12+00:00

I think most people learn the hard way after experiencing it themselves.

Aggravating-Ad-5793 · 2022-12-13T07:04:39+00:00

Not unless the kid is 30 and financially independent.

Snake_blitzkill · 2022-12-13T13:52:30+00:00

At my age that’s pretty much the option (some rarities are out there…..but there’s typically a reason they’re single and no kids). Plus I’m not interested in dating significantly below my age (that tends to lead to “sugar daddy territory”).

BurnDownTheMission68 · 2022-12-14T12:54:11+00:00

Her kids will always, always, always come first, second, third, to you and you will be used as the ATM.

Imswim80 · 2022-12-13T18:38:36+00:00

I am a single dad. I'm not sure I'd want a "marriage," per say, but companionship, for sure. I'm also iffy on adding another child support payment, so I'm leaning towards a vasectomy sooner than later.

But, 1) i can't expect my future companion to be something I'm not, so I have a kid, she may have a kid. 2) kids are awesome people. Its fun to watch them grow and learn. I love being a dad to my son. I'd be down to "dad" another kid, but that title must be earned. 3) I expect her to get on well with my kid, and 4) kids come first. Goes both ways. Mine only has the one dad. And I'm not going anywhere. Hers only has the one mom. I'd think less of her if she put me ahead of her kids.

Conversely, I am absolutely terrified of breaking a kids heart if things don't work well with their mom. And breaking my kids heart because we have to part with a step-sibling. So.. caution, taking it slow and secret (to the kids, ie, meeting up on non-custodial days), for a bit, maybe some "chance" meetings at a park for early ventures.

salty-sheep-bah · 2022-12-13T14:18:22+00:00

Anecdotal of course, but pretty much every single mom I've had any interest in had "narcissistic, violent, and abusive ex's".

Two options as I see it. The ex is just your everyday dude who got divorced and she's inventing tales of woe. Which makes her a fucking liar.

Or he is a fucking nightmare and I can't imagine a woman worth willingly bringing her "narcissistic, violent, and abusive ex" into my life.

Snake_blitzkill · 2022-12-13T11:08:50+00:00

At this rate my ideal woman is a pornstar. Makes a lot of her own money and knows what to do in the bedroom, probably even teach me some new moves.

Njmet · 2022-12-13T14:55:59+00:00

Don’t do it unless you go into it understanding what your getting out of it. You are hooking up and having fun great enjoy yourself. But if your looking to having a LTR you better understand the reality of what your getting yourself into. It will not be the fairy tale you think it will be.

thrownaway41422 · 2022-12-13T16:13:59+00:00

I'm not thinking of dating anyone at all at this point.

ragingredditir · 2022-12-13T13:29:52+00:00

I think I’d be too scared to date a single mom.

Their go to phrase is “I am out of an abusive relationship” which makes me think that anytime a respectable man calls them out on their shit they scream “abuse.”

What makes it scary, is that they have a kid watching this dynamic. The kid learns to use the “abuse” word to manipulate people.

It is easy to imagine a soon to be stepdad being left alone with the kid. The kid decides they don’t like this guy and accuse him of being “abusive.” Now the poor guys whole life is f*cked beyond repair because he took a chance on a single mom.

I’m about to be 34. If I were to date a mom, I’d prob wait till I was in my 40s. Dating a mom who has kids that are already functioning adults would be fine. Key word “functioning”

jalopkoala · 2022-12-13T19:30:09+00:00

I only date people casually (even if long term casually and they become dear friends), I’m polyamorous, and I’m snipped.

Advantages of single moms under this paradigm:

-They are also super busy, so they understand that I am also busy, and that when we hang we are gonna fucking make it count.

-They are fun to talk to about parenting because they get it. Non-parents I don’t really talk about my kid much but honestly my kid is the most fun and interesting part of my life. Non-parents indulge me when I share, but they don’t revel in the excitement of low-stakes, but incredibly bloody PTA group chats.

-They tend to know exactly what they want and what they are looking for.

Additional context: I’m in Manhattan, my dating pool is mid-30s to mid-40s, and everyone is self-sufficient financially.

Feinixaway · 2022-12-13T09:47:56+00:00

Just before the pandemic I was at a cougar bar.

This chick approaches me, we start talking and she wants to take me home.

Then she says to me "Do you date single moms of two boys?" I lost my boner right away and backed off. She was pissed as hell.

checkoutdeeznuts2 · 2022-12-13T03:18:47+00:00

Lol..thanks for the heads up. Since I have zero interest in dating a single.mom I wasn't aware of that sub..but wow what a shit show over there..

1Cobbler · 2022-12-13T08:00:06+00:00

Got to like the 3rd post of the single mum with a 6 and 8 y/o who is pregnant AGAIN to another loser AGAIN and I just had to pull the pin.

nothingbutalamp · 2022-12-13T14:42:57+00:00

I'm dating a single mom, hell I'm a single dad. She's a package deal just like I am and understands time management between kids and romantic life. We make it work quite well.

whatskeeping · 2022-12-13T04:17:50+00:00

Wow I checked it out. Singleparents, it's scary in there. Single Dads, not so much, single moms scary again. Hmm

Expatriated_American · 2022-12-13T12:37:32+00:00

I’ll date single moms, but only if they are educated and have a career. And are attractive. And are not bitter man-haters. And are submissive in bed.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2022-12-13T14:12:14+00:00

It makes you wonder why everyone is hell bent on silencing forums like MGTOW where men were simply warning other men about the dangers of marriage and single mom's. The entire system is dependent on men bailing out irresponsible women and their kids.

Impossible_Tie6425 · 2022-12-13T13:59:56+00:00

I've been watching a show called Shades of Jane about this crazy woman who hears voices and thinks she has multiple personalities. She even blacks out, can't remembers what she just did. Acts insane all the time. The thing is she has sole custody of her 2 young boys. Terrible. She should be in a hospital, not raising kids alone. And with all this, some guy was on the show trying to date her! 😳

4rdfun · 2022-12-13T17:23:28+00:00

Interesting, I don't plan to try and date for some time, I need to work on my shit and recover from the trauma this has brought up, also divorce still not final and it's going to get worse. But, I assumed a single mom would be more relatable.

EvidencePlz · 2022-12-13T04:48:41+00:00

Let me ask you a very serious question.

Do you have cockroaches in your house? If you do, can you ship some to me? I'll pay for the shipping.

I'm hungry and would rather eat some dirty cockroaches than touch a single mom with a ten foot pole.

chinnick967 · 2022-12-13T08:29:45+00:00

My long-term partner was a single mom with a daughter that was about the same age as mine. It has worked out great.

Physical-Pie748 · 2022-12-13T14:39:44+00:00

sure i date single moms. but thats because i dont date seriously, i only want casual relationships. thats why i dont care about their baggage, i wont commit or marry any women i date. if i would be looking for marriage and a long term relationship, then i WOULD NOT DATE SINGLE MOTHERS; PERIOD

JSNTFS · 2022-12-13T15:10:01+00:00

I don't even want my own kids, no way I'm helping take care of someone else's.

After my divorce I did have a FWB arrangement with a single mom for a while. She was in a similar situation to me, recently divorced and was just looking to have some fun on days when her ex had the kids. No LTR potential there though.

Cocksquirt · 2022-12-13T04:37:57+00:00

I date single moms exclusively. 😏

IncreaseCommercial71 · 2022-12-13T14:50:36+00:00

Wow, smdh. I felt nauseous just scrolling.

5unshine_Daydream · 2022-12-13T16:39:16+00:00

I'd only date a single mom if her kids were well-adjusted, had moved out, and were either in school doing well or in an established career.

MNCPA · 2022-12-13T20:36:45+00:00

I'll test your hypothesis. I just posted on that subreddit as a single dad. I included nothing negative, only positive in my post.

tdwriter2003 · 2022-12-13T22:45:18+00:00

I would be open. I'm 50 years old . Not ready to date yet still going through my crap. But I would consider it if it's the right woman for the long haul. I hate to think my next marriage would be until we grow old together. Maybe that's the Romantic part of me. And maybe it would be a shot of being a dad again to kids that need you.

-sweetchuck · 2022-12-14T01:32:42+00:00

Single moms just give me flashbacks of her doing that to my kid. Trade up not down

ZookeepergameLow2760 · 2022-12-17T18:07:15+00:00

Blood is always thicker than water.

LuckyLogJam · 2022-12-20T13:33:22+00:00

Thanks for the advice, that subreddit is a gold mine!

csgosilver1 · 2022-12-26T08:19:51+00:00

I think your fucking nuts if your even consider it. If you wanna fuck her whatever, but if serious date her your always going to come in 2nd place to her kid(s) which in a normal relationship is fine because their your kids too. Plus you have the baby daddy drama, 99/100 arent worth the effort.

ToddHaberdasher · 2022-12-13T16:03:42+00:00

Why would a single mother want to date someone else's leftovers?

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2022-12-13T16:20:20+00:00

Marrying a single mom here. I'm a single dad. Working out pretty great for me.

Major-Young9532 · 2022-12-13T03:58:32+00:00

Jesus, it's rough over there.... No thank you.

derelictherds · 2022-12-13T14:40:11+00:00

I've dated several single moms and currently dating one. What are you on about?

CrazySanta7 · 2022-12-13T14:58:35+00:00

No, not a chance, at least not for the long term. Adding more kids to the mix just complicates things and lessens the already low chances of relationship success. I'm already raising two teen daughters, which is hard enough. Go to seeking arrangements 'dating' site. Relationships are ttransactional anyway, so you might as well keep the drama out of it. I grew up with several step siblings....what a cluster f%$$. Good luck bro

IcyEntertainment8673 · 2022-12-13T04:00:03+00:00

Don’t group us all together, just like not all divorced men are deadbeat dads who beat their wives or had an affair.

I follow that subreddit for the odd post that relates to life hacks as a single mom. And while yes, there’s an overflow of women who got knocked up and want another man for a paycheck, the vast majority of the herd-working independent single moms are lurkers.

Putting down single mothers is ironic if you, yourself, have a child.

used2befast · 2022-12-13T07:28:14+00:00

I might consider it. Go for the low hanging fruit

Ncfc48 · 2022-12-13T14:16:00+00:00

Have no interest in being a stepdad and have no idea why anyone would, my son gets all my attention finances and time and when I'm not with him I do what I want, son time separate from fun time

Dangerous_Item_6879 · 2022-12-13T16:06:49+00:00

The criteria would be:

1) She has a job/career/permanent alimony that supports her and her children comfortably.

2) She has 50/50 custody and isn’t in some situation with her ex where she has the kids all the time.

3) She doesn’t have any personality disorders

4) She is self sufficient and is not emotionally co-dependent.

5) The kids would have to be at least 10 years old.

6) Her parents have money.

Nonamesfound · 2022-12-14T00:12:18+00:00

The problem that I’ve run into in dating single moms is that they don’t respect YOUR time.

Generally you are both single parents with busy schedules and pressed for time.

But the single moms seem to think they are the only ones with schedules and time constraints…. Expecting you to bend to their schedules…. When they have time for you.

Nah…. No thanks……you gotta meet me 50/50 or that’s a nope.

Nonamesfound · 2022-12-14T00:24:01+00:00

Another thing is that unfortunately…. Even if they are good women…. They may be so justifiably jaded that they will always have a wall up and you will just waste your time banging your head against it.

yungcameltoe · 2022-12-13T20:06:55+00:00

Single moms are for fun. Date one with new buns

Title	Anyone thinking of dating a single mom?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	83
Comments	134
Date	December 13, 2022 2:59 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/zkkd11/anyone_thinking_of_dating_a_single_mom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-thinking-of-dating-a-single-mom.1208156 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208156

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