This is why I’m okay with not getting married or having children. I’d much rather be out experiencing life and enjoying myself than have to deal with this

Davina33 · 2021-05-13T14:28:22+00:00

Same. I'm in my own apartment. The dishes are cleaned and stay that way. I have bad back pain at the moment so I can rest without worrying about a mess accumulating. Being single and childfree is heaven. No wonder we are the happiest demographic.

radsera99 · 2021-05-13T15:47:25+00:00

After years of watching my mum and literally every woman I know endure back breaking work every single day without ANY time to themselves I decided I will never ever have kids. ALL their problems stem Ron their husbands and children. The key to a truly stress free and happy life for women is to be childish and probably single. You will always end up their maid. No matter what you do your life purpose will become serving and looking after them. Be smart. Choose yourself.

spinsterchachkies · 2021-05-13T14:49:41+00:00

I don’t even know how you make that many dirty dishes in one day. That’s like a weeks worth of dishes.

BiscuitWoof · 2021-05-13T14:29:24+00:00

Having kids is overrated. Chances are, as a woman, you’ll be a single mother (even if you’re married or have a male partner). They literally will sit back, relax and know if they don’t do it, it’s all okay because the woman will, she alwayssss will.

New mindset - let men fail. I don’t give a crap if their life goes down the gutter.

pretty_kill · 2021-05-13T15:11:34+00:00

This is how they grow up and just look for mommy bangmaids.

ENFP_Canadian · 2021-05-13T14:28:52+00:00

Reason #274650299 why I'm childfree

DallasM19 · 2021-05-13T15:26:58+00:00

Yay, nvm in training. Because we definitely need to add to the overwhelming amount of them already crawling the earth.

My sisters kids are like this too but she also isn't raising them to be productive members of society. She snaps at them for being lazy, but no consequences are handed out.

I feel bad for this woman. That sink is ridiculously full. I'm sure they have zero issues about completing quests in video games or keeping track of sports stats.

I'm happy to have her borrow my terrifying polish mother who puts up with nothing at all.

kerean1997 · 2021-05-13T14:39:55+00:00

This is why I feel sad for the friends I had that became pickme's by culture and then got an unwanted pregnancy.

GabbaG0ul · 2021-05-13T16:26:18+00:00

There is a little disconnect for me here. I’m sorry, but a lot of women don’t know how to stand up for themselves. I would never just do the dishes because some one left them for me. If I come home to a kitchen that exploded while I was gone I’m not making dinner. So my husband has two choices; he can either clean the kitchen while I’m gone or clean it and make dinner when I get home. IDGAF, I will literally order delivery for just me and eat in front of him. Im sorry but if those kids are old enough to walk a dog, they’re old enough to load a dishwasher. Never in a million years would my mom wash dishes if we left them. Same thing. Now we’re doing dishes and fending for ourselves. Which is probably where I got the attitude from.

letsdoityesterday · 2021-05-13T14:36:06+00:00

Yes, men are just so inconsiderate. I will remind childfree thanks.

Currently my brother is living in my house (he is young saving for his home), but the guy just has inconsistency in cleaning.

I need to keep reminding him to keep his restroom clean. I feel sorry for his future wife.

He is smart and good person, but terrible at keeping clean and helping around.

Once he moves out, I will never have anyone live in my house again. Is not worth the trouble.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-05-13T15:14:41+00:00

Ok this might be an unpopular opinion, but one of my kids is a teenage boy. She didn’t specify the ages of her boys but I assume they’re older if they are old enough to walk and tend to a dog without adults.

The problem is that these women tend to be soft touches. They’d rather mope around feeling taken advantage of, rather than getting a steel spine.

It starts when the kids are young. They’ll express a boundary to the kids, like “stop running around” or “put that down” they may even holler, but they won’t DO anything to really enforce it. I have seen it time and time again. So the kids learn that they can pretty much do whatever they want once mom finishes hollering, she won’t actually enforce consequences.

These boys should have had a clear task list of who does what. Mom should have taken her day completely, not hover around like a hawk to see if the boys are cleaning. If the next day dawns and those boys did nothing, then real and swift consequences need to happen. This woman is being disrespected in her own home. She says “they get told” to clean up after themselves but do they actually DO it, and if not, does anything happen? And needless to say, SHE should not be touching those damn dishes the next day.

When my kids were little I’d have so many friends and family visit with their kids and they’d do this thing where they tell their kids to stop doing something. But then they’d be like “ugh fine whatever” because they didn’t want to have to get up or make a thing out of it. And they probably don’t think it’s a big deal in the moment because the kid is 3 and cute but it sets the precedent. Fast forward 10 years and you’ve got disrespectful preteens/teens that flagrantly just do whatever they want and don’t give a shit what mom says.

And yeah it sucks that she might have to do a mama boot camp or something now. It’s more work with larger, older, more stubborn kids. So I guess this post is for the young women here who want kids someday: start young so you don’t have to try and change the disrespectful habits of teenagers. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Kids’ll fuck up of course, and you’ll have to impose consequences, but that’s just part of the deal.

PinturaMagnifica · 2021-05-13T14:42:48+00:00

The amount of unpaid, unappreciated domestic labor women perform to keep our homes and society running is unbelievable. Many don't even have a choice and will get blamed for not "taking time to themselves" or when they inevitably break and "explode."

Gambit12345 · 2021-05-13T16:13:10+00:00

Ha honestly staying single is bliss and posts like this reaffirm my desire to stay child and marriage free. My apartment is as clean as I want it. I never go to bed with my kitchen dirty. I pick up after myself. I can enjoy whatever I want and not worry about a bf shitting on the things I love or having to remind him to take care of himself. And no man thinking I can’t do x y z because I’m in a relationship. I’m so glad I realized this in my 20s.

ewoksareprettycool · 2021-05-13T16:55:09+00:00

I’m terrified of having this life.

lostmillenia · 2021-05-13T15:03:17+00:00

This woman needs to escape her "family".

Apricot_Ibex · 2021-05-13T17:31:23+00:00

My happily divorced friend and her children live in a tidy home with everyone pitching in to keep it up. It's honestly cleaner than a lot of households I've visited without any kids. It was her HUSBAND who trashed the place up, and now he's out the door because she didn't tolerate it.

Children need parents to model correct behavior and self-discipline to them, and my friend has never made any difference in her treatment of her daughter vs her son. Boys are often given cues, even if subtle and unspoken, that they don't have to do anything around the house; that cultural pattern has to be broken.

I know men who were raised to clean up after themselves and they don't act like selfish slobs. I also know some men who weren't even allowed into the kitchen for cultural reasons, and they've stepped up and learned to cook and clean. My husband taught himself to cook as an adult (he's really good at it too), and he's extremely tidy. I don't have to "ask" him to do anything and we both do our equal share.

It all goes back to men being coddled, choosing to keep being shitty, and then getting by with it. But I can certainly understand women wanting to opt out of the whole risk of dealing with the average man's slovenly bullshit! And some men are sneaky and will pretend for awhile and then let it all slide. NOT worth the risk and hassle at all!

Onextto0 · 2021-05-13T17:08:31+00:00

The same boys will walk all over and disrespect their partners when they're older. I dont want to shame her, but she really should put her foot down and punish this kind of behaviour.

GingeroftheDead · 2021-05-13T20:35:46+00:00

This is why I love living alone in my own house. It's just me, my peace and my free time. The house stays cleaner for longer. If I'm having a bad day, I can fuck right off to bed and sleep well, knowing that no one is destroying my house while I'm resting. I don't live an exciting life, but I have a tranquil one, and that's worth it's weight in gold.

PeaceIsTheName · 2021-05-13T14:30:13+00:00

Wow, never thought about it like that.

Yeah, being single really has its merits

Watzoo · 2021-05-13T17:28:25+00:00

This is a spouse problem.

If she were the sole parent, she’d make the rules for her house and her kids. Want WiFi password? Load and run the dishwasher first. Want to go hang with your friends this weekend? You know we vacuum every evening - it’s already done, right?

Kids are trainable if you start young. It’s not impossible to have a fairly presentable house when you’re the one running it. Everyone gets an age-appropriate set of daily chores (5-20 minutes a day) and one once-a-week chore that they own that take a bit longer. Set aside a quick window to do them daily, then be done and enjoy your time. Easy enough most of the time.

If you add a man to the house tho, he has to be self motivated to either match your efforts or carry out his own side of home maintenance.

I watch friends try to get their teens and kids to cooperate when their spouse refuses, tho, and it’s impossible. Moms can’t have enough authority to manage their own home without “henpecking” the unsupportive husband, so the mom does everything and the teens have seen mom be housemaid since they were small. Now it just feels like bullying when they’re asked to step up, and they dont know why they have to do something when dad doesn’t.

ms_monquis · 2021-05-13T19:47:02+00:00

If you let your dog crap on the living room floor every day for 5 years, how does he know not to crap on the floor when you leave town for the weekend?

level_up_always · 2021-05-13T22:08:33+00:00

being childfree/marriage free is a cheatcode to life for sure

thecrazywitch31 · 2021-05-13T17:28:38+00:00

This is true and now I feel guilty for not helping my mom out enough. Though I try to, my mom doesn't let me do a lot because she says "when you marry, you will have to do a lot of work like me. So better enjoy your life while you're in my care" 😔

Also I think I'm hella lazy too

Big-Paleontologist13 · 2021-05-14T00:56:25+00:00

Ok, but hear me out. If you don’t get your kids involved in cleaning, cooking etc from a young age they aren’t just going to magically wake up one day and think ‘oh look there’s the dishwasher and soap, I’ll just clean up!’ This is a fairy tale. This mum has failed. She needs to involve her boys daily and they need to experience real life repercussions if they don’t get involved in keeping the house where they live clean Edit- ok she TELLS them everyday to help, pitch in, they clearly don’t, so she just does it. She needs to stop just doing it! And she need to ground them, or not get them to their activities. Motherhood is not to blame, there is nothing bad about being a mummy. What’s wrong with it is allowing your kids to treat you snd your home like shit.

Splatzy19 · 2021-05-13T15:40:21+00:00

Imagine all that hard work, time and energy and you wake up to that mess in that god awful ugly kitchen.

flyinglemurbatmomo · 2021-05-13T16:12:12+00:00

My son and husband have a lower tolerance for filth than I do and I'm so glad because it means they are both full humans who can and will take care of themselves and others. There's nothing laudable about it. They just fully function.

3orangelove · 2021-05-13T17:16:19+00:00

That sink … in one day … how many kids does she have, 7? 😳

biwinny · 2021-05-13T15:34:26+00:00

I really want children one day, but first i have to come to terms with the fact that i will most likely be a single mom since men are allowed and sometimes even encouraged to contribute absolutely nothing but money to a household.

I've always wanted to adopt children but best believe I wont be adopting any males.

Dexaroo5716 · 2021-05-14T01:23:28+00:00

Fucckkkk that

uselesssdata · 2021-05-14T00:39:41+00:00

Yeah, forget that. 80 short years (give or take) on this planet and having to deal with that every single day? For fucking what? No thanks.

warinmymind94 · 2021-05-14T09:07:36+00:00

Kids probably learned it from an LVM dad, thinking that the woman will pick up after them. I seriously hope the mom though cracks down on the boys: no tv/video games/phones until they clean up their mess and do it right. Half assing or whining should result in extra time away from the video game/phone/tv. The dad needs to get on board too and out the fear of God in them to never let them leave a mess like that again.

That sink gave me flashbacks of my ex. He would just pile all his stuff and leave it for me in the sink. I would clean my stuff after using them right away. Not him. It would pile up so bad like that you could hardly get to the actual faucet. I would tell him you either clean your darn plates or you pay me money upfront since its not fair. Best believe he cleaned his plates then. Being a pickme and having to nag them and constantly snapping and hearing them whine and half ass stuff... it was so EXHAUSTING to be a pickme.

Meredeen · 2021-05-13T19:52:48+00:00

Time to ground the boys and take away their video game consoles and phones. "I expect you to regularly clean up after yourselves or when I ask you to (have a clear task list written or something), or else I'm taking your games for the week/weekend."

Sad that they don't respect her enough to just do it, but kids do respond to consequences. Whenever my cousin gets his video games taken away for bad grades, attitude, or whatever he smartens right up and puts in the effort. They also have him do yardwork when he's grounded. Kick those boys outside and tell them to get some shit done and maybe they can have their games back if they do a good job 🤷

DontBeerTheReaper · 2021-05-13T17:53:33+00:00

THIS is exactly why I will not have children. I love my husband to the ends of this earth, but this is my actual nightmare. Sorry not sorry, I like my own guilt free time.

the-worst- · 2021-05-13T16:13:24+00:00

As a woman with a husband who uses "I'm the only one who works" as an excuse to not watch the children alone or clean, and 2 toddlers who somehow inherited the spirit of fucking Houdini...

This post is a giant fucking mood. If I don't do LITERALLY EVERYTHING the work just builds up. I wish I hadn't been raised to be afraid of living alone and gave single, alone life a try. Because now I DREAM of how relaxing being alone without a husband or kids would be.

Just... The toilet wouldn't have pee all over it.

Dishes wouldn't pile up even if I don't eat. I could literally just wash as I go.

There wouldn't be a metric fuckton of diapers to contend with.

I could not have any junkfood in the house. At all. BOOM, zero access to my cravings so I could actually lose weight.

I could take a poop and not be lectured about how I'm "always pooping".

I could watch a show without worrying about if my daughter houdinied her way out of her crib.

I could actually write the novel I should have finished half a year ago without being told that it is a waste of time.

There wouldn't be several metric fucktons of laundry to keep up with.

Their wouldn't be a boatload of toys just hanging around.

I wouldn't have to lecture a full grown man about how it's unrealistic to exoect one person to handle the cleaning alone of the mess of four.

I would be able to get the dishwasher fixed and buy a portable washer so I don't have to carry clothes baskets up and down the stairs of my apartment.

I could apply to college without a grown man winging about how I have to help him apply for college first... I'm not your mother.

I could take a bath without being lectured about how long I took.

I could adequately contend with my ADHD in a healthy way without being expected to act like I'm "normal" while also being told all my methods of handling it are "worthless wastes of time" or being shamed for making lists, keeping a detailed planner, and setting many alarms.

I could talk about wanting to work without being lectured about how "you already can't handle the work you have at home" while also being lectured about how i should be applying him to college, be house hunting alone, being told I need to do more with the kids, and also expected to get his new streaming gear working despite neither of us understanding how ANY of it works...

Oh, and I could have friends without being accused of wanting to fuck them all since I'm bisexual.

xXMsLoveXx · 2021-05-14T01:56:07+00:00

One of the perks of living alone is you don’t have to consult anyone about rearranging and stuff like that, plus you don’t deal with things like this. Come on kids, do better! Let your mama relax!

wet-plants · 2021-05-15T00:39:51+00:00

I’ve only been on FDS a month or two and I’m totally rerouting my brain away from the “married with kids” lifestyle I always imagined for myself.

Its not worth it to me now that I see logic.

randowordgenerator · 2021-05-13T19:07:20+00:00

Didn't teach her children how to do things.

Wouldn't it be nice for us to have parenting classes? What age appropriate, healthy parenting looks like? And having children is a choice in the world we have. Children are treated like they're going to just know what to do, but that's the parents' job! Wouldn't it be great if parents knew something about human development? She fucking failed her children. Get those little finks moving when they're little and want to help. Then you can nap! and maybe they'll be happy adults.

ketodietclub · 2021-05-13T18:52:41+00:00

You'd think it was just men. Currently living through lockdown with a 19 yo daughter who is so messy I feel think tipping the damn bin over her head sometimes.

lyssnator · 2021-05-13T17:15:19+00:00

You’re both wrong. Parenting doesn’t have to be suffering like this. She has terrible boundaries and isn’t enforcing a strict rule set for the kids. She’s an enabler and doesn’t see where she’s wrong

OnlytheFantastical · 2021-05-13T18:50:13+00:00

Is anyone here married with kids ... BUT also have a cook/maid/nanny to assist with household management? I want kids but need this assistance for balance 😬

thelittlegirlblue · 2021-05-14T17:06:43+00:00

And why are t you raising your kids to be woke and aware of their privileges and responsibilities. I kept the kids and lost the scrote and just showed my kids what was expected of them as human beings. No one should have to pick up after you. No one is responsible for your mess but you.

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