Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being single

EulenWatcher · 2024-01-07T18:33:14+00:00

It also decreases your chances to be used as a placeholder and waste your time on a person who isn't really into you which is a great thing for everyone. I see no value in dating or marrying a man who is "meh" about me or our relationships.

thelajestic · 2024-01-07T17:11:03+00:00

Yes.

I have no interest in being with someone who is only with me because he doesn't want to be alone. What a shitty, shitty basis for a relationship.

We absolutely should be putting in effort throughout the relationship and maintaining that love and connection, to ensure both parties are happy and fulfilled and actively choosing to be with one another.

Why would anyone want anything different?

KikiYuyu · 2024-01-07T18:39:35+00:00

Maybe this will shock you, but I sometimes think of other people's needs besides my own. Men learning how to be at peace while single is good for them, that's why I would advise them to do it.

Life isn't all about me.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-01-07T17:57:32+00:00

Been with people who really wanted to be with me, been with people who were with me just because they didn't want to be alone. Been with people I really wanted to be with, been with people just because I didn't want to be alone. Relationships where one person is in it just to not be lonely are not happy, fulfilling relationships, you end up being lonelier than you were single. Rejection sucks, sure, but being someone's ''this will do'' sucks way more.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-01-07T17:55:04+00:00

The consequences as in they're not trying to date people if they don't want? I fail to see the downside. I'm not trying to attain anyone who doesn't want to date me or make them stay if they don't want to, better to find that out earlier than later.

Mentathiel · 2024-01-07T20:52:21+00:00

I didn't respond to that hypothetical, but I do like that option too. I do realize it makes it harder to get men, but that's okay, great even. I want enthusiastic consent from people who are with me, I don't want them to be with me out of desperation, lack of options, chronic loneliness, or whatever else. I want us both to have good complete lives as single people, have many options, feel entirely comfortable being single, and still choose to date each other. I don't want anyone feeling stuck with me or like they have to settle for me.

apresonly · 2024-01-07T17:56:13+00:00

i mean thats what i have done and my health/quality of life is better than ever. 🤷‍♀️

so yeah, men can do it too.

GlitterAndFireballs · 2024-01-07T17:51:43+00:00

That’s totally fine by me. I don’t want a man who doesn’t want me.

2024-01-08T06:55:34+00:00

Yessss. Finally being with men who actually like you instead of men who pretend to like because they don't want to be alone. That's the best case scenario.

Flightlessbirbz · 2024-01-07T21:51:42+00:00

unjustifiably

What counts as an “unjustifiable” reason to leave to you? Who decides this? Isn’t simply not wanting to be with someone a justifiable reason not to be?

If a man doesn’t want to be with me I don’t want him to be. I’d rather be single than have someone be unhappy with me, and likely not treat me well as a result. This also isn’t just about what women want, men have to take responsibility for their own happiness as well. I don’t take kindly to men trying to guilt women into being with men they don’t want because “male loneliness,” and I have no desire to do that to men. Women aren’t owed relationships either.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2024-01-07T17:59:46+00:00

Yes. My husband already has the option to leave me and be stoicly alone, as do I (with him) but we choose to be together because we like each other, enjoy being partners, and want to keep doing so.

If this situation were to change and he truly wanted to be alone, I wouldn't want to keep him here out of some sense of obligation/ need. That sounds awful.

It's called having secure attachment. Therapy is really cool.

Demasii · 2024-01-07T17:34:57+00:00

You do realize that this increases the amount of effort you need to attain the man that you want and it increases the chance of the man you currently have to leave justifiably or unjustifiably.

Reality is most women are passive when it comes to dating. Men ask them out and they choose who to date among the choices.

Birth and marriage rates will definitely fall.

waffleznstuff30 · 2024-01-07T17:58:28+00:00

They won't pursue us out of desperation and not wanting to be alone. And men who do pursue us are doing so out of a genuine place of interest.

That alone is a shitty premise to start any relationship. Oh I'm so lonely you will do I'm so lonely anyone will do I just need to find a gf I'm so lonely. It's fickle and flimsy it's chasing a feeling a remedy for a feeling and not actually the person. It's enduring a relationship well past it's expiration date because the fear of being alone wasting everyone's time in the process. It's a place of scarcity and lack.

I'd rather be with someone who makes a conscious decision that they like me for my entirety. They like me as a person and see me as someone worthy to date. That though they are happy being single they feel happier with me as an addition. That is a better quality relationship and a better quality partner. That is someone who sees the value of me as a whole. Not someone who needs me because they feel a certain way and need a void to fill.

And yes that kind of connection does take effort. And putting mutual effort in it with someone is totally fine.

Safinated · 2024-01-07T17:21:39+00:00

I like people that want me

The ones who don’t make it known sooner or later by lack of effort or cheating

So nothing of importance will be lost

Planthoe30 · 2024-01-08T06:45:33+00:00

Personally I think women should be encouraged to put more effort into dating. My husband and I had a long distance relationship at the start because we met on a video game and without me doing some travelling I don’t think it would have worked, also my husband mentioned I was the only woman he ever met who put in any effort into dating and I heard this from other men I dated as well. I typically like men to lead so I feel my effort was minimal but most men were grateful in my experience (they communicated this to me). I do think that if you want something good you have to be willing to put in some work for it. If I never made the first move on my husband I’m not sure I’d have a great marriage. If you don’t like your options sometimes you have to take charge and change your circumstances yourself.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2024-01-07T17:21:22+00:00

You linked the wrong comment, but it still stands. Yes x100 on No. 4 because the desperation of men is largely responsible for the inbalance on dating apps, supply and demand across the whole dating field, and the ability for women to be picky. Plus if you didn’t have so many men who hated being single like they were on the brink of death, you could say goodbye the the manosphere, incel ideology, and many instances of sexual assault.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-01-07T17:15:15+00:00

I think you might have linked the wrong comment. However it’s fine if men want to gtow and stay stoic and single. Sure having a decent man in life is nice but it’s not the end all be all for most women. Most women can take a good relationship or stay single without an issue. Men greatly overestimate women’s level of interest in them and in relationships. That’s why women prefer no relationship to a bad relationship. Also the options you listed were primary ones to help men, why not include options to help women and make them more interested in dating?

penndelnj · 2024-01-07T17:50:13+00:00

I just want them to stop whinging. I find the whinging to be so incredibly grating.

tawny-she-wolf · 2024-01-08T16:58:38+00:00

Given the behavior of incels and mgtow who somehow are still pathologically obsessed with women, I'm sure there's not risk of men in general suddenly deciding they're not interested in dating.

As to "keeping" a man - 1) no one should be taken for granted anyway and 2) I'm sure the risk of him leaving to be single is no higher than the risk of him suddenly deciding he wants to bang the 20yo barista after she gave him her number.

It's the same as "you're gonna get replaced by an AI girlfriend" - not really worried about it.

HotOutcome9161 · 2024-01-09T03:55:59+00:00

I think we should stop seeing being in a relationship as the default. Everyone should be happy by themselves. Having a partner is nice but it shouldn‘t be your only source of happyness.

And like others have said, I‘d rather date a man that wants me for me and not becauce he just can‘t stand to be single.

Moon-on-my-mind · 2024-01-08T06:48:39+00:00

Will that make us safer outside? Will it stop men from creeping and raping? If these are amongst the possible consequences, I'm totally ok with it.

AngeCruelle · 2024-01-08T00:04:39+00:00

Yep 100% sure. It helps that I am Catholic and it is stressed for us from a young age that vocations that aren't marriage and parenthood exist.

RorschachRosettes · 2024-01-08T17:46:21+00:00

I honestly think more women would feel relieved if a lot more men grew comfortable with being single because much of the crazy shit being spewed by incels and redpillers is clearly the result of them being angry at not being desired by women.

You do realize that this increases the amount of effort you need to attain the man that you want and it increases the chance of the man you currently have to leave justifiably or unjustifiably.

You have no idea what you're talking about or just how much attention/pursuit the average woman gets.

I know you think you're delivering a threat of some kind, but if no one wants you now, they're not going to miss you being off the market. You think its a threat because you happen to center women, but women are not centering you in the same way.

rawne- · 2024-01-10T01:55:45+00:00

Seems win/win honestly. The only reason women are so picky in the first place is because being single is preferable than not getting someone we want. If I lose out on a good man because another woman was better, then well-played, ma’am. Single > mediocrity.

Pristine-Can3719 · 2024-01-08T04:15:22+00:00

> Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being single

Well yeah.Isn't that normal?You all acting like it doesn't happen.

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Title	Are you sure you're aware of the consequences of men stoicly accepting being single
Author	EveningEveryman
Upvotes	40
Comments	229
Date	January 7, 2024 5:06 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/190wree/are_you_sure_youre_aware_of_the_consequences_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-you-sure-youre-aware-of-the-consequences-of.1242463 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242463

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