If men actually cared about single moms as a “societal issue”, they would be encouraging men to be stepfathers.

Fichek · 2024-07-12T00:29:48+00:00

"We have huge issues with mass theft!"

"Well if you cared about that as a societal issue then you should just give the thieves whatever they want so they won't steal!"

MongoBobalossus · 2024-07-12T00:20:53+00:00

This is a dumb take. I don’t think you should automatically exclude single mothers from dating, but, just encouraging men wholesale to date single moms “for society” has the same energy of “women should just date incels so they don’t go on shooting rampages.”

boom-wham-slam · 2024-07-12T00:25:25+00:00

I know right? It's like all the people who complain about homeless too. Like they don't even share their house and their king size beds with them, king size is plenty of room to cuddle up with an unhoused person. All talk. They really don't care or they would make little Jimmy bunk with some homeless men. Let one live on their couch. If they won't clean up someone's mess at their own personal inconvenience, they don't care. Fact.

shadowrangerfs · 2024-07-12T00:40:36+00:00

The problem with your solution is that it takes all responsibility off of the women. What you're proposing is for women to make bad choices in men and then have some other man come in and clean up.

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-07-12T01:31:40+00:00

I remember seeing this ad nauseam on Red Pill forums. Guys claiming that women and "society" were browbeating them into marrying single mothers. They used the exact wording - that people were saying they have to "step up" and do this.

I didn't believe this was a real thing at the time. I thought it was a bunch of dudes inventing a victim scenario to complain about. But here we are...

PS: I have zero problems with single mothers and you will never see me criticizing or ridiculing them in any way. I also don't think it's being a "cuck" to choose to take some responsibility in raising a child who is not yours biologically. I wouldn't do it because I have no interest in kids whatsoever, but more power to guys who are open to it.

OkProfessional9405 · 2024-07-12T00:37:04+00:00

Trapping men is a technique women have used for millennia. If you allowed men the same rights as women in terms of becoming a parent, then men could inform a woman who is pregnant that he plans on not being a parent. This would mirror the safe harbor laws that allow women to give up children no questions asked with no parental responsibilities.

If this were the case I think you'd eliminate a lot of attempts at trapping men which would lead to fewer single moms.

Barely-moral · 2024-07-12T00:15:36+00:00

So your solution to single mothers existing is rewarding the women that picked the wrong men with relationships with men that are willing to be stepfathers?

That is not a solution that is giving an incentive for women to continue to pick the wrong men to have kids with because they will face no consequences.

Radiant_Specific6542 · 2024-07-12T00:18:29+00:00

It's a societal issue, that doesn't mean they're going to be a cuck to fix someone else's problem. It's an unreasonable request.

alebruto · 2024-07-12T00:36:28+00:00

Rewarding bad behavior is the same as encouraging it.

If, even recognizing the risk of having to raise a child alone, many women neglect character and good personality when choosing a partner, it would be worse if this risk did not exist because of the abundance of good men wanting to be stepfathers.

In addition, it is unfair to potential stepfathers, who are also part of society. This would only place more burdens on those who carry society on their shoulders.

If a woman does not want to be a single mother, she has to choose better. Women have more power than men in choosing a sexual partner, so the solution to this is in her hands. My wife, for example, is not a single mother, and will only be if I die or if she wants to be.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2024-07-12T00:57:38+00:00

Fatherless household, creating criminals is not really a concern to them.

If single motherhood is such a societal problem, you wouldn’t want these boys to not have a father. You would be encouraging a responsible, good man to step up and raise them to not be criminals.

You're conflating a societal cost with individual costs.

For one INDIVIDUAL MAN, the cost of any one single mother producing criminals is relatively minor, especially since we have a justice system. Basically he pays some small additional taxes and insurance premiums due to the social cost.

BUT if he were to personally wife up said single mother, he'd bear a large PERSONAL cost - the responsibility for children whom are not his.

There is nothing inconsistent in TRP's position here. You can worry about a social cost WITHOUT necessarily being willing to bear the individual costs necessary to slightly mitigate it.

Oh, and keep in mind one thing: at least in jurisdictions where abortion within a reasonable gestational limit is available, every child whom is born is born only because of the choice of the mother. A lot of single mothers are single mothers by their own choice, not because of the man's choice.

Glarus30 · 2024-07-12T00:59:54+00:00

Reverse psychology tricking men into dating single moms and raising someone else's child. Nice try, OP 😆

bluestjuice · 2024-07-12T01:11:34+00:00

It’s excessive to expect individuals to date or marry certain people as evidence of their commitment to a particular social movement.

But they could definitely sign up to volunteer with Big Brothers Big Sisters or something.

LaPrimaVera · 2024-07-12T01:59:23+00:00

Forcing men to be step dads is in the same league as forcing women to have sex with incels.

Let people date who they want, not everyone wants to raise someone else's brat.

Werevulvi · 2024-07-12T11:20:21+00:00

Eh, this isn't random men's responsibility. It's either on the single mothers themselves if they decided to shut the father out of their lives, or it's on the father if he abandoned his child. Either way, these children are largely their parents' responsibility. Secondly they're the resonsibility of social services, the schools they go to, etc. But they're never the responsibility of random strangers who've likely never even met the kid. Other people's kids are not your problem, unless you're their school teacher, doctor, etc, but even then most of the responsibility is on the legan guardians of the kid in question.

So no, I really don't think men in general should have any pressure to be stepfathers. That doesn't make any sense at all. Single moms, and the detached fathers of their kids, need to act better for the sake of their kids. And if they can't, well then it's the social services' responsibility.

RinoaRita · 2024-07-12T01:56:14+00:00

It’s not dissimilar to people who are anti choice. They make all the assertions about how it’s about the kid but don’t back it up.

It’s less about them being against or for but more about just not dancing around behind bs reasons. If people are like I won’t date a single mom because I’m not interested in being always after their kids, fine. But don’t pretend because you actually care about the kid and how it’s bad.

Similarly, if you just mask off and say you want to make women suffer for breaking your no sexual before marriage rule instead of pretend you care about the kids, it would at least be honest.

Funny2U2 · 2024-07-12T04:24:02+00:00

Take one for the team, bro's! (while posting about it without any skin in the game)

BrainMarshal · 2024-07-12T00:47:23+00:00

*gets up after falling out of his chair laughing*

Uh, no. You can't force men to date people they don't want to date. What society should do is crack down on biological baby daddies that walk off.

"Hey asshole! Take care of your kids or else you’re gonna make worse fir the rest of us when your kids lash out by committing crimes!" is exactly the take we should have about this.

one_ball_policy · 2024-07-12T00:59:11+00:00

Come on now Lilith, wouldn’t this be like saying if one cares about poverty they should give away all of their money? Or if they care about the homeless they should give away their home?

There’s are so many other arguments you could have made. In unfortunately going to have to assign this an L take

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-07-12T07:16:44+00:00

No we should encourage men to not abandon their child. If you have a kid you should be in it's life even if you aren't together with his mother.

When it comes to society there are enough people who don't mind getting into a relationship with someone who has children. We don't need to encourage more people to step up.

KGmagic52 · 2024-07-12T12:29:43+00:00

Another post from a woman about how to be a real man.

Pathosgrim · 2024-07-12T13:25:23+00:00

Encouraging men to fix women's mistakes, eh? Gee, since the modern woman generally puts the average man in last place, how further down the totem pole will a single mother put an average man?

Men are getting more cynical as time goes on. Eventually, we will cease to do things out of kindness. Enjoy the decline, it's not like good personality ever matter to many men.

Feisty_Response_9401 · 2024-07-12T14:10:34+00:00

"If women were really scared about SA, they would not go outside"

marcopolo3112 · 2024-07-12T21:42:03+00:00

Or you know women could stop having kids with deadbeats. The kid ain’t at fault but I’m bit shacking up with a single mom who needs a meal ticket because she couldn’t pick a better guy the first time.

Why does this blatant misandrist keep being allowed to post shit

r2k398 · 2024-07-12T01:02:41+00:00

How about just good fathers instead? That would greatly reduce the need for stepfathers.

Gold_Supermarket1956 · 2024-07-12T01:26:32+00:00

No man wants to raise another man's kid... hence why alot of men want mandatory paternity testing

nightcall379 · 2024-07-12T07:32:45+00:00

Because children demand an incredible amount of work

Why should a man be punished for someone else's mistake?

Cablepussy · 2024-07-12T08:04:11+00:00

I see we saw that other single-mother post earlier today and got a little upset.

The feminist response to this would be: Make your own! E.G. fix it yourself.

But we're only feminist when it's convenient.

This sub wants to talk about tons of societal issues but women don't care unless it benefits them.

nnuunn · 2024-07-12T08:51:02+00:00

I'm sure a woman's heart just flutters out of her chest when a man tells her that he's dating her out of a begrudging social obligation to reduce the odds that her children will be criminals.

jay10033 · 2024-07-12T10:50:15+00:00

An easier solution is a condom, abortion, the hundreds of forms of birth control, or keeping your legs closed.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2024-07-12T17:56:15+00:00

That's like asking another man to get conscripted to trenches in your place while you gtfo to chill somewhere else.

voltran1987 · 2024-07-12T01:23:12+00:00

Because men aren’t bank accounts and free labor to clean up after other people bad decisions.

We have a problem with overweight incels. If society really cared, women would be with them to cook healthy and have sex with them…

I know, you’re going to tell me that’s super duper different. You people who are so obsessed with trying to make the opposite gender look bad can never see that your constant blanket statements are usually the exact thing you rail against. You just make things up about other people to justify your own prejudices.

Swimming_Policy3629 · 2024-07-12T02:54:22+00:00

That's why a single mom is bad to men, she chose to reproduce with someone else so it isn't evolutionarily beneficial because he won't get to pass on his genes

SaBahRub · 2024-07-12T04:19:51+00:00

Most men are in it for themselves, not society. Especially red pill

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2024-07-12T00:44:15+00:00

But a lot of men don’t care about single moms. They’ve made that abundantly clear.

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Careful_Medium9456 · 2024-07-12T01:02:00+00:00

The men who become step fathers are the men who women don’t safe before they became single mothers.

A_real_keeper_LOL · 2024-07-12T01:11:12+00:00

You can only convince a small % of people to do charity work.

FromAuntToNiece · 2024-07-12T01:37:46+00:00

You would be encouraging a responsible, good man to step up and raise them to not be criminals.

There aren't as many not-so-senior widows today, simply because less men are dying in war.

I would say that one possible exception where it might make sense could be childless ND men being OK with pairing up with single moms with increasing numbers of ND children. It's not so much about raising them to not be run-of-the-mill criminals, but raising them to not be incels or go down the alt-right pipeline.

A few months ago, I saw a D040 thread on a single mom with an autistic child.

Personally, even though one former co-worker of mine may still be married, she has a son with autism. If she were to get divorced, then I wouldn't mind "settling" for someone like her, but someone like her would have to be very understanding of my lack of relationship experience and my selfish interpersonal tendencies.

As for all the other single moms, the ones with NT children? Even though I have already dated one (and am thus OK with dating them), they're further down my wishlist.

Tailorblackcuscus · 2024-07-12T02:29:16+00:00

In my opinion, men who should pay child support of the severest kind should be those who willfully deny their parental responsibilities towards the children they produce out of wedlock. Divorced men should never pay child support because they love their children and will still support them no matter what. When baby daddies are severely punished by the law for their carelessness, it creates a social deterrent to such abbarent behavior in young men.

But let's be real. Single motherhood is mostly the man's fault and not the woman. Why? Because conception starts in the nuts and ends in the womb. Therefore, since it is a man who starts the whole process, it is his responsibility to see it through. However, women must also bear some of the responsibility regarding their lack of personal safety in preventing themselves from putting themselves in such a difficult situation in the first place.

So even though it takes two to tango, the buck stops with the man because his decision to act starts the whole process. The woman is just a facilitator.

Now, regarding a single mother needing a man to step up, understand that the rules of the sexual marketplace respect no one. You will still need to put in work and compete with women who have no children. In fact, you will have to put in a lot more effort if you want to attract a single childless man. For the majority of guys, a woman with a child is a hard sell because they will settle for choosing a single mother instead of a childless woman who can bear his own children from the start. In the end, it depends on the man. It may be difficult but not impossible.

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-07-12T02:35:18+00:00

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EmergencyLab10 · 2024-07-12T03:49:54+00:00

Any time I see someone complain about single moms, I'm so confused. I chose not to have children but once you're over 30, it's incredibly rare to meet someone who doesn't have at least one child. Where are all these childless adults who refuse to date parents? Everyone I meet is a parent. And if I do meet a man who doesn't have a child, I almost immediately see why no one ever wanted to procreate with him.

philseven12 · 2024-07-12T05:29:13+00:00

Man f that, most single mothers don't respect the dude that come in after the fact and try to clean up the situation.

I don't got smoke for single moms but on the real they see most dudes as a lick if he willing to play good guy role

These single moms still be fucking on they baby daddy on the backend. New dude come into the situation and get challenged by the baby daddy who got nothing to lose

All the losses and baggage she has with the baby daddy gets transferred onto the new guy cuz she can't check or control the baby daddy, otherwise he'd still be in the household.

Not once have I ever preached how society needs to be or blame single moms for the fall of society in reddit BUT, getting involved with a single mother is dangerous.

Not in every case, but many.

Upset_Material_3372 · 2024-07-12T06:26:50+00:00

It’s very simple, single moms get a bad rap because they could have chosen to partner with whoever they wanted, a guy who would easily have stayed for example, yet still chose the wrong guy (and it was obvious).

Junior_Ad_3086 · 2024-07-12T07:14:08+00:00

of course it's up to men to sacrifice and humiliate themselves for the greater good of society. meanwhile women do whatever they want because girl power and all that, right?

i'm all for shaming deadbeat dads but let's not pretend that it's the sole or even main reason for the single mother epidemic. and women (rightfully) laugh at the idea of dating somebody 'for the greater good'.

TheIncredibleHarry · 2024-07-12T07:14:17+00:00

No the real answer is for MEN AND WOMEN TO STOP SMASHING AND HAVING BABIES WITH PEOPLE TGAT ARE NOT INTENDED!!! It’s that simple because humans are lustful and hypocritical as well.

SsRapier · 2024-07-12T09:33:16+00:00

If women cared about being single moms they would not put out for Chad with 3 baby mamas but they do, so you can just abort the little fellas

BDaily24 · 2024-07-12T00:23:02+00:00

OP it is an issue but those men aren’t really concerned about society, they’re concerned with a lack of attractive women available after they’ve whored around. They’d be ragging on men for being deadbeats if they actually gave af.

It’s way easier for men to have a bunch of kids than it is for women and those men are the true threats to society. Women have a real cap and timeline on how many kids she can litter the world with.

NewPomegranate2898 · 2024-07-12T01:43:31+00:00

So we’re just skimming off the part about accountability that women need to take for birthing said child while knowing full well what their baby’s father intends on doing, right?

Because women are not capable of taking responsibility and accountability for their decision to raise a child. They simply wake up one day to find the baby in their arms, then the gap of the father is a big issue. But when it’s cooking for 9 months, it’s not at all thought about that maybe a father won’t be there for the child if he’s not there for the pregnancy.right

YveisGrey · 2024-07-12T03:04:03+00:00

Well, the whole thing about single moms is based off of a misunderstanding anyways, the fact is single moms are not a problem single men are. And where there are single moms there are lots of single men. The two go hand in hand. This is usually when you’ll see crime.

The other negative affects effects like bad grades and behavioral issues in boys is more for divorce but when most people talk about single moms and crime. They aren’t talking about that.

just_a_place · 2024-07-12T07:54:01+00:00

How about, instead of bitching at men to fix women's problems - like always - we instead start holding women more accountable for the shit that they freely choose to do? Women are supposed to be adults, aren't they?

Good luck convincing men to be that idiot that comes a' simpin' like a good little white knight cucktard ready to take the fall, and bail women out of taking responsibility for their shitty choices.

I have a better idea: How about women keep their legs closed rather than choosing to spawn the seed of literal fucking criminals? Just a thought... Perhaps Chad and Ray Ray won't make Father of The Year. Perhaps it is not a good idea to have kids with these fucking losers.

John_Oakman · 2024-07-12T00:27:28+00:00

Because that's still punishing single mothers by encouraging undesirable provider type males to pursue yet another form of ulterior motives, framing said single mothers as a social legitimacy objects instead of a sex objects.

This also dignifies & encourages precisely the types of "nice guys" that modern culture/society has tried so hard to eradicate.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-07-12T00:57:47+00:00

Let me get this straight. You think a viable solution is that a man enter into a specific type of relationship where he:

is the lowest priority
has a fairly significant chance of being psychologically damaged (from the mistreatment/being used and abused or if the woman goes and cheats on him with the original man she had the kid(s) with)

In my opinion, good men marrying shitty single mothers will actually contribute to the problem by potentially making a bitter and resentful man that will go on to contribute to the single mother problem by pumping and dumping.

Far-Entrepreneur6368 · 2024-07-12T01:02:04+00:00

Dumb. The reason single moms are rejected is because they picked Chad in their prime.

Inb4 "widows". The anomalies dont change the statistics.

DumbWordsmith · 2024-07-12T02:29:56+00:00

Nope. That creates an even bigger moral hazard.

To truly address an issue, you have to go as far upstream as possible. You're proposing a downstream solution. It's what politicians often do to appease their base. The problem never goes away — and then those politicians may come back later with more downstream solutions to the problems that they worsened with their previous "solutions."

Half of single moms haven't been married.

Most of these women don't even bother obtaining commitment before they risk bringing an innocent life into the world.

Our culture is all about instant gratification and feel-good bullshit. That's the real problem. Not enough people take this shit seriously until they're begging to be bailed out by people with foresight and common sense.

EveningSuggestion283 · 2024-07-12T06:36:42+00:00

Eh- I’m a single mom, and I don’t collect a penny from the system. Nor do I get child support. . I don’t sell myself for money either. I am not sniffing up a man’s ass to pay my bills. So I always twitch a little when they say single moms strain the system and collect welfare. Uhhh excuse me- where is it? And can I have a dollar ? Jk. Often times when I’ve tried to apply for benefits I get rejected so I gave up a long time ago and just accepted my responsibility .

I think that often times people quote vague statistics that isn’t really the case for a majority of modern single mothers- who actually give a fluff about their kids.

I wouldn’t say we should make men step fathers. . But they could create youth camps or volunteer to become big brothers to be a positive guide for them. . Not that BS “hey young fella, listen to your mother” 😂😮‍💨

SwoleAustralian · 2024-07-12T01:20:05+00:00

Why would you ever encourage men to be a step father? That sounds like a fate worse than most having to raise someone else's kids.

You're really on it with the whole single mothers topic today ain't you?

pinkScott_ · 2024-07-12T02:55:47+00:00

Oh well, it’s LillthOfBabylon lol

TapZealousideal5974 · 2024-07-12T01:58:08+00:00

Just literally go back to the old status quo, which was that men were obliged to be more responsible, but men also had the power and authority (in this case, over their children - after they turned around 6-8 years old, because we aren't heartless jerks and yet, He who pays the piper calls the tune). It's logical, it makes sense, and it's just. It's traditional,. Which is why it won't happen.

Even though these days, we can use paternity testing to match everyone up and prove paternity, which should make this policy even more feasible.

Title	If men actually cared about single moms as a “societal issue”, they would be encouraging men to be stepfathers.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	331
Date	July 12, 2024 12:11 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1e13sv5/if_men_actually_cared_about_single_moms_as_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-men-actually-cared-about-single-moms-as-a.1524011 https://theredarchive.com/post/1524011

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