The biggest myth in dating is that women are the romantic gender

LaTableEstBasse · 2026-03-10T07:09:28+00:00

They simply dont need to.

poloscraft · 2026-03-11T06:56:32+00:00

Of course they’re not, because they don’t need to. Women generally value money and work over love and bonding for a lifetime and there are numerous studies/surveys for that. It is what it is

SecondEldenLord · 2026-03-10T18:18:03+00:00

I never seen a woman being romantic ever. They are the once always expecting romance but seeing one acting romantic? Never. They very often confuse romance with lust and thus they act lustful while men are doing the following: opening doors, buying flowers or chocolates, pulling the chair, opening the car door, and so on.

Livid-Log7463 · 2026-03-10T09:18:52+00:00

They are the “romance requiring” gender.

SnooCats37 · 2026-03-10T11:36:18+00:00

My husband’s and I ‘first date’ was him coming round to mine and chatting/watched a film.

I used to be romantic with him but he either laughed or said thanks and would put whatever I got him down for it to be lost/get broken.

I don’t bother now. Valentine’s Day is a money making scheme for big businesses. Birthdays I just ask him to tell me what he wants.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2026-03-10T08:57:44+00:00

When in doubt, apply briffaults law. The male must satisfy all conditions of the relationship including demonstrating resource ability, utility and emotional stewardship. If you cannot, the relationship doesn't take place. If you complain about it, you're at fault for either picking the wrong woman, or just using your expected gender roles to get sex out of a woman, or worse being less of a man because you refuse to display any expected material romantic gestures. Hypergamy doesn't care, hypergamy doesn't forgive. It is what it is

teacherinthemiddle · 2026-03-10T02:58:53+00:00

Yeah, women (from my experience as a woman and having friends who are women) are not the romantic gender. Naturally, we will ditch a man who provides too many inconveniences for us in our lives. Career and family (our extended families) take major priority over romance.

krackedy · 2026-03-10T02:40:06+00:00

That sounds like being in a relationship with someone who doesn't like you very much.

SovereignFemmeFudge · 2026-03-10T10:33:41+00:00

THANK GOD smart women are now realising "romance" can mean doing it for yourself , EVERY DAY. Solo (which should always be the starting point), with your loved ones, female friends, men who get it (if even into dating them at this point...) etc. Emotionally unavailable/and or misogynistic men's version of romance is love bombing with the sole goal of SEX at the end, and even then as all the men claim here it is only if he thinks she is good looking enough. These losers idea of "romance" is a cheap low afford 50/50 date and then a quickie at the back. That's it and that is ALL. Ladies know there are men who adore romance, intentionally and do not have to sweat about splitting the cheque for a date they asked you out on. Your standards are your business and i'll add that when a woman has focused on true internal self love and has a good circle? Notice how most losers here complain about "dead bedrooms" because as I said, for most men "romance" is a means to an end performance that they drop like hot coal when they have "secured" the woman and then in their minds it is no longer needed. THAT is not "romance", it is love bombing at best and deception at worst.

As a sovereign self loving and financially independant woman who is fit in body AND mind?You're so content with the life you created for yourself that low effort becomes insulting and redundant. DO NOT be the woman who thinks it is her duty to be convenient, easy and cheap to access, low maintenance and low hassle. DO NOT. Men will claim they want that because all they seek is easy sexual validation of their desirability and you're just the body *not person) to do it for them. Know your value and then add tax, you're not forcing yourself on anyone or expecting anything but have your standards and NO is a complete sentence. Romanticise your own life ladies! It does not have to cost much at all but once you start you can't go back, EVER.

ComplexAttitude4Lyfe · 2026-03-10T20:26:59+00:00

So find a woman who doesn't expect all that stuff. We do exist, ya know.

Accomplished-Rip5200 · 2026-03-11T06:22:37+00:00

Bruh you cooked in the comments

TheCityzens · 2026-03-10T21:05:43+00:00

Women are socialized to be the recipients of romance not the initiators. Big difference. We're taught to wait for the grand gesture not to plan it.

love_in_october · 2026-03-10T06:54:49+00:00

Most of your ideas of what are romantic just seen to be spending money. You don't get to be romantic just by being rich and buying things.

Putting time and thought into pleasing your partner is romantic. I find women tend to be better in making romantic surprises that don't cost much, remembering important dates or just doing small things to cheer their partners up. They'll also put in more everyday work outside big flashy occasions like Valentine's Day (let's not pretend every man even remembers it) or proposals.

AngeAware · 2026-03-10T02:38:33+00:00

You're describing what happens when you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't actually like you

cb8585b · 2026-03-10T02:50:16+00:00

At which event were you held at gun point?

harmonica2 · 2026-03-10T14:56:00+00:00

What about when women complain about their guys not being romantic enough... if guys are the more romantic gender, then why would women think they are less?

itspinkynukka · 2026-03-14T05:07:03+00:00

They wouldn't know how if they tried

Altruistic_Love_5525 · 2026-03-20T08:44:41+00:00

I agree with your assessment of the 'one-way street,' but I think we can take the analysis a step further by looking at why this happens. If we view the dating market as a hiring process, your points about first dates, anniversaries, and proposals make perfect sense: Men as Applicants: You’re describing a series of high-stakes 'job interviews.' The man is the applicant; he has to format the resume (the first date), pass the background check (the conversation), and provide the 'signing bonus' (the ring/proposal). Women as the HR Department: Women don't need to be 'romantic' in the performative sense because they are the Gatekeepers of Access. They aren't the ones applying for the role; they are the ones reviewing the applications. The Power of the Veto: You mentioned that men finance and execute these events to 'adhere to exactly what women want.' This confirms my view that women gatekeep the process from start to finish. A man doesn't choose a fancy restaurant because he’s 'more romantic'; he does it because he knows HR has a strict 'dress code' and 'entry requirement' for the next round of the process (sex and commitment). The 'myth' that women are the more romantic gender persists because society confuses being the recipient of romance with being the creator of it. Women gatekeep the emotional safety and social validation that men are 'applying' for. When a man fails to 'perform' on a birthday or Valentine's Day, he isn't just failing a romantic gesture—he’s failing to meet the 'KPIs' (Key Performance Indicators) required to keep his position in her orbit. In short: Men are the producers of romance, but women are the distributors of access. The 'fair trade' is a cope; it’s a lopsided system where the applicant does the labor and the HR department makes the final hiring decision."

Top-Spring9697 · 2026-03-10T06:08:08+00:00

Women are very romantic for Chad.

You already know what the blacked out words are, don't even bother clicking on them.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-03-10T03:00:47+00:00

See this, ladies? This is evidence of a man who admits to settling for women he doesn’t actually like, and moaning about doing loving things for someone he’s supposed to love, all to avoid his own sad life being single. Be warned: men like this see you as only as an alternative to loneliness. They consider acts of love as chores to fulfill a societal need, not because it’s meaningful to you or demonstrative of care. They want sex from you and will grit their teeth doing anything else to avoid having to put in work to go find someone they actually like. You are not a partner to men like this. You are a last resort because his own life is too pitiful on his own.

Cultural-Charge4053 · 2026-03-10T05:31:00+00:00

Pretty obvious. Most great romantic art has been made by men.

CissyXS · 2026-03-10T08:16:35+00:00

Op, the description you give is...bleak. It looks like a man is paying the woman to stay in his life. If you see that your efforts aren't reciprocated, break up. There are women who give gifts to their boyfriends/husbands and show care and love, don't settle for women who do not love you.

Also, from personal experience, this is the kind of situation where men could use their own advice: don't chase Chad. Or a girl that is not that much into you. You can slightly overinvest in the beginning of relationship to get your foot in the door, but afterwards your efforts must be in balance with the woman's efforts.

Emergency_Iron1897 · 2026-03-10T04:54:49+00:00

So don't date women if you don't like them.

NiaMiaBia · 2026-03-10T02:32:09+00:00

You realize you don’t have to do any of these things, right?

Also, I date women (I’m bi) and I find women to be VERY romantic and thoughtful 🥰

mandoa_sky · 2026-03-10T02:44:52+00:00

i've noticed my female friends being way more considerate and caring towards me than any guy i've dated.

just sounds like you don't actually like each other in your description OP.

my parents do nice things for each other all the time.

Ronniebbb · 2026-03-10T04:07:52+00:00

Romance is individual and by preference. For myself a walk in the park with our dog while looking at the ducks, dodging the cobra chickens and taking photos of fat squirrels is more than enough romance. For other women they like candlelight dinners, hiking, trips etc. Some men like grand gestures and gifts, some like just hanging and watching the game etc

Romance is very individual based and we cannot make monoliths from it. The biggest thing is to communicate your wants and needs

Morbidly0beseCat · 2026-03-10T03:34:04+00:00

my wife paid for our dates, I've spent years unemployed before and just chilled, her ring was 400 dollars, and we always opt to get or not get shit for each other

y'all bitch about stuff that was relevant in the 1980s and really isn't now just to blame your unhappiness on anybody other than yourselves

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RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2026-03-10T02:48:37+00:00

I think it's more like replace 'romantic' with 'love' then you'll be on point. They can be in the vibe and mood but they don't really know what love is. They know better than men 'romance' and doing that in my opinion.

wtknight · 2026-03-10T02:54:50+00:00

[permanently deleted]

enterthehawkeye · 2026-03-10T21:19:21+00:00

Misconception, not a myth

Aimeereddit123 · 2026-03-10T22:40:17+00:00

For myself, I’m a woman, but I don’t think it would matter, it’s cuz I don’t give a rat’s ass about holidays, even my own birthday. I just care about the overall quality of the relationship. I’d rather a guy just be lowkey stable, and a consistently good relationship partner, then do dazzling romantic gestures. Those are relatively easy. Staying a good man of integrity throughout the years is hard.

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-03-11T21:06:05+00:00

Where did this myth come from?

socraticsnail · 2026-03-14T10:22:11+00:00

I’m not romantic because I’ve seen what happens to women who are romantic suckers: they get used and mistreated. I am rational and logical. I love my partner so very much, but I’m not a fool.

blackbearsrule · 2026-03-23T11:52:38+00:00

lmao nah she just doesnt like you, im one of those feminist women you keep dissing in the replies and ive payed for countless gifts and dinners. as have hundreds of thousands of other women. if she wanted to she would, its not a gender thing it a you thing. and based on the weird imaginary woman hating scenario youve painted, u probably have j have noo game

LiftSleepRepeat123 · 2026-03-10T04:40:13+00:00

I guess the fundamental question is whether "being romantic" means initiating romantic action or wanting to receive it.

Superb-Foundations · 2026-03-10T08:47:49+00:00

If your girlfriend acts like this she doesnt like you. Period.

First date - My husband took me to a Chinese buffet and he paid. Then we went for a walk and got ice cream and I paid. Then we made out in the car and talked for 4 hours before he dropped me off at my house and we made plans to see a movie together the next day. I bought the tickets and he got the popcorn.

Valentines day - This year I made him homemade chocolates, got him a steam gift card, and a new speaker for his gym.

Anniversary - We do fun year theme gifts. For our 5th wedding anniversary I got him a cool wood DnD screen and our 10th anniversary i got him a tin sound wave picture of me saying I love you (he later got it tattooed)

Birthdays are easy and if you dont feel like celebrating the day your partner was born you should find a new partner.

Proposal.... ok. Ill give that to you. He asked me but I think he had fun with it. Taking time to pick out a ring he knew I would love and planning a romantic evening shouldn't be a chore but something you look forward to. The ring he got me cost $400 and even though, a decade later, we could now afford a "better" ring, im never getting a new one because i love the one he gave me..

It seems you have this negative perception of women and its either because the women you have dated didnt like you or because you are going after a certain type of woman. 🤷

DMmeClownPics · 2026-03-10T11:20:08+00:00

Specifically who is complaining that men aren’t “romantic” though? If all of this is basically forced and unappreciated though, then it seems the man should “choose better”.

I might actually be aromantic or demiromantic, but I also have no expectations of romantic overtures from my partner. I will always do these things for my partner though because I realize for most people it does matter.

mobjack · 2026-03-10T03:06:00+00:00

I really don't care about receiving romantic gestures myself as a man.

Women care much more which is why there is an imbalance.

And you don't have to spend that much money to make a woman happy. A cheap thoughtful gesture that shows your really paid attention to her is better than a generic expensive gift.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2026-03-10T07:52:39+00:00

What i think people mean is that women's attraction is more dependent on romance.

Iron-Wild-41 · 2026-03-10T02:38:26+00:00

This only happens if you date a woman who is 1-2 points higher smv than you. If youre an 8 and shes a 6.5, she wont have unrealistic expectations. If its reversed, than she will.

NoBlacksmith8137 · 2026-03-10T07:50:47+00:00

What is “romantic” about dating when you see it mostly as investments?

Title	The biggest myth in dating is that women are the romantic gender
Author	Specific-Art-8932
Upvotes	187
Comments	369
Date	March 10, 2026 2:26 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1rpkpym/the_biggest_myth_in_dating_is_that_women_are_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-biggest-myth-in-dating-is-that-women-are-the.1575122 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575122

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