Men struggle because they treat women as equals

Creation_Soul · 2023-07-07T06:55:48+00:00

I hate the word "equal" cause it gets misunderstood here. The better word is "fair". My wife and I are not equal, but we are fair to eachother. We split work in a way that suits each of us, we don't keep tabs on how much work each person does as long as the work gets done at the end of the day and none of us feel overworked/taken advantage of.

dyngladfel · 2023-07-07T08:00:18+00:00

Well most men want a woman whose got bigger tits than them, doesn't mean they think she's better than them as a person for it.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-07-07T06:34:17+00:00

Nothing dries up my nethers faster than a dude acting like he's better than me. Even if the dude is better looking and even if he has more money, he's going to be a garbage partner if he lords over his superiority over the other person.

John_Oakman · 2023-07-06T22:18:07+00:00

Equal =/= same. There's numerous other variables that a woman could bring to a relationship that would equalize her value in comparison to any seemingly 'higher value' males.

obviousredflag · 2023-07-07T08:31:14+00:00

You are mixing up two different dimensions of equality. You can treat women as equals but still have asymmetrical dynamics in your relationship.

Bitter_Return_3345 · 2023-07-07T01:48:33+00:00

I routinely acted like I was better than my ex girlfriend before we dated and she liked me

diaryofalostgirl · 2023-07-07T02:02:41+00:00

People who buy into complementarian relationships don't see themselves as unequal to the man who makes more. A man may bring money to a relationship while a woman brings the intangibles. Thus, she sees them as being fundamentally equal and deserving of a mutually respectful relationship.

magiksissclit · 2023-07-07T09:35:35+00:00

Your subject line is close.

Men struggle when they follow the golden rule which exists as an inverse of true morality. Treating others as you'd like to be treated is selfish and shortsighted. It's higher conscious to treat others how THEY like to be treated (so long as doing so doesn't violate one's own personal integrity).

Obviously, we've all been brainwashed. Shall we all hold hands and exit this hellhole of mental imprisonment as a team?

Edit: off-topic, but I understand the above statement would be absolutely terrifying to some for reasons most cannot at this juncture understand. Understand that for those with ears to hear and eyes to see, we see you clearly. Get ready.

Laurely4u · 2023-07-07T00:11:04+00:00

Perhaps you and I could have a completely platonic relationship as equals where I won’t ask you for money as you conversely agree not to ask for sex

TSquaredRecovers · 2023-07-07T01:39:23+00:00

I have had to repeat this so many times just in the last few days. But here goes for the hundredth time: Most modern women work full-time jobs and bring in a sizable income.

In more and more relationships, women and men are earning similar incomes, with an increasing number of women being the primary breadwinner. Recent statistics confirm that 7% of fathers are stay-at-home dads, and that’s not even accounting for relationships where, again, both partners work. And even if the man makes more money, if both partners are working the same hours outside of the home, they both should be contributing equally to the household responsibilities and childcare. That is the very definition of an egalitarian relationship.

Are there still marriages where traditional gender roles are at play? Sure, but they are NOT the majority. Not even close, actually. Less than a third of women are stay-at-home moms. And of that demographic, many of the women who stay home do so out of necessity, rather than adhering to gender roles, because the family can’t afford childcare (as childcare costs can rival a monthly mortgage payment in many places). Low-income families often can’t justify having both partners work.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-07-06T23:36:48+00:00

I can promise you, that isn’t why they struggle. I’ve never set foot in this magical land where men believe or act like they are superior. Just about all the couples I know are egalitarian. I’d say my mother’s marriage is damn near matriarchal. Yet I know a lot of couples who started dating in high school or even middle school and are still together. I also know couples like me, who met their partner later in life. I spent years being the mistress of my own life. I did not need someone to come along when I was 40 and patronize me or act like he’s better. We would not have married if he were that dude. Secretly though, he’s objectively better looking than me. Just don’t tell him. He does not seem to know.

Novadina · 2023-07-06T23:33:26+00:00

Different people have different strengths. Just because they might be different doesn’t somehow make one of them better. For example, maybe a man is more stoic, but the woman is more nurturing. Or the woman is better at earning money and the man is better at making friends. The point is to work together as a team, utilizing each strength and helping out with the other’s weaknesses.

If you happen to see the common qualities women might have as being worth less than the ones men tend to have, that’s on you, and exactly the kind of attitude women who want an equal partner would avoid.

MyLastBestChance · 2023-07-06T22:31:14+00:00

Any man who acts like he is “better” will be summarily and unequivocally invited to pursue someone else who is a better fit for him.

Most women explicitly DO NOT want a power imbalance in relationships.

Ill_Inspection5225 · 2023-07-07T13:00:18+00:00

For the last time, equal doesn’t mean the same

TheOrangeGhost · 2023-07-06T23:56:31+00:00

Men and women are equals but they do often want different things out of a relationship. Men tend to want to want a caregiver while women tend to want a protector. This doesn't mean that every guy want a new mom or every women wants thier own personal batman. What it means if that men want a women who will care about their day and make sure they are getting enough emotional support. Women want a guy who will help her get through tough times and help her conquer the things she is concerned about.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-07-07T09:57:14+00:00

Why are we only evaluating people's worth by things men tend to have more of, like money? Men don't generally like to pick women who are equal to them in unpaid housework. Why would someone having different characteristics to you mean you can't treat them as an equal, as in someone deserving of equal power and respect even if you don't have exactly equal net worth/dress sense/tit size? Can you only treat another person as an equal if you're exactly the same?

SnickMahootie · 2023-07-06T22:06:15+00:00

Not following your logic here. Yes, women like men who have higher status and success, but what does that have do with how they want to be treated? Women will flock to a high status man who treats women as equals and ignore a low status man who lords it over them.

NotMattDamien · 2023-07-07T01:52:44+00:00

Patrice O’Neal said it that women want men that are better than them. If a woman can admit their partner is better than them they found a keeper, all else aside. More height, more income, funnier, more charismatic, older, etc This new world is trying to say we are all equal, the same, and can do the same things which is unintentionally making most miserable.

dt13 · 2023-07-07T02:16:05+00:00

Not trying to cyv, but as it's been said to me... women see managing things like appointments, anniversaries, remembering what needs bought or done around the house as just as much work as actually doing it and call it the mental load. So if you are making more, she is doing a lot of the other work that doesn't pay the bills (like remembering to pay the bills lol). So if you make the same money then she expects you to do the same amount of mental load and will stop fucking because to her it's not equal and will call you a manchild. They only want the power imbalance when you do all the providing and forwarding thinking about their future needs. So if you stop at the store for beer for you friends coming over, but do not think to ask if she wants something from the store, she will not fuck you because to her you made more work for her. Again this is all told me, I don't see the work equally but they do.

jfsargent3 · 2023-07-07T03:39:28+00:00

It’s a hellscape for us all

beleidigtewurst · 2023-07-07T13:51:37+00:00

Ok, read wold example, from, got submit, video posted on reddit.

A moral choice, should you or your spouse die, if one of the two has to

You don't need to lookup the video, to figure out how the answers looked like.

That doesn't count as "equals" to me. Understandably, there are good biological reasons for such behavior (men are much easier to replace in reproduction cycle), but nevertheless.

operapeach · 2023-07-07T00:23:45+00:00

Being emotionally stoic doesn’t always mean you are stronger, it just means you are less demonstrative.

Men prefer women who make less, so that works out well most of the time.

Wanting to lord your money or status over your partner as an advantage you have is unattractive. Being generous and enjoying sharing with your partner is attractive.

RevDrucifer · 2023-07-07T00:20:34+00:00

I can’t agree based on my own experiences and observations. This is my first 15 minutes in this sub and I’m seeing a lot of posts generalizing small personality/preferences into entire genders.

I’m in South Florida, where we have really run down ghettos and beautiful multi-million dollar homes, and alllll the people that reside in these places. I’ve had relationships with all types of women of various financial status and points in their lives, my finances were never an aspect of what turned things into a relationship. Nor was it the cause of any of them ending. I was the broke musician for many of those years.

Yes, there are absolutely both men and women who are looking to live a life of financial wealth, there are TONS of them down here. Fortunately, the majority of people that aren’t on dating apps where things have become like a McDonald’s menu, don’t want to base their relationships on financial status. The majority of people just want to be comfortable with varying definitions of “comfortable”, but after most people actually experience living in the real world, that generally just means being able to cover your bills and having enough fun money that you don’t mind working most of your life to earn it.

Orangematcha · 2023-07-07T02:38:08+00:00

Lol. Another “woe is me post”. “Men struggle because women. The end.”

Just because you have had a hard time dating don’t make it seem like every guy out there struggles dating.

If you have a hard time treating your potential partner as an equal then that’s unfortunately on you and them. Is it really that hard to practice empathy to just women or anybody in your life?

Maybe the fault isn’t that being equal is the issue but rather being genuine. I feel like a lot of people struggle with themselves and I’m sure many people consider themselves good partners but confused why they’re alone. Who claimed you’re good other than yourself? That’s kinda where the whole notion of ironic “nice guy” comes from. They’re only nice until they can’t have what they want. So you weren’t really nice but rather deceptive. Disingenuous.

neverjumpthegate · 2023-07-07T02:15:12+00:00

I don't think you understand what emotional intimacy is.

toasterchild · 2023-07-06T22:12:33+00:00

None of that shit makes you better, busy makes you more stable. You'd be better than unstable options but unless she's actually unstable herself why would that make you better? Men are so obsessed with ranking. There is no winning a relationship.

Puzzleheaded_Aside_3 · 2023-07-07T13:15:35+00:00

NEVER DELETE THIS POST

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2023-07-07T15:11:41+00:00

This just sounds like some "women like asshole" trite shit.

renfsu · 2023-07-07T15:55:14+00:00

This is just hypergamy.

Women look for men older than them, taller, more emotionally stable, makes more money, stronger, etc.

The issue is the woman wants the man to be better but it's wrong to say that she's worse.

Most men struggle because they simp and place her above him. Dark triad is most attractive because these men remind women that they (the men) are better.

But that doesn't necessarily mean that they don't treat women as equal. I can see you as my equal while making much more than you.

SwaySh0t · 2023-07-07T00:54:00+00:00

There’s a kernel of truth to what your saying albeit it’ll be seen as an unpopular opinion. It is because of this very dynamic that men will ALWAYS be the real prize in the relationship because her hypergamy demands it.

James_Cruse · 2023-07-07T13:26:33+00:00

Women want men who are better than them and men want beautiful feminine and co-operative women that respect them.

If you treat and behave like you as a man believe the woman is better than you - she’ll believe it to and she’ll then beleive you don’t add sny value to her life, so why would she be in it (again, because woman want men better than them).

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-07-07T17:21:45+00:00

Men prefer women too attractive for them, who want to do all the childcare and housework while she works full time like him (also most couples are in the same income threshold too according to studies- so most women dont get a man who makes significantly more than her), who will try harder to be a better parent, who is more emotionally supportive than he is (I dont find the average man to be emotionally strong, hes emotionally dismissive while you cant be, big difference) who is more interesting and sociable than he is and who is more loyal than he is (and society excuses this, men get away more with being disloyal, disrespectful and emotionally dismissive)

Rhinosaur666 · 2023-07-06T23:32:40+00:00

You are kind of pointing in the general right dimension but still pretty cold.

Here is the problem most men face. Let's take it back to tribal times. Many surviving primitive tribes today have a so called rites of passage. This is a specific ritual that follows generally the same format:

At a certain age, a boy (teen) is old enough to have to take on the responsibilities of being a man. The boy is taken away from the mother by the village elders. A symbolic separation of the person from their boyhood as they are propelled into their manhood.

The boy is given a set of instructions and a challenge that is designed to test his resolve and ability to face his fears. Once the challenge is successfully passed, the village accepts the now man as a full member of the tribe. The man is now given a specific role in the tribe - a warrior, a hunter, protection, etc.

The rites of passage serve a triple purpose. They mark a clear separation from the feminine, the mother. The boy leaves the nursery where everything is nice and cozy and warm. The boy faces his fears and becomes a man. And finally, he gains a purpose in the tribe which becomes his source of fulfillment.

Why am I bringing this shit up? Well, in modern society boys do not have a rite of passage and many of them remain boys. They were never symbolically separated from their nursery, from the feminine and made to face their fears. Furthermore, most do not have a purpose that they pursue above all.

Because of this lack of purpose, guys tend to fall back into the feminine to feed their need for happiness and fulfillment. They look to women, sex and relationships to make them happy and whole. Those become their life's goal: their purpose! This is the proverbial "putting women on a pedestal".

So a guy is not really treating women as an equal. As a matter of fact, he is treating them like a superior. Women become his sole or major source of happiness and fulfillment. Why is this bad? Why does this work out so poorly for the poor guy?

There is a universal law that states: people want this which they cannot get (women doubly so). A guy who makes women his major goal in life, a man whose happiness and fulfillment is so dependent on whether women like him, is inherently easy to get. He is the opposite of what women actually find attractive.

So the answer is not in treating women poorly or as below you. The answer is in finding a purpose in life (other than women) that will give you happiness and fulfillment. Parallel to that, you have to stop looking g at women as the source of happiness and simply look at them as icing on the cake. Something that will make your life a little bit sweeter, but they are not the center of it. You are not dependent on them. By virtue of this, you become hard to get, because you won't be chasing them and putting them on a pedestal.

Many guys mistake this for treating women poorly, but it is not that at all. Men who make other things their priority and purpose are simply treating women as normal, flawed human beings. Not worse or better than they would treat a random guy. If they meet w woman they like, they express it but they don't trip all over her. If a woman gives them the runaround, they make it clear they won't stand for that and cut her off immediately.

So it's not that guys treat women as equals, they treat them as better than they are because of their screwed up expectations and dependency on them. To paraphrase a common saying: after a lifetime of treating others as above you, equality seems like oppression.

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Cethlinnstooth · 2023-07-07T03:24:27+00:00

Lol. Most of the men who are struggling boarded the struggle bus well before puberty.

Ok_Membership7091 · 2023-07-07T15:27:10+00:00

I will say not necessarily equal in all things but equal effort in all things. I make more than my wife, I don’t lord over her because of it. But that does mean she has a budget, so do I on spending on ourselves. I hate doing laundry, folding and putting it away. She is not as good as I am in cleaning flooring or dishes, or yard work. I am not good at cooking, I can grill like a mamajamma but don’t ask for pot roasts or anything more complex than the stuff she likes to cook! We are equal in responsibility and expectations and it works for us. It boils down to people listen too much to toxic talking heads and take stupid advice and believe social media content and don’t question objectively, literally anything!

Title	Men struggle because they treat women as equals
Author	YtBlue
Upvotes	85
Comments	298
Date	July 6, 2023 10:02 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/14snc9v/men_struggle_because_they_treat_women_as_equals/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-struggle-because-they-treat-women-as-equals.1224532 https://theredarchive.com/post/1224532

Comments

A moral choice, should you or your spouse die, if one of the two has to