Some women who are financially reliant on their male partners, especially those who are stay at home wives/mothers, keep a secret “get-away” fund. This is a secret bank account with enough money to support herself for a short time should her husband ever become abusive. I support this decision, no one wants to be trapped and we all need a safety net.

Sometimes the husband will find out about this secret stash and feel hurt. He feels that his wife doesn’t trust him. She must think he’s secretly a monster biding his time, or some rabid animal that might hurt her without warning. His feelings are valid, but he shouldn’t take it personally. This is not an indictment of his character, it is merely a precaution for her safety.

However, most do not hold these same sympathies for a man who wishes to get a paternity test. If he does, he’s a misogynistic pig who can’t even trust his own wife. If he thought she would cheat, why did he even marry her? There are no considerations for the fact that a father has no way of truly knowing the baby is his without a DNA test. There is no consideration of the man who’s wife was not only unfaithful, but tricked him into raising another man’s child. He’s not saying he doesn’t trust his wife. He’s saying that every victim of paternity fraud at one point fully trusted his partner.

Some may argue that the two aren’t comparable. The get-away fund is for possible abuse in the future, a paternity test is accusing her of already cheating. However, past or future, both of these crimes are only possible if the offender’s character is truly wicked. If you think a paternity test is insulting and accusing, you should feel the same way towards escape funds and vice versa.

Others may argue that the two fears aren’t the same because domestic violence is more common than paternity fraud. I would argue that the severity of the consequences for the victims for both events are enough to merit precaution. If simple steps can be taken to protect the victim, they are worth doing in these cases.

If a husband asks for a paternity test, he is accusing his wife of something awful and his wife is right to leave him. Kick him to the curb. If a husband finds out about an escape fund and feels insulted because his wife thinks he’s capable of being a monster, he’s a misogynist.

Edit: I would also add that for those arguing about difference in past and future. Most women would still feel heavily insulted if their partner stated that he wants to have a paternity test for all future children.

Edit 2: u/Podlubnyi summarized it well. “If you're okay in principle with a woman keeping secret bags and bank accounts (to protect herself, just in case), then you can have no objections to a man getting a paternity test (to protect himself, just in case).”