Can you empathize with the other side?

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-04-26T02:52:41+00:00

I can sympathize with socially inexperienced guys. They face a very steep learning curve, and due to how this plays out the rejection and awkwardness is front-loaded. This can be very discouraging and difficult to overcome, because it's not really a skill that you can become adept with by yourself. It's not like practicing piano at home being able to play publicly once you're good enough. Even when you're bad at it, there will be people there to witness it and the way they handle it can be painful, even traumatizing.

I can empathize with men who feel they are at an unfair disadvantage due to their genetics.

I can sympathize with the relative rigidity of male gender roles compared to women's. I do think it's far more socially acceptable for women to renounce traditional gender roles, and behave in non-gender-conforming ways without severely limiting one's compatibility.

I can sympathize with domestic and sexual abuse not being taken as seriously, though I do believe the majority of that is propagated by other men.

Hell, I even sympathize with the fact that men can't truly know if a kid is theirs without a paternity test. I understand the logic. Doesn't mean I think it should be mandated, nor does it mean I think women shouldn't be offended or not be justified in leaving a guy over it. But I do understand that technically a man can't guarantee the baby that came out of his partner's body was actually created from his sperm and no one else's. Unless they were the last two people on earth or chained to each other or something crazy like that.

The-Devilz-Advocate · 2024-04-26T02:14:33+00:00

I can empathize with the struggles women have, always did. It's just that women outright refuse to even fathom that in these modern times, they might be the ones in a position of power and therefore privileged.

I don’t actually think (hetero) women live on easy mode, I think they’re playing a different game altogether.

If the rules and objectives are the same for them as they are to men, (get married, maybe have children, settle down etc) then the game is absolutely the same and therefore "easy mode."

AngeCruelle · 2024-04-26T02:13:30+00:00

I can empathize with virgin/inexperienced men who prefer virgin/inexperienced partners because I do in fact feel the same way. I also know what it feels like to have people get really asshurt about this preference for no good reason.

Ironically my own BF is the soft one in this area. He didn't care about my past at all. For him, my lack of experience was more of a fun piece of trivia than something to celebrate. I asked him why, because I always assumed it was something men cared about at least a little. He said he could see both the benefits of learning with and learning from me. So he was open to whatever my circumstances might have been, if I chose to say anything about it at all.

UpstairsAd1235 · 2024-04-26T06:50:53+00:00

Examples:

I can empathize with women who felt used by the men they had sex with. I do not plan to ever cheat, mislead, or lie to a woman about my intentions. So I can see why the feeling of betrayal and the sorrow of being led astray may hurt them. I try to put myself in their shoes in this type of scenarios in order to better understand them.

I can also empathize with ugly women who are overlooked by most men. I think they know better than any other woman what it feels like to be a lonely man.

I empathize with women feeling in danger during events in which they are by themselves, especially if it is at night. If you really do not feel anger, sadness, and anxiety, when you hear the news about a woman who was raped, mutilated, kidnapped, etc., you are really soulless IMO. This is why I never agree with radicalized incels. Those guys are nutjobs.

etc.

But! Does that mean that I have to agree that they do not play a part in any of that (aside from the crimes committed against them out of nowhere)? No. Does that mean I have to agree with all the things they do? Hell, no! Does that mean that I have to agree with any ideology that pushes dangerous ideas of masculinity and men? NO! Does that mean I have to live my life walking on eggshells for other men's sins? Fuck, no! Who even thinks that is the natural progression? It is never: empathy --> agreeance/servitude.

Are women perfect/angels? NO! But... (this is where empathy comes) are men perfect/angels? HELL NO! I don't think any man could even begin to claim that LOL.

I PLAY A PART IN ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN MY LIFE. So I treat them the same as I treat myself.

^ To prove to you that I am empathetic towards women?

Also, I needed to add this just because. I empathize with women wanting their partners to help in cleaning the house. Especially if both of them work. Like, seriously, at least clean up after yourselves, Goddammit! The amount of nasty, selfish, men that I had the displeasure to deal with in college while dorming is astounding... They didn't have any problems dating/having sex with women, though... So, I kind of empathize with them, but also see what they are doing wrong.

MikeArrow · 2024-04-26T02:15:36+00:00

For sure. I was one of those lazy, entitled, apathetic boyfriends so I know how easy it is to get stuck in a relationship with a guy that is resistant to change, uses guilt tripping and hot/cold behavior to get his way, and lets his body go because he's already achieved the goal of getting a girlfriend but doesn't fully comprehend the goal of keeping a girlfriend.

wtknight · 2024-04-26T02:19:04+00:00

Yes, of course. Many of my comments here constitute empathizing with women.

I do think they have an easier time having sex, of course. But this doesn't have the same value to them as men being able to have easy access to sex does.

MyUpSeemsDown · 2024-04-26T08:52:28+00:00

I dk about empathy, certainly sympathy.

I'm a 6ft, 210lbs guy who regularly works out. Not so low body fat but generally I'm considered buff and actually helps me look bigger. But just being in close proximity to other guys who are bigger than me always makes me think what if these dudes just decide they'll fight me. I might have a chance, I certainly have a past so I know I can stand my ground, but just the imposing physical difference is glaring even to someone who is physically confident like me. Now to imagine being a girl in an elevator or alleyway or whatever, I get why some are scared. And this is why guys should really learn to socialize as them not coming off some sketchy figure gives them a lot more chance than they think.

Also being helplessly dependent on someone's whim is quite an ordeal. Traditionally having man be the breadwinner while stay home moms might not seem like a big deal, but if they were to get divorced, women gets absolutely fucked. Custody one may argue is a benefit they get. Really? You have to take care of child, have a place to live, food on the plate, electricity, water bill, cars, maintenance, entertainment, and if you were a stay home mom all your life you are absolutely fucked in the job market because you have 0 value in employer's eyes. Even then, where do you even find the time to do all these alone? I can see why some women in past chose to just withstand the lesser evil because it's either that or get absolutely fucked. Thankfully that's why shit like alimony and child support exist, and this is lesser occurrence now days as women are prevalent in job market.

Arms race for best dress and make up and fashion trend every other day probably sucks too.

And just generally I think them being demonize as if they're just straight heartless gold digging whores who care for nothing but material kinda sucks. I know what it feels like to be wronged to my essence. In my eyes they're just people, I think they should just get to live, like the things they like do the things they do, without having to worry about if it comes off some twisted way.

EulenWatcher · 2024-04-26T02:39:45+00:00

At least partially.

Men are largely still expected to go and die for their country. Even if they don't agree with the cause of the war. Depending on your luck and place of birth in the eyes of your state you're still a war meat with no free will.

Male victims of DV or sexual violence have it absolutely horrible. No help from the police (you also can get arrested yourself), quote often no legal repercussions for their abusers and no/very limited resources to seek help. It's harder to explain to others what you're going through as well.

Male gender role overall is still more restrictive than female one. Men experience more pressure to approach, initiate and entertain (at least to a degree). Men are expected not just to make money, but also do a whole other bunch of stuff that they're still not used to and it stresses everyone out. I can see how they might feel frustrated about modern expectations compared to what they might have seen in their parents or grandparents marriages.

Being single when you really want a partner just sucks and it's not that you can force it happen by your sheer will power. If you're held back by something immutable, like you have a very unfortunate appearance, you're on the spectrum and you cannot mask it well, you have drastic and life-changing health issues, dating might be just not something you'll get to experience. It's frustrating and depressing.

There are things that I cannot emphasize with, but these are the ones I can get.

MattPayneWrestler · 2024-04-26T02:10:15+00:00

At first its hard, because sexual attention is something I crave like crazy, and I am so envious of anyone who receives that attention from the gender of which they’re attracted to. So it seems to me that hetero men and lesbians live in hell and hetero women and gay men live in heaven. But then I do realize that it must be scary to have bigger physically bigger men all wanting you, which would ruin the fun of getting attention. Its something hard to comprehend as a big tough guy, since all the women on earth could be harrassing the crap out of me, and I would be in paradise and not feel one bit in danger. Also, not everyone craves attention like me, so yeah, i guess if you dont like it, then it would suck, but I cannot really comprehend what that would be like. I also think men get more respect generally, but I could care less about respect since it just seems like the more respected you are the more people expect of you. I like to be just be careless and responsibilities free😄. But to someone who values respect, I could see how it would suck for them. Still , I honestly cannot actually comprehend why that would suck, I’m just going bu the logic “If they don’t like it, then it sucks to them” My gold is someone elses garbage.

Legitimate_Type_1324 · 2024-04-26T05:26:15+00:00

I can.

Feeling unsafe, harassment, confronting men on the streets, men being assholes. Go spend time in a dangerous South American country (where men kill men but not so much women) and you will see what it feels like.

I can empathize with lonely women and insecure women. And I can empathize about the feeling you're just being used for sex.

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2024-04-26T02:29:23+00:00

Yes. I was determined to be a machiavellian heartbreaker after discovering TRP. Unfortunately, dating and hooking up with women had the opposite effect. It made me empathize with them. Nothing has made me hate men more than dating women. Don't get me wrong, just because I empathize with women, it doesn't mean I support their bullshit. I'm still a sexist asshole. But yeah... I understand why women do the things they do.

emorizoti · 2024-04-26T07:33:32+00:00

Not for the most part. I have outmost respect and empathy on individual level not the whole gender.

For the average woman that I met, they had life on easy mode, described the break up with her ex as the worst part in their life, and some tolerated a lot of bad things from men leaving me wondering and see the truth of who they really are not the facade they try to put with social gaslighting. For these reasons I don't have much of empathy on women as a gender.

Anyway this is what I expect from a woman, not that every kind of woman is like that. I've been influenced and have empathy about a few women in my life who didn't have it easy mode, sacrificed a lot without any gender privilege to be where they were, achieved a lot against all odds and had it worse than a break up with their ex.

schrodingerscat94 · 2024-04-26T07:57:17+00:00

It’s generally very difficult to emphasize with a broad category of people. It’s way easier when you are imagining a specific person, like your mother or father. I’m sure all of you have seen at least one of your parents struggle through some sort of life problems. If you haven’t, maybe you should start paying attention to people irl instead of people online.

MajIssuesCaptObvious · 2024-04-26T10:27:18+00:00

Everything that OP said. Additionally:

I can sympathize with women not feeling safe walking up the street and having to be firm with a guy who is just trying to chat. As a guy, it doesn't feel good being spoken to like a potential attacker, but I've read the stories about rapists who used charm to get a woman to drop her guard, so that's one of the reasons I don't talk to women as much anymore: I don't want to elevate their already heightened guard. A book called The Gift of Fear helped me see this more clearly.

I can also empathize with women when having to reject someone. I started dating more selectively, so I've had to reject a few women. Some of them have really gone off after being rejected even though I've tried to be gentle about it. It's not an easy thing.

Dankutoo · 2024-04-27T12:52:20+00:00

I find it hard to sympathise with women’s dating struggles. Their problems are much more likely of their own making, and there’s usually no good excuse for the ridiculous situations they put themselves in.

On the other hand I think of my male friends who’ve struggled, and I’m mostly struck by how NORMAL they are. Women here act like the men who struggle at dating are all 300lbs neckbeards, but they aren’t. If I had a line-up of my successful and unsuccessful friends and asked strangers to pick which ones had more success, and which less….they would not reliably be able to do so. That I find really striking.

Safinated · 2024-04-26T03:16:23+00:00

Of course I can

Still doesn’t make me want to fuck or mommy them

Remote_Panic_3271 · 2024-04-26T02:11:50+00:00

I find it extremely difficult to empathize or sympathize with women because I view them as holding control over dating and being in on a sexual monopoly by right of birth. I also feel that many of their woes are self inflicted and are caused by their own mate selection and behavior in dating.

PMmeareasontolive · 2024-04-26T04:38:32+00:00

I can empathize with women about the harassment part. Men can be horrid. A female friend of mine had some creep threaten her from a car in a drive by sort of situation while she was just walking around the neighborhood. It was just some creepy incel-type "getting even with women" or some fucked up shit. Nothing came of it, he just sped off. He just wanted to frighten a woman. So fuck that 1000x.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-04-26T08:36:28+00:00

I understand what it's like to be alone. But one thing I can never emphatize is as men say they want anyone just for the sake of not being alone, they want A RELATIONSHIP, they don't really care about the actual person, women are replacable to them, because they are just for the sake of A RELATIONSHIP. And that's one thing I can never emphatize with. You should only go after women that truly catch your heart in a special way.

But otherwise I know what it's like to be alone, just A RELATIONSHIP with any random better than nothing replacable person is not a solution. And also men who don't have problem to find anyone do this for the sake of sex, they just use women they don't like for their body until they find a woman they like. That's also horrible.

sanslumiere · 2024-04-26T15:49:11+00:00

Sure. I think the expectations for a man are tough to live up to. You have to be strong, you have to provide, you can't show the wrong types of emotions for fear of appearing weak, you could be drafted into a war you don't agree with, you have to be confident, you have to make the first move and deal with rejection. That's a lot to shoulder. My introverted ass could never; I'd die alone for sure.

Excomen · 2024-04-26T02:55:32+00:00

There is no other side, it’s all the other side for me. It’s just… confusing. I never knew romantic or sexual attraction could have such an utterly devastating pull on others.

DumbWordsmith · 2024-04-26T12:03:59+00:00

Yeah, of course. Humans, male and female, are innately flawed. IMO men on average would behave similarly if they had the abundance and support that women have in modern Western society. They'd take it all for granted.

Coming from a poor country, I've seen this with many (though definitely not all) Americans who were born in the US. Many don't comprehend how bad it can get, so they make mountains out of molehills (and take their privileges for granted) while enjoying a relatively comfortable, free life. However, had I been born here, it's possible that I'd have the same perspective as them.

YuYuHakusho23 · 2024-04-26T13:27:39+00:00

Nope I honestly can’t.

hearyoume14 · 2024-04-26T14:31:22+00:00

I sympathize with men about their role being more finite and not being taken seriously on account of their sex.

I get the impression that many here view the opposite sex’s actions a deliberate infliction of harm.

Most of my abusers were female and I hesitate to assign blame to a same age peer from when we were both pre-teens. I struggle with all or nothing thinking anyway. My fear of women and positive experiences with men put me in a lonely place.

The outliers really mess of up the bell curve for both sexes.Same with biological reality and strategy meeting experiences.If we lean into any so-called privilege then we are bad people but if we don’t then we are pandering and not using all of our advantages.

Glum_Heron6915 · 2024-04-26T14:31:50+00:00

I can empathize, or at least I used to empathize. These days it's difficult to empathize when you're being actively harmed by the group you're trying to empathize with. I'm sure that's the perceived problem on the other side too. Whelp.... guess we're all fucked then.

EveningEveryman · 2024-04-26T16:21:20+00:00

Yes, but what's their to really be concerned with?

TheGreatBeefSupreme · 2024-04-26T16:57:00+00:00

I’m purple, so I’m not sure I belong to any particular side, but I can say that I do empathize with women and I hope I give everyone a fair shake.

Troublen421 · 2024-04-26T21:07:32+00:00

You can sympathize with any group and also think that they have it easier. I sympathize with women’s dating struggles, but in general I think they have it far far easier.

Virtual_Piece · 2024-04-27T00:56:15+00:00

I guess I can empathize with the fact that a for a woman specifically, reproduction is more risky than for a man so in a way, if a woman were to outwardly emphasize her hypergamy that would be understandable because of her unique circumstances.

Also the fear of being sexually victimized would be understandably higher due to a woman being more likely to have to deal with advances (sometimes rude ones) from men and also the fact that the dangers of said assault is pushed constantly in her face.

There's also the difficulty of getting actual commitment from men and the unique challenges that can come with having to entertain different men and being disappointed when inevitably 99% of them end up being a waste of time. Honestly that sounds uniquely draining to have to go on date after date only to come home after yet another asshole or creep, or boring dude.

volleyballbeach · 2024-04-26T04:51:15+00:00

I empathize with men on many issues, tho not all the ones I see complained about on here.

Examples I empathize with:

Bias in the courts

Expectation to be confident/make the first move - I’ve tried before and to shy to even initiate flirting. Can’t imagine having to almost always be the initiator to get anywhere

The draft

more restrictive gender roll expectations (such as it’s ok or even cool for me to be tomboyish, dress in men’s clothes, and work in the trades whereas a man who wants to wear a dress or makeup or get his nails done would face significantly more social stigma)

Domestic abuse of men is not taken as seriously by the police as domestic abuse of women

Examples I don’t epathize with:

The complaint that men do “the hard jobs” - my main gripe about this complaint is it mainly comes from keyboard warrior who have never done “the hard jobs” themselves either and take credit for the work of others based on their gender. And totally ignore that women such as myself have suffered injuries etc and taken risk to our health and safety in hard/dangerous/physically demanding trades. Like instead of complaining about the women who peak easy paths, why not complain about the people who pick easy paths. Lazy comes in all genders.

Bitching about divorce/wanting to end no fault divorce - I know women who pay significant alimony. And the idea that divorce shouldn’t be allowed no fault just makes no sense to me - I have know sympathy for someone who would rather have their partner stay with them unwillingly or unhappily than set the free. I guess I feel the the anti-no-fault-divorce folks have lost sight of love/fullfillment/happiness in a cynical fixation on finances

Complaint that women hold ALL the power in dating - broad generalizations are stupid and off putting to me. People are individuals with individual struggles.

SleepyPoemsin2020 · 2024-04-26T07:09:32+00:00

My empathy for men's dating struggles has significantly waned over time. I don't understand why they want sexual and/or romantic attention so badly, and the level of vitriol some men spew at women because they don't get the relationship or sex that they want has made me just not really care.

I do retain empathy for male struggles outside of dating however.

Yongaia · 2024-04-26T02:55:51+00:00

No I cannot. Women hold all the cards in modern dating. They have all the privilege.

Remote_Panic_3271 · 2024-04-26T02:12:41+00:00

I feel that women have ensured men can not empathize with them and this will lead to real world consequences for women

ThrowawayHomesch · 2024-04-26T02:45:05+00:00

No I don't empathize with them, especially in the dating scene. Nearly every problem they complain about is completely avoidable. The only thing I do empathize with them on is menstural pain. That's it.

FunEducation1434 · 2024-04-26T07:59:26+00:00

Only with physically deformed, or mentally disabled women.

gntlbastard · 2024-04-26T15:35:02+00:00

Can I empathize that women have it tough? Yes. Why? Because 99% of the population has it tough.

Brazuca0 · 2024-04-26T21:22:26+00:00

IMO men can empathize with women alot better than the opposite. And i dont think there any biological and psychological difference to the reason why, i think it's simply because from young age you're taught about female issues, so you can at least to some degree understand it. The opposite dosent happen.

obviousredflag · 2024-04-26T12:51:52+00:00

That is not empathy.

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-04-26T16:55:19+00:00

I can't really empathize with either side. Most problems are self inflicted.

Splendend · 2024-04-27T01:55:22+00:00

As far as appearance related issues are concerned, yes. I have body dysmorphia, so my own mind inflicts on me a concentrated version of what society does to women.

As far as safety is concerned, yes, but in an abstract sense. I have no concrete experience for comparison since I have only felt physically unsafe once in my life.

As far as gendered verbal or psychological abuse is concerned, no. In my life I have witnessed, and been subject to, more female-on-male than male-on-female abuse. Which is part of why the ‘men are trash’ meme makes me want to vomit.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2024-04-26T03:54:59+00:00

I empathize with the struggles of men abstractly and individual men in my life. But a lifetime of redpill content has left me with such a bad taste in my mouth that I feel no need to pull my punches here.

AutoModerator · 2024-04-26T01:33:03+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Stop_Maximum · 2024-04-26T07:55:01+00:00

I can empathise with the struggles many face today in finding love or even initiating relationships, especially compared to their aspirations when younger. It's not their fault; societal dynamics have shifted, leaving gaps in fulfillment despite modern conveniences. It's disheartening to witness individuals putting in effort, overcoming past hurts, yet facing barriers to connection. I empathise with those who followed societal norms yet their lives still remain unfulfilled. The challenge of forming genuine friendships is daunting, leading them to resort to self-deception for survival. I sympathise with those drawn to extremist ideologies as a coping mechanism. Additionally, it's heartbreaking to see individuals deprived of basic affection, like a kiss or hug, which many take for granted. I know there’s no solution to this per se, but I can empathise with them and hope they’ll get to experience it one day.

bielsasballholder · 2024-04-26T09:18:09+00:00

abaxeron · 2024-04-26T09:59:14+00:00

Yes; I can think of a dozen reasons from the top of my head why being a woman must absolutely suck.

Ironically, longevity is one of them. Aint nothing in the world as good as having an extra decade of the part of life when you already have no libido, no teeth, very few living friends and relatives of your generation, only half of key joints, quite a little of sharp mind left intact, and all of the neuroticism to desperately cling to this miserable existence despite full knowledge that it will never get better.

"The wall" must be quite the experience as well. It's one thing going from a boy who almost no-one ever cared of, to a man who almost no-one ever cared of, to an old man. The only thing changing is hairline in the mirror. It must be quite the other thing for a woman to go from a girl everyone adored, to a young woman who lost count how many times she had to respond with "And I DON'T love you", to an old woman, especially if childless, who has to bribe neighboring kids with free homemade cookies just to hear someone talk for five extra minutes.

But to be fair, being a young woman must also quite suck. Yes, stay relatively not fat, and you have a superpower to make people's brains do happy just by looking at you. No, you had to basically sacrifice everything for it. A couple times you threw a jar on the floor in anger after the 10th attempt to open it yourself (and the bastard did not even shatter); you need a special harness just to run half as fast as your male peers without it causing you pain; to quote mr Garrison, "you bleed for five days and don't die", and if you're one of the "lucky" ones, welcome to the endometriosis club, or say hi to your ovarian cysts. If you're one of the other "lucky" ones, you can easily live your entire life never even once experiencing an orgasm. Your elevated sense of taste and smell is fine and well, and helped you more than once not to accidentally stuff yourself with spoiled food or drinks, but turns into a tidal wave of sensory overload every spring, every traffic jam, and every sewer system failure you find yourself in on around of. Not only your hormonal background is absolutely wild, it shifts back and forth every couple weeks. You can get friggin bruises from a handshake. Awesome.

And the worst thing, you have very narrow ability to be content with your life, no matter how outright perfect it is. And this one is probably the worst of the worst of the worst.

In terms of dating, ... not so much.

The dating reality women find themselves in today - is the one they actively advocated and fought for.

Cheating is legal, being a deadbeat parent of either sex is normal, staying single is encouraged, marriage basically means nothing, men are punished for succeeding and rewarded for leading mostly semi-vegetable existence.

Levels of testosterone, "the hormone of evil", are lower than they were within observable time span and falling, and those men whose levels are elevated - are mostly in prison.

It's not just a second-wave feminist's wet dream; it's her sprunt-dream.

Enflamed-Pancake · 2024-04-26T11:31:36+00:00

I can empathise with women over being harassed when they aren’t looking for anything. That can’t be pleasant and some men do not take rejection well, which can put women under a lot of social pressure to not come across too strongly in their rejection. Personally I don’t understand men who get upset at being told ‘No’, even if the way it is delivered seems harsh.

I don’t empathise with women who choose bad partners because they allowed themselves to be blinded by traits they found attractive and ignored obvious red flags. I’ve seen this numerous times in my life where the attractive guy who parties constantly, does drugs and drinks a lot turns out, shock horror, to not be a great partner over the medium and longer term.

just_a_place · 2024-04-26T12:59:08+00:00

Yes, and that is not necessarily a good thing.

ColbyXXXX · 2024-04-26T14:19:49+00:00

Yeah I think women have lots of problems that men do not have. Like having to worry about being killed on a first date. I never worried about being killed by a woman even when one was threatening to do it I just laughed it off.

Women also get sexually harassed so much and again the person hitting on them could easily hurt or kill them. I also think some problems women have are caused by corporations such as beauty standards and some are caused by other women such as competing with their daughters over men. I have seen moms try and have sex with their daughters boyfriends many times. Happened to me before and my brother too.

Khidorahian · 2024-04-26T14:40:25+00:00

Absolutely, I completely understand why women don't want to date men.

coping_man · 2024-04-26T15:07:24+00:00

depends i mean some people just have awesome ideas like having unrptoected sex without thinking about the consequences and i dont jive with that but generally sure i can understand that for them 70, 80, 90% of men or even 99.98% of the men according to their tinder swipe stats are just not desirable to them

grown_folks_talkin · 2024-04-26T17:57:34+00:00

Not very often, to be honest, especially when it comes to dating. I'm definining empathize as "I've felt that way too and it sucks to some degree", not "I understand that life experience is different, and can see the downsides" which I feel often.

The only exception that stands out is after my divorce when I hopped onto the apps and they were still free and booming. I was leaving texts on read from people who were in the upper third of what I considered attractive, or women who I could easily envision being perfect to other "solid" men but not to me, and passing on these women sheerly due to time constraints alone.

For that sliver of time, I remember thinking this is what it must be like to be a decent-looking 25-year-old woman.

I'm not an extrovert or alpha, but what turns me on and gets my attention is extremely carnal and unrefined, just the polar opposite of what most women experience.

Kagenikakushiteru · 2024-04-26T23:55:15+00:00

As a somewhat introverted guy but who was smart enough to self make millions, despite being an ethnic minority in the west, I’d rather be a man any day.

Women have used by dates and in my East Asian culture that’s probably 27 or 28. So just that short 5 years. A smart Asian guys career has no limits. I had $40k when I was like 22. $2m when I was 30. More than $10m now before 40. Girls keep flowing in and every year there’s new 20 year olds who are prettier, tighter and cheaper.

The key is just to realise chicks keep growing up, there’s heaps of them, if there’s rejection it’s really her loss as she’ll be disregarded in a few more years anyway

BDaily24 · 2024-04-27T00:55:59+00:00

Not one bit. Internet forums have opened my eyes to how truly self serving and shallow men are. And how utterly incapable of self reflection they are.

Why would I empathize with someone who only values or cherishes me for my looks and youth?

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-04-27T04:01:06+00:00

i can, at least with some women. it depends on the individual and their circumstances and that goes for both genders.

i think modern dating and life in general has challenges for both men and women, just different ones. some of them are external, so i definitely have empathy in those instances. much less so with bad individual choices leading to bad outcomes.

Bobcat-4069 · 2024-04-27T14:09:45+00:00

Not at all. They won't do the same for us. It's war.

SmallSituation6432 · 2024-04-27T15:08:20+00:00

Lack of empathy is the mark of an unwell mind.

My point being that of course the vast majority of people can empathize with the other side. The problem is that people largely expect empathy to lead to sympathy, or even equate the two, and that just doesn't have to happen.

I can empathize without holding sympathy for some TRP dude blaming all his problems on society and women. No no matter how true or empathetic the circumstances are, we all react to those circumstances and people that react with sexism, hate, and victimization do not deserve sympathy. In fact, its because I can empathize with the circumstances that they are so infuriating; because they choose the selfish easy answer instead of the harder true ones.

Neat-Skill-3452 · 2024-05-10T19:20:08+00:00

This topic is quite ridiculous.

Of course we empathize with what you call the other side.. if a woman lose her job, her friend, husband etc.. i'll definitely empathize.

I don’t actually think (hetero) women live on easy mode.

you wanted to talk about dating and relationship here ? if that.. then you're dead wrong. It's not on easy mode, it's on below easy mode.

One-Objective-3715 · 2024-04-26T02:28:07+00:00

Absolutely not when it comes to relationships and dating. Women hold all of the power in those situations. Any faults or misgivings is 99% on them due to poor mate selection, being naive, or just plain lack of self-awareness. Any woman can find a genuine, fulfilling relationship if they actually tried. Meanwhile men who seemingly have their shit together i.e. decent job, fit, and well-meaning can’t find anyone who would give them the time of day.

When it comes to issues outside of relationships/gender-specific issues then sure, but what I commonly find is that women are completely unable to empathize with men in under any circumstances.

AdEffective7894s · 2024-04-26T03:28:30+00:00

I used to be able to.

Now I don't. At all.

Everytime I feel it I rip it out.

I am not gonna carry emotional water for them anymore.

gloomette · 2024-04-26T02:19:21+00:00

I can kinda empathize with some men’s loneliness, hopelessness and low self esteem when it comes to dating. I often feel the same way. However, I tend to keep my distance and quietly observe from afar. At the same time I find myself annoyed at their neuroticism. I also think a lot of them aren’t really lonely, just horny, entitled and looking to guilt trip women into giving them pity sex.

Edit: Outside of that, no. I don't care about mens issues on a general scale. They barely empathize with women anyways. Half the issues they face are self-inflicted, or they're just complaining to complain they don't really care. Male mental health is a great example.

Steakman1 · 2024-04-26T02:34:15+00:00

I empathize with women not having their problems taken seriously by their peers because my parents, unfortunately, were the same towards me growing up. It’s very easy to feel isolated when you’re being told you problems are insignificant compared to what the other person had to go through.

Seems like a woman’s individual problems are often written off as her just being emotional or on her period, or something along those lines.

And as much as it can suck being used for a free meal as a man, I think I would feel worse being used for my body by someone I was interested in trying to have something more with. Especially if I’m being told my value is now lowered because they used me like that.

Purple_Kangaroo8549 · 2024-04-26T21:33:53+00:00

No lol, there is not a single way in western society in which women are disadvantaged.

Necessary-Ask-3619 · 2024-04-26T06:41:03+00:00

Not anymore. I did. Infact, I ovedid. Was a hardcore bluepiller who used to think women are oppressed by men. Never empathized with my own gender.

Now, I am completely flipped. Individual cases, I may empathize but the gender related issues women face? Absolutely not. Women have shown that they will never empathize with any issues men face. Not only will they not empathize, they will actively enable & encourage other women to continue their abuse of laws, shaming & coercion tactics and would gladly watch men suffer.

I don’t actually think (hetero) women live on easy mode, I think they’re playing a different game altogether.

They do live on easy mode because the different game they play is far easier to win.

I’ve also witnessed women at their most passionate and majestic when around Chads they want to bang (I’ve experienced this rarely but I have many Chad friends)

If only we could show that to people who say the reason many women don't want to fuck their husbands is because he isnt doing enough around the house. A chad husband wouldn't have to do anything and still get sex as much as he wants. 🤣

ThePleasuresofSin · 2024-04-26T01:55:46+00:00

Yeah if women empathize with me first and date me.

OkStory2525 · 2024-04-26T12:17:46+00:00

No. Men create their own problems. Then they harass, threaten, kill and rape people, and think that's supposed to make sane people care about their issues.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-04-26T02:17:07+00:00

I would rather fuck them than empathize with them.

UranusJohnson · 2024-04-26T05:03:57+00:00

I can empathize with a lot of women's struggles in dating.

Despite what a lot of men might say, an entirely average woman is invisible, and most men don't actually want a girl who's ENTIRELY average unless he himself is on every metric.

Most men aren't willing to admit that even though it seems like a lot of women have options MANY don't beyond guys who will just fuck them not to mention lots of men nowadays are unserious, not trying to date, or are just with basically no morals.

It's slim pickings for a lot of women depending on their environment and circumstance.

That being said I think MOST women are unwilling to recognize some of their advantages and play at them or even their own character flaws that don't make them desirable beyond their body (character flaws you can fix and develop), but I don't believe it's nearly as "easy" to get a man who's worth something. Most of y'all mfers sit inside all day, are porn addicted, and have no ambition (you KNOW who you are).

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-04-26T06:47:36+00:00

No, not in the slightest; I don’t have sympathy for them, I don’t empathise with them, and on a personal level I don’t particularly like them - they serve one purpose and one purpose only, and if that avenue is not open to me (as in if she’s not interested) then they may as well not exist as far as I’m concerned.

itm4l2000 · 2024-04-26T06:03:32+00:00

Being a modern woman is tough.

The equivalent of a rock and a hard place is stuck between a career, fertility, expectations of child rearing and maintaining a standard living one is accustomed to.

To expect a romantic male male peer to put her in her feminine is unrealistic. He isn't earning enough with the increasing cost of living. Many modern men are becoming indifferent to women.

I think the messaging to modern women is confusing, do this do that, "you are doing all the right things" but not being fulfilled.

Women aren't meant for hard lives, they are vessels for containing and emmiting emotions. But finding a man that will sign up for this tacit agreement is what I think men are reserved about and women feel unworthy or unwilling to settle into.

Title	Can you empathize with the other side?
Author	Particular_Trade6308
Upvotes	45
Comments	351
Date	April 26, 2024 1:33 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1cd8x9t/can_you_empathize_with_the_other_side/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-you-empathize-with-the-other-side.1516424 https://theredarchive.com/post/1516424

Comments