When your husband sets a timer for how long you spend together each day

kortiz46 · 2022-01-14T12:33:31+00:00

Aside from the usual “my husband doesn’t care for me or our children” this man literally has a maximum timer set for 30 mins alone time with his wife. Like, I could not imagine being married to someone who clearly hates me so much

Waste-Win · 2022-01-14T14:00:48+00:00

Wait...this man goes out everyday while leaving his kids and injured wife alone, then come home and time their 30 mins of the day He can dedicate to her? The bar in on hell at this point.

FineDeliciousSnakes · 2022-01-14T13:21:17+00:00

Gosh I am so happy FDS saved me from a sad frustrating life like that

Catz10000 · 2022-01-14T13:59:42+00:00

Story time:

My LV ex was a professor. He was a sessional and wasn't rehired because of a series of complaints against him. One of the reasons was that he was overly familiar with everyone. In a seminar about sexual harassment he speculated whether women wear underwear under yoga pants. Dude, wtf?! He would demonstrate self defense moves on female coworkers (with their consent, of course 🙄) Dude, you're at work! He could never see why he was unprofessional.

He went to former students' weddings - I was always under the impression he would invite himself. He took great pleasure in advising young ladies about their relationships and sex lives. For those following, this is massively inappropriate. I found out some of these things when he dumped me.

There was a harassment complaint just at the time when one of his former students whom he had befriended, graduated. He would take this girl to self defense classes with him, and had her over for family gatherings. He advised her to break up.with her controlling boyfriend instead if advising her to see student services. She confided in me when she was moving across the country to do her Masters that she was glad she wouldn't see him again. I put 2 and 2 together and think the complaint came from her.

He has had a hard time getting any jobs, thankfully, I have heard.

His marriage fell apart for the same reason OP was frustrated. Never spent time with his wife or kids. "Worked" long hours and basically did what he pleased whenever he wanted. Relationships are work. You have to invest time.

My HV partner teaches the same subject. He has been at the same job for 25+ years and has never had a whiff of impropriety with any students. He doesn't ogle them; he sees them as children, and always has. He keeps his office door open when meeting with students, or does it online during strict office hours. I love his boundaries.

If they wanted to, they would. If they are HV, it will definitely show.

Fantastic--Living · 2022-01-14T14:45:57+00:00

Man dips out of relationship the moment a woman becomes sick or injured or needs the bare minimum from him. A tale as old as time, unfortunately. This poor woman, I hope her foot recovers and she drops this loser.

I swear to god, a viable tactic to get rid of a man is just become sick. It's that simple. Sick or injured and otherwise need something from him. It's even more effective at losing a man than breaking up with him. Yeah it's a crapshoot, he might not dip, he might stick around as dead weight, emotionally cheating like this individual. But the concept is the same. Stories like this are anti-heterosexual-relationship fuel and they are so common.

Buggy1218 · 2022-01-14T12:59:09+00:00

Oh absolutely the fuck not. How do women tolerate this shit? When it’s right before your eyes that your husband loathes you.

And she just threw that in there as a casual aside, like “he can only bare to spend half an hour with me a day, but let me go on about the real issue- a pretty young lady”.

NO MA’AM. The problem is the hates you, the pretty young girl is a symptom.

Muffcakelord · 2022-01-14T12:36:58+00:00

Why isn't this considered cheating or at least as bad as cheating? Neglecting your spouse like this should be considered the same if not worse

burritogirl101 · 2022-01-14T15:12:45+00:00

Honestly? Why bother. Why bother writing these posts when your husband has already checked out and couldn't give a fuck. The way women are conditioned to put up with this shit is insane. Like he has a TIMER OUT and you're just like "but I ask for so little". No. Ask for more. Don't let this shit happen to you.

vbych76 · 2022-01-14T13:03:17+00:00

I bet this is an age gap relationship.

sofarsoalive · 2022-01-14T14:05:35+00:00

I hope she alerts the university and the girls parents on her way out

Fuckdoesithurt956 · 2022-01-14T13:00:05+00:00

Looks like he's grooming her replacement. I really hope the advice she got was to leave.

Invisiblescars_123 · 2022-01-14T14:39:18+00:00

So many profs are LV. There’s a prof in my university who started HITTING ON MY MOM IN FRONT OF ME instead of tending to my queries. My mom takes excellent care of herself, so she looks as though she’s in her late 20s even though she’s near 50. This scrote of a prof asked if she wanted “private lessons” and told her she “must’ve been a child bride” if I was her kid. He proceeded to follow us around campus until we left.

elainejay82 · 2022-01-14T15:08:41+00:00

Is this girl married to my ex? Dude would put surfing/snowboarding before everything and I found out as I was breaking up with him that he had been meeting with a young girl to "coach" her at the library and that his work set this up. I never, ever believed this story for the record and by the time it came to light, I was already done with him. He kept these "meetings" secret for months.

This dude and I were engaged and I was living ex pat in Australia for him at the time. All I could see in my future is exactly what this girl is describing: pure neglect. As hard of a breakup as that one was (his job was moving us back to the U.S., we were in and out of company housing, moving to multiple territories in Aus, and calling off a wedding), I am still so fucking grateful that I never married him. It was the loneliest I've ever felt and he was the most neglectful man I've ever been with and I wouldn't wish that level of neglect from a partner on anyone. Eventually you feel like a ghost in your own house.

I hope she gets out!

_mooness · 2022-01-14T16:02:00+00:00

She knows he’s selfish. She knows he’s a worthless deadbeat husband who hates her and doesn’t even bother to hide it. She sees all of this, she’s angry, hurt, insecure, rejected, and devalued. Yet she stays. I wish I could just shake some sense into her and give her the strength to leave. I resent the wasted years and months women give to these dirtbag shitstain self serving twat males.

natalie2k8 · 2022-01-14T16:39:15+00:00

So I looked this woman up and it's so heart breaking. Her account is mostly about her art and the soap she makes. She such a good artist and seems like such a cool person.

But her foots been broken and healing for a year and she needs his insurance. She deserves so much more than him.

thangsnstufff · 2022-01-14T13:47:24+00:00

I'm physically nauseous after reading this. She's literally incapacitated, single handedly managing the house and kids...and he's cheating on her in the next room.

geologykitty · 2022-01-14T16:05:50+00:00

Sooooo aside from all the other massive abuse here, he definitely wants to fuck his former student. It's highly possible he already has.

Also, "kite surfing" 🙄 ... Girl, he is out cheating daily.

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2022-01-14T16:23:18+00:00

Oh are they calling it “kite surfing” now? Ok… 🪁🍆💦

704_furnished · 2022-01-14T15:37:14+00:00

I know this isn’t really related to this but this is EXACTLY why we shouldn’t be ohkay with initial small forms of absolute neglect and make excuses for men, saying “ I’m ok with it…” It’s just truly pathetic, escalates and putting up with little bullshit accumulates over time and this is what will happen. No man 99.9 percent does this out of the blue. He knows we will put up with it, that’s only when they pull such clown moves, months or decades later.

Formal_Student2959 · 2022-01-14T15:57:36+00:00

I also dated a professor once. While he wasn’t doing anything with students, he was extremely controlling. any time I went to hang with friends, he threatened to kick me out, hardly ever home but when he was, he just wanted sex all the time, and he would yell at me for making small $20 purchases when I worked too. I’m telling you, I rarely bought anything extra. I bought one item in months and got yelled at. I was having a ruptured cyst on my ovaries and he just sat there. Never had it before and I was curled up in a ball in pain on the floor. I have a pretty high pain threshold. I was microwaving leftovers right before it happened. He just sat on the sofa saying, “your food is ready.” While I’m have sweats from pain.

Yeah, get out OP.

Note: bad grammar, phone.

MsWriteNow07 · 2022-01-14T16:46:27+00:00

…There are no words. And men think we are afraid to be alone. Being alone would be an absolute pleasure compared to this

AnalgesicDoc · 2022-01-14T16:43:33+00:00

This man doesnt deserve a family. Poor kids. She should throw his ass out on the street.

SwampDwellingPirate · 2022-01-14T14:23:53+00:00

He's obviously cheating on his wife with the student. I'd bet an arm and a leg on this.

pinkpilledrecruiter · 2022-01-14T12:38:16+00:00

This guy is definitely planning on having a young college student as his new girlfriend so he can leave his wife. I imagine he is hideous though so it'd completely backfire on him.

Jane_72 · 2022-01-14T12:57:29+00:00

Kite surfing!! Yet he has no time to spend with his kids or cleaning the house. Plus he spends time talking with a female student. He obviously married a maid in his own mind. I know this type of guy so well, being a professor has made him think he’s a god. If she doesn’t divorce him she should hire a maid and a nanny and go back to school. She needs to stop letting him set all the terms.

Attheatelier · 2022-01-14T14:01:48+00:00

There's so much wrong in that one post, damn. Throw the whole man out, please. Yikes. I feel like I've known so many men like him, the professor who thinks he's a hot shot and too important to be doing anything besides whatever the hell he wants. Also it's pretty obvious that he's intending to cheat on her and groom the 20yr old. And her last comment about her being young and pretty like she used to be makes me believe that this is an age gap relationship.

I feel bad for her but she needs to gtfo of this marriage(prison)

ItsFreezen · 2022-01-14T16:48:26+00:00

Scrote husband probably begged her to quit her job or school to have kids and made a ton of promises. Now he trapped her with children and did the predictable GOTCHA.

SarcasmSlide · 2022-01-14T19:30:48+00:00

FaceTiming with his potential mistress in front of his wife is a special kind of bold.

eagleverest · 2022-01-14T16:36:46+00:00

And this, kids, is why we don’t have LVM’s children.

vividmagnet · 2022-01-14T14:14:21+00:00

I had this idea in my head that professors are good husbands, especially if they are in fields like psychology. This consolidates to me to never idealise any profession in a man.

AphoticEnigma_ · 2022-01-14T15:33:41+00:00

Even nuisance calls last longer than 30mins if you answer them

woadsky · 2022-01-14T16:38:43+00:00

A timer!! How insulting and humiliating and a display of not loving the OP.

lansburysoda · 2022-01-14T16:24:17+00:00

At this point why the fuck would any of us get married to and have children with these monsters

iacint · 2022-01-14T15:58:28+00:00

I bet he force his students to call for advices. So he would not do shit in house

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2022-01-14T17:37:38+00:00

Wow.

First, I hope she changes the wifi password immediately.

Second, hide his timer.

Third, start interviewing divorce lawyers.

AnniaT · 2022-01-14T20:20:32+00:00

She's had knee surgery and in huge pain, he's on holidays and she's still doing all the house chores and child caring?? And this scrote times the time he spends with her and probably flirting with a 20 year old student?? He hates her. She needs to leave him before it gets even worse!

The_Cat_Empress · 2022-01-14T17:17:27+00:00

This guy is not only cheating (emotionally for now) but he's making his wife feel unwanted, undesired and she even notices how pretty the younger women is...

Of course she's "pretty" because our society favors barely legal adults.

Like other comments say, this man hates her and is looking for a way out as soon as she needs more help because of her surgery. No different than the men who leave when their wives get cancer.

Disgusting!

preppykat3 · 2022-01-14T20:20:17+00:00

This is scary

Mysterious_Call_924 · 2022-01-15T02:31:34+00:00

Wow so she also knows that he's a creep or else she wouldn't have mentioned how he's helping a woman who is "young and pretty like I used to be." Barf. Hope she gets back on her feet in the literal sense and uses them to run away from him

missusbateman · 2022-01-14T14:05:31+00:00

I don't like to victim blame/shame but who the hell are these women that put up with this disrespect? He'd have my stiletto'd heel up his arsehole so fast he'd taste the shit on the sole and recover just in time to find his crap thrown out the front door. Bye bitch.

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2022-01-14T17:39:00+00:00

"Hi professor, I have a question: what's the point of men again?"

scorchedsouI · 2022-01-14T14:38:25+00:00

Men are so lucky to have idiots like this walking around. Say what you want about males, they'd never allow themselves to be treated like this.

sira1d · 2022-01-14T14:28:18+00:00

What is the reasoning behind posting this on Reddit? Surely this must be fake. Like why can’t she how fucked up her situation is? Why doe she have to rely on internet strangers to figure out she is being treated like a human trash bag?

FlockAroundtheClock · 2022-01-14T18:03:11+00:00

I would leave and go recover in a five star hotel until February and let him deal with the house and kids.

jijitsu-princess · 2022-01-15T20:33:40+00:00

I hope he gets crabs the first time he sleep with this student.

2022-01-15T04:08:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	When your husband sets a timer for how long you spend together each day
Author	kortiz46
Upvotes	1180
Comments	112
Date	January 14, 2022 12:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/s3rao4/when_your_husband_sets_a_timer_for_how_long_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/when-your-husband-sets-a-timer-for-how-long-you.1096273 https://theredarchive.com/post/1096273

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