Where are the feminist women?

wtknight · 2024-05-01T17:09:45+00:00

Removed. No non-neutral Discussion posts.

toasterchild · 2024-05-01T13:46:16+00:00

Do you know any of these people IRL? I do not, I think most of this is just rage bait and trad fetish.

lvoncreek · 2024-05-01T14:17:27+00:00

Princesses on OnlyFans are like .000001 percent. Most women still see relationships the way you described. Get off the internet sometimes.

krackedy · 2024-05-01T12:23:26+00:00

Most families nowadays have both people working and contributing. Millennial dads spend more time with their kids than dads of any other generation.

I barely know anyone who is able to be financially supported by one income. Most women are getting degrees and working.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-05-01T13:07:37+00:00

Maybe we grew up in different 90s because my parents had very gendered roles.

My dad did 0 housework and if he “cooked” it meant he was picking up fast food for dinner. He worked long hours at a job he hated while my mom freelanced from home and was the primary parent.

They did break the mold sometimes, like my mom did the budget and my dad the finances. My mom did most of the yard work while my dad did major projects.

I think the demands to be taken care of come from women who can’t take care of themselves or have few career prospects. I know they’re a lot of fun to hate, but they’re not the norm.

nightsofthesunkissed · 2024-05-01T12:39:54+00:00

You seem like you've taken too many of your ideas about women from specific corners of the internet tbh. Plenty of women working jobs and careers. Women on OnlyFans is an absolutely tiny percentage of the female population.

Solondthewookiee · 2024-05-01T13:02:24+00:00

Seems this is all gone in our modern era. Princess treatment; simping, getting flown out, only fans;

This is your confirmation bias.

Gravel_Roads · 2024-05-01T12:25:10+00:00

You confusion comes from thinking that if a woman exists like a Princess on OnlyFans, that means ALL women are Princesses on OnlyFans.

In reality, some women are feminists, and also support sex work. Some women are feminists and DON'T support sex work. Some women do sex work and aren't feminists at all. Some women don't do sex work and ALSO aren't feminists.

Some of these women are married to men and have a great relationship. Some of these women are married to men and have a terrible relationship. Some of them can take credit for either the good or the bad - though most women, like most men, are usually a combination of strengths and weaknesses, of which "Princess on OnlyFans" and "feminist" are only two options, of which are millions.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-05-01T13:37:15+00:00

Seems this is all gone in our modern era. Princess treatment; simping, getting flown out, only fans; “I need a man who will support me when I step away from work to be with kids”

That's just zoomer brain rot shit from TikTok.

No regular woman is getting flown out and getting rich on onlyfans or having a rich dude supporting her lazy lifestyle.c

Most women are studying hard and working harder asking themselves if they will ever be able to start a family.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-05-01T13:40:38+00:00

All the things you described are happening in the real world while the ones that “don’t see it” are too busy stuck online being feed by the algorithm an an addictive image that they can’t get enough of so the APP developers s can squeeze in ads to sell them NFTs, obscure crypto counts and other scams.

“If you have spent hours consuming a product that didn’t cost you anything- that means YOU are the product”.

sanslumiere · 2024-05-01T12:31:13+00:00

Your beliefs about life in the 90s are patently false. Women have always and will continue to do the majority of childcare and the majority of housework regardless of whether they are employed outside the home or not, at least in the United States.

All of your examples are Instagram/TikTok rage bait. The VAST majority of women aren't being flown out anywhere. Influencers whose job it is to look good are the exception, not the rule.

My parents both worked outside of the home and they pooled all of their money. My husband and I both work outside the home and we pool all of our money. When we were dating, he paid for more things than I did because he made more money in his professional job than I did as a poor grad student. When I went on maternity leave, he wasn't parsing everything out 50/50 to make sure I was pulling my weight. He actually proposed I stay at home with the kids, but I like my job and I worked hard to get it , and he was fine with that too. Women want supportive men, not ones who ask them why they aren't doing enough for feminism.

And where are the girl bosses? Men repeatedly told us they didn't like career women, now you're lamenting that there aren't enough of them. And despite that, 30% of women in heterosexual relationships are now the primary breadwinners. My guess is the ones who'd be willing to go 50/50/be the primary breadwinner aren't the ones you'd want to date, so you can do with that information whatever you'd like.

Economy-Shake-1448 · 2024-05-01T14:51:39+00:00

Men: I hate feminists!!! Waaa!!!!!!

Women: ok instead of feminism, let’s go back to you financially providing for me, and a metric for how much you value me will be how well you financially provide

Men: 😡 not that way!!!!!

UpbeatInsurance5358 · 2024-05-01T14:24:32+00:00

Most of us are still here, take the internet with a pinch of salt, and of course remember that most of us aren't on there.

Cethlinnstooth · 2024-05-01T12:53:08+00:00

There's clearly countless ordinary working women paying their share and working hard their entire lives.You see them if you interact in person with their workplaces.

The problem is that many men do not receive those perceptions at the same rate they would have in the nineties because we've become an economy that involves less person to person interaction. And uptake of these no contact options has been exceptionally high among young men.

Instead, contact with the small percentage of women who make a very great effort to be visually attractive because that's how they intend to get by in life is very easily obtained via the internet. So guys do that. Those girls are talking to many many guys at once.

And of course nobody...gold digger or not...wants to pay to go get a meal with a guy they met on the internet because usually he's pushing too hard too early.

Then when guys eventually see women in workplaces...maybe the guy gets an injury and must go to the emergency centre to be stitched up...any well presented woman he sees he assumes is one of those girls from the internet on the side when her shift is done... when the reality is she looks damn fine because she's using some of of her hard earned money to take care of herself properly

What changed was technology.

Today I went in person into seven different medical and medical adjacent workplaces. Plenty of working women. Some with and some without wedding rings.

But I could have avoided all except one of those visits if I'd used booking apps and prescription delivery.

superlurkage · 2024-05-01T14:07:33+00:00

What happened was it became clear that many men aren’t going to help out equally or be respectful/supportive, so why not be transactional?

If you can’t change the game, you just have to play it

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GymJunkie2002 · 2024-05-01T14:09:58+00:00

You don't see a lot of them out in the real world, most women you come across in real life are pretty level headed, online however most people are a lot more dramatic and over the top because there's no reason that they can't unfortunately.

Choice-Substance-183 · 2024-05-01T16:11:27+00:00

“I need a man who will support me when I step away from work to be with kids

Was done in the 90s.

This isn't new. You previously called it "mat leave". Do you think maternity leave stopped?

Princess treatment;

Why does women being treated well upset so many men?

simping

Why do other men's actions bother so many men?

getting flown out,

Again, why does this bother you?

only fans

Sex work was around in the 90s.

TSquaredRecovers · 2024-05-01T16:34:04+00:00

Only an estimated 2% of women have ever done any type of sex work in their lives, including cam girl work.

Also, who actually knows women who are flown out to exotic destinations by random men? Do you really think this is happening with any sort of meaningful frequency?

Look, if you get almost all of your information about women from Fresh & Fit or famous social media influencers, I can see where you’d think this type of behavior was common. But it’s not. The vast, vast majority of women are just ordinary people with boring 9-5 jobs, just like you and everyone else.

DannyBOI_LE · 2024-05-01T12:59:56+00:00

Technically all women in the west, even the more traditional types have been influenced by western culture. They may not identify as feminist, but they still consume films, tv, and the general attitudes that were created here over the last 4 decades. Small thing like the trope of the incompetent Homer Simpson husband for example. These attitudes are subtle, but become way more pronounced once you start to travel outside of the united states or other western countries.

Independent-Pause638 · 2024-05-01T14:13:49+00:00

The girlbosses bossed too hard and burned themselves out.

They started thinking "maybe being home with the kids and doing all the housework isn't such a bad thing" and also, we had a pandemic where some of use were able to get a taste of what it would be like if we could stay home.

Social media is mostly to blame as everyone is suffering from FOMO because we just didn't have this much access to the lives (fake or real) of other people. You kept your head down and minded your own business before social media. Now everyone is a content creator, everyone over shares waaaay too much information about themselves online, and everyone thinks the grass is greener elsewhere instead of sticking with the lemons life gave them. In some ways it's beautiful to think you could at a moment's notice change the trajectory of your life in an instant. In reality, it's delusional to think you could just up and go and drastically change your life without a proper plan in place. Time energy MONEY positioning is necessary to change your life POSITIVELY, BUT social media feeds our escapism from our horribly mundane life.

Remember this, if nothing else: when a service is free, it's because you are the product. Please limit the information you give up about yourself online. Not everyone has your best interest at heart and some people will use the ammo you've given them to shoot you with.

Financial_Leave4411 · 2024-05-01T12:34:04+00:00

To answer your question as to where the “female women” are, they are staying away from men like you that put the word female in front of woman. Usually the good women stay home and most have given up on men and dating so they aren’t looking and aren’t open to your advancements.
The reason things aren’t that way anymore is because childcare is too expensive so people can’t put their kids in daycare while Mom goes back to work because daycare cost more than a full-time job pays. Also, men are too lazy and entitled to do their part of the chores any more.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2024-05-01T12:22:10+00:00

LMAO feminism was never about equality it has aways about giving women privilege at the cost of men.

Feminism has aways been about giving women hard power while enforcing further their soft power.

Friedrich_Friedson · 2024-05-01T12:18:42+00:00

the idea was that men and women were equal and a healthy relationship was one where both partners contributed unfettered by gender roles. Men did chores too, women worked and paid jobs too. Children didn’t change this, the dads were active in child-rearing, women took mat leave and then went back to work. Women would view men paying for dates as chauvinistic and patronizing.

This is litterallly how it is where I live lmao. Its alive and well

Seems this is all gone in our modern era. Princess treatment; simping, getting flown out, only fans; “I need a man who will support me when I step away from work to be with kids” which is just tradcon with more polite language. What happened? Where are the girlbosses?

Tiktok ragebait≠reality of most people. Idiots like that existed in the 1990s too, but if you weren't on their circles,you would never know they existed. That has slightly changed now due to internet

Im_Unsure_For_Sure · 2024-05-01T12:29:26+00:00

You only knew a handful of women in the 90s and now you can receive the opinion of thousands of angry women on the internet.

Nothing else changed.

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2024-05-01T12:50:25+00:00

I'm a feminist and believe in exactly what you don't. I believe women should have access to the same opportunities as men and have the same rights, legally. Believing women should choose their own lifestyles, career, and independently be able to control their finances does not negate a woman's choice to want a traditional relationship. Feminism isn't about eradicating traditional values. It's about being able to choose if you want that or not. I would never pay for a first date or go on a coffee/walk date. Despite having a job as a forklift driver, I consider myself very feminine and will not go 50/50 with a man. Also, most men are not feminists and will not pick up half the cooking and cleaning, so that's a moot point. They will happily accept 50% of the bills but won't lift a finger around the house. Men are holding themselves back in this department.

januaryphilosopher · 2024-05-01T14:46:28+00:00

Most women are doing none of this. I bet the women you know are all normal and don't experience this. Not that being doted on doesn't make you a feminist necessarily, you are conflating two different things. You don't need to be any form of "boss" to believe we should strive for equality between men and women (see: Malala Yousafzai), and many "girlbosses" are actually against it (see: Margaret Thatcher). The 90s were also no feminist utopia.

gloomette · 2024-05-01T14:58:19+00:00

GET OFF THE INTERNET!!! Majority of families today are still like the ones you described in the 90s. Your entire world view of women is based off of a caricature of specific internet sub communities. I literally can’t, this sounds so stupid and detached from reality.

Critical_Corner_1859 · 2024-05-01T15:20:39+00:00

Men have never truly contributed 50/50 to a household. In most families women do moat of the cleaning and cooking + child rearing. Not only that, but having someone carry your offspring for 9 months and then feed it every 2 hours for the first months of their life is pretty priceless. There's no equality between women, just equity.

My partner is half my height and almost half my weight. I'm just physically stronger. That means I carry the heavy stuff for her. We're both female. It's not equality, it's equity. I'm able to carry more.

WhiteHalo2196 · 2024-05-01T12:19:57+00:00

Feminism was never about gender equality. Feminists want to abolish traditional gender roles for women while maintaining traditional gender roles for men. When was the last time you saw a feminist protesting against unfair male-only conscription?

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2024-05-01T14:16:14+00:00

Your perspective is biased. OnlyFans and Instragram are not representative of reality. They're just a growing cancer.

Feminism has resulted in women having to fulfill both the male and female role models, and men being constantly shit on. Both men and women are unhappy with this. The economy and government are happy because it almost doubled the workforce while relative wages have stagnated compared with productivity over the last 50 years.

To call princess treatment and OF a variation of tradcon is insane. This is an abomination enabled by the reality that there too many lonely losers out there, which is the result of feminism making women more independent.

VidaSabrosa · 2024-05-01T12:37:28+00:00

i would argue the trad con language is more polite

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-05-01T14:13:36+00:00

Exaggeration, but nuggets of truth. In the post-Covid era lots of young people are questioning work. Also wage stagnation and side hustles are rampant. This "soft girl era" shit is part of that.

Also, at least with black women they're questioning the "strong black woman" role too. That's a real thing, not something I've only experienced on the internet, and only noticed it in the last decade. That conservation is beyond PPD so I'll stop.

analt223 · 2024-05-01T15:31:34+00:00

work in a corporate environment, spend less time online. Yes the amount of people who are not as online is dwindling, but they are still there.

63daddy · 2024-05-01T15:34:19+00:00

Feminists won affirmative action for women in the late 60s, they won WEEA in the mid 70s, women owned business advantages in the late 80s, VAWA in the 90s, the dear colleague letter in 2011, women only healthcare mandates for women in 2014.

Feminists have long and continuously fought for women to be advantaged over men. Feminism hasn’t changed all that much.

volleyballbeach · 2024-05-01T15:39:29+00:00

Quietly working their asses off, not making wack tik toks. Many of the type of feminist you describe are identifying as Egalitarian instead now the feminism has become associated with the princess treatment, “girlbossing” in toxic ways, quotas/reverse discrimination, etc.

AncientResolution411 · 2024-05-01T15:57:38+00:00

Liberal feminism is over. It centers men too much still.

We are going radical feminism now. These ARE feminists. Centered on women.

Poor_Olive_Snook · 2024-05-01T16:05:24+00:00

We don't like being called girlbosses

serpensmercurialis · 2024-05-01T16:10:15+00:00

Seems this is all gone in our modern era. Princess treatment; simping, getting flown out, only fans;

The women pushed to your feed are not representative of all women nor most feminists.

“I need a man who will support me when I step away from work to be with kids” which is just tradcon with more polite language.

If a woman is making below a certain amount of money, rising daycare costs make this logical.

Using the most recent data available from 2018 and adjusted for inflation to 2022 dollars, childcare prices range from $4,810 ($5,357 in 2022 dollars) for school-age home-based care in small counties to $15,417 ($17,171 in 2022 dollars) for infant center-based care in very large counties. These prices represent between 8% and 19.3% of median family income per child.

These maps show that in nearly every county, childcare prices were high relative to family income, pricing families out of paid child care. Higher childcare prices are especially detrimental to maternal employment as mothers’ employment drops in areas with more expensive child care, even in places where women’s wages are higher.

Childcare costs are outpacing inflation.

Inflation, which is the measure of the cost increases over time, hit a record high of 7.5% in January of this year, up from 2.1% in January 2019, which means families are shelling out roughly $250 more per month for household essentials like food, utilities, and rent. That’s in addition to the approximately $1,025 for child care for one infant. All told, the increasing cost of child care in 2020 topped the cost of inflation by nearly 4%.

Taken altogether, this means that childcare costs are increasing at a rate higher than the cost of pretty much anything else in the U.S. At the same time, the federal minimum wage has stalled at $7.25 per hour—$290 per week or $15,080 per year before taxes—for almost a decade and a half. The U.S. poverty income level is $17,420 for a family of two.

Without paid parental leave or affordable high-quality daycare, this is what you get.

on average, child care for one infant cost an average of $12,300 per year in 2020, an increase of $1,000 from 2019 and a staggering 214% since 1990, according to a different report from First Five Years Fund.

And this is why it's different from when you grew up in the 90's.

bluestjuice · 2024-05-01T16:34:55+00:00

I don’t think this has shifted wildly since the 90s. There were traditional-minded people then too. (I spent the 90s being homeschooled in the Midwest so I really had a front-row seat.)

I think the visibility of minority viewpoints has risen exponentially with the rise of the internet. And of course, as is the way with minority viewpoints, the fringiest people are also the ones who care the most and make the most noise about their point of view.

Excomen · 2024-05-01T16:47:44+00:00

I’m hiding

soulangelic · 2024-05-01T16:53:22+00:00

I think you just spend too much time online, honestly.

velvetalocasia · 2024-05-01T12:47:29+00:00

Your picture of the 90s is rose colored…..did you ever try to look closer?

Shoreham_Directives · 2024-05-01T12:51:32+00:00

They’re everywhere. They just induced an entire social-wide conversation about how bears are less dangerous than men. Even members of my family “chose the bear”.

Remote_Panic_3271 · 2024-05-01T14:34:59+00:00

Women are feminists when it’s in their material interest and aren’t when it’s not

Anominon2014 · 2024-05-01T14:54:15+00:00

4th Wave Feminism stopped caring about women and moved intersectionality to the forefront. Women have been supplanted by every other form of oppressed/marginalized community. Most young women have never heard of the message of feminism in the 90’s.

Wrong-Wrap942 · 2024-05-01T15:54:00+00:00

This is a wild, inaccurate, and seriously tone dead statement. Maybe get out of your tiny circle and you’ll find the feminists just fine.

TransLifelineCali · 2024-05-01T13:08:01+00:00

They got everything they wanted and more.

they have no reason to push for equality when they're the privileged class, or stick their neck out for principles that no longer matter.

When I am Weaker Than You, I ask you for Freedom because that is according to your principles; when I am Stronger than you, I take away your Freedom Because that is according to my principles.

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2024-05-01T16:04:06+00:00

Feminism now means whatever is in a woman's best interest, not actual equality.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2024-05-01T13:20:18+00:00

Feminsim isn't about equal rights. If it was it would have died off in the 1970s. Today, feminsim is about special priviledges for women and hating men for not making enough money, being tall and fit and adhereing to traditional male gender roles.

SierraMistSoda · 2024-05-01T12:38:13+00:00

If you were a pretty girl born in 1972 and never left the medium size town you grew up you would just never have the opportunity women have today. If you are a pretty girl born in 2000's and up, you have never known life without internet and probably had a phone and social media in middle school. You can actively make yourself more seen and available for life opportunities.

Most of the times men pay for dates and it's always been that way. The only reason women wanted to pay their part of the date was if they didn't want to see the man again and they didn't want the man to force himself on her for paying. So it was a safety measure not a "I love spending my money on this date" thing.

There are plenty of women out there that want to keep their job and become a parent. They will be late 20's and up and they will be looking for that "active dad/husband" personality so they know you won't leave them with most of the work.

MassiveAd1026 · 2024-05-01T13:52:26+00:00

There are plenty of feminist girl bosses, and they're all single.

Brazuca0 · 2024-05-01T15:07:09+00:00

See, your mistake was believing that feminists want equality, when in reality feminists want whatever gives feminists the most benefits.

This liberal policy benefits me? Gimme.

This specific tradcon treatment benefits me? Gimme too.

MasterTeacher123 · 2024-05-01T15:44:19+00:00

Writing thinkpieces on Twitter

Sparkling_gourami · 2024-05-01T16:02:21+00:00

This is just my experience, but when a woman is really into you she’ll be very eager to do things for you, pay her share, or treat you.

Trumpdrainstheswamp · 2024-05-01T13:23:47+00:00

The show sex in the city, written by a man hilariously enough, is what caused where we are today.

Title	Where are the feminist women?
Author	Particular_Trade6308
Upvotes	10
Comments	180
Date	May 1, 2024 12:10 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1chkld9/where_are_the_feminist_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/where-are-the-feminist-women.1517004 https://theredarchive.com/post/1517004

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