Let me preface this by saying that Brady was wrong in leaking that text message and her motives are certainly questionable, especially since Jonah is having a baby.

That being said, these messages do display a clear lack of knowledge between the two things - now, it is important to note that Brady is a surfer, she has surfed competitively and has done so for a living - She also posted the kind of photos she does long before they were dating as well, which is kinda important to note - things like “surfing with men”, “post pictures of yourself in a baiting suit”, “model” are not boundaries, they are controlling as she’s done these things long before they dated, and again, she surfs professionally. Plus, not to mention, surfing is not only her passion, but at that moment was her profession - ie. surf ting with men, bikini pics and modeling were all always gonna be inevitable and the fact that he felt the need to address it after talking to her especially is what makes it controlling. Plus, the “don’t be friends with women from your past” is also quite controlling as at this point he’s literally trying to tell her who to interact with from her own social circle - imagine a girl telling you not to hang out with your bros, same idea.

Now, the other 2 (ie. boundary-less friendships with men, sexy pics) could have been considered legit boundaries IF not for the fact that we already know that Jonah has already misused the term - what does boundary-less mean to him, for example, is now brought to question as we’ve established that’s he’s misusing the term. What do “sexual pictures” mean here as well, as he also said no swimsuit pics and no modeling - so the 2 that could have been real boundaries are now brought to question because of the context provided.

That being said, I do have to add this - sometimes when people do behave controllingly, they don’t know it. More often than not its a subtle, learned behavior that people don’t realize so I don want to bash Hill for it, as he did seem like he was also trying to end it respectfully if his conditions weren’t met - so credit where its due here as well and that kinda hints at me that he, like many others, simply don’t know the difference between the two. I should also say that I doubt that he’s an abuser, as he likely, again, does not seem to know the difference between the two and even made it a point to end the interaction respectfully.