Is the fate of being settled for, unavoidable?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-03-19T20:48:29+00:00

OPs should be discussion topics, not requests for advice about personal experiences.

John_Oakman · 2024-03-19T13:31:54+00:00

Yes. It is the nature of life that it isn't perfect. Every religion/faith/whatever has pointed that out since the dawn of time.

The important thing is how to face this reality, with either dignity & grace or cope & seethe.

dabbydab · 2024-03-19T15:09:07+00:00

Couple things:

I think that far too much is made on this sub of "settling" and I don't think it reflects the reality of relationships. People tend to gravitate toward familiarity and I don't think it feels like settling if you end up with someone who isn't a ripped millionaire. Personally, when I was in the dating pool, I was just going for people like me; attractive but not hot, cares about the gym and eating healthy but not super strict about either, good job but not rich, +/- 5 years of my age, funny with some shared interests, cares about their presentation but not high maintenance. Sometimes there'd be no spark and sometimes I'd develop a crush or even fall in love. It's not really predictable or quantifiable but I never sat around thinking "I wish he was a chiseled Adonis but I guess I'll settle"
Women get horny and enjoy sex but I don't think we experience it as a hunger the way that men do. Occasionally it is spontaneous, but for the most part it's more of a slow build that's driven by something more cerebral. It's why men tend to look at porn whereas women read bodice-ripper novels. It's not like looking at a hot girl and getting a boner. I think maybe you're expecting women to experience arousal the way that you do and assuming it simply isn't there otherwise.
I do think women are generally not great about giving compliments and making men feel desired

MongoBobalossus · 2024-03-19T13:44:14+00:00

You gotta work with what you got. You being less attractive just means leaning into your strengths to work around being unattractive, assuming you’re as ugly as you say you are.

If you aren’t, it sounds like you’re overthinking things too much.

SignifyingNothing5 · 2024-03-19T14:24:29+00:00

I can buy the notion that the typical man is not the most arousing specimen to the typical woman. But do you really think most women are the pinnacle of beauty to most men?

Look around. Consciously or not people who are not that attractive typically look for other qualities they like in a person, and hope for a physical trait or two that appeals to them. In that way they get with or try to get with the best person for them.

throwaway316stunner · 2024-03-19T17:21:51+00:00

I mean I’ll take being “settled for.” Better than nothing, which is where I’m at.

cheemspurpletreats · 2024-03-19T13:28:46+00:00

I have a feeling this post is going to get banned for violating some rule but yes, everyone want the best men in society but there are only so many to go around.

optimuscrymez · 2024-03-19T16:28:59+00:00

If you are a man and you are not more physically attractive than the woman and you are in a relationship the odds she feels like she settled on some level for you are HIGH

Hence why being the bf in 2024 is a sucker's game

Poly_frolicher · 2024-03-19T16:10:18+00:00

I don’t know if this will help you, OP, but I have two stories to tell of my real-life that puts all of this “settling” BS to bed in my opinion (because I think the majority of women’s brains operate this way.)

The story of the two Johns: My first day in the ER I met two nurses named John. One was gorgeous. The other was middle-aged, severely balding, with an unattractive mustache. I worked with both men intermittently that week, and by Friday, I disliked the first and no longer found him attractive, and I really liked the second and found him attractive. Sure, if I had been looking at their dating profiles I would have picked the first, but i never would have dated him a second time. That is not settling. That is finding the better person. (I never dated either. This is just for illustration.)

The story of my situationship: I met Wil at a restaurant after chatting on a dating app and by text a few days. I had one old picture of him that was not flattering, so I didn’t have especially high hopes. Upon meeting, it confirmed that he was not really my type physically, not especially attractive to me. Anyway, that meeting went okay and we had another date that changed my opinion completely. By the end of that date I realized I had met someone who was a generous lover, and who I hoped to be with a very long time. After 3 years, I have come to find him extremely handsome, sexy, and still the best lover I’ve ever had. On the other hand, I would never live with him due to personality incompatibility.

So clearly, if you want to look good in most women’s eyes, you need to stand out in some way. John stood out as intelligent and kind, and funny. Wil stands out as an amazing lover. In both cases they went from being below average on the looks scale to being well-above, just through outstanding traits.

I don’t think this is “settling” at all. People are a complete package, and how a man looks is heavily influenced by the rest of what he offers. If you want love and marriage, be the whole package. If you want a consistent, enthusiastic lover, be amazing in bed. How you look to them will flow from that.

brentifil · 2024-03-19T14:16:50+00:00

It's a two-way street, man. You want a 10. I know you do. We all do. Any woman less than that is settling. If you can settle and be content, why can't she? You may not be her first choice. But you are her choice. That's going to have to be enough

relish5k · 2024-03-19T14:46:18+00:00

You might have to do some initial convincing, but once a woman is attracted to you, she's generally into you genuinely.

My ex was not someone I was initially attracted to but once he won me over I couldn't get enough of him. He became very attractive to me. He couldn't get rid of me!

You should hear how Padma Lakshmi talks about Salman Rushdie in her memoir. He pursued her and once he won her over she was totally hooked.

So yeah, you will need to put more work in the beginning due to DNA. And that is based on genetics and genetics aren't fair. But I wouldn't mistake that for a concern that women will always be settling for you.

Environmental_Day558 · 2024-03-19T14:01:46+00:00

I'm very scared that I'm going to fall in love and get married just to learn that my future wife settled for a guy that she didn't think was attractive, but had other qualities.

Unfortunately this is the reality for a lot of men. Fortunately these types of relationships can still work out if she's a mature person. An LTR is not going to survive on looks alone, as they eventually fade over time. Looks alone are primarily used to get you through the door, but you need other qualities to keep a person.

East_Writer_2892 · 2024-03-19T14:31:26+00:00

Unless you're truly ugly which is a very small percentage of men and you're not batting comically out your league where the woman's usual is models you won't be "Settled" for. By the sound of it you probably aren't very good at creating arousal. Attraction and arousal aren't the same thing. If the girls are dating they're at least somewhat attracted to you. Women don't really bother dating dudes they seriously find unattractive it's not worth their time unless they're gold digger type who want a free meal.

Creating Arousal is as much a verbal game as a physical game. Sometimes you can arouse a girl off looks alone (very few guys) but the way you talk and interact with her on a date or when you're trying to ask her out can also build it. Arousal is about emotions at the end of day. We as men have easy monkey brains a lot of the time we can take one look at a girl and feel arousal. Women are a little different you can create arousal verbally with them (assuming you aren't a goblin like I said).

TRTGymBro · 2024-03-19T16:50:47+00:00

It's actually a problem much deeper than "I'm not a pretty boy". The problem is that you don't believe you are lovable as you are. Which forces you try and overcompensate for your perceived deficiencies by being extra nice, extra attentive, extra clean and perfect, with the perfect job, perfect little apartment with a skyline view, etc.

Here is the problem with this. By being this guy who is always overcompensating and performing for women, you are subconsciously signalking to them that you are a low status male. High status men don't have to do any of that.

So how do you get around all of this? You need to get over the fear of letting the nice guy overcompensating persona go. It will be scary because it has been working for you somewhat. But if you work on adopting a "take me or leave me" type attitude towards women you meet, you will be more successful and happier.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-03-19T13:31:20+00:00

You're not silly, but you're not 100% right either.

I'm not gonna sugar coat it. If you're truly ugly, you're fucked. But, if you're hot and an asshole, you won't keep a good woman for long. No one in their sane mind can't stand the dismissiveness and abuse, no matter how hot the other person is.

The fate of being settled for is not unavoidable, but finding someone that feels they won the lottery by having found you, is not easy. I have been on both sides. I know what it feels to be settled for.

If the women on your location aren't finding you attractive and you have done everything you could, get that passport.

FreitasAlan · 2024-03-19T13:50:41+00:00

When you say you’re self improving, do you mean on your looks?

throwaway164_3 · 2024-03-19T14:38:35+00:00

The best thing to do is be content with what you have and make the most of everyday

And remember, it could always be worse!

RubyDiscus · 2024-03-19T14:59:40+00:00

I used to feel shit about myself and have low self esteem because my mother constantly was super self-conscious and self-critical and it rubbed off onto me.

The only way to really get over it is to fight off the feelings of self doubt you have and change it to thinking you are great.

szclimber · 2024-03-19T13:56:53+00:00

Most men are settled for and most marriages are unhappy. It's not unavoidable though. I hope you get lucky and find a good match for yourself.

cardboard_monkey · 2024-03-19T14:18:51+00:00

Honestly, between media standards and dating app culture, even VERY conventionally attractive dudes struggle with not feeling desirable. I agree with other commenters that suggest staying to yourself as an option. I’ve made the mistake of staying in “utilitarian” relationships where the woman basically sees you as a tool/resource more than an object of attraction, and I can assure you that your own company is better. You will end up emotionally exhausted from trying to “win” the attraction that was never there to begin with.

ughtheinternet · 2024-03-19T15:35:33+00:00

Listen dude, love is just two average idiots who both for some reason think they somehow landed a 10.

My husband for some reason thinks I’m a 10/10 and I’m very clearly not. And I’m convinced he’s a 12/10, although he’s maybe more realistically a 9.5 or so.

Perfect-Resist5478 · 2024-03-19T14:34:28+00:00

I think the issue is you’re conflating “women having spontaneous desire for you” with “someone loving you”

Lots of women don’t experience overwhelming spontaneous desire. That’s just the reality of the situation. That doesn’t mean someone can’t want you. That doesn’t mean someone can’t love you. That doesn’t mean someone can’t find you sexually appealing. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a successful relationship with a good sex life.

Sparkling_gourami · 2024-03-19T14:14:47+00:00

I think a mental reframe might be good here. Truth is, nobody is going to get a 100% perfect match. Some might get lucky and get 95% but most of us will be less than that. That percentage of the person who isn’t perfect for you isn’t a bad thing though. It brings variety and perspective to the relationship. The flaws we carry are unique and part of what makes us special. It also gives us room to grow in the relationship, which helps build a bond. No adversity or disagreement sounds boring.

A 9/10 woman could actually learn a lot from a 5/10 man. Maybe the 5/10 man would teach her to see the value of a person besides looks. Maybe the 5/10 man is selfless, and that helps the woman grow. Even if she knows she’s objectively more attractive, is she settling if she’s growing as a person in the relationship?

My “perfect” girlfriend would be on time for everything, but I have a habit of dating women who always run late. Am I settling? Or am I just accepting their lateness because they have other good qualities?

Now, if you’re in a relationship with someone who’s really immature, they’ll think of you lacking that last 10% of “perfect” compatibility as “settling”. And if someone had zero attraction to you, and used you purely for non-romantic reasons, that would be pretty awful. But I think the chances of that happening are pretty slim. And if you feel a woman is doing that to you, trust yourself that you’ll be able to pick up on it and leave if you need to.

throwaway164_3 · 2024-03-19T14:42:58+00:00

I never felt truly desired.

Also, I hope someday you find a woman who truly sexually lusts after you, intensely physically desires you and wants to be dickmatized by you.

I think all men should experience the raw, unrestrained sexual lust of a woman at least once in their lives. It’s life changing and mind blowing.

Best of luck and keep grinding.

Nellylocheadbean · 2024-03-19T16:03:16+00:00

Ppl that are not that attractive or arousing will always have to put in extra effort. It’s always been this way.

There’s only a small percentage of men who can arouse women by just existing. Most men have to work for it. That’s just what it is. You have to be more reasonable.

You probably want an attractive woman who is at least cute looking, who most likely has options to be ok with a man who’s ok looking and you want her to salivate all over you.

You either need to aim lower or accept that you’ll always be putting in effort and the desire won’t be as intense like you want it to be.

uterine_blackmail · 2024-03-19T17:04:07+00:00

I think you are very smart and insightful and that is an extremely rare quality. I mean, your friends will tell you that you are smart and kind and all of that jazz, of course they will, but I can tell you are smart by what you have written.

Very few women and men have the level of self-awareness that you have. I am a woman and I have a few male friends and when they get rejected by women, they don't fully realize they are being rejected. I have to be that bad person to tell them, "Look, don't waste your time. She is rejecting you." They don't get it. They will engage in mental gymnastics and resort to implausible explanations and self-deception to avoid the brutal truth: these women are not attracted to them. I was impressed when you said that you noticed the look of disappointment in their eyes. Very few people have this level of awareness.

With that premise out of the way, you are right: being settled for is the unfortunate reality of MOST people, men and women alike. I will be honest with you. I have been viscerally attracted to bad guys who had no jobs and no homes and who were complete mess. Attraction is something inherently instinctual and irrational and, contrary to what people say, most of our attraction is visual. We are primates, after all, and one of the biggest differences between primates and other mammals is that we rely more on our sense of sight than on our sense of smell. That means that the biggest part of the attraction is visual.

It's not even a matter of good men or good women. This is what people don't realize. A lot of women lament that there are no good guys out there. Guess what, they are not attracted to you, so that doesn't make them bad guys. They might marry you because they don't want to feel lonely, but they will cheat on you.

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Beanor · 2024-03-19T14:05:58+00:00

ok: I seee the same pattern as myself....make self improvement about you, not your partner. become happy with the person you are so you dont need the feedback of the other person to know you are good. Accept that the scale women use is not linear, and quite complex: but is largely driven by feelings, which you dont want to get in the habit of manipulating.

when you are being genuine and confident, the magnatism will be enough that you can wait for the right woman to make you feel like extending yourself, and you can guage how they extend themselves back. I want to believe a perfect relationship exists where both feel like they scored, at least at first. I'm naturally humble, so I depend on the emotional maturity of the person I want to find...but that quality is becoming more scarce, so I lose hope sometimes...but I think I have the right angle starting from a internal locus of control when it comes to self-image.

LoopyPro · 2024-03-19T14:13:35+00:00

Just date and have your fun. Move on if it's clear that you're only BB to her instead of AF. Be prepared that someone who wants you for you might not ever cross your path at all. It's better to be alone than in bad company.

Don't settle down or get married to a person who's settling for you. If you're only as good as the things you can provide, she's not the one. If she's desperate to be more than a perpetual girlfriend, she has to prove herself to you in the long run.

Stop_Maximum · 2024-03-19T14:37:45+00:00

I think it’s normal especially if you struggle with self image and low self esteem. I’ve had the same and still do, I would literally say to myself that I should settle with anyone if I was to date but it’s not a good mindset. But that’s life, there are certain things in life we can’t control but in my opinion always date better people, even if you don’t feel like you’re the best physically, that doesn’t mean you should settle for what you don’t like. Improvement will always be needed, unless you look good or kept even with little to no maintenance. I would say it’s best to not overdo it tho, because when it becomes obsessive it’s not always good.

Electrical-Task-6820 · 2024-03-19T14:58:41+00:00

So it sounds like bc you think you’re not attractive, you think women are settling for you? And the only way for you to feel as if a woman wasn’t settling for you is if she found you very very attractive?

I personally think this is part of your self esteem issues and part of men having a skewed understanding of how women prioritize looks. Even if you’re not model quality in the looks department a woman isn’t necessarily “settling.” But even if she is settling isn’t a problem per se bc no one is perfect.

If you want to find a woman who thinks you’re very physically attractive she’s likely to be much less attractive than you are (eg a 2/10 if you’re a 5/10). So then you wouldn’t be settled for but you would be settling yourself.

iB_Rezzed_Out · 2024-03-19T15:13:15+00:00

You’re being too hard on yourself, people will always find flaws in others but they will see the good too, it isn’t settling to understand that perfection ain’t possible. Simply don’t put up with someone who isn’t showing mutual interest and if you put yourself out there you will find those actually curious about you.

Goodgoy6969 · 2024-03-19T15:28:08+00:00

If you don't mind me asking, what do you look like? Do you have stats IE; weight, height, hair etc

A lot of guys undersell themselves on looks and you may not be as unattractive as you think you are

boom-wham-slam · 2024-03-19T15:58:25+00:00

You're worried too much about success and looks. If you get the girl you want why give a fuck? You cannot be separated from your success or your looks. You are you. But this is also why it makes more sense to get with virgins because then they didn't settle for you they chose you first.... too bad that's not how things work... so essentially all men are settled for because the girl didn't choose them first but 3rd or 30th ya know?

conspicuoussgtsnuffy · 2024-03-19T16:04:44+00:00

You have a better chance in the next 5 years of being desired than you will for the rest of your life. Hit the gym and improve your social circles to improve your verbal game.

BlueParsec · 2024-03-19T16:05:44+00:00

Acceptance bro, last stage.

ktdotnova · 2024-03-19T16:29:08+00:00

everyone settles but in the dating stage, you shouldn't even as if you're being settled for. meaning, you don't feel like a backup. the persons initates, confirms plans quickly, texts back quickly

DarmakJalad · 2024-03-19T17:13:44+00:00

I understand where you are coming from. I’ve basically always had to put in more work in life in order to attain what came more easily to others (and in some areas, less) Dating is tricky. Everyone compromises, but if you feel that the people you are dating are doing so excessively, or in a way you aren’t comfortable with , you’re options are basically to continue working on yourself, date people who are less attractive, or go solo. For what it’s worth, people are fine not ending up with the hottest/most charming/richest/whatever person that they could possibly get with.. the goal is making sure you satisfy their basic threshold, and that you love and like one another. I don’t believe that I’m the hottest woman my partner could possibly get… but I’m enough, and he loves me, so I’m happy.

Old_Luck285 · 2024-03-19T18:00:43+00:00

I think this is a very male view on female desire und thus nut fully accurate.

You are right, that there's a very, very small number of men who are so attractive that my mind automatically thinks about having sex with them. But: this is only a fantasy. Once I've interacted with them and they're not also exactly my type personality-wise, my interest wanes quickly.

And I think that even if you're this "Giga chad" looks-wise (but little else), many women still would lose attraction to you over time in a LTR as no man is as hot as fantasy/projection guy from the early relationship days when NRE tinted our outlook.

I think that in a LTR, attraction really is a package-deal for many women. It's a mix of physical attractiveness, the emotional connection, trust, shared experiences etc. And even if you're super hot, the "I want to jump your bones" desire likely will never return.

Soul_vaccine · 2024-03-19T18:25:08+00:00

A good deal is where both sides make concessions and end up in a net positive situation.

A deal where one person makes no concessions and receives all the goodies is a swindle job.

Grand-Inspection2303 · 2024-03-19T18:59:21+00:00

It depends on what's meant by the term "being settled for." If it a relationship where's there's no romantic or sexual excitement about each other, then no that's not usually unavoidable. If it means recognizing that they're not going to get going get a man that's the most attractive in the world + the best personality + the best career + sharing all their interests, and that they're going to have to accept imperfections and tradeoffs, then yes being settled for (and settling yourself) is unavoidable. It's part of being a rational grown up about relationships. TRP/incel constantly decry women for having unrealistic standards, but then out of the other side of side if their mouths declare that a woman lowering her standards to be with a guy is one of the worst possible things that could happen to a guy. It's madness that guarantees the men aren't going to be happy no matter what.

What you're describing is a combination of anxiety and envy. These are common human emotions and thoughts, but they're not productive; that some people start with a better hand is just part of life. Other people were dealt with a far worse hand than you. How easy things are for other people isn't relevant to your life because you can only make the best of the hand life dealt. You seem to recognize this but you have these intrusive thoughts. You cannot completelyvcontrol whether these thoughts pop up, but you can practice mindfulness by recognizing them for what they are and dismissing them. Also if these thoughts become too prevalent, then it's probably not healthy to hang around red-pill / incel corners of the internet.

EmbarrassedClient283 · 2024-03-19T19:32:59+00:00

I do believe a lot of women will settle. I find nothing wrong with settling but the problem is that women settle on you in their 30's.

What I mean is that there is no problem driving an old pickup truck for the rest of your life, but it will be a problem if I let you drive a Bently in your 20's and then give you a choice between the old pickup or nothing, in both cases it could be said that you are settling because a pickup truck is not the car you would want, but try to imagine how you feel about the truck in the first scenario vs the second one, you might even grow to resent the truck in the second scenario.

ParticularCamera2297 · 2024-03-19T19:35:00+00:00

You described my experience and state of mind to a T. I congratulate you for finally bringing this whole dating effort to an end. You seem to have reached a maturity about it all and your conclusion is spot on. It took me 10 years to get to the same conclusion, but with a lot of shame, regrets and humiliation along the way.

ArtifactFan65 · 2024-03-19T14:45:31+00:00

Don't get over attached and be ready to move on if a woman isn't all over you sexually

konfusedfish · 2024-03-19T15:26:51+00:00

I’ll say this. The majority of men and women aren’t settling by getting with someone average. Average shouldn’t even be in their vocabulary.

We have perverted what an average man or woman is in this day and age. Most of us aren’t getting on magazines. Most of us don’t have Adonis bodies. What people need to start realizing is that average isn’t bad and you don’t get the best simply because you want it. You get what you can get

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-03-19T17:17:59+00:00

Let's hope material technology and AI development progress enough so we all be able to get robotic wives.

Intrepid_Ad3062 · 2024-03-19T17:41:41+00:00

Find a girl well below your league and voila

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-03-19T13:41:58+00:00

Women aren’t men. Women don’t lust like men do due to the difference in testosterone and estrogen levels.

TermAggravating8043 · 2024-03-19T14:39:39+00:00

Ok op, what are you actually expecting to happen here?

A woman will be suddenly so smitten by you that without knowing anything about you, she’ll be unable to control herself and drop to her knees in front of you?

Like isnt porn and guys here need to stop this fantasy that if it isn’t true love straight away snd she’s not sucking your dick in the first 20 minutes of meeting you then she’s just settling.

That is not how life or relationships work. At 30, surly you’ve realised that people grow together?

It honestly sounds like you should get some therapy for this and I don’t mean that to sound offensive, but dumping gfs because you’ve convinced yourself ‘their settling’ is not healthy

DarayRaven · 2024-03-19T13:36:11+00:00

Your conflating attraction=arsousal

You could be attractive based on your other qualities but not arousing

DumbWordsmith · 2024-03-19T13:51:04+00:00

"he's ugly but makes me happy" guy

Ah, yes. I found out torn out page from my ex's diary that essentially said this.

If you're not just suffering from low self-esteem, it seems like you understand what's going on. At this point, you can either accept it or stay single IMO. And if you come to accept those terms, then more power to you.

Maybe you can keep dating but learn how to stop taking it seriously?

It makes sense for women to view men like us in that way, and I don't expect any other outcome. Women have to give up other mating opportunities to be with a man, so there has to be compensation (whatever that means on an individual level).

But there's a lot more to life anyway, and you seem to be doing well in every other facet.

Freddsreddit · 2024-03-19T14:36:13+00:00

Youll never be settled if you never settle.

Im serious. Date someone, be happy for a while, but dont be afraid to jump ship. Youll always stay on your toes and will outperform most guys in middle age simply because you keep up, meaning you will "rise" in choice

Opening_Tell9388 · 2024-03-19T15:07:17+00:00

I think we overthink these things. Are you capable of meeting the estimated 100's of millions of people around the world you might be compatible with? No. Probably not. So in that sense, of course. You're always settling. Which is great. You found someone who gives you the feeling of safety to settle and to stop looking. You found them. Are they perfect? Fuck no. Are you perfect? By no stretch of the imagination. BUT this person has chose you. Day in and day out they choose you. That's the most powerful thing in the world.

Looks fade. Unless you're J-Lo then looks are eternal. BUT we aren't all Jenny from the block.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2024-03-19T15:10:40+00:00

Not everyone wins the race. Not everyone gets the hottest chick. Just because a woman ha settled for you doesn't mean she's gonna branch away from you. The woman who settled for you might not be your porn fantasy, but she could be loyal, kind and understanding: which is waaaay harder to find than a thotty with a gyatt. You might think you're being settled for, but sometimes your HER best option dude. Keep your head up king

Safinated · 2024-03-19T14:05:51+00:00

The existence of porn says yes

flipsidetroll · 2024-03-19T16:29:33+00:00

Because you think like a man (obviously) you want to be appreciated only as a man would appreciate a woman. And despite all of you being under the delusion that women aren’t empathetic or can love, we can. But it’s possibly simply not your definition of love. How utterly retarded to expect people to express themselves and feel things only in the same way you do, to believe it! So the women didn’t use the exact words you wanted them to use, and now, through introspection (not introspection btw. You have only projected outwards which is the opposite of introspection), you now feel lacking. Can you see how juvenile that is? If you’re going to keep listening to other men tell you what women want and feel, then you can’t be offended when women describe men using words you don’t like, eg toxic masculinity. Both are wrong. But you only get to complain if you don’t do it. There is a reason that a phrase like “mutually assured destruction” exists. Retaliation in the same method solves nothing.

So, unless someone is a monumentally stupid woman, and of course they exist, brainless and shallow, the majority of women would never describe a man as so shitty but hot. The reaction would be “I thought he was hot, but then discovered he’s a piece of shit, so now I don’t”. A man can be hot, then a 5 min conversation reveals he is stupid and boring. And instantly becomes unattractive.

You are very immature for a 30 yr old. First in only wanting the words you want to hear. And second for believing you had to convince people to love you. So you believe love isn’t something that grows? You believe someone must love you at first sight? I hope that you realise from what I’ve explained that your personality and sex will enhance your looks exponentially. And that the reason most women may not use the exact words is because it is secondary to attraction for them. Nobody ever lay on their death bed and said I wished less people loved me and more people thought I was hot.

You are settled for. That is from men who need ways to appear superior to other men. The ones saying that are edgelords. They pretend to be rebels in society while pushing for you to feel inferior. Really? You think a wig fools women? You think using prostitutes as studio guests fools women? It fools men apparently. But it just makes women look at men and think they must be really gullible.

Title	Is the fate of being settled for, unavoidable?
Author	the_3mp3ror_of_man
Upvotes	42
Comments	187
Date	March 19, 2024 1:22 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1bik5a2/is_the_fate_of_being_settled_for_unavoidable/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/is-the-fate-of-being-settled-for-unavoidable.1427990 https://theredarchive.com/post/1427990

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