There's a "What are your most controversial or unpopular dating rule/opinion" thread over at r/AskWomenOver30. What are your controversial opinion about their controversial opinions?

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2023-11-03T23:50:03+00:00

The thing about these unpopular opinion threads is that they’re almost always actually very popular opinions. If you want the real unpopular opinions, sort by controversial and you’ll find some thoughts that the blackpillers would have you believe are actually common:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/s/FIQxi2VuI0

Edit: I accidentally pasted the same link twice. Meant for this to be the second:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/s/OxdmXr0vSU

gabishes · 2023-11-03T23:52:34+00:00

the first 5 I read are very reasonable? Don’t date men without common interests, don’t date men who are controlling, don’t date men who make you unsafe, date men who are interested in a long term relationship.

Are we looking at the same post?

Safinated · 2023-11-04T00:02:44+00:00

My opinion is that those opinions are boring and common sense as heck.

Because dating is boring and common sense as heck in general

toasterchild · 2023-11-04T00:06:20+00:00

The entire point of dating is to get to the "no" (this isn't going to work) as fast as possible. I want to enjoy as much of my time as possible and spending it with people I actually like is key. Fuck taking forever to get to know someone, i am digging for info.

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-11-04T02:04:30+00:00

I don't agree with the concept of not talking about exes. You learn *so* much about someone through talking about their past relationships. Honestly I want to know when your last relationship was and what happened for it to end on the first date. How they talk about this says a lot about their emotional state, their maturity, and what they are about as a person.

This is extremely accurate. I always get information about exes. Names, when and for how long they dated, how and why they broke up, and how he feels about it. It is very important to get this information at some point during the first 6 months. You need to know what you are getting into.

I was going to go into how I use this information to make informed decisions about who to invest in, but I realize it makes me sound a little bit psycho so I will spare yall.

Femcelphobic · 2023-11-04T01:10:42+00:00

Past your mid twenties being a virgin with zero romantic experience just stops being cute, for both men and women. I’m saying this as a virgin myself and as someone who prefers virgin men. If I was dating a guy that was in his late-early twenties and he was still a virgin I would see that as so incredibly cute and adorable. However, If I came across a virgin that was 30+ I’d assume they had personal issues (social anxiety, mental illness, etc..), was extremely religious or asexual.

SarsaparillaCorona · 2023-11-03T23:56:49+00:00

I guess that none of them are actually that controversial lmao

I think they’re all pretty reasonable and as an individual you are absolutely entitled to have preferences.

The subtle difference that a lot of people fuck up though is that you’re entitled to have preferences, but if your preferences are out of your league due to them having options, you won’t ever get them unless you provide something others can’t or you get lucky.

Like if you’re some sort of amazing high value stud and picky Laura over here deems you to be her standard, but you also meet like 20 other girls’ standards and 10 of them are better than picky Laura, well picky Laura probably ain’t gonna get very far with you, is she?

If you want a controversial opinion for this sub, it’s that the honest truth is that most women’s ‘pre-qualifiers’ (looks, build, personality, hygiene, whatever) are not actually that hard to meet. Seriously. They aren’t. This sub massively suffers from cognitive bias and dissonance in this area because it’s so easy to look at IG models, thirst traps and rage bait and have it turn into how you think ALL women act and how ALL men should be. It’s nuts.

Most men can become attractive to women by fixing their style, performing regular hygiene and skincare, not eating garbage and wasting their lives in front of screens, eating healthily and to your daily requirements, regularly exercising and going out and either taking good photos for tinder or just goddam talking to women. Seriously. A lot of people here think average women are just out here drowning in chad cock, in reality they’re struggling to find a guy who does those things, so if you can do them, and reap the rewards provided by the delayed gratification, you’re doing better than the vast majority of men, heck, I’d even argue doing all of those things either puts you in that 20% or puts you on a path towards reaching that 20%.

The average man is a skinny fat, greasy, stinky, socially awkward loser who spends their time terminally online. It is NOT someone who does all of those things.

And I think that’s why it’s a controversial opinion, because it doesn’t give you any natural excuses or move the goalposts outside of your reach so you can feel apathy towards your inaction and unwillingness to improve. It is controversial because it’s attainable, but requires acceptance of these faults and constant effort to achieve them. Basically, it’s ‘hard’. And your average human these days HATES doing anything that is ‘hard’.

AloneOnTheStrange · 2023-11-04T00:12:58+00:00

A handful seem reasonable, but most seem petty or even kinda crazy.

A lot of these "dating rules" read like an attempt at a dating life hack: Tired of going on bad dates? do this one weird trick to never have a bad date again!

I'd be interested to see if these women with their lengthy lists of red flags, also have any green flags. All of these dating rules are about men they avoid. Are there any opinions that are "I don't mind if he doesn't have his life together as long as he's making a proper effort to fix that", or "I'm okay splitting the bill", or "I don't mind having to initiate and make the moves"?

There's something about these women's egos that means their standards can only get higher, and never relax. Like they associate higher standards with higher self worth, and a massive pain if they're forced to settle for less than perfect.

upsidemaze · 2023-11-04T13:48:30+00:00

I liked the comment about the chick who would not date average dude despite being average herself. She would rather die alone than get with an average dude. That's a double edged swords really.

Either woman like this stays alone forever. Women like to compare themselves to other women, so when they will see the average guy married to their girlfriends and their girlfriends having children and being in loving relationship, then they will feel left out.

On the other hand if she bags a Chad she still is average and will loose her looks while Chad will not, so there is always a younger hotter woman than her trying to poach her Chad hubby. How long can she hold onto Chad?

Or she is zen master who will not care for being alone and thats the ideal case scenario.

I get it though, I would never date a woman who does not pass the boner test. But I am a dude, and I can provide different value than women.

gothiccbitch · 2023-11-04T01:49:39+00:00

I agree in OPs original statement. Men in their 20s with little to no experience are typically porn addicts. If I could do it all over again I’d never give one of them a chance. Dating them is one of the absolute worse dating mistakes that a woman can make that will negatively impact her self esteem and ruin other men for you. It’ll take months-years of therapy to recover. I strongly urge single men to find other ways to occupy their time before it’s too late. PIED is very real and it’s a damn shame cuz it’s completely preventable.

gigrabbit · 2023-11-04T00:11:41+00:00

Growing up , I was always under the impression that talking about your exes was a bad idea and it was considered taboo. It wasn’t until I got older where I realized that, not only do most women not care; a lot of them actually encourage it.

I’m not sure how it became a main stream ‘faux pas’ in the first place but it’s safe to say that the rule is debunked. Women love talking about their exes and indulging in your past/history.

Specialist-Action-33 · 2023-11-04T01:37:27+00:00

It seems like women over 30, especially those in that sub tend to drag their baggage from previous relationships and want to judge the next man based on them. Their ex did one thing they didn't like but tolerated until they broke up, and now the new bf despite being a good person, does a hint of that similar thing her ex did and its an immediate breakup.

I agree some where just plain pointless. Like the one who mentioned if her date uses emojis (funny I bet she does it all the time in texting but if her date does it...lol) and one who mentions if he watches sports. I'm sure this is all because of what previous men have done that they had no problem with but want to enforce that super strong boundary with the new guy.

lolthankstinder · 2023-11-04T04:35:13+00:00

When I was dating, I dropped men who set off my alarm bells/gut instinct. Didn't care if what they did to set it off was small; if my gut told me to get out, I got the fuck out. Some may think this is extreme but I trust my gut; always have and always will.

This illogical, irrational, and unforgiving mindset is frustratingly common in women in modern dating and often coincides with narcissism and interest in astrology. Women like this will hastily reject a guy because of some stupid, unobjective "gut" feeling because they feel like they're God's gift to the world bestowed with a divine power to physiognomically classify criminality. In reality, it's just confirmation bias, sexism, and extreme selectivity disguised under the unchallengeable façade of "safety" despite the fact that an intelligent and attractive actual serial killer would get past that "gut feeling" in a heartbeat.

Turbulent-Tonight975 · 2023-11-04T02:38:57+00:00

That the advice they give and strategies they use explain why so many women over 30 are single. Many of the posts show that these women have high physical standards and want someone hot.

The average woman in America is a size 16. 4 out 10 women are so overweight to the point of obesity, and 2/3 are overweight. As an dude in my early 30s I was shocked how many of the women on Hinge and Tinder my own age are so fat. Like finding a non-hideous non-whale over 30 was nearly impossible.

Read the forum and these are the same women who seem to give few concessions for the men they pursue despite the fact that most probably are nowhere near as attractive as the men they want. I

t explains very clearly why men go after younger women, or the men that are interested in these over 30 women are mostly looking for sex and have no desire to date them seriously or have a relationship. These women want men way better than themselves.

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-11-03T23:46:19+00:00

I read a bit of it, most of those women have horrible views and seem to take no self responsibility for the men they date. It’s no wonder they have crazy takes. Hopefully they stay single.

Digimobster95 · 2023-11-04T02:17:55+00:00

holding out for chad

Most these 30+ women waiting to secure a top tier chad not acknowledging that these guys are rare and highly sought after. They think all they have to do is offer their magical pussy will lock down these high tier men. They rather die alone than settle for someone

Eastern-Action1384 · 2023-11-04T00:00:05+00:00

Another 'toxic' opinion where only women feeling matters. As for men they need to accept whatever they have on the plate.

8mm_Magnum_Cumshot · 2023-11-04T02:42:24+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/17mujqb/comment/k7ndm9v/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

In this comment thread the most upvoted comments are either women defending their own high physical standards or women shitting on men for having high physical standards.

If women didn't have double standards they would have no standards.

Old_Speed_7861 · 2023-11-05T23:58:22+00:00

Interesting hypocrisy of women. They have no problem with casual sex but don’t want men that watch porn. They made rules for some men but broke them for others.

Height came up and they a mixture of things. Apparently many think it’s a joke that women want 6ft or taller

jaybalvinman · 2023-11-04T02:09:02+00:00

So I go to this message board where one of the main threads is how to obtain a man of status. We are talking woman who want high profile NBA players, music artists, celebrities. Apparently according to these women, it is completely doable. You just have to be an IG thot/or decently cute. and once you find your target try to get them to notice you by liking their stories, being in their DM's, go to the same events, and try to be in their social circles and according to these women, it does not take long for these men to respond.

Im here like whaaaat....I have wasted my life being mistreated by broke men when I could have been mistreated by rich men. I could have been a baby mama to some ball player WAGS style.

I do believe these woman when they say it is doable/easy to hook/trap these men. I have met two high profile men. One a singer, one was an MMA fighter, and I was propositioned by them. I turned them down because I was with a boyfriend at the time (whom were also present at the events). I was messing with broke men couldnt been messing with some rich men and had a story to tell.

But yeah my controversial opinion is women who are even sort of cute should shoot for celebrities.

EveningEveryman · 2023-11-04T03:13:10+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/17mujqb/comment/k7nafwg/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

"Alarm bells and gut instinct" this is literally animal level thinking based on neurosis.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/17mujqb/comment/k7npw0u/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Yes, staying online where you take forever to respond is great. Maybe just communicate and make clear you're not looking for casual sex.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/17mujqb/comment/k7nfin7/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

You're gonna be single for awhile then

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/17mujqb/comment/k7nridc/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

"No republican" Yet you vote for the plutocratic corporate worshiping democrat party. Nice one.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomenOver30/comments/17mujqb/comment/k7na51k/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

"I dont care about a mans height" Wow, interesting. And she's in her 40s. Some ladies can look past numbers.

Purple_Cruncher_123 · 2023-11-04T00:56:25+00:00

A lot of these are pretty meh and not really all that controversial. Some are quite specific, but even then I would chalk it up to the individual women and not a greater statement about dating. Like the woman who dislike men with pitbulls, or the one who dislike men who dislike cats, or the one who prefers short over tall men. They're speaking for themselves and not dating in general.

AnyIntroduction3288 · 2023-11-04T00:24:56+00:00

Men don’t gain value as they age. Almost everyone looks better at age 21-29 than they do after they turn 30. The only value older men bring is more income. 40 Year old men aren’t even more mature. A guy who spends his 20’s studying and working hard is more mature than a 40 year old who spent his youth partying.

Men aren’t obligated to pay for first dates. But if they don’t, I assume they either aren’t into me or have weird qualms about money that will pop up later.

Money should be shared in marriage. Everyone’s money is in a pool and there should be no such thing as “my money” and “your money”. The exceptions are unique circumstances such as if someone has a spending problem and needs money to be separated to stay in control.

Women tend to be happier as homemakers and SAHM’s. But most men can’t afford it and/ or demand their wives work and/ or behave in a way that indicates that a woman shouldn’t trust him enough to depend on him financially.

Spyro7x3 · 2023-11-04T01:30:35+00:00

Mine is that I consider cheating to be rape against my body and I can lose it and start fuvking shit up

Special-Possession44 · 2023-11-04T00:26:47+00:00

for a man, if you are tall you can get women even if your face is ugly, atypical race, bad personality and poor.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-11-04T01:06:30+00:00

Most of them are not even that unpopular, especially the one woman who said she won't lower her standards even if she is average and in her thirties. Most women will never lower their standards and would rather stay single.

LOPI-14 · 2023-11-04T10:30:11+00:00

It's been a while since I saw someone this delusional and neurotic. People like this rarely lead a happy life.

mcminimus · 2023-11-04T19:27:13+00:00

Usally people who are very socially isolated are indeed "weird". In this case with the thread OP, porn addiction. They don't know how to socialize with others and they have messed up boundaries and delusions. Not to say that they are bad people. Some are that way because of circumstances such as abuse. However, there are some who are that way because they are off putting and rightfully so. These people usually need professional help. I personally would not want to deal with that, unless i find the person to be genuinely a good person, but simply struggling and are receptive to help. Porn addiction is often a good indication that these people will have delusions about sex.

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harmonica2 · 2023-11-04T00:49:47+00:00

Hard to say for me. My gf and I have an age gap in the relationship, which it seems maybe at least a third of people view as controversial, and my opinion is that it's okay, if that's controversial.

YveisGrey · 2023-11-04T13:34:45+00:00

She might have a point. My friend dated a 38 year old virgin (she was 32 at the time) dude turned out to be a porn addict.

AdEffective7894s · 2023-11-04T15:09:37+00:00

You need to be good looking to experience love that goes beyond the physical and provisioning.

Average men and sub 5 men will never experience true buring desire

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2023-11-04T17:42:54+00:00

Anyone has the right to cut anyone off for any reason.

That sound like something a racist would say

IAbstainFromSociety · 2023-11-06T02:23:38+00:00

If anyone's wondering why only 5-9% of autistic men marry (from that thread):

If I feel the slightest hint of an internal emotional disconnect in the person in front of me, I'm out. I'm not here to be someone's teacher as they start their journey into learning what feelings are, what types exist, what to do with them and how to handle them, how to communicate them, etc. I'll occasionally do that as a friend, but not in a relationship. It's unfortunate, many guys who are great in all other aspects have that, so it really restricts the dating pool. But I've been in therapy for a long time, worked on myself for a long time, I refuse to feel emotionally lonely in a relationship, or worst, like someone's mother raising them emotionally. I'd rather be single. Personal incompatibility, I'm sure they'll find someone else out there who won't mind or will put in the labor for them.

Title	There's a "What are your most controversial or unpopular dating rule/opinion" thread over at r/AskWomenOver30. What are your controversial opinion about their controversial opinions?
Author	Critical-Network-247
Upvotes	20
Comments	245
Date	November 3, 2023 11:30 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/17n89ek/theres_a_what_are_your_most_controversial_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/theres-a-what-are-your-most-controversial-or.1237286 https://theredarchive.com/post/1237286

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