unselected men should not be guilted nor should they care into feeling responsible for what happens with the men women actually choose.

women say men dating struggles are not her problem, and then chooses a different type of man, that outcome is not the moral burden of the men she did not want. only the small group of men she found attractive. 

you cannot tell a group of men that are undesirable, invisible, bitter for talking among themselves, and then later demand that they emotionally participate in the consequences of choices they had no influence over.

when women are choosing, it is their freedom, their standards, their boundaries, their autonomy. when those choices go badly, suddenly men as a group are supposed to care. suddenly even the men who were never picked are supposed to feel guilt, empathy, responsibility, or collective shame.

"Men should hold their friends accountable!!"  why should we? it clearly works for him?

if women are adults with agency, then their partner choices are their choices. if they choose charming toxic men, exciting unstable men, abusive men, irresponsible men, or men with obvious warning signs, that is not the fault of some random guy she would never date anyway.

unselected men are always told they are not owed love, sex, attention, patience, kindness, or understanding. fair enough. but then women are not owed emotional concern from those same men when the men they actually selected hurt them.

you do not get to reject a man from the game, then draft him into the cleanup crew after the game goes badly.

this does not mean celebrating abuse or harm. it means refusing fake collective guilt. the man who did nothing to her owes nothing for what another man did. especially if he was the type of man she never would have chosen in the first place.

women are free to choose who they want.

unselected men are free to not care about the consequences of those choices.