It's stuff like this that makes me sick

zer0buscus · 2013-01-11T05:36:34+00:00

I honestly don't believe a rape crisis center would say that. I don't.

OThomson · 2013-01-11T01:32:41+00:00

Seems like my experience of talking to women about F on M Rape.

N64Overclocked · 2013-01-11T03:33:27+00:00

I have a friend who got drugged and raped by a woman. It happens, and it should be taken just as seriously as a woman being raped by a man.

Johnthereader · 2013-01-11T04:18:52+00:00

This is exactly why most men don't say a word if they get raped. It's common belief that it can't happen to us. We are the sex monsters, and only we can hurt someone this way.

sarcasmgal · 2013-01-11T07:49:49+00:00

The problem i have, as a woman who has been raped, is the men vs. women dichotomies. How about we all agree that rape is bad, no matter who perpetrates. And that we need to foster a society where we can talk about our experiences, without being told we're liars, or fantasizing, or misinterpreting.

How about we stop saying x's views are wrong because they were borm with one set of genetalia instead of another. Rape is wrong. No matter who did the raping.

And to the man who had to go through this, i'm so sorry. I wish i could tell you things are ok, things will get better - it hurts in so many ways, ways you didn't imagine possible. Just know that there are some who understand, and who will listen if you need it. Just know that whatever you're feeling, you're allowed to feel it, whatever it may be. Don't feel you need to feel what people tell you to feel, what you're "supposed" to feel in this situation. Find healing, in whatevee form presents itself. In my experience, it will be unexpected and scary, but i hope you find the strength to grow past this horrible experience.

This isn't about who has the penis, it's about who has the power, and who takes advantage of that power. And whoever takes advantage, they're wrong. Wrong. Full. Stop.

Man or woman, gay or straight, white or whatever colour you think is distinctive - we are all the same, we all feel, we are all vulnerable. Let's work together, not apart, to make this a better world for us all.

stringerbell · 2013-01-11T05:35:48+00:00

What makes you sick? People who lie about stuff on Reddit?

Because, that story just reeks of untruths.

For instance, no professional 'councellor' is ever going to scream at a patient, call them a liar and then kick them out. They get lied to all the time. So, one more isn't going to set them off and make them act entirely unprofessionally.

A Rape Crisis center isn't ever going to hang up on a victim. Even if they don't believe their story.

Even the story of the female friend reeks of lies.

The only one that might possibly be true is the last story.

Now, bring on the downvotes! I know how r/mensrights absolutely hates any comment that posits logic and questions the ideology around here.

alecbenzer · 2013-01-11T05:07:24+00:00

Does anyone else find such a violent reaction from three parties like this kind of hard to believe? If anything, I'd imagine people would just be more patronizing with stuff like "lol, dude, I don't think you were raped, you just had sex and didn't remember it" kind of stuff.

I guess I could imagine an SRS/rape-fetishist type reacting this way, but I don't know, maybe I'm just lucky (edit: with the people I know), but I can't imagine something like that going down in real life with a real person, especially a counselor.

Although I don't know, if the guy kept insisting that the other party recognize what happened to him as rape, I guess I can imagine the more violent reaction.

friestogo · 2013-01-11T01:38:24+00:00

He's posted his story on this sub before.

thisissonecessary · 2013-01-11T01:55:10+00:00

What thread was this posted in?

inastrangeroom · 2013-01-11T04:31:30+00:00

yo there was an episode of Law and Order where a gay man got raped by a bunch of women at a bachelorette party. I'll never forget. Pretty sure it was Zach Morris.

NintendoDestroyer89 · 2013-01-11T04:22:50+00:00

That is fucked up. Once when I was 18, I got waaaay too fucked up at a party in my own apartment and passed out. I woke up to 2 women in their late 20's high as fuck having sex with me. I thought it was awesome at the time honestly, but that shit does happen, and it's not a lie. Also, I never did black out. I remember going to bed in my bedroom and all while my room mate was watching everybody.

kaikaibean1324 · 2013-01-11T05:39:24+00:00

I'm taking an intro to criminology online for high school and I was reading one of the ebooks for the course and there was a section about rape and it talked about how a female raping a man was not considered rape, but merely sexual assault. I was very disgusted. Don't worry, not all women are like the one is this photo. No consent = rape in my book.

jinbaittai · 2013-01-11T06:50:03+00:00

Some people are just shitty - gender notwithstanding.

PantheraLupus · 2013-01-11T06:29:55+00:00

That's fucking disgusting. Women can be rapists too. Women can rape men, and they can rape women. And molest children. I'm sick of people thinking that women don't do these fucking things because they are just as capable. Hell, I had a fellow female try to rape me once. Ugh, this makes me so angry. M heart goes out to that guy, rape is something that's hard to deal with, let alone when everybody calls you a liar.

hambeastly · 2013-01-11T03:55:59+00:00

It's stuff like this that makes me want to sit all my girlfriends down for an educational presentation. I don't know this guy or if his version of events is entirely true, nor can I say the same for any female who says she's been raped, but I know that rape happens a lot, it happens to both sexes, it's committed by both sexes, and it's fucking horrible. I can't imagine going through that with the added challenge of being a male trying to get someone to just fucking listen and believe.

BrianAllred · 2013-01-11T05:26:42+00:00

This happened in that thread, too. When I submitted it to MR there were only two comments asking about the wife's consequences, but it didn't get much attention.

ForLoveOfHumanKind · 2013-01-11T06:41:29+00:00

It is sick that this happens and it happens more often than not. I have seen men get treated like this a great deal and it is not just with rape. It is with Rape, Domestic Violence, Child abuse (particularly if it is a teen male being abused), and by the police and or court officials when it comes to gaining rights to their children. I do not know how to change these things, but I do know that change MUST begin at home, we as parents both fathers AND MOTHERS must teach our children (regardless of gender) to respect one another. We must stop the lies and teach them that all these things happen to everyone, they do not just happen to females, they are not isolated incidents and we must put a stop to it.

~~I am a Woman, A Mother and a Wife, I love my children both Male and female and wish to see them treated as equals - true equals and that means that I don't expect anyone to bend over backwards for my daughter while they walk on my son.

logarythm · 2013-01-11T11:11:01+00:00

I'd take the story with a grain of salt.

ItalianRobot · 2013-01-11T02:33:30+00:00

1541 downvotes, how...

zuruka · 2013-01-11T07:04:47+00:00

Not very surprising. When you present a case that challenges people's preconceived notions of reality, some people would either get angry or ignore it altogether.

MutantPigletChild · 2013-01-11T08:29:36+00:00

I think we can all count our lucky stars that if it’s a legitimate rape, the male body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.

Reference: Professor of reproductive biology/Misouri Senator candidate Todd Akin.

x_digger · 2013-01-11T09:09:05+00:00

I hope I'm not too late in this thread! But...

I was wondering why the people that do accuse the victim of lying, usually respond with so much anger.

Now I totally understand WHY they believe men couldn't be raped etc. but, why exactly do they generally respond with so much emotion? Also, is it just a coincidence that these people (which I'll call accusers from now on) both respond with and AND hold their naive beliefs that men couldn't be raped?

Just a coicendence? Or is it possible that these women or sometimes men have been conditioned or abused to believe only men could rape? Is it possible that something happened in their earlier life, either it be them being abused by men, their mother being abused by their father, father cheating etc.

I'm just wondering, why we rarely hear of an accuser, carry the argument in a more logical and calm manner?

I really hope someone could answer, or shed light on why this is!!!

Ps. My personal take on this issue is that the accusers are the ones that either got raped by a man, or were abused, or they EVEN RAPED another person. I think it's also relatively easy for them to get away with their lies because society has conditioned us into thinking that women are delicate, kind, caring; while men are tough, aggressive, take what they want.

I'm excited to see some opinions!

MetalKeirSolid · 2013-01-11T13:47:27+00:00

Some people say women can't rape men because men always want sex, which is obviously blindly ignorant. Some say it's because women don't penetrate men in the traditional sense and they think men need to be enjoying it to have an erection. This is also not true.

Rape is the instigation of sex without the consent of the other party. Under that definition, yes women, you can rape people.

IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes · 2013-01-11T14:37:00+00:00

I've always wondered how that works when a man is raped, especially if a drug is involved.like do you actually get hard? do you get hard because you are in a different state of consciousness and you don't realize you are having sex with someone you are not interested in?

2013-01-11T06:11:52+00:00

Guy friends understand and give the situation the gravity it deserves. That said, I have a lot of female friends who are coming around. Even since 2007, I've noticed a shift in empathy. Don't lose hope. Things are changing and its going to help everyone.

WhatsMyName_Skip · 2013-01-11T07:19:15+00:00

I can't imagine anything quite scarier than one human gaining power over another human being with their genitals. Rape is intolerable in any matter. Those women should feel ashamed for assuming such things. Especially the psychiatrist. Even if, and just hear me out, even if he was joking, then she should ask "Why do you feel you need to make a joke out of such a serious matters?" I'm sure someone who finds that going to such lengths as to pay and open up to psychiatrist funny, would have some serious issues of their own. Look how we treat our men who are accused of rape and look how we treat our men how have been raped, then do the same for us women. But there is good in this world, and it's worth fighting for, Mr. Frodo. (Sorry, I just love that quote...) That is why there are 134 comments on this link, all expressing disgust and want of justice.

Cakesmite · 2013-01-11T08:09:35+00:00

Rape line hung up on him? What is wrong with this world!?

kungfukai · 2013-01-11T08:56:13+00:00

Holy hell, 1952 points and two reddit golds for that comment?

Where is the source of this comment?!

redninjette · 2013-01-11T09:33:36+00:00

I think stuff like this makes everyone sick. I've never met anyone who has said that men can't be raped. Not seriously, anyways. I'm sorry that you have.

lydocia · 2013-01-11T10:24:07+00:00

I'm a woman, but let me start off as a person: as a person, I find it horrible to believe a person could go as far as to assault/rape another person, yet I've been the victim of this and I'm very much aware that some people indeed do rape and do assault. Knowing this, it doesn't matter which gender the rapist/assaulter has, or which gender the victim has. People do this to people, period. Not men to women or women to men, but both.

I'm sorry that this happened to the OP specifically, and I'm sorry that this happens to anyone ever. :/

2013-01-11T10:35:36+00:00

As a female, stuff like this bothers me as well. Anyone can be a victim of rape; any gender, any age, any sexual orientation, any culture. It happens everywhere. The amount of truth in the above story is irrelevant to the topic. Somewhere, at some time, some male was raped and the only person to believe a woman would do it was a fellow man. That's the moral of the story, men can be raped just like a woman can. Either way, it should be taken seriously.

seedofcheif · 2013-01-11T11:47:29+00:00

"But misandry don't real"

                             - 90% of every person I know

2013-01-11T11:53:27+00:00

The counselor's reaction is disgusting. I've learnt we can expect this kind of behavior from some people in general and men will act the same in some situations too so I wouldn't say all women would react like this, but a professional who's job it is to comfort people in these situations reacting in that way is just... sigh.

Pufflehuffy · 2013-01-11T14:02:37+00:00

It's interesting, because any situation I've been in where there's been (I think it's called sensibility training, but can't remember the proper term - anyway, it's related to being away of different genders, races, ethnicities, sexual orientations, etc...) it's always been very clearly stated that men can be raped too, and by women. I can't believe this kind of training isn't more prevalent.

hagen0 · 2013-01-11T14:21:16+00:00

How did he know it was a woman?

bigmanhook · 2013-01-11T15:02:24+00:00

TIL r/MensRights exists

Bearaffe · 2013-01-11T15:47:30+00:00

While I understand and sympathize, consider: woman rapes man: omg I've been raped I feel so violated! Man rapes woman: omg I've been raped and I feel so violated! Plus my insides have been ripped out and I may be pregnant with my rapists baby!

techiejames · 2013-01-11T15:51:16+00:00

I hate it how if a woman cries rape, the guy is instantly guilty until proven innocent (hello Crystal Mangum). However, when its the other way around, shit like this happens. Thank God this has never happened to me; glad you have good friends you can talk to about it.

mojokabobo · 2013-01-11T16:17:16+00:00

I was raped by a girl once. I was young and completely trashed drunk. There was no way in HELL that I would have ever slept with this girl, and she KNEW that. Well, on this day, I was blackout drunk, and she basically hopped onto me, and I was so stupid drunk that I went for it..

No biggie, I don't really remember much of it (the last thing that I remember thinking was, "I wonder how far I can stick my tongue in there"). I still dunno if I would classify taking advantage of someone who is still functioning yet completely trashed as 'rape', but I sure felt like I had been 'kinda raped'.

EZrEYEdr · 2013-01-11T18:18:14+00:00

Reactions like that hurt the gender equality that women have fought for through the decades.

JockeVXO · 2013-01-11T19:48:45+00:00

I think that the way he describes his male friend's treatment of him is the best part.

He explained that he was there for him, then it was business as usual. No coddling, no special treatment. I think that this is vital to getting past somethign like that. They haven't changed so don't treat them any differently from how you usually treat them.

Sieg118 · 2013-01-11T04:51:31+00:00

I had a feeling this was going to end up here

UnoriginalMike · 2013-01-11T05:02:20+00:00

That whole thread is full of fuck

rsgamby · 2013-01-11T08:51:56+00:00

I knew a guy who was sedated after a surgery and while he was under, he was raped. The woman who raped him got pregnant with twins and now after a long legal battle he is not allowed to see his kids.

onlyasith · 2013-01-11T10:06:52+00:00

ok so i empathize with anyone who is a survivor of sexual assault or rape, but isn't this anecdotal evidence. There are many women who will be good friends and offer support to male rape survivors. I think the main problem feminist have with MRA is that they discount and discredit women who feel like rape survivors, saying that the circumstances in which where they were rape don't qualify as 'legitimate rape'. I think in MRA didn't make such an effort to constantly show that women on occasion make illegitimate accusations of rape, the feminist community would be much more open to open a dialogue about instances of males being raped by women.

I guess what I'm saying is the same reason this post makes so many MRA is what makes women frustrated about MRA posts about what rape really is, offering advise saying ask your friends if you are legitimate in your claim of rape, saying if they don't agree, you are probably over-reacting/ lying. Just a thought.

p.s. I hope the man in the post now has a supportive group of friends who never doubt him in his claims, which can only serve to further silence the victim.

I would add, that there are really no excuses for the behavior of the women who discredit this man's assault. This is perhaps the most hurtful way to treat a survivor.

tomega · 2013-01-11T10:19:29+00:00

Psst: It wasn't a woman.

blipblipbeep · 2013-01-11T10:27:59+00:00

So, your saying that when a girl dose not like or can't relate to anything a man says, she will turn off, down vote you, call you a lire and never speak to you again.../s

Seems legit... fair bump, play on...

My heart goes out to you bro...

EDIT: clarity

DangerDick26 · 2013-01-11T12:51:50+00:00

I have been raped by a few different girls. I feel like women rape men a lot more than women get raped by men. It isnt scary for them to do, nobody calls it rape when a woman does it, and the fact that it has happened to me so many times and I don't know any men that have raped a woman leads me to believe that.. They know what they did and have shame after, but its always justified quickly with "Men always want sex, I was doing him a favor" or some bullshit like that. I mean, whether its a man saying "no I dont want to" and or a woman, it shouldn't matter. Saying "I'll make it quick" while slowly sliding me into you and riding me until you get off when I obviously do not want to is rape.

2013-01-11T14:00:29+00:00

yeah swallowing a lot of bullshit would make me sick as well

SuperSaiyanNoob · 2013-01-11T19:02:57+00:00

Everyone knows a man can't get a boner while unconscious.

2013-01-11T19:53:53+00:00

Saw the comment too and was thinking the same thing.

lordfransie · 2013-01-11T21:35:18+00:00

This happened to a fraternity brother of mine.

npthu · 2013-01-11T07:22:47+00:00

Only men can bring happiness to each other...

Atheistus · 2013-01-11T12:46:06+00:00

being raped by an ugly chick is the worst thing that could ever happend to a man.

StackDeezNuts · 2013-01-11T19:10:57+00:00

Women are whores. How low they go doesn't surprise me

duchovny · 2013-01-11T11:51:58+00:00

gdotes · 2013-01-11T12:56:10+00:00

This male rape you speak of.... Is there a particular place it's happening?? And at what time????

hardrider2k4 · 2013-01-11T09:25:45+00:00

lucky fella

FascistSpaceDeer · 2013-01-11T04:18:41+00:00

I am extremely undereducated about this event, which is would assume does not happen that often but...

Wouldn't a man just... not get hard? I mean if I imagine the scene in my head I just couldn't think of getting an erection.

giegerwasright · 2013-01-11T04:14:49+00:00

It isn't just rape. Women are taught, and fully internalize, the idea that they are completely incapable of doing any wrong and that they are completely and totally entitled to the fulfillment of any and all whim.

Rape is just a small symptom of that problem. We need to address the root cause. Not the symptoms.

2013-01-11T13:09:35+00:00

The fuck? How can you even be raped as a man? You wouldn't get a stiffy if it wouldn't turn you on, right? On the other hand: What's the matter? You can't get pregnant, you weren't beaten so up where is the problem? It's not like you'd have any reason to be scarred for life now.

SenorSpicyBeans · 2013-01-11T06:04:07+00:00

This sub is turning from /r/MensRights into /r/rape at an alarming rate.

Title	It's stuff like this that makes me sick
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1991
Comments	385
Date	January 11, 2013 1:23 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/mensrights/comments/16cn1e/its-stuff-like-this-that-makes-me-sick/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/its-stuff-like-this-that-makes-me-sick.1603837 https://theredarchive.com/post/1603837

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