Many women are perpetuating rape "culture" by being into aggressive men

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-04-27T18:45:06+00:00

Removed because some people are incapable of having a civil and calm discussion surrounding a sensitive topic.

yogadogsfriedfoods · 2022-04-27T16:18:11+00:00

jesus fucking christ this place

ruboyuri · 2022-04-27T15:05:53+00:00

I’m pretty sure the dominant narrative is that men are too thirsty, persistent and aggressive, rather than suffering from a lack

januaryphilosopher · 2022-04-27T16:13:01+00:00

I haven't heard that many times, especially not in response to aggression - when I've heard it, it's usually about the pair spending more quality time togetherm And there's a big difference between working hard to get something consensually and taking it without consent. Does money being hard to get perpetuate theft? Rape is entirely rapists' fault, and is only women's fault in the case of female rapists.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-04-27T15:19:19+00:00

Why is the blame here just not on the actual rapists?

gofigure62 · 2022-04-27T15:19:19+00:00

Rapists perpetuate rape by raping people.

You don't seem to know what rape is. Being in relationships doesn't protect women from rape.

A rapist will rape whoever they want because they're rapists. Thats what rapists do.

goatismycopilot · 2022-04-27T14:52:44+00:00

I thought this was a Hoo Doo man thread. So you are saying rape is women's fault because they like persistent men? How is being persistent analgalous to being a rapist?

OraleEse13 · 2022-04-27T16:17:54+00:00

Rape is the fore euro sexual activity on an unwilling participant. Your description doesn't make these women sound unwilling. Rather, they want a guy who is more pushy. That's not rape. That's fulfilling their wishes of being more pushy in order to satisfy whatever desire they have.

quiturbitchn · 2022-04-27T14:46:44+00:00

Fuck that shit. Stop victim blaming. Rapists rape because they choose to. And that is never ever the victim’s fault.

heartheartdoki96 · 2022-04-27T14:48:28+00:00

I've never heard a woman ever say "I wish he'd try harder". "I'm not going to give it up essy" means she will make him wait and prove hes a good guy, not that they want to be raped lol. Jesus you guys are insane.

And not showing interest doesn't mean you want to be raped Jesus. It just means she doesn't wanna seem desperate lolol. Like the solution is you as a guy should be nice and friendly, not overtly flirty and then expect them to say they love you back.

Your argument makes no sense. "Most guys shoot their shot and come on aggressively, and women don't respond. The guys that talk to women regularly and keep acting nice get more opportunities and therefore those men are aggressive"

Like being overly flirty and making it clear you wanna fuck a woman is aggressive. You're the one acting aggressive by making is extremely clear you wanna bone. Women aren't typically going to respond to that unless they're already interested in you and desperate to fuck.

I think you're the one being aggressive with women and acting rapey

Lakeyute · 2022-04-27T14:48:48+00:00

What the fuck?

Do you guys actually read some of your posts before submitting them? Women are not the reason you rape them.

baresquad · 2022-04-27T14:51:01+00:00

Man, dudes don’t understand anything about women. Like at all.

Rapist are violent aggressors who will rape regardless of situation. Nothing can be said or done to change that

When they’re talking about wanting somebody to be aggressive they’re specifically talking about a man they’re interested in romantically giving a bit more effort, what they’re not talking about is wanting a man who doesn’t understand the meaning of No.

This is kinda common sense

jawnzoo · 2022-04-27T16:27:52+00:00

i think you're confusing aggressive with assertive.
Yes girls like guys who will go for what they want.
no they don't want guys beating/r*ping them

also, toxic girls will go for toxic guys and vice versa

KirthWGersen · 2022-04-27T14:45:19+00:00

This is not perpetuating rape.

Rape may involve aggressive sexual behaviour. But aggressive sexual behaviour is more likely to be in the mutually fun category.

You are overlooking the only important issue here: consent.

A woman can consent or not consent to aggressive sex. But she cannot, by definition, consent to rape.

Most women like their men to be masculine. That does not mean they like to be raped.

boundarychimps · 2022-04-27T15:37:22+00:00

Are you sure you're not mistaking romcom plots for reality.

cowfishAreReal · 2022-04-27T14:52:22+00:00

What defines rape is the lack of consent. No woman has ever said they're into that because if they say they want it there is no longer a lack of consent. Stop victim blaming. That's like saying people that walk of the streets with their cellphones ate perpetuating muggings

operapeach · 2022-04-27T15:01:52+00:00

Aggression only works if someone is already interested my man. If she’s not acting interested, she isn’t interested.

Karmanger · 2022-04-27T15:16:12+00:00

Close enough, It can be argued that they select for boundary pushing men.

Since women mainly choose from those who approach them, and men understand that the whole interaction is on them at least the first month (setting up dates, Paying for dates, Getting the women interested in the man, then demonstrating sexual prowess) that selects for men who are willing to do/know to Pursue them, and excludes lazy men.

Since not all women are the same, a big chunk of women like when a Guy pursues them even after rejection. How many times have you talked to a girl who's with a guy and her reasons were "He just kept asking me so I said yes" (This is if your actual friends with the girl, Also these are girls in their 20-28 who has said this to me).

Just from a practical stand point. If you know that there are girls that like you to pursue even after rejection, then from a logical point of view it makes sense to push the boundaries until you get a nuclear response, or she caves in. Considering that most women I've talked to who have been abused by their husbands/boyfriends don't even report that to the police..... it just encourages those men and their ideology more.

Clearly a Risk Averse man won't even get to that point..Considerate men after getting rejected once WILL NOT PURSUE further. Men who are boundary pushers (Aggressive) will keep going until the cops are involved or the girl gives in.

This shows that Boundary pushers are the ones who get rewarded the most... BUT are the ones Females are complain about as well. The issue is since these are the most common men women encounter they lump all men together... Since Shy and awkward men aren't noticed by women in general... And Shy Awkward men get discouraged at even the hint of "Failure"

2022-04-27T16:23:32+00:00

If he’s aggressive he’s below me and I wouldn’t proceed.

Jhinn11 · 2022-04-27T18:07:09+00:00

Stop this nonsense

YoviQ · 2022-04-27T15:08:26+00:00

Man, what on earth are you talking about? Do you not know how consent works?

Mimimiiiiiiii · 2022-04-27T15:13:27+00:00

No clue what planet you live on, this simply is not a thing. Why would anyone even want to change your mind, you keep living in your bubble!

sarkington · 2022-04-27T14:58:06+00:00

Well, then, they get raped — which is one of the easiest crimes to get away with —- so, yay, justice ?

Since a minority of women are “causing” this behavior, and an even smaller minority of men are responding to them, I’m more interested in punishing the deliberate, not inadvertent, offenders

nigerianprince421 · 2022-04-27T15:45:55+00:00

How many times have you heard "I just wish he tried a little harder!" or "I'm not gonna give it up that easily." or women who you pursure don't give any indications to you that they're interested but later on you find out from someone else that they were obsessed with you?

Um...never. Personal experience - Girls I asked out, few said yes, few said no. Those who said no were perfectly polite about it and I didn't bother them again even once. Those that said yes, we went on dates etc.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-04-27T14:47:58+00:00

Rape is not about relationships, dating or sex. Rape is about control.

bison5595 · 2022-04-27T14:55:41+00:00

You dawg, I understand what you're trying to say, but this isn't worded correctly at all. I think you mean, women perpetuate hook up culture by dealing with bad boys that can lead to rape culture. I assuming that was your point.

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2022-04-27T14:45:35+00:00

No means no, but also sometimes it means you need to try harder, as I have been told many times by women. I never played that game, but considering the number of such interactions it is no surprise that some people will. Don't know what the solution is. It could be that women try and be a little more active themselves, but this probably won't happen.

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DivineWakaloon · 2022-04-27T16:20:43+00:00

I think your theory is based on men women don't know trying to being "sexually aggressive" with complete strangers they don't know.

You can't just pick up a chick at bar or Tinder, and expect sexual aggression and ignoring "no" to work. It's not how women who like sexual aggression work.

I've been highly, highly sexually aggressive with women. And in every case it's someone I already know who is into it, and this is known because we know each other.

She may "play" hard to get as part of the play, even publicly, but that's just part of the flirtation, at no point was this some stranger I just say 20' away that looked cute. Making assumptions of what you can do with a stranger vs. someone you're with is a bad move.

Just like the memes of the hot guy telling Janet she looks sexy in her dress, vs. Jane who immediately calls HR when the fat nerd does it, if you've already been preselected because she thinks you're hot, you can do things that some ugly stranger can't. Say it's not fair all you want, but women will do things with guys they're attracted to and not with guys they aren't attracted to. But it doesn't work with strangers. No matter how "hot" a guy is, is faux pas is limited to spilling a drink or accidentally touching her shoulder or whatever when he's a stranger. He's not going to get away with grabbing her neck, slamming her into the bar, and having his way with her.

So be selected for or not. If women have selected for you, then there's all manner of nonsense she'll "like", or put up with, or feel comfortable doing, but this is someone "you're with", exclusive or not.

But don't dare try it with strangers. The ability to read what a girl likes on a cold approach is basically impossible, so even if you want to be that "dark mysterious sexual stranger", you've got really bad statistics on your hand, and a probable court date on another.

You don't want a girl who one day tells you, "You only asked me out 22 times, why did you stop trying?"

That girl is a) lying, and b) projecting her issues onto you. Think of it as she's post wall and poor, and you're successful and rich and now lost 100 lbs. and in great shape. Is she going to admit she screwed up and lost you? No, she projects her mistakes onto you. "You didn't try hard enough rich hot guy, you weren't rich and hot enough back then."

That'll make you feel better.

Ignore anything women say about the past, it's all fictions they dreamed up. A woman that says "no", or some version of it, was never interested, much less in aggression.

Side note: The people here making noises about "don't blame the victim" only say that about women. They will endlessly blame victimized men all day long if they have any relationship problems remember, so ignore their comments. Women are perfect and conveniently always victims. And they're man haters that blame men for everything, never seeing them as the victim. So they blame them for everything.

AquaChip · 2022-04-27T16:56:49+00:00

Do you think only aggressive men rape? Meek men have raped people too.

ChineseVirus_69 · 2022-04-27T15:53:34+00:00

Rape culture doesn't e x i s t .

geometersbane · 2022-04-27T14:53:41+00:00

Given how many girls are into CNC, it's not a surprise.

nothatyoucare · 2022-04-27T15:20:30+00:00

I was reading a post about a woman who had aggressive dogs so she could walk alone at night. I was curious about what other people would say on reddit about walking at night, cuz I don't do it. Did a search for "walk at night". Yeah... don't. Don't do that search. Although it is topical to this topic of conversation.

WilliamSaintAndre · 2022-04-27T16:35:17+00:00

A lot of people here are making the obvious distinction between what is obviously meant/not meant by women when they say they're into that behavior. I don't think anyone here is confused about consent, but I think that's obviously dancing around results like those in this study which imply women definitely experience contradictory thoughts/feelings in this regard. Obviously fantasies are just fantasies, but the way which men are expected to navigate this is very difficult and it's pretty frequent that men make posts on r/advice or r/datingadvice where they're being pushed into rape/forced sex play with their partner and are uncomfortable actually doing that or how to say no to their partner.

Killz4Thrillz954 · 2022-04-27T16:42:54+00:00

I was dating this woman who told me “if I say no, I want you to ignore it and take what you want”. Admittedly I did that a few times and it was exciting but I started to think about how badly this could go wrong. Long story short she was too intense for me so we stopped talking. Also she slapped me across the face the last time we hung out lol

2022-04-27T16:50:29+00:00

I 100% disagree with OP’s statement. I don’t believe we live in a rape culture.

hassaf · 2022-04-27T16:54:38+00:00

You’re really out here all uneducated about consent vs no consent. Read some scholarly articles once in a while and close reddit.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2022-04-27T17:45:12+00:00

Bill Burr explained this phenomenon:

No means no

Friedidli · 2022-04-27T17:46:25+00:00

Wow ... Thats a hot take.

But i dont think it is without merit.

When people initially brought up the concept of rape culture, western trad con and annti feminist voices kept shooting it down saying that it was blatantly untrue and that no one is telling kids that it's ok to rape.

Feminist clarified that it is the society's permissiveness of problematic behaviour as an indicator of love. Ie men going after the women, the social veiw of women's passive role in relationships, the evident sucess of less than stellar men.

By that metric , OPs argument does have merit.

SlimLovin · 2022-04-27T17:47:55+00:00

Assertive =/= Aggressive.

The only people responsible for rape culture are rapists.

BecretAlbatross · 2022-04-27T17:58:37+00:00

AWALT. Never met a girl who didn't like being choked. I disagree that they're perpetuating rape culture, but I think people need to be honest about what is and isn't rape culture.

gate18 · 2022-04-27T17:58:38+00:00

In other words women want to be raped.

Amazing

"I just wish he tried a little harder"

Hence the rapists aren't bad people they are just trying to satisfy.

"I'm not gonna give it up that easily."

Shredddz · 2022-04-27T18:00:46+00:00

the raw truth nobody wants to speak out load is that women actually like to be raped by the men they find attractive.

Women frequently have rape fantasies, and actively demand actions that simulate rape, like choking, pulling hair, pushing her around, being degraded.

ricar426 · 2022-04-27T18:12:18+00:00

While i think you've phrased that in a really shitty way and prone to a victim blaming interpretation, I do think that the culture of wanting men to pursue leads to harassment, not raping proper - you need to be really evil to do that. Being more precise, the mixed messaging to men and women that "if he really wants it me, he's got to chase" creates conditions to harassment because it invites chasing after a negative, because "well, it might be a maybe". So to fight that, the message needs to be clear. "Insisting after a no is harassment" and "Be firm when saying no, don't leave doubt" are the thinking that needs to be drilled into youngsters. That leads to a respectable environment between the sexes.

EasternToe3824 · 2022-04-27T18:30:56+00:00

Without a criminological argument on the circumstances of sexual crimes there is no point to be made here.

briiiana1122 · 2022-04-27T18:37:57+00:00

Wow. How are there not more men here pushing back on this? The vast majority of men, even persistent or aggressive men, are not rapists and do not react to rejection with aggression that turns into rape. Nor is this at all what women are “into.” That’s psychotic behaviour, not a reward for being persistent.

GVM3SnakeBeater · 2022-04-27T16:34:14+00:00

OP we have been through this like a million times now.

It is "rape culture" mostly if the men are meek and ugly. It is "persistence" if they are dominating and lookers.

95% of advice on this and other boards is "just don't be nerd uggo." It is that simple.

YMaedchen · 2022-04-27T16:20:25+00:00

I actually agree with this one. If women make the argument that things like making sexist jokes perpetuate rape culture, rewarding agressive men is too. Or men who are into BDSM. (If he is the sadist, not the masochist)

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-04-27T15:32:58+00:00

Women are extremely wishy washy with consent. What do you do when a women tells you yes, then while your dicks inside says stop. Then when you stop wants to start again. Like wtf am I suppose to think.

Before you say just walk away. Almost every girl does this.

gladusgates · 2022-04-27T16:36:06+00:00

Not making excuses for any rapist. But on the topic of “consent”? Women have no actual concept or grasp on that themselves

KamuiObito · 2022-04-27T17:10:43+00:00

I agree to an extent women generally like shitty men the most it’s subconscious. Idk wat no women says (cuz who would admit to be bad a picking patners? Its way easier to just blame the whole gender) the being raped part was out of nowhere

Title	Many women are perpetuating rape "culture" by being into aggressive men
Author	xexotiqz123
Upvotes	45
Comments	281
Date	April 27, 2022 2:41 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ud567n/many_women_are_perpetuating_rape_culture_by_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/many-women-are-perpetuating-rape-culture-by-being.1113199 https://theredarchive.com/post/1113199

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