"FDS is so JUDGEMENTAL" Yes, and we are proud of it! Mate selection is among the most important decisions you will ever make, it is a crucial time to be choosy!

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-09-04T18:13:54+00:00

It's funny we're called judgmental but there's plenty of men on Reddit and irl who talk about deciding if a woman is "wife material" or just fuck material. Talking about how they have such high standards for their wife. Shit, just go read /datingoverthirty and read some of the shit the guys say about the women they're dating.

I've also had men on OLD tell me they "don't commit unless she's worth it"

But women are supposed to just go out with a man just because he might be nice. And his value as husband and father isn't even considered. THEN these same guys say "well single mothers did it to themselves by shacking up with a man like that", as if she's supposed to be able to predict the future.

If a woman does anything there's someone somewhere who will tell her she's wrong.

eveninghope · 2020-09-04T18:12:52+00:00

At the end of they day, you get one. Imagine just going out and buying whatever house/car/etc. you come across. Much like these big ticket items, relationships are an investment. Go to open houses, test drive cars. Be selective.

myousername · 2020-09-04T18:00:10+00:00

Oh right I forgot not accepting scumbag behaviour is an awful thing to do

finalbosskitten · 2020-09-04T18:25:06+00:00

Lol, even if I was anti-FDS I'd be disgusted by the fact that the majority of redditors exhibit more functional hatred and disgust about FDS than shit that actually has hurt people or children, or advocates for abuse (yes, a man paying for a date isn't abusing him, stop bastardizing the concept of abuse) and murder. Literally a sub that produces women that will basically be as real as Maleficent to the world, without any harm done either besides apparently acting despicable. Really just reminds me that attitude crimes is literally the most evil things people think women can do, and remind me people really do hate women when they aren't self-sacrificing. Like, I don't walk outside and hate random men nor wish ill will on them, but my standards themselves are seen as me declaring war on men because people are just that cuckoo. Most of the shit we compile here is literally straight from men's mouths as well. It's just everyone is used to saying shit that boils down "lol you might run into this behavior with 90%+ of men you encounter, but trust me, it's the minority of men. Tear down your boundaries and let that creepy dude talking about his rape fetish all the time into your bedroom. He just wants to cuddle. Oh, you don't want to? Well, you're an entitled slutwhore bitch demon. I bet you'd let him in if he were 7 feet tall." Of course there's so much victim blaming going around because people literally just can't compute that women who get raped and abused are usually the women who believed what good everyone else - including victim blamers - told them about men. Hell, even Pickmes are pretty terrible; crab mentality up the wazoo. Rly not at all surprised even more explicitly questionable shit (i.e., cheating) are being apologized for all the time.

Also women should be choosy for the sake of our future children. It might be rocket science so I don't expect 95%+ of people to understand this, but kids born into poverty and to lazy, neglectful or abusive, unkind (people say men that literally have done nothing compassionate untransactionally in their entire lives are "nice") fathers are worse off for it.

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-09-04T18:18:56+00:00

I think people get super triggered by “low value” and “high value” labels. Unfortunately, we live in a world where there are (fairly objective) different values to someone as a mate. I at one point was a LVW, I was insecure, unstable and didn’t take care of myself financially, physically or mentally. Would it have stung to have someone point it out? Maybe (I’ve always been pretty self aware but can’t guarantee I wouldn’t have been triggered by it)... but it wouldn’t have changed the fact that as a mate, I had low value. I didn’t date during that time because I wanted to level up and (if I found a mate) find a good one on my new, higher level.

I’m not saying a LVM is a shit human being and deserves to die (although some of the really bad ones do), I’m not even really blaming them for it (plenty of people have crap upbringings that negatively affected them growing into functional adults and that isn’t their fault, but what you do with it as an adult is on you). But that doesn’t change the fact that, to me, they are a low value mate and I absolutely DO NOT need to entertain them for whatever reason. Stop trying to change my standards and maybe work on raising yours. People take things way too personally, and way too seriously. They act like calling someone a low value mate is akin to sending death and rape threats and trying to ruin the guys life.

Proud-Purpose · 2020-09-04T20:31:27+00:00

"Choose better!"

"N-no, not like this!"

MagnfiqueMaleficent · 2020-09-04T20:04:12+00:00

Meanwhile, pUa, mgtow et al. openly RATE women on a 1-10 scale based on physical appearance only. Nothing judgmental about that! They believe that if she isn’t an 8+, she should go along with whatever coffee date, bare minimum relationship, sex hookup he decides she’s worthy of. That HE DECIDES. There the rub, ladies. The judging can only go one way as far as they’re concerned.

Sorry boys, you need to bring some good qualities to the table, too.

pineycitrusforest · 2020-09-04T18:30:25+00:00

As if men ARENT judgmental in the slightest 🙄

fim_de_semana · 2020-09-04T18:53:26+00:00

Dating is an exclusionary activity by nature. It’s not my job to be a charity. It’s my job to choose the best possible option, for me and my future children.

feast_or_famine1 · 2020-09-04T18:33:16+00:00

"Judgemental" = having standards.

msChonk123 · 2020-09-04T21:30:19+00:00

Only NV/LV people with no self awareness get triggered by a sub that’s dedicated to the empowerment of women.

And this sub serves two purposes. First and foremost, to teach and encourage one another as women. And two, to shame LV/NVM so that maybe they start looking at themselves and their garbage behavior. If you can’t get with it, too bad!

AyemHerself · 2020-09-05T00:03:14+00:00

It's important to note that nobody is entitled to a relationship. Just like we don't go around forcing men to "give us a chance," men have no business doing that either.

LadyHormoneMonster · 2020-09-04T18:19:39+00:00

Guys market themselves as turn key houses, but then you find the wood rot and mold in their foundation 🤣

IntrepidStorage · 2020-09-04T19:23:45+00:00

I'm more-or-less in the business of flipping houses. You gonna pay me 30k to spend 8 hours a day for a month fixing up a guy ready to live with? You absolutely 100% sure he's gonna do as I instruct for 8 hours a day for a month, and thereafter follow the new principles I drummed in?

No? Fuck the hell off then, I'm sticking to houses.

Davina33 · 2020-09-04T20:55:31+00:00

I make no apologies for being this way. Unfortunately I had to suffer the consequences of my Pickmeisha mother picking NVM.

2020-09-04T21:52:43+00:00

[deleted]

Pahapan · 2020-09-04T23:44:05+00:00

just want to add that it is practically child abuse to choose to reproduce with a man if you know he is N/LVM. Best case scenario, your children end up psychologically traumatized from their deadbeat, lazy, or emotionally unavailable parent. Worst case scenario, your children get sexually or physically abused.

Thank you for saying this. I got pregnant with my abusive ex and I aborted. It's something that weighs heavy on my heart. I wanted that baby and part of me wants to believe that if I'd fought him hard enough and loved my baby hard enough that they could have had a good life, but realistically that wouldn't have happened. Him and his abusive family would have gotten partial custody for who knows how long, inflicting who knows what kind of damage on my child, until I could get enough evidence to be granted full custody. His mom physically abused him when he was a kid (and his stepdad took over when he got older) and he told me she abuses his little sister and hits his nieces (and he thought I'd be okay with her babysitting). I'd like to think my ex wouldn't have abused his own child, but nothing about him indicated that he wouldn't. And even if he didn't, his mom certainly would have.

CatsOnTheLaptopAgain · 2020-09-04T20:23:40+00:00

Somebody call 911, I'm pretty sure a lot of ballsacks are going up in flames reading this one.

VulcanSpaceSquirrel · 2020-09-04T18:17:21+00:00

Good analogy

-pop-fizz-clink · 2020-09-04T21:59:10+00:00

I find this group polite and uplifting. We all seem to for the most part be classy and diplomatic. Of course there will always be some sass.

I'm part of a fb group and they are mean as heck at times. They slut shame you, respond to vulnerabilities in very abrasive ways... the list goes on. They haven't figured out how to be polite and they assume everyone NEEDS their tough love. They go for walks as dates and will call you high maintenance for saying a coffee isn't a date.

AnniaT · 2020-09-04T23:41:43+00:00

To all the crying babies: If you're not LVM then why complain about a group of women not wanting LVM in their lives? And if you're LVM then why are you so pressed over a group of women not wanting you? Either stay single or find pickmeishas who don't mind your LVM ways, simple. I have yet to understand men's meltdowns over a subreddit made by women for women who don't want LVM in their lives and want to feel empowered. Why so mad?

Edit: I also want to add that the same applies to men. Men might reject women (for relationship, even if they have sex with her) because of shallow qualities like appearance or any other stuff they might find significant for them and guess what? We don't care and understand, it's their choice and right too. Everyone, men or women have the right of choosing what's better for them. If they get to choose then why can't we? Why do we have to settle for men that won't make our life better than already is?

AyemHerself · 2020-09-05T00:35:57+00:00

There are currently a lot of dudes trying to report this as promoting date based on identity.

Imagine living in a world where the most hateful thing you could do to someone is not have sex with them.

KelsConditional · 2020-09-04T18:45:53+00:00

It’s so funny because the men that complain about FDS, they rant until they turn blue about how we’re judgmental bitches and horrible cunts as if that’s going to change our minds?

Like do they really think that attacking us is going to make us go “Yup you men are absolutely right, thank you for calling me an ugly whore femcel I’m absolutely going to lower my standards and date you now. ” ???

I just can’t understand why anyone would be so stupid to think that the best way to “criticize” this sub that is dedicated to helping women find HVM is by spewing misogynistic and hateful crap about us.

Men who feel attacked by FDS are the same men who women that follow FDS need to avoid. You (as in all the male lurkers) feel attacked because you are a LVM, calling women judgmental bitches etc etc is low value behavior. You’re literally proving our point.

PessimisticAna · 2020-09-04T22:51:52+00:00

Men are allowed to be openly judgemental online and offline, in the locker room and on tv.

Why can't we have this one safe space?

PollyAnnaSunshine · 2020-09-04T18:14:02+00:00

Indeed! Love this post. This community makes me feel so thankful for likeminded women and HVM.

Lionoras · 2020-09-04T20:28:49+00:00

One time, I passivley mentioned to my step-father that I had found a cool site about dating strategies (aka FDS) and he laughed his ass off about it.

He -the guy who his wife cheated on, got pregnant with me and who he stayed with only because he was to bored to find a new place - tells me, that in "his time" dating never required any "strategies" and that I was simply "paranoid".

The joke gets worse, when you regard that I'm a "concern case".

Aka; y'know those phrases like "kids from abusive homes have the tendency to get into abusive relationships?"

I am a collector of that.

Asperger girl from a broken home, Skin Hunger and depression since childhood, who already had several toxic platonic relationships and barely dodged a toxic relationship with a guy 8years older at the age of 15yo.

Everyone around me basically expects me to fail. My friends pity me and worry about my future relationships. I'm always the care-kid that everyone worries about when they move away.

So yeah, I can't do anything besides being judgemental in my selection.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-09-05T01:44:07+00:00

A psychologist once said to me “you can and should be as judgemental as you want in your own life.”

perkytitssolidshits · 2020-09-04T22:44:53+00:00

Hell yes it’s important! Look at nature. You think females just give it to whoever lol NOPE. Best genes/smarter males win every time! HVM for the win ❤️

HaveNoIdeaWhatToPick · 2020-09-04T21:15:48+00:00

I'm tired of the fact, that women always have to be extra careful with their words and polite, even on the internet. Men can literally shit all over us, make rape threats, write shit like "women are useless" etc. and everyone is okay with that. But when a woman slightly criticize a dude she's an evil, dangerous "feminatzi". Let's ignore the fact that there were at least several cases when a man identifying as an incel came out and shoot people but you don't hear the same about feminists.

sunset74420 · 2020-09-04T21:50:52+00:00

They call it being judgmental, I call it being discerning. They can kick rocks if they don't like it.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-09-04T19:04:28+00:00

Besides there aren’t many great options so idk why they are so triggered anyway.

favoritesound · 2020-09-04T20:41:04+00:00

Can’t believe men are so choose when it comes to their food, the car they buy, the motorcycle they buy, the career they choose. A partner is only something you try to keep for a lifetime. At least with houses and careers you can swap those every 20 years without much heartbreak.

Yet men have their stupid boxers in a bunch because they’re upset women won’t settle.

When are they going to complain about employers being choosy?

About employers not wanting you to be an ex-felon? A drug user? An employee with terrible reviews from ex employers?

Idiots.

Maybe spend less time sucking and more time improving yourself. Or....join mgtow and bitch about life with people desperate enough to care to hear.

Newwavesupport3657 · 2020-09-04T20:49:19+00:00

Women go to therapy , men go for relationships 🤦🏼‍♀️obnoxious.

In every anxiety and depression Group on fb there’s always a man using it as zoosk talking about how he’s lonely. And he shouldn’t have to recover before seeking relationships.

Sea_Soil · 2020-09-04T23:24:26+00:00

Amen!

Don't give just anybody access to your womb. Not enough women realize how valuable that really is.

We have the evolutionary right to allow only the fittest, most capable man to reproduce with us. We have what men kill and die for, what they fight wars over.

Getting pregnant permanently alters your body at best, and risks your life at worst. Women still die during childbirth and from complications. Don't put your life in danger for a man that doesn't even have a bed frame. What kind of protector and provider will he be for your children?

When you have sex with a man you're showing him that he is worthy of impregnating you. Period. It doesn't matter if you are on birth control, that's the message you send and it's exactly why so many of these NVM/LVM are so damn cocky.

rinabean · 2020-09-04T21:18:31+00:00

Exercising judgement when choosing a lifelong partner is a GOOD THING

This is so true. I hate the... erm... judgement against being judgemental lmao. It's not a bad thing.

But the thing is? They know it. They despise women who aren't selective.

They don't want to go their own way. They want to have their cake and eat it too, or maybe have their woman and call her a stupid slut for settling for him, too.

biscuitbutt11 · 2020-09-04T20:14:07+00:00

We are looking for respect. If Men want to continue to be immature, then they are going to end up alone.

Trine_tg22 · 2020-09-04T21:16:55+00:00

They're only whining about this because they know they're inadequate on every level. Ultimately, the man we choose determine a ton from our child's look, health, predisposition or not to illnesses etc etc etc.

Wtf is wrong with these men (other than everything) that they think these things shouldn't matter? For example one of the reason for avoiding 35/40+ men is that such older men have an increased risk for various health condition in the child. Let's not even talk about how having a dead-beat father could potentially affect a child. Wtf is wrong with these men that they think this is, somehow, up for debate???

We give birth, we have the costs associated with it. Not men. We get to be choosy. Not men. If men don't like it, I'm sure they can fulfill their sexual and emotional needs among themselves (I mean, the whiners are such good catches themselves that they shouldn't have a problem with this, right?)

ItsFreezen · 2020-09-04T20:31:22+00:00

Hypocrites. Men created the rating system.

qwertymasshole · 2020-09-04T20:25:56+00:00

Men act like incels and misogynists IRL, this is what us women deal with DAILY not just on reddit (like they do, as if FDS even compares). God forbid we want to use the shitty cards the world has dealt us to our benefit! Plus there’s no denying it, men are held to very low standards in most cultures and women are expected to carry the weight of the world.

Nifteroni-and-Cheese · 2020-09-05T02:21:00+00:00

When I think someone is low value, that doesn’t mean I wish them any ill will, I just don’t want them ruining my life. I want LVM and pick-mes to grow, to become better and have happy lives. It’s just not my responsibility to fix their lives for them. I don’t have to have anyone in my life who’s going to make it worse, that doesn’t mean I hate them.

Summerisle7 · 2020-09-04T21:19:21+00:00

When women harp on this sub, that's what's really sad. "Femcels" and of course the all-purpose insult to use on women, "BITTER"

Ariella222 · 2020-09-04T21:28:50+00:00

Standards and boundaries can not be set without good judgement.

yggiwtmiih · 2020-09-04T21:47:12+00:00

The only difference is at least you can choose to fix a house. People have to choose for themselves to be better and improve themselves and a partner can't do jack about it. It would be like moving into a bad house with no guarantee damage could ever be reversed, unlikely to be fixable in the first place, and you have to live there while the repairs and cat piss smell are being corrected (or more likely not).

Littlebunny080 · 2020-09-05T05:22:19+00:00

Oh gosh AMEN to all of the things you mentioned. Ugghhhh men are so fragile, acting like babies sometimes. Leave us the fuck alone, who would want to be with an LVM, waste years or months by his side and damage your sanity and health when you can have an educated HVM and enjoy the life and partner you deserve.

NOBODY judges men when they say ”my type is big boobs, tiny waist and a fat ass” get the fuck out of here. When all they can offer is bad hygiene and a beer belly...

I can't and won't allow myself to be with a guy who doesn't take care of himself, I just can't do that to myself, I love myself and respect myself too much. Why oh why would I want to settle for less when I can have something better.

2020-09-04T20:49:36+00:00

Constructive criticism means judgmental for some 🤷‍♀️

Kzunzh · 2020-09-05T01:11:31+00:00

I've been single for the past year because I'm trying to not waste my time with men like this, but I can't help myself from looking at a guy and seeing potential? Like oh if I just encouraged him to go to the gym and eat healthier he'd be fine, I could help him with his depression because I'm coming out of mine but I know I shouldn't? How do I get out of this mindset?? I've ALWAYS seen men like this and it's always been bad for me :-(

javagarbagecollector · 2020-09-05T03:35:49+00:00

Men are doing nothing but he judgemental. They always choose what suits them. It's their nature to be selfish. We are really just pulling equal by putting our needs in the picture!!!!!!

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-09-04T19:35:50+00:00

This is great

smart-tart23 · 2020-09-05T01:45:20+00:00

Best thing that ever happened to me was finding this sub!

rysedg · 2020-09-05T01:10:30+00:00

My God this is the first time I’ve ever felt like buying an award

LizzyCF · 2020-09-05T06:36:15+00:00

Height & looks aren't things I personally judge a potential mate on but you bet your ass I'll be looking at everything else. Won't treat me with respect? Expect me to be your bang maid/mommy? Zero ambition regarding work & expecting me to provide for you? Have the personality of a gnat & burden me with your issues/jealousy/selfishness/immaturity? Have zero consideration for my time & boundaries? Etc.. etc..

No thank you. I might not be conventionally attractive but I know my worth. I've turned down several interested men including doctors (highly sought after in this part of the world) because I didn't get that HVM energy. I've seen so many women with LVM who are utterly miserable, doing everything in the relationship plus half of what their men are supposed to be doing & considering themselves "blessed", while their men are ogling the teenage waitress behind the counter. I'd rather become a lonely old lady than settle for a trash partner.

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TedMeds · 2020-09-04T20:43:36+00:00

It's really not judgemental ESPECIALLY if you are planning on owning a home together, getting married and having children. You really need to make sure someone is financially stable and mentally mature. How many people grow up with parents that aren't compatible, or a parent that does absolutely nothing.

tarastocks95 · 2020-09-05T01:58:46+00:00

Mate selection 😂😂

Ilykeyou · 2020-09-05T02:29:53+00:00

We need one day a week where we only post happy shit. Shine y'all, shine

Meredeen · 2020-09-05T03:35:22+00:00

But MUH penis

mmkay33 · 2020-09-05T05:51:10+00:00

We aren’t here to flip houses, sell, then have someone else move in anyway

Verysoftbun · 2020-09-05T06:38:05+00:00

Women also get blamed for choosing men who aren't good.

PottyMouthx · 2020-09-05T08:38:24+00:00

Oh wow being unaccomplished and dysfunctional is now an 'identity'

I imagine these people applying to be surgeons without any medical degree, being turned down and filing a complaint for discrimination and abuse.

World respects/demands success. Advice? Don't be piss carpet. Work on yourself.

LittleBitchyBanana · 2020-09-05T09:10:40+00:00

We are so judgemental for having the AuDaCiTy to CHOOSE with whom we want to spend our lives. Because having standards is so judgmental. Yes we are judgment just like guys are judgmental when it comes to eg women’s appearance. Men can be harsh AF so they should get used to the fact that we’ll just as judgmental and even more :) Have standards ladies. Always.

Amber2408 · 2020-09-04T23:00:33+00:00

Perfect analogy! Makes so much sense.

Travelbabe95 · 2020-09-04T23:00:48+00:00

Thank you

throwaway631391220 · 2020-09-05T18:17:51+00:00

LOL being judgmental is A OK when men when they chase after women who are much too young, thin and pretty for them. How dare women have any standards at all 🙄

Mimory125 · 2020-09-06T11:58:18+00:00

Sometimes i think being a Straight woman is a waste of time nowadays, men have always benefit from our presence not the opposite

"FDS is so JUDGEMENTAL" Yes, and we are proud of it! Mate selection is among the most important decisions you will ever make, it is a crucial time to be choosy!

Dear men: we are not in the business of flipping houses.

Comments