Why do women have more choices/are not that interested in relationships?

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-03-16T22:01:38+00:00

I’ve only met very few women in my life that don’t want a relationship. Most women do want relationships, they just aren’t willing to settle beneath their standards.

D00d00f4c3 · 2022-03-17T06:01:17+00:00

Historically speaking, women probably had just as little desire as now. The difference? Arranged marriages and selling daughters and shit.

Another example looking to something other than modern day humans is looking at mating seen in other mammals. The male dogs will be all over a bitch in heat and she (seems to be) trying to get away. I’d imagine it quite scary to have a shitload of males trying to fuck (anyone here, imagine yourself in than scenario, and I’m talking more to the dudes in here since the women probably have experienced this irl).

She trades off the strongest “alpha” dog fucking her to get the bajillions of other dogs away from her. He protects her from being raped and she is like “I guess this feels okay.“

I wish their thoughts could be converted into human language.

Essentially, female choice exists now because laws and a bunch of “social constructs” (in their most accurate form). Legislation cannot alter the size and strength of males being significantly higher than females.

With rules in place (that clearly do not always work) for women, we are finding that many heterosexual females are “meh” about men. Could take em or leave em. But it doesn’t go the other way. I imagine MGTOWs deeply want a woman but have given up out of being hurt enough. Women do this all the time but seem to be more chill about it.

And think about this: in a marriage, the man dying first doesn’t matter a ton for the woman’s longevity. On the other hand, there are tons of anecdotes of the man quickly dying without his mate.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2022-03-17T00:40:43+00:00

It’s not that women have more choices in who to commit to it’s that a lot of women are walking away from relationships in general and not because they want to but because the relationships being offered are less appealing that staying single. With so many women walking away there are less women to go around so it gives the appearance that women are playing the field because the ones you see out and about are usually 304’s.

TilTheWarIsWon · 2022-03-16T23:56:30+00:00

All other things being equal, the average single woman has more plants and pets and friends to meet some of their maternal and social needs than the average single man. So a man has to bring a lot to the table for a woman if she's going open her mental/emotional/physical space to a man and take on the potential burdens of unbalanced domestic work and/or pregnancy/childcare

ruboyuri · 2022-03-16T22:43:45+00:00

Women seem to have more choice and less interest in relationships because men are hornier than women, and the relationship/sex markets are combined

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-17T02:42:11+00:00

women are typically socialized in a way that allows for deeper, closer friendships. men are taught more to hold things in. i’ve known a lot of guys who only rely on their girlfriends for emotional support, and when they don’t have one it feels like something is missing in life. women are more likely to get this through friendships. the guys i know who have really close best friends tend to be the ones who don’t care as much about relationships it seems

NakedStreets · 2022-03-16T22:17:28+00:00

Which part seems like fun?

Pregnancy?

Labor?

Lifelong health impacts, often including loss of bladder control?

Nursing and bleeding nipples?

Doing (statistically) more chores than any other demographic?

chingness · 2022-03-17T07:25:35+00:00

I think most women would love a relationship but not to the detriment of other aspects of their lives. If you read some of the demands the men here have for knowledge over a woman’s past, how much they want to have power over women and make them feel badly about themselves (sexual history, ageing, their perceived value) you can see why women on PPD would opt out of dating such men. It would make you miserable! Far more so than being independent and keeping the company you like (friends, alone time, dates if you like and hobby time)

There are good partners out there but if I lost mine I’d prob rather be alone than date these days - i don’t want to end up with a man using lies to be with me, or who doesn’t see me as my own autonomous human being capable of rational thinking and providing for myself. No thank you

fyi - mating is a weird word to keep using for human relationships and doesn’t account for the fact that sex is not purely for procreation and many people don’t want kids these days.

_that_dam_baka_ · 2022-03-17T10:26:05+00:00

Women are at that stage, socially and financially, where they don't need men. Many of them free up in societies where women's were expected to take care of all the housework for everyone. So, a lot of women go through the phase of “Well I don't need a husband so I'm not gonna get one!”

But that's not too day they don't want a partner. It's just that now men have to be amazing. A self-provisioned psychology once told me

“My natural state is one of solitude. If someone comes asking and improves upon that state...”

Basically, date because you want to, not because you have to. It's hard for men to for the “desirable” criteria. The way I saw my parents: I don't need to marry.

But from what I saw of the female police officer and the husband who, when he was unemployed, did all the housework: oh wow that sounds nice. (She gets all medical bills comped. 100%)

The change in traditional system has given women options. It's given men options too. It's just that most men are too ashamed to consider being house husbands.

.

One of the explanations I read was that the resources that men provided are not anymore needed by women. But this only relate to survival, not to the only important driver of evolution, which is mating. Why women would have less desire to mate than men?

The way societies were structured for the last few hundred years, women were more concerned with survival than mating. Sex (and therefore producing offspring) was something they were expected to do. Now, it can be done for Fun. So only men who are good at it will get opportunities.

Fact is, women were taught to be dependent and thus be afraid of their husbands. The perpetual use of the stick meant that they now have little interest in carrots cz they're expecting sticks.

Relationships are a gamble and women were taught to play it safe.

I'm out of metaphors. I hope that makes sense.

~Sincerely,

A Woman Who Doesn't Want A Relationship.

likestocuddleandmore · 2022-03-17T12:44:22+00:00

The simple reason why women have less desire to mate than men is because mating for men is super easy. You just deposit sperm. For women it’s your body being destroyed by pregnancy for 9 months, then some more destruction and loads of pain from delivering a baby, breastfeeding, having to be responsible for a new life whether or not the sperm donor sticks around. There is a lot of logistics and it’s not exactly jolly good time. Women don’t get the same kind of glee from passing on their dna as men do.

Katatonicsnake · 2022-03-17T07:43:14+00:00

What are those options? Are they considered as options by women? My friend’s mother used to say that to get a man is easy, but finding a partner is difficult. Sure, if I was single, I could be in a semi-functional relationship tomorrow if I wanted, but that doesn’t mean that I find it a real option.

Women can have children without a relationship with a man. I’m sure I will be downvoted to oblivion for this, but the reality is that even good semen is relatively cheap. I know many women who have either bought it, or consider to do so, without a partner. The popularity of independent motherhood is increasing. I recently met an old family friend. She said that she doesn’t need a man, she already has a dog farting on the couch.

Women often do the majority of chores and emotional labor in a relationship. It seems to me that many women have decided not to do that. I can see why. If I had to choose any of my friends’ relationships, I would stay single. Maybe someone feels the same why about mine.

2022-03-16T23:04:24+00:00

Women are not as horny/encouraged to be horny or encouraged to seek validation from the opposite gender. So they just go pick up a hobby or sit on their asses at home relaxing or some shit, wish men would do the same

SuspiciousRule · 2022-03-17T03:49:07+00:00

Not all women want kids or a relationship and now these women have more choice since we already have means of survival.

nightmar3gasm · 2022-03-17T01:47:15+00:00

I am happy by myself because I just am, although I do long for a connection. So while I’m open to a relationship, I don’t want to have a relationship for the sake of having a relationship. It’s has to be the right person or I’d rather be alone.

sleuthoftrades1 · 2022-03-16T21:57:03+00:00

Women believe men are shitty, I've seen women here say that like 99.9% of straight men are "trash". In the same breath, they say the men here are anomalies and the men they know in real life are normal. But also, the things men here say about the dating advantages women have in real life don't count because in real life the dating options are overwhelmingly bad. None of it is consistent, except for consistently shitting on men.

cocoyumi · 2022-03-17T00:50:32+00:00

Perspective; I’m a woman who is indefinitely single by choice, isn’t seeking a relationship , doesn’t want kids or marriage etc. For me, I do feel like I have more ‘immediately available’ options if I want quick satisfaction in terms of sex or dating but it doesn’t feel any more available to me when it comes to real lifelong connection. In my experience any guy I approach will be interested; even if they don’t know me. People have claimed to love me based on my looks. Seems cushy but what this means is that I have to filter through a bunch of people who just want to have an attractive woman attached to them, instead of actually see me as a human being. It’s exhaustive. This also means they chronically misrepresent themselves or tell me whatever they think I want to hear- so I also don’t end up really knowing them. The idea of being open to having a child and being stuck to a man like this disgusts me, but I also have never really wanted kids tbf. It seems like a ball and chain I will never be allowed to escape (society definitely shames absent mothers more than absent fathers). I’ve also never had a partner offer to really support me past everything being 50/50, which is what I always do anyway, so the idea of a relationship doesn’t offer me any additional feelings of security. My entire existence feels easier when I do not have to factor in looking after a man child in some way who doesn’t really contribute anything to my life. Also I think ‘maternal instinct’ and the constant conversation about breeding being a drive is highly exaggerated to encourage people to couple up and follow the predetermined gender role status quo. Edit; oh and I have a very high libido but considering no man has ever consistently made me orgasm, I’d honestly rather masturbate and not have to perform for their fantasy narrative.

sarkington · 2022-03-16T22:06:58+00:00

Women have more choices because men are thirsty as hell. This is also why they appear more interested in relationships

BlockedAgainIGuess · 2022-03-16T22:02:05+00:00

You know that the growth of a new human that results from mating happens in the woman’s internal organs, right?

f3ng0 · 2022-03-17T09:16:00+00:00

I mean duh, when you see how many men these day belond on r/niceguys , it's no wonder that people wouldn't be looking for a relationship

flapperfemmefatale · 2022-03-16T22:05:33+00:00

In my experience, most men simply aren't worth dating.

2022-03-17T12:11:25+00:00

After reading what men think of women on here, why should I ever date one? It’s apparent y’all don’t like us very much.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-03-17T02:46:30+00:00

i wouldn’t necessarily say women have more options for dating. i mean sure “options” as in desperate guys who will date them because they want sex, not real compatibility. guess it depends on if you’d consider that a real option. truthfully, no matter what you are it can be hard to find someone compatible with you. i’d argue that people with niche interests and behaviors have fewer real options than those into more mainstream lifestyles, regardless of gender.

zerofeetpersecond · 2022-03-16T22:14:26+00:00

Women don’t need men for provisioning anymore so the bar is a lot higher. Having an income is expected at baseline. It’s the extras that make a relationship worth it

clitorophagy · 2022-03-17T11:04:53+00:00

The residual effects of the patriarchy are still very present in relationship expectations. In a relationship many men want or even expect expect sex, home cooked meals, laundry services, and emotional support.

JumboJetz · 2022-03-16T23:06:16+00:00

There are a number of men who are dating or sleeping with multiple women.

If you have 100 men, and 100 women, and 30 of the men have 2 women, and all the other women have 1 man, that means 30 men have no women.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-03-16T23:06:36+00:00

Simple biology, contrary to what some pseudoscience in a research paper will tell you, generally speaking men have higher libidos and think about sex more than women, just some good old fashion biological hardwiring and to use the adage that I always say on here, men look at women as sex objects women look at men as success objects, obviously generally speaking there are some attraction triggers that a woman is going to like such as height, a good build, muscles, etc. As well as the secondary characteristics that scream security, because obviously with a woman's risk of getting pregnant over the centuries that meant nine months of your life oh, so if you laid down with the wrong one, it could be a disaster, that's obviously been changed with the birth control pill and overall modern contraception

doMEaSOLid_reddit · 2022-03-17T05:09:02+00:00

Well, a woman may really want a relationship, but not with any of the men offering that. She has reasons.

gofigure62 · 2022-03-17T15:20:14+00:00

Women and men are socialized wildly different to the point where most heterosexual people are fundamentally incompatible due to how they're indoctrinated to behave and what they've been indoctrinated to believe.

Women typically want a PARTNERSHIP where there is emotional availability and mutual anticipation of needs through active listening and reciprocal action. Men on average do not have that capability.

Men typically want to be catered to and have a woman that fits into their lifestyle as an addition. Women are taught to perform and morph their identity to appease others, so women are capable of putting on an "Act" to be the ideal that their partner wants until they get burned out and have to acknowledge their own needs and identity as a human being. Which most men fundamentally do not like or want.

Women are dehumanized through male sexuality, men are dehumanized through the denial that basic human emotion/needs exist within them.

With the heterosexual expectation that women perform and cater to the male sexuality, most women are going to choose to be single since it's not an appealing or fulfilling offer for companionship.

-Giga- · 2022-03-16T22:20:06+00:00

Because men are trash and they don't want to accept it. Have you considered what shitty value propositions they make to women?

Males depended on the literal law, religious fiction written by men, their primitive hemotional violence, and domination of the gossip rumor mill to force a version of reality that benefit them and not women.

Now that a lot of that sexual socialism is lost and they have a little taste of the requirements and social arts women were forced to learn, they play victim.

They are gender of contradictions at this time and it wouldnt be so bad if they were more cooperative. But they are not. They create hostile dynamics and use their energy to disincentivize the female sex from dealing with them.

Women want relationships but trash males are factually a net negative.

You know how out of touch a male is when he says "okay you're gunna die alone with cats".

Imagine being so unlikable and entitled u dont realize your jeer sounds astronomically better than the prison sentence of a shitty man in your life.

I do not think they are all dumb. Thats why exceptions exist. But men who contribute to the very systems that force us to avoid anyone beneath a certain threshold prove the gender of poor empathy cannot picture a reality outside of their male POV.

And since that kinda guy is useless, here we are.

-ShesACarnival- · 2022-03-16T22:04:01+00:00

you dont need a man in your life to have a child anymore

the_blue_bottle · 2022-03-16T22:11:18+00:00

Why women would have less desire to mate than men?

Because of this: https://www.forthwithlife.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/hormone-graph-1024x718.png

On top of that: birth control messess with that entire system. That's how it prevents birth. THE most common side effect of birth control (besides prevention offc) is a reduced libido.

Imagine having a gender that's only as horny as men during a limited window called ovulation for 4-6 days a week AND THEN you supress that window.

Like...puberty hormones are still typically strong enough to break through and cause a libido regardless, but when that's done...

jayval90 · 2022-03-17T02:03:41+00:00

It's possible that women actually are more interested than men in a relationship, but the feedback nature of desire and dating leaves us in a weird equilibrium of men acting just a little too desperate because they perceive a shortage, which turns off the women making them withdraw, which makes the perceived shortage now just a bit real.

krischens · 2022-03-17T12:46:18+00:00

The fact that women are not interested in a relationship with you, doesn't mean they are not interested in them at all.

Profession_Mobile · 2022-03-17T01:47:37+00:00

I think these days it’s harder to find a high value man therefore not that women don’t want it. It’s harder to find and won’t invest in anything lower

zerofeetpersecond · 2022-03-16T22:27:25+00:00

In America women have more options. In many countries there is still a strong culture of being “unwifeable” and women move to places like the US to capitalize on thirst without limits.

TRDF3RG · 2022-03-17T07:27:36+00:00

Lots of reasons, but ultimately women just don't like straight men very much and men are much more tolerant of women than women are of men.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-03-17T00:42:53+00:00

I don't really think that women necessarily want relationships in the traditional sense. They just want someone who cares about them as a person and values them for who they are instead of only caring for them as a collection of moist holes. As a guy you can date multiple women as long as you show each and everyone that they are special to you for whatever reason. But let's face it. Even the biggest nice guy in the world would give up his nice guy ways just to have some anonymous sex.

Counter_Proposition · 2022-03-17T04:03:47+00:00

Women that are in the 3 to 7 range in terms of looks get “fuck zoned” plenty, TMK. Meaning they want a relationship, but the dudes they hook up with just hit and quit.

At least that’s what I hear…not that I’ve ever done that, lol

AhMadMeninist · 2022-03-17T04:52:56+00:00

if you are an ugly women, you will not find a partner that easy

s_zauez · 2022-03-16T21:51:51+00:00

20/80 rule bud

Shredddz · 2022-03-17T12:12:22+00:00

Its the cultural marxism and propaganda that deluded women into thinking they are that great, while at the same time making men insecure and submissive through propaganda in childhood, combined with the natural disconnect between the sexes reproductive strategies, like men not recognizing when they are used for resources with and women not even knowing there is a difference for men in wanting sex and relationships.

women naturally do not really have more options, because you have to measure the options of what the women want, which is relationships. But women do not do this and instead judge their options on the amount and quality of guys they can attract, which is a useless metric. Yes women have tons more options for sex than men, but so do men for relationships given that the natural environment presupposes women needing provision and protection to stay alive and not a modern world where the man is basically the government drawing in the resources and power from men and offering it to women.

there is no balance in an unnatural world. the solution would be to stop forcefully giving women a free ride in life and not just allow a government that throws everything onto women, and have media campaigns brainwashing men to throw their money onto women aswell.

If there was no propaganda and no laws givi g women unnatural power over men as a way foe the government to milk male resources, the problem would vanish.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-03-16T22:50:49+00:00

They get a taste of luxury (Chad), and don’t want to settle for regularity, despite being so themselves. Once the biological clock ticks louder and louder, there’s only two choices: choose the latter or be alone.

2022-03-17T00:53:23+00:00

Women have a bit more options, many men are not willing to commit to them though (yet still through free sex give the illusion thereof) and women are less horny than men are. We can only get pregnant during ovulation, sex else functions I guess as a bonding tool. Men are fertile all the time and while they learn general tools of self control, overall it’s easier for a woman to not have it impact life as it passes so it has to be surpressed for a shorter time.

JohnDoe_Rip · 2022-03-17T01:34:35+00:00

Isn’t the women on this sub always talking about how most women want relationships?

Longjumping-Mall-395 · 2022-03-17T05:55:27+00:00

“Why do women have more choices…”

This is mostly applicable in 1st world countries where feminism is prevalent.

Some factors to consider:

Finance/careers/education: As women increase their status they gain access/ are able to network with other higher status men (co-workers, supervisors/CEO), however this can be a hindrance making women disqualify most men deemed “below their equal” regardless if they are legitimate options.

Contraception: Women can have numerous sex partners without fearing to be stuck with any man, prior to contraception women were restricted due to child bearing to a much smaller pool of men.

Global dating: Instagram, tinder, okcupid..and other dating sites/apps has made it (more) possible for women date across/out of the country to get “flew out” seeking men of status that they would originally not been able find in their region (even in rural areas).

There’s more but those are the ones that comes to mind.

JameisBong · 2022-03-17T10:02:41+00:00

Options for sex doesn't mean options for a relationship.

Billy beta is only attractive if he offers long term stability for both her and her bad decisions. Depending on how badly she's screwed up, his cash may not be enough.

badsign12 · 2022-03-16T22:29:54+00:00

The way I understand it, people who are bitter online are bitter IRL. There's no hiding certain levels of bitterness. Bitter people are a drag to date or be in a relationship with. Hence, the men in relationships with some of the women commenting in this thread must be miserable.

That's some tight logic right there.

mextreme10 · 2022-03-17T00:44:02+00:00

What I’ve seen is that women don’t want relationships they want certain men.

Women used to actively seek out a relationship because it was the only way to move up socially and just about everything you ever got or did came from marrying a man.

Today women actively seek out a certain man. By this I mean a certain guy or class of guys that either materially changes their life i.e. significantly higher income, higher social status, plans dates etc. They also want that pure sexual desire, which most average men just don’t generate in women.

They don’t look for relationships for stability, commitment, and financials as much. They search for entertainment, sexual pleasure, and opportunities.

The dynamic switches back towards relationships with stability and finances when they’re older and looking to start a family. This is if they failed to lock down the guy that has the fun,exciting, pure lust and finances, commitment, stability package.

They still may resent who they eventually get for not being the fun exciting guys of their past.

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42nanaimobars · 2022-03-17T00:03:29+00:00

King Dominick: I can't convince you to stay?

Erika: Dominick, I... All my life I've dreamed of being free. Now my debt's been paid, thanks to Anneliese.

King Dominick: Where will you go?

Erika: Everywhere. I want to sing, see the world!

King Dominick: Then, I hope you'll take this with you. (Gives Erika a ring).

Erika: I couldn't.

Dominick: It was meant for you.

Erika: No promises?

King Dominick: I'll take my chances. (Erika takes off on her horse and then travels the world singing.)

Narrator: After months of traveling, Erika realized there was one place she wanted to stay more than anywhere else. Sometimes being free means choosing not to go, but to stay.

AtTheEnd777 · 2022-03-17T13:14:08+00:00

We have options. Just not many good ones.

Cristoff13 · 2022-03-17T13:53:51+00:00

Because men have a much higher sex drive than women.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-03-17T14:25:22+00:00

We have more choices on who whats just to have sex with us not who is going to be an actual compatible man for a long term.

Its not so easy to find this on either side.

DarkSp3ctre · 2022-03-17T16:09:05+00:00

No one likes a sausage fest

Nk-O · 2022-03-17T16:51:29+00:00

Because women biologically want to select the best mate. For that they need to be the most interesting female around (so they have a pool of interested men to select from).

Nowadays they can substitute that behaviour by getting likes on Instagram and Tinder.

Due to various societal policies (well fare state etc.) women really do not need a man nowadays. Unless maybe they want children. But even for that this society has created substitutes...

Men on the other hand, in this respect, are wired to spread their DNA so they have a higher sexual drive. So as this doesn't work (unless you belong to the top 5-10% (often just pretending because that's sufficient nowadays) Alpha Males), most men turn to porn, which then slowly wrecks their brain. (yourbrainonporn.com)

Title	Why do women have more choices/are not that interested in relationships?
Author	the_blue_bottle
Upvotes	60
Comments	340
Date	March 16, 2022 9:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/tfu5fs/why_do_women_have_more_choicesare_not_that/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-women-have-more-choicesare-not-that.1107219 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107219

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