CMV: Alpha Fucks/Beta Buxx is projection because it’s men who don’t want to settle down until their 30s

sparklyyblueberryy · 2022-11-25T03:36:16+00:00

Increased male sexlessness is associated with increase in average age of marriage.

jobbo321 · 2022-11-25T10:17:40+00:00

You're doing the classic woman thing where you don't see non-Chad men as actual men, and thus take them out of the equation.

Men with options are the ones who will not settle, because they have all the leverage. They could get a new girlfriend every two months, and those short-stints of having a girlfriend are far more dopamine inducing than marriage. There's no incentive for them to marry.

Most normal Joes can't "pull" another woman as quickly as chad. They are the ones who will swipe on Tinder, risk it all asking his female co-worker out and hit clubs in hopes of scoring (where they will often fail). Normal Joe might often get rejected, but he'll eventually get a girlfriend from that 1/10 chance. Normal Joe knows that he has little leverage, so he's not going to break up as quickly.

gymbro718nyc2 · 2022-11-24T22:08:27+00:00

Mary young so when you get divorced you are still cute enough to date again.

Anykindofland · 2022-11-24T21:11:37+00:00

This is just a long wording of the myth that men are the gatekeepers of commitment. The truth is, finding sex or a relationship is both hard for men. Maybe the second on is a bit easier since casual sex is harder to obtain but its still a grind.

chikiinugget · 2022-11-24T21:31:04+00:00

Why do we want 20 year olds to make decisions about having kids and spending their life with someone when they can’t even decide on their university degrees and what they want to do with our lives. Half end up dropping out, switching careers, starting business. But god forbid they decide their first girlfriend/boyfriend might not be the right person to have kids with

NockerJoe · 2022-11-24T21:00:01+00:00

One of my best friends in highschool married a girl he'd more or less been dating since lime second grade. By college I already had classmates who were married. A lot of my single friends in their 20's want relationships. Theres no shortage of men who want relarionships young.

nuisancetosociety · 2022-11-25T00:00:05+00:00

looking at your recent posts, im gonna pretend this is a low level bait troll post.

modidlee · 2022-11-24T23:11:51+00:00

The guy that doesn't have many options would be glad to "settle down" with one woman. It's the guys that have options that want to play the field until they're old. And coincidentally it's often those guys women are most attracted to.

Sad_Top1743 · 2022-11-24T22:04:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

CentralAdmin · 2022-11-25T09:41:24+00:00

They, whether Chad or non-Chad, all want to keep their options open, sow their wild oats and it’s only when their hairline starts to recede and their belly starts to soften that they try to lock down the women they’re with.

The only men who are able to sow their wild oats to the extent you are describing are the minority of men who are very desirable to women.

Most men would marry younger than older because their female peers are in their prime. They tend to get rejected in their youth a lot more than women and are only desirable as marriage material when they're more established financially.

https://abc7chicago.com/cornell-university-researchers-blame-the-decline-of-us-marriages-on-a-shortage-economically-attractive-men-for-unmarried-women-to-marry/5528921/

Men get shamed for not wanting to settle down and now it's because they aren't wealthy enough for women. The ideal man earns 60% more than the national average. Half of the US earns 40k a year or less. Are you sure men are the ones trying to avoid settling down when they aren't wealthy enough for women to consider them for marriage?

Older men get more attention from women so finding a wife is way easier. When you are 22 and fresh out of trade school or college, no woman is going to give you a second look. But a decade later you have more money and status. Of course you may have had a few relationships along the way. Maybe a drunken hook up or two. But unless you are in demand among women in your 20s, you will more than likely be a hit among the overweight single moms in their 30s desperate for a bail out.

As luck would have it, one of them isn't grossly overweight, doesn't have kids and she is 28. She is showing interest. You will probably become one of the many people who tend to wait until their late 20s and early 30s to get married.

That's the trend and it exists not because men don't want to marry young - otherwise women would be pressuring them to marry at 24 instead - but because women aren't ready to quit their careers until their fertility, youth and beauty begin to fade and they can rely on a man (who now has some money after a decade of working) to fund their lifestyle.

Men in their 20s are far more likely to be single than men in their 30s. They are also a growing sexlessness demographic.

https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/#:~:text=Among%20men%2C%20those%20younger%20than,of%20men%2065%20and%20older.

This isn't a generation of men beating down hordes of women who are trying to force them to commit. They are desperate, lonely and giving up on society. They are not sowing their oats at all.

They aren't even approaching women for any oat sowing to happen:

https://www.staturepr.com/news/75-of-men-are-too-scared-to-chat-up-women/

Ppdebatesomental · 2022-11-24T23:18:59+00:00

No one is failing anyone. People are getting married at 28f/30m. Great age to marry. That means people are typically 24/26 when they settle down. People who get together younger have high rates of divorce.

Fit-Faithlessness149 · 2022-11-24T22:41:19+00:00

You forget the other part of TRP. NEVER MARRY. Date, but never tie yourself to any person with legal repurcussions.

IMendicantBias · 2022-11-25T01:45:43+00:00

[permanently deleted]

5hakeit0ff · 2022-11-24T20:44:00+00:00

they can’t, in this economy.

But ultimately, it’s men who are failing society morally from a sexual standpoint. Men need to be willing to be monogamous if they want women to stop having multiple partners.

LOL.

Men, do you see what happens when you don't have a patriarchy? You will be devoured like a black widow spider and then you will be blamed for not coming friccaseed with enough black pepper

Look alive boyos

Don't let them guilt you. It's either them, or you. You're either at the table or you're on the menu

Aren't you sick of being food?

SwaySh0t · 2022-11-24T22:08:11+00:00

Like most on this sub, people don’t understand the red pill enough to be able to debate it knowledgeably. AF/BB has everything to do with women’s duel mating strategy, has nothing to do with men. Red pill “ideology” is really just behavioral science.

There are 2 issues with your argument. 1) there’s no incentive to settle down for attractive men outside of having kids/marriage. 2) most men won’t be attractive enough to most women until they get older which usually happens in their 30’s.

Edit 3) most women are actively taught and being marketed too that they have alll the time in the world( ignoring their biological clock) and that they don’t need to settle down. Generally speaking women do not want commitment in their partying phase years.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-11-24T22:58:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2022-11-24T22:29:33+00:00

I don't think this necessarily contradicts AF/BB. The concept is that the "beta men" wanted to spend their 20's having casual sex but were rejected.

But yes, i do agree that men should be more willing to get married earlier.I got married in my early 20's and don't feel like i missed out at all.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2022-11-25T09:49:54+00:00

Your logic is false.

You're arguing, essentially, a tu quoque. "Men do it too/do something similar." But this doesn't disprove AF/BB (or at least some variations thereof).

It is perfectly possible for AF/BB to be true, and for men to generally want to be promiscuous and want to avoid settling down. These aren't in contradiction.

they try to lock down the women they’re with.

Erm, that simply doesn't happen. It is women who place pressure to commit onto men, rarely the other way around.

If men wanted earlier marriage, there are piles of women who would go for it....But they don’t, and further, they can’t, in this economy.

That's just blame shifting. You're more or less saying that men are unmarriageable when they're younger... but then blaming men for women declining to marry them.

But ultimately, it’s men who are failing society morally from a sexual standpoint.

You. Aren't. Entitled. To. A. Man. Who. Meets. Your. Standards.

abaxeron · 2022-11-25T14:24:19+00:00

You know why if you punch a person 10 times, and after they're done saying "Hey, stop! Hey, not cool man!" and FINALLY punch you back, you don't get to say that they are the aggressor?

Men in their 20s are the ones who don’t want to settle down. They, whether Chad or non-Chad, all want to keep their options open,

I was ready to close my options forever the moment a girl confessed her feelings to me for the first time when I was 16. Then she gave a blowjob to my buddy and gave her virginity to my other buddy. Then she dumped the other buddy and switched through 3-4 other guys before going back to the blowjob fella. Then she dumped the blowjob fella and married a foreigner.

Yeah. After that, the idea of keeping my options open kinda became alluring.

IntegrityDJones · 2022-11-25T15:01:43+00:00

Yea the whole cock carousel is just projection of how men actually want to be. They want to screw and screw and run through tons of women in their 20s and then settle down with an 18 year old virgin when they’re 30. That’s what the men on here rage about. Missing out casual sex.

swordfishrenegade · 2022-11-24T21:18:29+00:00

Nah.

Ambassadior · 2022-11-25T20:22:20+00:00

This is the absolute opposite of what I see in men from the moment they hit puberty. They get a crumb of pussy and are whipped to that woman like a dog, until she becomes so insufferable that it's no longer worth the reward.

LillthOfBabylon · 2022-11-25T00:12:13+00:00

Also, couple who marry younger have a higher chance of divorce.

The guys who complain about not settling down werent able to sow their wild oats. However, the women willing to settle down early wouldnt want them due to multiple issues (such as social skills).

5eggsEveryday · 2022-11-25T00:42:42+00:00

From my experience (I'm in my early 40s), it's women who nowadays want to shop around, try every dick imaginable and ride the carousel until they hit the wall. I've date multiple women in western world, they all, every single one, claimed that they don't want the kids until their are 30. I almost made a mistake once proposing to one of them. Phew. Saved my dignity here. She wasn't the one.

Maybe it's different in eastern world though. It is probably different.

Aubrey_D_Graham · 2022-11-25T02:10:17+00:00

You meant Chads in their 20s and 30s dont want to settle with you. Beta Billy is more than happy to build a family together with his woman, but none pick him.

Lanky-Sale-5449 · 2022-11-25T00:04:03+00:00

you are missing that men and women biological are different. men are not ready to lead a family financially and emotionally in their 20s. women are at their best at 20 and come with full value that then declines. men really need to be a decade older to start a family because of the role a man has. you cant settle down at 25 when you have to build yourself first. women are just ready.

and since most men have no options and most women have sexual options and also recive the damage, its their responsibility. the biggest pool of men has a couple of women in his life time. you cant out the blame on the people who have no choice. women just need to stop sleeping with a man without LTR commitment. case closed. the 5 percent of men who fuck most women wont change because they dont pay any price. its the bulk of women who needs to refuse to protect their value. its your responsibility.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-11-25T00:44:30+00:00

OP, there are plenty of men who want monogamous relationships.

AF/BB is a term because it's so often observed by the men who want loyalty.

Deny it all you like.

username_6916 · 2022-11-25T06:44:44+00:00

I wanted to be a good husband at 20. Where were these piles of women?

IMendicantBias · 2022-11-25T02:58:35+00:00

Men in their 20s are the ones who don’t want to settle down.

neigh every man online will say they would have settled down in their early 20s if women could act right or got married then raked through the coals in divorce before 30.

No matter how many times we explain the process of modern dating women ignore what doesn’t fit the negative narrative on men to form and live out their hivemind fairytale perception where men are only the problem.

None0fYour8usiness · 2022-11-25T07:23:58+00:00

Every post like this needs an added disclaimer of "only the men I find attractive are like this" because if you actually look at men in total it's hilarious how wrong you are.

dynospectrum7 · 2022-11-25T01:24:27+00:00

Your second paragraph is a lie. Rational Male does not say that.

techr0nin · 2022-11-25T04:02:46+00:00

I’m 40 and about half of my male peers married either right out of school or within a couple of years. These are generally the healthy well-adjusted types with a stable career trajectory marrying a looks-matched woman within a similar socio-economic background.

Of the unmarried ones, a small minority are indeed players that refused to settle down right away. Most though still end up married somewhere in their late 20s early 30s after they’ve had their fill.

The rest are the leftovers. Some are indeed unattractive and couldn’t get a girl to save their life. Others though date on and off (definitely not “sowing their wild oats” via casual sex) and their primary issue is they simply can’t find a looks-matched person that is also willing to settle.

2022-11-25T07:54:41+00:00

As a man, I was absolutely looking for a long relationship when I was between 18 and 25...

But I couldn't find a girl wanting to date me.

Then I took what I could get. First kiss at 26 with a woman who I never thought would do a good girlfriend

EqualistAdvocate · 2022-11-25T08:17:09+00:00

For the men who get all the attention, what incentive do they have to settle down? The system works great for them. There are no downsides...

For the rest, it takes considerable effort to attract a woman they would want to settle down with.

NotTheBestMoment · 2022-11-25T06:29:08+00:00

In this economy? Hell does that have to do with anything

carljungs · 2022-11-25T03:00:56+00:00

Chad is a country in Africa. Is it hard to use an adjective or numbers on attraction level or scale? So this is putting the blame on men saying they don't want to settle down until they are fat and balding. From what I understand it's about being the best person to yourself first and develope so you can be a good husband, father, etc. Also men suffer a greater financial and social loss due to obligations after a divorce in the America legal system and more women initiate the divorce if they are not satisfied with the marriage.

Teacup000 · 2022-11-25T00:02:52+00:00

In my social circle, there are more eligible young men than women. It's all in who you know, I guess.

Relative_Bee8356 · 2022-11-25T20:01:08+00:00

I don't disagree with your main point -- I definitely knew a lot of women struggling in their early twenties because they wanted something serious and guys their age were still a lot more interested in having fun. I know of a few breakups that happened for the same reason.

I disagree that this is a moral failing, though. It's smart. Maybe people should fuck around and wait until their late twenties to settle down. It builds character and teaches you about yourself. Make the big decisions once you've got some life experience and a fully developed cerebellum. The side effect of a society where this is normal is that people tend to have more lifetime sexual partners but that's... totally fine. Women don't care, men don't care nearly as much as guys here claim and maybe it's for the best if the ones who do care end up alone and childless so they don't pass it on.

This isn't even a "breakup with your high school sweetheart to experience life" post, more like "if you find a good relationship super young then enjoy yourselves for a nice long while before you do marriage and babies."

Temporary_Visual8414 · 2022-11-24T20:52:54+00:00

Why should guys be forced to settle down?

Repulsive-Cupcake505 · 2022-11-24T21:04:52+00:00

Alpha / beta don’t really have much to do with when men settle down. It has to do with how women view men.

This is a good video of two women in a talk show talking about it

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cj3PIdVp5MV/?igshid=Nzg3NjI1NGI=

AutoModerator · 2022-11-24T16:14:47+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

MiaRX22 · 2022-11-24T23:32:34+00:00

I'd say it're more a projection because of men who don't believe they can settle down in their 30's and hate others for doing the same thing. If they could I doubt they'd care

IHateNattyNormies · 2022-11-25T00:51:50+00:00

Getting married before 25 for both men and women seems pretty retarded to me

nothatyoucare · 2022-11-25T00:53:12+00:00

Nah I lived thru it myself. First girl I ever fell in love with too.

But dual mating strategy is a known thing.

SnooCupcakes9990 · 2022-11-25T06:35:08+00:00

This statement couldn't be further from the truth. Majority of people I know are females doing the opposite

StolenSpirit · 2022-11-25T09:24:30+00:00

People actually meet up and try to form a a relationship? Im 29 and it's dry as a bone out there. I gave me up.

Jorian_Murgrave · 2022-11-25T13:40:27+00:00

Dont fuck ugly

gate18 · 2022-11-25T14:28:04+00:00

But ultimately, it’s men who are failing society morally from a sexual standpoint. Men need to be willing to be monogamous if they want women to stop having multiple partners.

As long as men don't harm anyone they are failing no one. Any moral system that says otherwise is wrong.

If men don't want to be monogamous they aren't morally corrupt for not wanting to. Of course, if that leads women to have multiple partners, shrug. My desire not to want monogamy has nothing to do with what women do with their lives.

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-11-25T15:48:07+00:00

I have yet to see a handsome guy in his early 20s that actually wants to settle.

Choice_Ad_6230 · 2022-11-25T16:11:06+00:00

Just never any god damn accountability. NEVER.

Think_gawd · 2022-11-26T05:46:27+00:00

I never met a single woman in my 20s who wanted a relationship, and I did. They all just wanted flings.

Title	CMV: Alpha Fucks/Beta Buxx is projection because it’s men who don’t want to settle down until their 30s
Author	FancyCocktailOlive
Upvotes	80
Comments	299
Date	November 24, 2022 4:14 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/z3nxs1/cmv_alpha_fucksbeta_buxx_is_projection_because/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-alpha-fucksbeta-buxx-is-projection-because-its.1142015 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142015

Comments