Unless its family, youre not getting unconditional love.

OkSun6251 · 2025-02-09T14:16:03+00:00

Of course, romantic love isn’t about unconditional love. Like if you are abusive or a cheater, your spouse has every right to leave you. I guess maybe she still has some love for you, but I wouldn’t say it’s totally unconditional. It was never supposed to be unconditional. IMO the closest you get to unconditional love is the love of a mother. So I agree. Maybe people are conflating commitment with unconditional?

Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-02-09T14:38:22+00:00

Family love is conditional, when it even exists

GhostXmasPast342 · 2025-02-09T15:04:53+00:00

Even family will ditch you. There is absolutely zero unconditional love in my family. Zero

BearSpray007 · 2025-02-09T18:51:10+00:00

I ALMOST agree with you but there’s a lot of unnecessary bullshit and personal bias you’ve thrown on top, Just to ruffle some feathers I gather. You’re very good at it by the way…ruffling feathers.

I feel like modern men yearn for this for the same reasons a broken fatherless women yearns for a father figure in the men she dates. I feel like this is a blind spot for RP guys. We can clearly identify this behavior as toxic, as it is not a potential boyfriend’s responsibility to be a father figure to his girlfriend/wife.

Likewise it is not a woman’s responsibility to provide unconditional love for her bf/husband. Mothers provide unconditional love, family provides unconditional love, but non-familial relationships will ALWAYS exist under specific conditions.

I think a man that feels insecure, and fears he is not good enough to EARN the relationship/loyalty will yearn for unconditional love instead.

AlleGood · 2025-02-09T14:34:33+00:00

I'm having trouble understanding what your main point is exactly? Are you arguing that unconditional love does not exist or that men use the term wrongly when actually speaking about shallow or toxic relationships?

Unconditional is certainly a heavily loaded term, it's fair to say there's limits to how you can act and still be loved. But for me unconditional love means that you could be loved as a unique individual, flaws and all, instead of only being worthy of love once you meet a certain quantifiable standard.

ATasteofTx214 · 2025-02-09T23:10:43+00:00

Attractive assholes dont have to do alot to convince shallow/dysfunctional women to fuck him. They get ‘unconditional love’ for ‘just being who they are’

...and the attractive asshole is typically an ex-boyfriend, so obviously, there were conditions there as well. Unless guys hold the belief that women initiate most divorces but magically somehow it's Chad that does all the dumping n dating and relationships, which makes zero sense

AutoModerator · 2025-02-09T14:04:26+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

paepdead · 2025-02-09T19:03:23+00:00

Rehashing the material again

attendquoi · 2025-02-09T15:49:44+00:00

Family love is also conditional.

BonesAndStuff01 · 2025-02-09T15:07:20+00:00

It does kind of suck having to put in effort when women don’t , most guys real just need to stop trying to be jesters and enjoy life single. Women clown hard for guys they actually want .

Proudvow · 2025-02-09T14:16:41+00:00

It's getting very old hearing women accuse men of laziness when most of ya'll do jack shit in the initial dating phases.

TraditionalPen2076 · 2025-02-09T14:13:44+00:00

I wanted to engage but I saw the username so nah.

AutoModerator · 2025-02-09T14:04:27+00:00

Hi OP,

You've chosen to identify your thread as a Debate. As such you are expected to actively engage in your own thread with a mind open to being changed. PPD has guidelines for what that involves.

OPs author must genuinely hold the position and you must be open to having your view challenged.

An unwillingness to debate in good faith may be inferred from one or several of the following:

Ignoring the main point of a comment, especially to point out some minor inconsistency;

Refusing to make concessions that an alternate view has merit;

Focusing only on the weaker arguments;

Only having discussions with users who agree with your position.

Failure to keep to this higher standard (we only apply to Debate OPs) may result in deletion of the whole thread.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Eater0fChildren · 2025-02-09T15:12:54+00:00

It's still conditional, the "condition" with family is the genetic link. The only reason a parent will say that they have "unconditional love" for a child is because it is theirs, they created it and invested in it themselves. This counts as a condition.

I think what a lot of people mean by "unconditional love" is "really really strong love". Everything in the world is conditional.

growframe · 2025-02-09T15:38:53+00:00

Unconditional love doesn't exist with families either. It's just a difference of how far the conditions stretch.

That said, it's all about give and take. Obviously love and relationships take work and effort, but I think it's perfectly reasonable for someone to be miffed if they're constantly putting in the bulk of that effort, and feel like every bit of love is transactionally earned.

strawman83 · 2025-02-09T15:47:20+00:00

This is the reality that most men are painfully slowly waking up to. I don’t think you fully comprehend that you have just laid out a redpill fundamental - she can’t love you like you want her to

FrameWorried8852 · 2025-02-09T16:17:32+00:00

Unconditional love is just not a good strategy all around

catdog8020 · 2025-02-09T16:26:08+00:00

Even if it’s family lol 😂

Professional-Yam601 · 2025-02-09T17:40:39+00:00

Romantic relationships aren’t unconditional, but that doesn’t mean love isn’t. You can definitely break up with someone because they are horrible to you in the relationship and still love them - like wish the best for them and care about them.

But obviously there are conditions and boundaries to a relationship, that’s with any kind of relationship.

Hi-Road · 2025-02-09T17:57:15+00:00

"Unconditional love" is about as useful for defining something as any other buzzword term now. What exactly does unconditional love mean to you? Because I'm sure not everyone in here has the same definition in mind.

Unlimited patience? Unlimited forgiveness? Endless catering? Acceptance of any of all flaws?

Many people can do all that and more for their partner. But it seems a lot of people here see their partner as less of a teammate and more of an opportunity. If you can't - or don't want to - that's fine too. It's between you and your partner. But it seems like you're painting over other people's experiences with your own views

Siukslinis_acc · 2025-02-09T18:15:10+00:00

You can love someone even if you don't want to interact ever again.

Had a friend who hurt me to such level that I had to choose between them and my own health. Thing is, I still feel a sort of a deep love/care for them and whish them the best and would feel joy if I found out that they are doing better, even though I don't want to interact with them ever again.

TheLonerCoder · 2025-02-09T19:09:25+00:00

I think most social interactions are conditional, whether they're friendships, family, lovers, etc. The only rarely exception are those people who get really attached to people and are loyal because of it.

Desperate_Suspect520 · 2025-02-09T20:31:53+00:00

Nothing is unconditional. With family, how many people leave upon realizing that the child they've been raising is not biologically theirs?

that biology bond was the condition.

How many of them grow up with the social condition that parents are expected to care, love and provide for their children? the social conditioning is one of the many condition.

What about the feeling I get from providing and loving you as a parent? I feel fulfilled, proud and excellent. That feeling I get is the condition.

ArtifactFan65 · 2025-02-09T21:27:29+00:00

Family doesn't love unconditionally.

classicslayer · 2025-02-09T22:19:54+00:00

Family doesn't even love unconditionally

Kreeps_United · 2025-02-10T00:01:58+00:00

And I doubt they believe in unconditional love, conflating it with “Im so desperate for pussy, that I’ll take any woman”. This is definitely another reason so many guys are ‘lonely’. Having these high expectations on love will do them no good.

???

Disastrous-Chart-928 · 2025-02-10T10:49:05+00:00

I don't think marriage statistics reflect the dating world for us younger people at all, even considering socioeconomic factors things are intensely different compared to when it was for the average man who is literally almost 40 in the US.

That being said I unconditionally love my partner, I gave up everything to be with him and I'd do it again.

Main_Following1881 · 2025-02-10T10:57:33+00:00

Lilith of babylon once again with another trash take, obv unconditional love is not real everyone knows that lol. Guys complaining about having to make an effort is normal everyone complains, i mean think about it how many fat people complain about how hard losing weight is or university students complaining about studying.

and looks only matter if you want to have no effort sex with good looking women

Obvious_Smoke3633 · 2025-02-10T13:18:50+00:00

The only beings on earth that deserve unconditional love are babies and baby animals. Even dogs that bite that have to get put down sometimes. It's just a fact of life.

DapperDan1929 · 2025-02-10T20:35:20+00:00

Yeah. The 180 exists. Not worth the gamble for me.

ambrosedc · 2025-02-13T01:04:23+00:00

Oh look yet A-NOTHER fucking strawman fallacy from you

Legitimate_Onion1107 · 2025-02-13T14:37:28+00:00

I have had that same argument with an ex girlfriend years ago. She thought even though she was abusive and a cheater that there should be unconditional love no matter what she's lying about or what she has done. Unconditional love is the love that a parent has for there kids. Not a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband and wife

CuckCake321 · 2025-02-09T15:03:52+00:00

You have to keep that same energy when it comes to other conditional things. Protection can be conditional. Loyalty can be conditional. Providing can be conditional. A lot of things men provide women that they take for granted can also be conditional.

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2025-02-09T14:54:28+00:00

Nobody should love totally unconditionally. If my husband abused me, or if he refused to pull his own weight in the relationship ( like if he refused to work or do chores or whatever), I would stop loving him.

My love for my children is different because I am responsible for them, but if they, say, became drug addicts who stole from me, eventually I would cut them off.

Meanwhile, I see guys on this sub saying that women deserve to be cheated on if they gain weight.

Nidken · 2025-02-09T16:58:05+00:00

Theres a famous Chris Rock bit about this. Unconditional love is reserved for only women and children (and dogs). Thats why men love their mums and their dogs.

ThatBitchA · 2025-02-09T17:35:58+00:00

I'd even say that not even family is unconditional love.

If you want unconditional love get a pet.

Or better yet, have unconditional love for yourself.

Stop expecting women to be the answer to all your problems. It's weird.

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2025-02-09T18:38:24+00:00

There's no such thing as a woman sticking around once you've lost your job If they stick around it's because of a golden penis. You can have James bond looks for a 50+% reduced risk of her leaving. There's no such thing as unconditional love the way men define what they desire.

That's the tough truth we men spend a lot of time trying to accept.

EetinAintCheetin · 2025-02-09T20:55:47+00:00

These same guys who cry that nobody loves them then go home and love themselves in front of their computers all night.

woodclip · 2025-02-09T21:02:44+00:00

Unhealthy morbidly obese man gets married. If he can get a woman, so can most men.

That's like saying "poor man won a lottery and become a multi-millionaire. If he can become a multi-millionaire so can most other poor men".

Unless you are the hunchback of Notre Dame, stop using looks as an excuse.

A man doesn't need to look like the hunchback of Notre Dame to be considered unattractive. Missing women's looks threshold by a single point is enough.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-02-09T23:24:34+00:00

Correct, romantic and friendship love is never unconditional, only family love. I don’t know where some men get the idea that women receive unconditional love from their husbands, when we absolutely do not. The conditions just tend to be slightly different. If she stops wanting or being able to have sex, it’ll usually be over a lot faster than if he does anything to put her off.

KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-02-09T15:23:17+00:00

Funny you presented this issue in such a one-sided way becouse literally the only people I heard craving "unconditional love" are women. Most men are very much aware that love is 100% conditional.

giveuporfindaway · 2025-02-09T21:47:30+00:00

Men do give unconditional love. There is no fairy tale of women saving men in distress. But the world is full of stories about a damsel in distress. It's seen as heroic for men to date someone with a disability and be the rock for that person. We're suppose to die on that horse for you.

But then again men are also born to go to war. We're asked to kill ourselves for unconditional results. This is something that women are incapable of relating to.

This is why that secret service agent who was supposed to take a bullet for Trump hid behind him. It was her instinct to not sacrifice herself for someone else, especially not a man.

weenieandthebutt · 2025-02-09T15:25:06+00:00

No one is vouching for unconditional love. Most people are not that deluded. It's more the genuine/visceral desire that a lot of guys want and not one that feels transactional (especially if she's given it up easy to past guys). If I'm with someone and I really care about them, I'm willing to spoil them and make all sorts of effort. Otherwise, I don't like the idea of buying or winning someone's affection by being their dancing monkey. That's the key difference.

Yes there plenty of unconventional attractive people who get into relationships but let's be real that a huge chunk of them either lack of mutual passion for each other or they're compromising heavily.

hearyoume14 · 2025-02-09T15:51:59+00:00

I don’t believe unconditional love exists. Love is always conditional for me. Relationships are transactional to some extent with well functioning ones having a nice give and take that is harder to see.

just_a_place · 2025-02-09T16:49:12+00:00

Let me clarify.

The "unconditional love" thing is just a fact of life. As men we learn since we're boys that such a thing does not and will not exist for us once we become Men. It's just a fact! And if you're religious/christian you will know only God loves unconditionally, humans are just not capable of it in the strictest sense.

Unconditional love is something that we as men give or offer, to women and children of course and to the best of our ability. It's something that radiates from us, not something we expect to absorb into ourselves.

So what do men desire and expect in return for our love? We expect and require Trust and Respect from that woman whom we've decided to commit ourselves to. It's that simple yet that hard.

Modern women are incapable of giving us either. And the Red Pill sounds the alarm that we are indeed idiots for expecting such intangible things for a very tangible and measurable commitment in our part such as our time, effort, and resources.

Mental-Outside2202 · 2025-02-09T17:16:40+00:00

This post is a disappointment. There's hardly any misandry in it, if your not making PPD women look terrible, then why are you even here? you have lost your gist. Take a good, hard look at your previous threads and come back with something of substance because now you come of as reasonable.

SovereignFemmeFudge · 2025-02-09T18:06:01+00:00

Men are 624% more likely to abandon wives who have a terminal illness. Just GROSS.

berichorbeburied · 2025-02-09T15:18:59+00:00

I actually do (pending) want real/true love (as close to unconditional love as possible)

The thing is

I’ve actually been able to show that love before

So I know it’s a choice

And most people don’t choose that choice

For whatever reason

And no I don’t conflate it with sex

I separate the two

I just know no women will show me the love I want unless I try to have sex or a relationship

And even if they could (which is almost impossible based on empirical first hand evidence and what they say to me irl) once they get a boyfriend or fling or ect it will be taken away from me

And the men who are willing to show that 9/10 are homosexual

Or they are trying to use you and manipulate you or you are useful or valuable

So it’s not real anyway

Nevertheless

It is possible

I tell the truth

So I know the truth is exists and it’s possible to tell the truth

The same way I know love exists

It may not be for me specifically

And I may have to accept that

That’s to be determined

But I know it actually exists

Apprehensive-Alps279 · 2025-02-09T15:00:32+00:00

Is really any love left in this life? Isn't is just people loving what someone else provides?

Title	Unless its family, youre not getting unconditional love.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	25
Comments	244
Date	February 9, 2025 2:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ilfe1n/unless_its_family_youre_not_getting_unconditional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/unless-its-family-youre-not-getting-unconditional.1543384 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543384

Comments