Why do men think women are trying to share the top men? A lot of women are choosing to be single

Swordfromthecement · 2025-08-07T02:32:28+00:00

I don’t think women are intentionally trying to share the top men.

I believe that the traits that typically make men attractive (especially personality traits) are often possessed/acquired by men who are much more willing to play the field and have a casual attitude towards dating. Combined with the fact that women view partnered men more favorably (from a general standpoint) and women often exaggerating their relationship status with the men they’re interested in, then you end up with the phenomenon that is described in your title. It’s a bunch of women choosing to roll the dice, and isn’t life nothing but a series of dice rolls? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

InkAddict718 · 2025-08-07T01:43:37+00:00

Single = \ = celibate

BrainMarshal · 2025-08-07T01:49:51+00:00

Tea Dating app and "Are we dating the same guy?" would like to have a word with you.

addings0 · 2025-08-07T02:08:16+00:00

Women don't want men other women don't want.

Be single and alone all you want. It doesn't deserve to be celebrated. You're doing, nothing. The point of being in a relationship, is learning to be on a team. It's worth taking notice of.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2025-08-07T01:51:44+00:00

[permanently deleted]

thedarkracer · 2025-08-07T01:54:01+00:00

If you are choosing to be single, explain this

https://www.forbes.com/health/dating/dating-statistics/#:~:text=63%25%20of%20men%20younger%20than,group%20described%20themselves%20as%20single.

Then if you don't wanna share top men, explain 80/20 rule proved by two dating apps, mate copying also proven by research (I can link if you want) and the existence of groups are we dating the same guy. This is why we have a term called home wrecker.

I don't believe in using men I don't desire for their resources. I simply won't date them. It's not fair to date a man for his money then starve him out in the bedroom

You don't maybe but many do. That's why there is a term called gold diggers.

CuckCake321 · 2025-08-07T02:08:37+00:00

I do believe women are sharing all the top men. And the term for this is called "Soft Harem" meaning that lots of women are in relationships and fucking the same man but they just don't realize it. Chad knows of course. Which is why it's called a "Soft" Harem. As these women have no idea it's going on. And apps like "Tea" and Facebook Groups like "Are We Dating The Same Man" prove this.

RedPillDad · 2025-08-07T01:47:15+00:00

They chose to stay single BECAUSE they cant land the top men.

Livid-Log7463 · 2025-08-07T05:33:46+00:00

There aren’t enough inherently very desirable men to go around hence the choosing to be single, same thing as exclusively being open to very desirable men.

Remember that when regarding looks women’s in groups bias of 5x plays a part in thinking other women look better.

Fine_Video7691 · 2025-08-07T01:46:23+00:00

Why do men think women are trying to share the top men?

Why are "Are we dating the same guy? groups" and the Tea app so ridiculously popular with women? Is it all a hoax created by Putin? Or is it the elephant in the room of in-your-face proof?

Should we also note the repeated studies which show that if online dating apps were an economy, they would be the most unequal economy in the world.

I don’t believe in using men I don’t desire for their resources. I simply won’t date them . It’s not fair to date a man for his money then starve him out in the bedroom .

I respect you for your integrity. But I caution you that many women could see your views as a luxury belief.

Alone_Ambition_3729 · 2025-08-07T06:14:53+00:00

Most women aren't explicitly sharing the top men in overt harems.

And some women are legitimately celibate.

But a lot of women who engage in casual sex, or go thru a series of short-mid-term relationships that they believe are monogamous (and often are indeed monogamous) are effectively sharing the same men.

I'll explain the monogamous relationships because it's probably not obvious. If women move thru a series of short term monogamous relationships but the men move from one of these relationships to the next twice as fast, the women are still effectively sharing. The same trend occurs with casual sex, and is actually much more acute. Fuckboys hookup very often; most women who enjoy hookups are not hooking up as frequently as the men they're hooking up with. And then of course there's guys who cheat, monkey branch, and try to juggle multiple girls (AWDTSG)

You can also look at history to know this isn't a weird aberration. During parts of human history, 17 women reproduced for every 1 man who did.

Strudelhund · 2025-08-07T07:46:01+00:00

Only 19% of women age 30-49 are single. 70% of women are overweight or obese. The vast majority of women are not choosing to be single and they're not taking care of themselves either.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2025-08-07T01:46:30+00:00

It's usually implied: when a woman with a sexual past of any sort is choosing to be single, there's usually a very non-zero chance that some hot dirtbag is dicking her down well while she keeps him a secret

Superannuated_punk · 2025-08-07T02:30:56+00:00

When you take a 35 year old woman and put her in the same room as a 35 year old man the woman looks miles better.

Big if true.

IMO, we’re all looking pretty fucken careworn by our late 30s.

My male friends in their 30s are taking much better care of themselves than my mid-40s compatriots. Workout routines, diets, skincare, you name it.

If makeup was socially acceptable, they’d be looking better than the gals, imo.

WanabeInflatable · 2025-08-07T05:24:24+00:00

Okay, be single. We don't mind.

Also you tirade exactly matches the statement, that women try to aim for top men (as majority are beneath you). There is not enough men that you find attractive, so you either share them or remain single.

Given attitude and entitlement of women, I see no problem in you being single. Men lose nothing by not being in relationship with majority of these women.

wtknight · 2025-08-07T11:29:49+00:00

When you take a 35 year old woman and put her in the same room as a 35 year old man the woman looks miles better.

That’s not what I’ve seen. Women at that age look on average more obese than men do at that age, although they don’t usually have the balding issue that men have. I think that a lot of mid-30s women are delusional about how good they look, although not all, of course, and some women at that age take good care of themselves, just as some men do.

James_M_Croft · 2025-08-07T12:50:32+00:00

"Why buy, when you can rent?" Most men are not interested in romantic relationships. they are interested in sex, and having a sexual partners available and willing;

In my 20s I had at one point 5 purely sexual relationships, and with exception of one, they all knew of each other and studied together at some point and 2 of them were even best friends. At the same time, my sister was having sex with her boss and knew of at least 2 other women in her office doing the same.

When men talk about women being in "harems', they mean this.

Not literally being married or dating the same guy, men don't "own" women anymore, they "rent" them. So they are always single, but rarely if ever not "sharing the same man".

smlwng · 2025-08-07T02:15:18+00:00

Not sure how men aging better is a myth. Just about every "hottest man alive" survey ends up being some guy in his +40's whereas "hottest woman alive" is always a pre-30 model.
Also, looks aren't everything. IMO, women far more willing to offset a man's look for his status in choosing a mate. The same cannot be said for men. Sure they'll date older women but when it comes to choosing a mate, looks does not offset age by a significant margin. I don't think a vast majority of men want to actually settle with good looking +40 year olds. They are far more willing to settle for mid 20-30 year olds.

SexCrispies · 2025-08-07T10:42:30+00:00

Oh, you got that wrong. Women are finding men they find physically and mentally attractive. Those men just do not want to commit to the women, and rather go for women with mutual attraction. Men aging better is a biological truth. Ask any dermatologist or read a freaking book about aging.

On average, 35 yo men and women are overweight. So don't tell me about taking care of themselves.

2025-08-07T16:32:03+00:00

Cause i saw it when a friend who was already good with women had a glo up financially. All of a sudden his exs who couldnt stand him wanted to live in the same house and even one who was pregnant by another dude. Like living in that same house as him was blackpilling.

ReasonConfident4541 · 2025-08-07T04:21:03+00:00

Women ageing isn't a myth Women look better when younger. Period.

shadowrangerfs · 2025-08-07T08:42:33+00:00

Those women don't know that they are sharing those men. That's why they created things like, Are we dating the same guy.

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No-Rough-7390 · 2025-08-07T10:39:16+00:00

OP, this was seven years ago so I don’t know how apt it is now, but I can assure you women from all walks of life do engage in this.

I dated multiple women who all knew about one another and what was going on. I was open to an LTR but needed time to feel it was the right situation for me.

These women varied in age, upbringing, career, etc and were still fine with it. Most of these women did not date other dudes, per them, but the ones that did opened my eyes the most. They’d go in dinner dates with guys, have them uber them to my place after and bring me food, then make fun of their dates after we had some fun.

MarioWilson122 · 2025-08-07T20:04:36+00:00

They may look miles better because unlike men they can wear makeup that greatly improves their looks. Also dressing in a more sexual way can easily make them seem more alluring aswell.

Many tricks women have that increase their sex appeal in a way that men simply cant do. A man has to actually go out and get the body by doing the work in the gym and eating right. Cant afford to slack off and still look good at the end of the day.

If older women continue to opt out and continues to grow it will start to make it look even more silly if they are to criticize men for going younger. Because if the 30+ group isnt available then the men will have to go for the younger ones at the point.

awakening_7600 · 2025-08-08T02:29:07+00:00

Just read Tom Brady news from just this past week. Seen with Sofia Vergara, Irina Shayk, Gisele Bundchen and others. These are high level female celebrities that all could be with the same high level male.

And that is just what is public.

LoopyPro · 2025-08-08T09:00:42+00:00

Single in this context still means hooking up.

Let's say we have 10 girls and 10 guys in a closed environment. In good faith, which outcome seems more likely?

10 pairs. Everyone's happy with their choice of partner.
Most women trying to get with the most attractive guys, while the least attractive guys end up with nobody.

For the mathematicians: will we get a linear or Gaussian distribution? Tinder data supports the Gaussian hypothesis.

BaronIncognito · 2025-08-13T14:27:23+00:00

Women aren't TRYING to share the top men, they are unintentionally doing it based on the modern dating environment.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-08-13T15:32:26+00:00

“Choosing to be single” means choosing not to date YOU, not choosing to not hook up with “top men”.

Obviously I’m purple so “no, not all women”, but there is a trend.

deletbait · 2025-08-07T01:58:46+00:00

Well tbf 90% of the men here are not talking of 35 year old woman so the idea of them opting out means nothing to me personally.

As for why I believe that alot of women are sharing top men. Well for one I don't believe women are sharing "top men" I think they're getting into causal relationships with attractive men who are none committal or getting into relationships with men who want completely different things, their getting into "relationships" where if you asked the girl she's in a relationship and if you ask a guy he'll say they're just hooking up. I believe this is happening because I see this irl. Women are either doing the causal dating thing where they're in none committed relationships that they mistakenly take seriously or they're in actual serious relationships. The men these women get with seemingly don't have issues find partners so clearly they have options i.e. alor of women want them.

ilikecats18851 · 2025-08-07T06:36:36+00:00

A lot of men think making money.

Ain't that damn true, sista.

Title	Why do men think women are trying to share the top men? A lot of women are choosing to be single
Author	Historical-Body-3424
Upvotes	4
Comments	294
Date	August 7, 2025 1:40 AM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1mjn6is/why_do_men_think_women_are_trying_to_share_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-men-think-women-are-trying-to-share-the-top.1559060 https://theredarchive.com/post/1559060

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