Men and women both settle on different traits for different reasons

When keep having these same discussions about husband material or hookup material, when the answer is extremely simple and we can all accept it if we first accept that men and women think differently, and as such, male vetting and female vetting works differently for different reasons as well.

Let's start with best case scenarios for both men and women. That's finding a partner you're very sexually attracted to and makes a good LTR partner. Everybody want that and every one wants to be that. Problem is, not everyone is that for potential partners.

Where men have a tendency to settle is for the criteria to have sex. Why? Because the majority of men can't get casual sex easily. You're more likely to find men in committed relationships, than men who can have tons of casual sex at the drop of a hat. Women suffer from the opposite problem, they can get sex easily, but can't get commitment or marriage whenever they want, so both end up complaining about the opposite problems.

We end up having these arguments about "husband material" because neither side likes to be settled on. Women don't like hearing "you were the person most likely to sleep with me but I'd never date you" anymore than men like to hear "you were the person most likely to commit to me and treat me well, but I'd never have had a hookup with you." I think the reason some women have a harder time admitting them lowering standards for "husband material" because unlike men who can easily say "I lowered my standards for sex" because it was just a hookup and they already moved on from that relationship, women know it sounds worse to say "I lowered my physical standards to get commitment from the guy I'm with" because they're likely still with that guy or possibly married to that guy. Whether it's to convince themselves or others, doesn't look good either way so they spin it best they can. CMV if you can.