Feminists fearing and resenting men they never met is called sexism (II)

bruhholyshiet · 2024-12-18T15:57:48+00:00

I don't mind women being cautious and careful with stranger men, I know it's simply self preservation and not a spiteful "fuck you" to men in general. It's a sad and regrettable reality but well... It's reality.

We ourselves as men are wary of stranger men, I know I become slightly on guard when I'm walking alone at night and a group of somewhat loudmouthed dudes is walking in my direction. In fact, I'd even say dangerous men are more likely to physically attack fellow men, just as they are more likely to sexually attack women.

My only problem is when the very understandable and sympathetic caution from women devolves into spiteful bullying either online or in feminist marches. "Men are trash", "not all men but always a man", "bear vs man I'm choosing the bear" and a lovely particular statement from my country during some feminist marches a few years ago: "machete towards the macho, kill your boyfriend, brother and father". A couple of women who abused, raped and murdered the five year old son of one of them, were known to attend those marches.

Caution and wariness is a logical response. Spiteful bullying is just being an asshole, I don't care how you want to rationalize it (like for example the "it's just punching up because men are oppressors and women are oppressed" excuse).

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2024-12-18T15:31:47+00:00

A lot of this is cultural/locational. where I'm from people leave their doors open all day. People leave their kids to be watched by strangers with no second thought. I can go out at night alone just fine. Even when alone with men I feel protected not fearful, actually massively prefer the company over my female counterparts too but that's probably jus how I was raised. Wasn't uncommon for random guys to offer me a ride home a few years ago and it was always pleasant, everyone around here knows each other too.

A lot of people on this subreddit are from cities in the US, they probably do have a pretty valid reason to practice precaution.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2024-12-18T15:36:58+00:00

I don't walk around ready to pepper spray every man on the street because I think all of them are out to get me, but I do have pepper spray because I have experienced threatening behaviour from several men in the past. Better to be safe than sorry.

If some random srrangers are offended by that, oh well.

duncan-the-wonderdog · 2024-12-18T13:46:11+00:00

I don't fear my neighbors, but I still lock my doors.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-12-18T13:55:57+00:00

I think it is pretty normal to be wary and fear someone who is far bigger than you, stronger than you and can easily over power you when you don't know them

LillthOfBabylon · 2024-12-18T13:45:11+00:00

So just like the guys here towards women they never met over him not being able to get his dick wet, due to ONE bad experience, and/or because of his bad taste in women.

I have literally seen a couple of guys justify being assholes to women just because of the mere existence of some women being terrible people.

Who knew being a paranoid, bitter asshole towards 50% of the population makes one a sexist?

EulenWatcher · 2024-12-18T14:22:30+00:00

A big off topic, but do you think that men having negative bias and bitterness towards women, because some women rejected them or mistreated them, are sexist?

I think a woman or a man having a grudge against whole other gender as a group are clearly negatively biased and most likely sexist.

Having said that viewing men as potentially more dangerous and taking precautions makes sense imv. There’s a difference between fearing all men and taking no precautions when it’s needed.

SomeSugondeseGuy · 2024-12-18T16:08:29+00:00

Women do not fear men because of sexism. Well, some do, but they're the minority.

Women are cautionary around men because men are larger, stronger, and faster than them. Most women accept that most men aren't evil, or dangerous, or anything. If you believe otherwise, you need to get off the internet. The overwhelming majority of men are simply people, like the rest of us - who would walk past you on the street and perhaps you'd exchange a glance, but nothing more.

However, bad men exist, and if a woman is alone with a man, there's not much she could do if that man happened to be one of the bad ones.

If you lived in a world with 4 billion giants who were stronger than you, faster than you, and they are this way because of a chemical that has been described by most media as making these 4 billion giants uncontrollably angry and horny, all the time? You'd be cautious too.

It's more "stranger danger" than anything. Car drivers should not be offended when motorcyclists choose to wear helmets.

But to give you some slack, they should say that - say "stranger danger", instead of "I would literally rather encounter an actual apex predator than encounter someone who looks like you" - it's a much less destructive way to go about it.

Additionally, car drivers as a whole are never blamed when something terrible happens to a motorcyclist, so admittedly the analogy from earlier is not a perfect one.

Fair-Bus-4017 · 2024-12-18T15:20:39+00:00

Is it discrimination? Yes. Is it bad no. If this is how they became weary about men then it is logical. That being said they should probably try to fix it with therapy. Because although not problematic it definitely won't benefit their lives.

_weedkiller_ · 2024-12-18T14:40:35+00:00

I think you are quoting me there, possibly not but we had a similar exchange which you can still reply to.

I pointed out to you that it’s absolutely natural to fear something that has harmed you in the past. It’s basic survival instinct.

I also commented that I have tried very hard to challenge my fear/bias against men, by joining groups with men in them, trying to sit with the alarm signals my body was naturally sending (to keep me safe) and I discussed this process in therapy. The response was that I was harassed by some of the men I tried interacting with. Meanwhile you don’t even seem to acknowledge the existence of your bias.

I don’t understand what your reasoning is here. It’s a very basic principle of survival to avoid things that have harmed you in the past.

If you want to get angry at anyone over this take it up with the guys who scare women. They are the ones ruining it for the harmless men.

ThatBitchA · 2024-12-18T14:59:30+00:00

No, it's called caution. Like a seat belt in a moving vehicle. Or locking your doors at night.

It's about "stranger danger".

Plus, if women don't know you, why are you upset they are acting cautiously?

Gravel_Roads · 2024-12-18T14:01:25+00:00

Yep. AMALT and AWALT are both sexist. Assuming something negative about someone based on their demographic is called "being prejudiced" and it sours interpersonal relationships for people who use it.

Dull_Window_5038 · 2024-12-18T15:25:28+00:00

Men have a monoploy on all the violence in the world. Regardless of race. Its always the men doing the majority of all the worst shit

JonMyMon · 2024-12-18T17:24:01+00:00

Fear can absolutely be prejudice and I wish more people would be able to connect these logical dots.

LoopyPro · 2024-12-19T01:18:50+00:00

Just saying that if the same bigotry would be applied to a person's race or ethnicity, nobody would even doubt to call it racism.

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Commercial-Engineer3 · 2024-12-18T19:41:34+00:00

i agree

wtknight · 2024-12-18T20:55:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Werevulvi · 2024-12-19T02:54:23+00:00

Fear doesn't have to lead to prejudice. I did use to fear men for a fairly short time, maybe a few years, after a particularly bad series of trauma hitting extra hard, and shortly before my recovery. I did not hate men or treat them badly during that time. I simply felt a need to avoid interacting excessively with men I didn't trust, and took a break from dating men. That's it. No lashing out or treating men like a monolith. No loading my personal issues onto them. Taking personal responsibility over my own mental health issues and boundaries. Because I could understand on an intellectual level that my fears were irrational.

That is however kinda the problem with feminists who hate and fear men: they often claim that this is indeed a rational reaction, simply because trauma from male violence is fairly common among women. For some reason they then treat that as the default state of womanhood. I mean this is probably just a bad mix of collectivism and victim mentality. It kinda just ends up sprinkled with some "original sin." And of course it's just an excuse for them to be vile against men who've done nothing to them, and to avoid taking responsibility for one's own mental health. Because god forbid they'd treat their trauma and stop projecting their personal issues on all women and their personal experiences with bad men on all men.

Fyi I no longer fear men because I did work through that, but I'm still a bit extra cautious around specific men who for whatever reason give me bad vibes, which is far from most men. Maybe 10% at most. And I think that's reasonable. Trusting one's instinct is generally a good thing, but there's an important difference between genuine instinct and PTSD triggers.

DetectiveSwimming335 · 2024-12-19T04:42:17+00:00

How many do you have to meet to draw conclusions about a pattern? 500?

00hiding_user00 · 2024-12-19T05:02:27+00:00

this reminds me of a broader point: "isms" and "phobias", while inherently discriminatory beliefs, aren't necessarily unjustifiable. just because it's definitionally sexist to treat men differently, doesn't mean you can't be justified in your fear of men. it's all about the probabilities of something wrong happening

Snekky3 · 2024-12-19T11:59:04+00:00

Women everywhere fear strange men. They always have and they always will. It has nothing to do with feminism.

Patriarchal cultures will straight up tell women that men can’t help but want to rape them. And if it happens, the women is a whore that has brought shame upon the family. These women live in fear of men.

Quinfie · 2024-12-19T15:22:25+00:00

No sane individual would resent someone for their identity group. This just doesn't happen irl, maybe it's normal on American online platforms? I don't see this rare behavior often, similar to actual racism.

InterestingDiamond35 · 2024-12-19T15:48:55+00:00

The greatest example of female privilege is that they can just be openly sexist

TheBrizey2 · 2024-12-19T23:31:08+00:00

I think the term you’re seeking is ‘misandry’

chocobolamo · 2024-12-21T15:28:10+00:00

Women are already fearful of men. Your appearance dictates peoples perception of you. Male + undesireable is major ick. Every one of your behaviors will have this idea that you are a creep projected onto you. When you become chad, like I did, women go from ew disgusting creep get the fuck away from me to fuck me daddy energy. They go from not wanting to even be near your presence to going out of their way to touch your muscles, flirt with you when its inappropriate, do everything they can think of to signal to you that they want you.

mashedturnip · 2024-12-18T21:03:41+00:00

Why only feminists ? How about trad women? They also see men as dangerous and untrustworthy

Fine_Video7691 · 2024-12-18T21:29:19+00:00

Another day in "PurplePillDebate" err..BluePillHugbox

remaininyourcompound · 2024-12-19T01:44:12+00:00

And yet, somehow, women are expected to magically know which men are the "bad ones" and blamed for choosing them when they are abused... Can't win.

fiftypoundpuppy · 2024-12-19T04:39:55+00:00

AWALT deserves AMALT, does it not?

Otjahe · 2024-12-18T16:56:44+00:00

If violence is from 90%+ done by men, as well as towards women. It would be completely rational for some of them (if they choose) to keep that in mind when navigating through the world. That’s not sexism per say, it’s just being based in reality. As a man I also take steps to help reduce that fear.

You could use those very real statistics to flat out discriminate others and such, but not necessarily.

Humans are pattern seekers by nature. And that’s one of the reason why we even exist.

alwaysright0 · 2024-12-18T16:07:16+00:00

It's human nature to group people by sex /race/insert other characteristics.

It's human nature to be wary of difference.

It's human nature to be wary of things that have hurt you.

You yourself are clearly sexist by your own definition.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2024-12-18T16:07:40+00:00

Resenting people you never met can mean resenting a man who you read about who does something shitty to another woman. I have never met Andrew Tate but I hate the fuck out of him. That’s not sexism.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2024-12-18T13:57:02+00:00

Stop making apples to oranges comparisons. They aren't helpful. We can argue about whether a certain groups beliefs are valid, but best on its own terms without false analogies.

Yeah, the Man vs. Bear stuff was a bit nuts. I get it.

Clementinequeen95 · 2024-12-18T18:01:43+00:00

I think this can be difficult for men to understand since don’t have the prey aspect that women have. We’re cautious because it’s a safety issue. And for most women, there have been occasions where a man has shown us to be unsafe. Even my own dad and uncles taught me to be careful with men. Statistically, men can be dangerous to women. Notice I don’t say all men- because it isn’t all men. But some men unfortunately have ruined things for all men. And as a result, women act cautious. Idk why you expect women to just welcome everyone with open arms including complete strangers?

Dry-Ad3452 · 2024-12-18T18:28:45+00:00

I never met Osama bin Laden. I still feared him.

doggiedoc2004 · 2024-12-18T19:14:09+00:00

I don’t think it’s sexism to understand and internalize (or have experienced) that the vast majority of crimes committed against us are perpetrated by men. The natural result of this in some cases is that we might have a general fear or caution around men.

If you have a daughter, is it sexist to teach her to be wary of men??? What kind of father would NOT instill a hefty caution of male individuals in their daughters?

wtknight · 2024-12-18T21:04:07+00:00

Who cares? If I fear being pickpocketed or robbed when I visit a poor country is it classism? Am I wrong to want to protect myself? Quit equating -isms to the idea of just being cautious. They are not the same thing.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-12-19T01:27:54+00:00

why are you all pretending you give a shit about lefto-feminist shibboleths

SulSulSimmer101 · 2024-12-18T15:47:09+00:00

And? Who cares?

Fearing or resentment as long as it doesn't affect you and they stay away from men does not affect your life.

Clean-Luck6428 · 2024-12-18T16:21:56+00:00

For many it’s literally just a post traumatic response

But for some, they want the option of being able to assume a stranger is a threat so that they don’t have to feel bad if they happen to exhibit anti-social behavior toward them or are rude to him because of a “vibe.”

leosandlattes · 2024-12-18T16:46:16+00:00

I do not think sexism is “bad,” but then again, red pill is inherently sexist against both men and women, and I have no problems believing that, so…

Fearing men is fine in my opinion, they are bigger and stronger and in general it’s good for people to have strong danger sense.

I also think there is a difference between resenting men/women as a whole faceless group, but not resenting the individual men and women you meet, even strangers.

I know some men that resent female nature and thus do not want to get married, however they interact with strangers just fine.

Treating strangers poorly because of past interactions with men is not ok.

Title	Feminists fearing and resenting men they never met is called sexism (II)
Author	griii2
Upvotes	127
Comments	307
Date	December 18, 2024 1:41 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1hh1tpw/feminists_fearing_and_resenting_men_they_never/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/feminists-fearing-and-resenting-men-they-never-met.1538867 https://theredarchive.com/post/1538867

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