Do attractive men make worse partners ?

throwawaylessons103 · 2025-02-22T14:46:21+00:00

I think there’s a huge difference between “attractive” and “attractive enough that women will consistently hit on you first.”

I’ve known guys in both the 1st and 2nd category.

Guys in the 1st category are generally pretty great partners. Guys in the 2nd category generally aren’t.

If you’re hot enough as a guy that tons of attractive women are hitting on you first, that’s a lot of temptation. Approaching women takes effort, many of them reject you and a lot of guys (even attractive ones) prefer LTRs because the effort to have a roster isn’t worth the ROI.

… But when you have the right combo of looks and charisma as a guy, women streamline the process. Getting women just becomes part of your life and routine, and giving that up can be difficult. Especially if you’re a younger guy with a high sex drive and desire for variety.

Also, a lot of younger women are kinda naive and will play the “girlfriend role” in an attempt to lock the guy down. So a super hot, social guy could have multiple women at any given time getting all the pros of a relationship without any of the responsibilities.

Those women will think they’re showing him what he should commit to… but he knows that committing means she’ll expect more from him, he can’t get his needs met from other women, the honeymoon phase will eventually end etc.

malpaiss · 2025-02-22T12:20:38+00:00

The more conventially attractive looking guys I've dated have been more mentally stable and made better partners. In my experience men with insecurities were more susceptible to undesirable behaviours such as addictions and attempting to cheat.

SayuriKitsune · 2025-02-22T09:57:01+00:00

On my experience I had non conventionally attractive guys being horrible partners, insecure, jealous, cheaters , manipulative etc.. and very attractive guys being really good partners, I have no idea why , but I also think it depends on the person more than the looks. I assume that not being insecure is a big plus on how someone acts in a relationship

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-02-22T13:02:55+00:00

Looks are (mostly) immaterial to this. I do think things tend to go most smoothly, generally speaking, when both people are roughly around the same level of attractiveness and nobody thinks they’re hot shit or has a complex about their looks.

Having to hear about how ugly someone thinks they are and how they don’t know why you’re with them gets old, as does having to hear about how hot they think they are and that everyone is supposedly checking them out, and both of these can lead to cheating behaviors. But this is mostly about self-perception more than actual looks.

half_avocado33 · 2025-02-22T10:08:25+00:00

God looking guys i dated treated me with respect. I am always baffled why there's this idea around here that handsome = asshole and ugly = good person.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-02-22T12:40:11+00:00

Looks aren’t a reflection of who you are or how you treat people.

blebbyroo · 2025-02-22T09:51:40+00:00

Looks are immaterial to this.

My husband is conventionally very attractive. He treats me with respect, love empathy and kindness.

I don’t think attractiveness directly impacts how someone treats you. It can indirectly impact personality such as having a chip Ok shoulder for unattractive people or cause cockiness in attractive people but it’s not for sure in either of those situations and both are tired stereotypes.

Attractiveness has 0 impact of sex skills which is what I think you mean by impacting how good of a lover they are. That comes down to Practice, willingness and genuine enjoyment of receiving and giving pleasure.

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Outside_Memory5703 · 2025-02-22T12:43:37+00:00

I know very few, so it’s hard to make generalization

And I don’t know them well either

LillthOfBabylon · 2025-02-22T09:58:58+00:00

Only ‘Nice Guys’ think that. Physical attractiveness and personality are independent of each other.

Its just the worst lovers are neckbeards because they're lazy and have unresolved issues.

sadmatchatea · 2025-02-22T20:34:02+00:00

No, the issues are just different. If the urge to cheat is there, hot guys have an easier time finding someone who’s down. But ugly guys can and do still sext strangers online, pay for OF, or cheat with very disgusting women. Guys who have enough options but aren’t like celebrity/athlete level hot also don’t have the same hangups about missing out or resenting their gf’s for a “higher body count.” At the same time, they have to put in SOME effort when it comes to meeting someone and making a relationship work.

Sadsad0088 · 2025-02-22T10:45:01+00:00

Nope, attractive men that didn’t have to undergo hardships of life and are happily bluepilled are the best imo.

lle-ell · 2025-02-22T11:09:45+00:00

In my experience, hot men have treated me better. I’ve been ghosted by an ugly dude, but never by a hot dude. Hot guys have often given me gifts, ugly-mid dudes would refuse to exchange Christmas presents or do Valentine’s day. Hot guys tend to be secure enough to not be jealous if I mention a male coworker, ugly-mid guys on the other hand…

attendquoi · 2025-02-22T17:09:18+00:00

No, I'd say there's a clear trend in my love life that the hotter guys are not just better partners, but better human beings overall. My guess is that less attractive guys get bitter and take it out on everyone else.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2025-02-22T12:46:28+00:00

I guess I've never dated an attractive guy because I would never approach a man

Sharp_Engineering379 · 2025-02-22T15:10:27+00:00

In my experience, unattractive men are insecure and so desperate for validation they will seek it anywhere, including from the lowest hanging fruit.

But don’t take my word for it, plenty of famous and powerful unattractive men cheat and fuck down. I can’t think of a single man married to a model who cheated with a woman more attractive than his wife.

missmireya · 2025-02-22T19:29:23+00:00

No, but ugly men do. My very first boyfriend was/is ugly and he was also a terrible partner. I swear he hated me for just existing...

I always tell young pretty girls not to date ugly men because they're extremely jealous, insecure, and abusive.

Ill-Pineapple9818 · 2025-02-22T16:16:20+00:00

I'm married to the most handsome man I've ever met. He's a wonderful partner. I don't think there is a correlation between looks and how good a partner they are

learn2earn89 · 2025-02-22T17:53:13+00:00

My limited experience says it depends.

I’m thinking of all the good and bad to average partners of family members, friends, and acquaintances—It’s mixed. I know a few “uggos” that cheated on their wives repeatedly with their neighbor/sex workers/co-worker. They also at one time or another yelled, had anger issues, and some raised their hands at them.

The one really handsome guy I remember didn’t cheat on her but he got into drugs and it all went to hell after that.

I had a friend who’s been married twice now. She’s a 5 foot nothing latina, not particularly good looking or bad looking. She married a 5’2 guy who she eventually found texting other women.

Intuitively, I think that the guy who is a horn dog is more likely to cheat regardless of his looks. The guy who has anger issues regardless of his looks is more likely to be abusive.

Mobile_Nothing_1686 · 2025-02-22T18:31:54+00:00

No. Looks are no indication of how good they are as partners nor their ability to make sex better. They don't make worse nor better partners than someone "less attractive".

doggiedoc2004 · 2025-02-22T19:10:52+00:00

I married the most attractive and awesome man I ever dated. How I was treated by other men didn’t seem to have anything to do with looks. The less attractive ones could be just as awful as attractive. It seemed to be more on how they were raised and their general relationships with their female friends and relatives.

A decent portion of the really good looking, socially and financially well off, college educated men I know seem to be serial monogamists with women of similar background. Most are married w kids and seem pretty happy.

Plane-Image2747 · 2025-02-22T19:23:20+00:00

Every person is different and there are no universal truths in this regard. Both can be great both can be evil both can be just meh and both can be all of these things at different times

waffleznstuff30 · 2025-02-22T21:48:18+00:00

No.

I think it ultimately kind just depends on their character already. Hot people can be shitty. Just as much as someone who isn't hot can be shitty. It depends on just who they are.

JustGeminiThings · 2025-02-27T21:48:57+00:00

I've had four serious relationships in my life. Two with guys who were average looking at best, and two with very good looking guys. They all had/have issues, and they all had/have good things going for them as partners. None of our issues had to do with them being non-committal, dishonest, or overly egotistical. So I don't really believe this. It's a trope. But you know what else is a trope - the guy some woman thought she was setting for because he would be loyal and appreciative and then he turned out to be a jerk. Pick people you are attracted to and like, let them show you who they are before getting attached, know yourself and proceed accordingly.

Alert_Many_1196 · 2025-03-21T05:39:51+00:00

No, they don't. In my experience they tend to be well rounded and social and less extreme in their behaviour. They also tend to be more generous, but that's just my experience.

ChadChasingBReturns · 2025-02-22T14:22:34+00:00

Looks are mostly immaterial. Anyone can have poor character. They’ve all treated me well.

n-a-p-7 · 2025-02-22T14:42:12+00:00

I have never seen this trend in real life. It has more to do with self-esteem. Men with more insecurities and chips on their shoulder tend to treat you the worst. A lot of attractive men who have been attractive all of their lives tend to be more secure with themselves and they are easier to deal with as a woman, especially as an attractive woman. If I had to rate which relationship was best to worst it would be:

Above average man (current; no egos or insecurities)
Below average man (used money to compensate)
Average man (became a gym bro to compensate)

Sophiatab · 2025-02-22T20:44:31+00:00

My experience and the experience of all the women I know well has been the exact opposite. Attractive men are almost always better partners. They have better personalities (manners and kindness) and understand the time and effort women have to put into our appearances. Of course, all the little goblins on this board are going to start shrieking "Of course, they are nice, people have always treated them better." Well, the same is true for attractive women (it's easy to be kind and good when the world loves you). Ugly women have had to deal with that reality for generations and we've done so without becoming nasty incels like so many ugly men. Attractive guys know the difficulty of weight maintenance. They understand how hard and boring working-out is. They often understand dieting. For women that have to live that life (i.e., most women on earth) the handsome buff guys with the six-packs are often the only men in the group that will support us on a diet. And by that I mean really support their female friends with vegetable plates, kind daily reminders and most important not eating fattening foods in front of us.

girlypop_xo · 2025-02-23T02:00:29+00:00

Okay wait you’re onto something because yeah they were. I lowkey love those relationships where people are like omg how did he pull her? I always need to be the better looking one. that’s just my inner dialogue I never repeat out loud. Sue me lol

serpensmercurialis · 2025-02-22T22:31:00+00:00

No. Primarily because most bad behavior from men in relationships stems from them failing to deal with their insecurities.

boomcheese44 · 2025-02-22T16:59:06+00:00

It was mixed for me. Really hot guys tended to have some form of sociopathy. But I've come across a lot of shitty average to above average men too...just look on this sub to see how a lot of men genuinely think about women. From a woman's perspective, there is no "winning".

There was a poster from a while back that compared studies on why Chads are like this, but it boiled down to genetics and how much testosterone they acquired in the womb. They tended to be non-monogamous, prone to alcoholism and substance abuse, lower in IQ, unstable mentally and or sociopathic.

Title	Do attractive men make worse partners ?
Author	Disastrous-Lynx-3247
Upvotes	15
Comments	223
Date	February 22, 2025 9:45 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1ivf9xv/do_attractive_men_make_worse_partners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-attractive-men-make-worse-partners.1544587 https://theredarchive.com/post/1544587

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