People here exaggerate the hate that age gap relationships get. If you're so sensitive that a few comments get you then don't be in an age gap relationship

Joelypoely88 · 2024-01-09T11:43:37+00:00

Well I do agree with you that very few people care that much (I'm 28 and my GF is 53, we haven't received any disdain from others), though I'm not sure what the exact premise/proposition/claim is you are trying to debate here.

obviousredflag · 2024-01-09T11:41:42+00:00

People here exaggerate the hate that age gap relationships get

It's people who are not in relationships, yet alone age gap relationships. It's still their revenge fantasy to date a younger woman and they already fight the imaginary discussions they would have with the internet feminists. Because that is what gives them a feeling of power. They enjoy telling old women, who in their imagination, are sooo hurt by them choosing imaginary younger women, how they are just insecure and ugly. It's just a play on reversing roles, because they get told by young women now, that they are just insecure and ugly. To even engage in these topics is stroking their egos.

I am a 30 yo woman dating someone 13 years older. Literally nobody cares.

I am a 39 yo man, dating someone 13 years younger. Literally nobody cares.

Creation_Soul · 2024-01-09T12:01:25+00:00

IRL nobody will try to break up people who are in age gap relationships (of course, we assume consenting adults). But what does happen is showing concern for the younger party, like taking them to a 1-on-1 discussion to make sure they are ok, they are not pressured in any way etc

thetruthishere_ · 2024-01-09T16:19:00+00:00

I never hear about it outside this sub. LOL

hot_garbage_fire · 2024-01-10T08:55:47+00:00

Does this only get brought up to you online?

I'm 40 yo man who was dating a woman 12 years younger than me until late last year. Stuff people say online never really bothered me but the stuff people would say to me in person definitely made me feel like what I was doing was wrong. Mostly women would make subtle comments inferring that I should grow up and date someone my own age, or that I was very hurtfully just using her. Even my own mother and her sisters made similar comments.

Most men didn't seem to care, however every now and then one or a group of them would congratulate me in some way for "bagging a young one" or something that felt similar, which also made me feel like I was doing something wrong.

RorschachRosettes · 2024-01-09T15:51:19+00:00

Unless you're dating a literal teenager

And there you go lol. That's why many of them complain as loud as they do. They want to act like creeps without having the face the social repercussions of being one.

I've expressed it several times over, unless you are in your 30s and seeking to be in a relationship with a literal teenager or an adult who can't legally drink, I don't give a rat's ass. On the contrary, I encourage women who are 23+ to seek older men if they establish a family because the men in their age group are wholly unlikely to

a) want a family and

b) have the finances to do it

THE ONLY THING about the age gap conversations that make me laugh is when the guys insist that younger women like older men for their looks and sexual prowress when....I'm sorry, but nothing compares to the abs, stamina, and rock hard dick of a man in his mid 20s. Younger women aim for older men due to their financial and emotional stability, stop deluding yourselves that its anything but. If you weren't hot and fucking like an animal in your mid-20s it is HIGHLY unlikely that you're going to somehow become more desirable or improved in those areas in your 40s. Get a grip.

I will also add that a lot of these guys probably face a lot of backlash because no one is really critical of an age gap relationship when the older person is successful and financially secured, but it becomes extremely suspicious and open to criticism if they're broke.

captaindestucto · 2024-01-09T11:29:19+00:00

Age gap neuroticism is largely driven by angry, perpetually online, unhappy women terrified of experiencing life as average men do (i.e. sexually invisible). They drive it because older man/ younger woman relationships represent declining options for them and a loss of relevance as they age.

Normal people who managed to find partners when they were young don't care as much and make more cautious judgements (unless the younger party is an adolescent).

AlmostKindaGreat · 2024-01-09T19:46:00+00:00

Basically agree.

If you're responding to some loud guys on here who say that surely all women hate older men dating younger women (with the heavy suggestion that only young women are attractive in order to try to bait people) then yeah, I wish they would shut up. Seriously boring and redundant content.

That said, among "normal" people there still is a bit of a stigma around it. In your case you probably are old enough that almost nobody cares. Regardless, I agree you should do what you want. You almost certainly will not face any negative consequences other than the possibility of some gossip.

MyHouseOnMars- · 2024-01-09T14:00:31+00:00

Absolutely agree

I think people don't understand it's not that every AGR is abusive, they are potentially abusive. But if you are fine then that's it.

(or people here need something to argue about so they act offended)

Safinated · 2024-01-09T15:23:27+00:00

Most people who complain aren’t in one. They want it to be easier for them to get into one

relish5k · 2024-01-09T16:12:02+00:00

I really don’t understand what’s so difficult about half your age + 7. It always works.

Adventurous_Track784 · 2024-01-09T17:07:10+00:00

I’m 35f dating 56m and no one gives a shit. It’s hot

gntlbastard · 2024-01-09T16:27:40+00:00

Is it exaggerated? Probably. Is there verifiable evidence of old broads being butt hurt about it? Absolutely.

KayRay1994 · 2024-01-09T15:24:39+00:00

The conversation is always an iffy one. Some people have issues with age gaps as a whole, and I do take issue with these people. However, once you’re a fully established adult age gaps don’t matter at all. It is worth noting too, any two given age gaps are not the same.

For example, 20 and 30 is creepy, and so is 22 and 42, for example, but 28 and 41, for example, is totally fine - as is 30 and 50.

The difference is young people who arent exactly established adults yet don’t have the expected conventional wisdom or general knowledge to understand what exactly is going on, and while this is a broad generalization (ex. the occasional very mature 22 year old might be fine with a 32 year old), it is generally true.

It is also worth noting, as the older person, what are YOU doing targeting people in their early 20s or younger? like as the older person, you should know better.

Rach1943 · 2024-01-09T20:58:32+00:00

Im a 38/male how casually dated/hooked up with women around the age of 24-26 quite frequently last year. they pursued me. they knew how old I was. and they were fine with it.

they are also apparently old enough to drive a car, rent their own place/pay bills, be in graduate school, and in one case perform surgery on patients.

but no, when they date an older guy like me their judgement goes out the window and I'm taking advantage of them.

/s

Pristine-Can3719 · 2024-01-09T12:28:11+00:00

It is only older women who are sensitive and judge it and we all know the reasons.

Natural-Sun1850 · 2024-01-09T15:08:24+00:00

Feminists want to raise the age of consent to 21, among other things. They’re not just making comments, they want to curb your personal freedom and use the force of law to tell you what to do.

No_Hunter4484 · 2024-01-09T10:55:31+00:00

The Problem is 40 year old men taking away 16 year old Girls because they read something on Wattpad.

katecard · 2024-01-10T04:40:35+00:00

People care. A lot of women in their 20s especially are looking at your relationship and thinking it's gross and weird. Would they say anything to you about it? Hell no. Would they flat out lie and pretend it's nice if they were ever asked? Yes.

The internet is anonymous and you can say what you want without making things awkward. I HATE age gap relationships. Hate hate hate. Is there any chance I would tell this? Haha, no. I would just act casual and treat you like normal and you'd have no idea that I think your boyfriend is gross.

mysterious_123 · 2024-01-09T16:17:14+00:00

Of course nobody cares, because it’s more common in the real world. These issues on twitter are perpetuated by shut-ins and trolls, just like op said.

In reality, adults are gonna vide with each other, mate, date, marry, etc. and don’t have all of these strict dating guidelines you see online.

GlamSunCrybabyMoon · 2024-01-10T00:56:10+00:00

It doesn’t really make a difference 30+. You’re more likely to have it together by then. It makes a big difference in the 18(or younger)-25 range because they are more vulnerable to financial abuse.

Also with dating people in the 18-25 range there’s very much a maturity issue a lot of the time. You’ll hear the older party complaining about things the younger party does and it’ll be regular teenage or early 20’s nonsense. Don’t date people in their teens and early 20’s and then be shocked when they’re not responsible enough.

ComfortableJeans · 2024-01-09T12:54:06+00:00

Ehh, I mean, the reality is that no one really gives a shit about things that don't effect them. Especially as they get older.

Not just in terms of relationships either.

Unless we have direct ties and relations to one another, I don't care what anyone is doing.

I'm only 29, and I struggle to care about some things I should care about because life is so fucking stressful and difficult. Never mind someone elses relationship.

If the 52 year old bloke down the street was dating a 23 year old, not a single part of me would care at all.

terminallytshooting · 2024-01-09T18:13:10+00:00

No, you've been taken advantage of and have no agency. He groomed you, you're just too vulnerable and innocent to understand

/s

bifewova234 · 2024-01-09T19:13:23+00:00

If somebody says things that make you feel bad then it was your fault for being too sensitive. These are just words. If mere words are making you feel bad then there's something wrong with you. Why don't you just get over it and see a therapist? If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. You knew what you were getting in to. Besides, it's a good thing that people say all these mean things. It's good because there's a greater good to it. Good things come of it. Like all that grooming that supposedly doesn't happen because of the mean things people say. You see, being mean to people who don't deserve it somehow saves the children from the bad people. It really does.

VTHokie2020 · 2024-01-09T23:29:26+00:00

I agree with this, but your age gap relationship won't get hate. You're 30.

The hate usually comes when one of the parties is 18-25 and the other is older. Typically the woman is the younger one.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2024-01-09T14:02:14+00:00

“Unless you are (trying to) dating a literal teenager”

And right here is your answer in the question

lacuti3 · 2024-01-09T11:38:45+00:00

Ppl in large age gap relationships are forcing it. I can never connect with guys more than 5 years older or 5 years younger than me. Some women just like feeling & looking younger when dating a much older guy, it’s an ego thing. They think they’re the prize. They value their ego over connecting.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-01-09T16:24:19+00:00

It's not my outlook on things that matters, but rather the outlook of the woman who may have people trying to sabotage her happiness by convincing her an age gap is wrong. There are many examples around of women who basically get coerced by their shitty friends into leaving perfectly good relationships, all due to an age gap.

PowerGlove-it-so-bad · 2024-01-09T15:43:00+00:00

Age gap is good. If I had a daughter who was 18 I'd rather here she was dating someone close to 30 than 20 given the typical 20 year old boys I see out there today. Not all of them but far too many.

boom-wham-slam · 2024-01-12T01:33:40+00:00

I'm 37 and my gf is 21 and we get lots of shit. She acts like a barbie doll and little home maker though so she also gets hate on for being supported by her boyfriend.

We're pretty out and about and meeting people though so it comes up in front of many people more than most. It's generally women hating on her. Or women hit on me and then get mad when they see she's my gf.

Hardly any men say anything mean but once in awhile.

Thin-Ad8029 · 2024-01-10T02:51:30+00:00

Go to the datingover40 sub and see how bitter the women are there against men in general and especially when men want to date younger. They flip out. Sadly, I think it’s their fear of no longer being desired. They cope heavily and brag on each other about how many young men want them. It’s sad to watch but easily predictable.

Ultimately, nobody wants to feel irrelevant. Many women spend most of their lives feeling valued by being desirable so when that starts to vanish and they are single, it hits hard. They tend to lash out against men their own age for desiring a younger version of themselves. It’s brutal but they become so nasty that it’s hard to sympathize with them. Their negativity fuels men’s reasoning for going younger.

Sadsad0088 · 2024-01-10T04:35:16+00:00

I’ve met lots of people around 20 years old IRL are insane about age gap relationships in the UK, it’s crazy.

Like 17-19 is looked down upon and highly shamed

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rakiim · 2024-01-09T18:07:52+00:00

It's likely people in their friend group that are judging them for it, especially if they are from liberal spaces in co-ed friend groups. It's likely in reality that they are not that sensitive to strangers comments on Twitter; rather, having people you've been friends or family with for years making snipes at you would wear them down.

Yes, the premise still holds that if a few comments bother you then you shouldn't be in it, but in an ideal world, people would prefer to stay with the partner they are attached to while also keeping the friends and family they were attached to before the relationship, while the relationship is ongoing.

macone235 · 2024-01-09T18:20:22+00:00

I disagree. Most people definitely care, but the older the woman is, then the less it matters. Most people aren't going to go up to you in public and call you a creep either even if they look down it or think you're creepy.

McTitty3000 · 2024-01-09T18:27:39+00:00

Unless you're dating a literal teenager or there's a weird dynamic going on

You just did the thing 🤣🤣🤣🤣

WeirdInsect6571 · 2024-01-10T01:05:03+00:00

Only applies if it’s a man dating an older woman or a man who doesn’t date women younger than he is unless he himself is still a young man otherwise if a man say in his mid to late thirties so much as even dares to talk to a young woman he will get roasted 💯by the young crowd especially but also by some people in his own generation

TigerBiting_A_Katana · 2024-01-10T01:09:13+00:00

If an AGR works, then it works. Who cares what society says otherwise. I’m in an AGR (older than my GF) and I’d say our relationship is stronger than that of a lot of my friends/family. Chemistry is chemistry.

thisreallyisnotok · 2024-01-10T02:43:08+00:00

I am starting to meet zoomer women in their early/mid 20s who do seem to have a mental age of someone 18-19.

There are levels to it imo. Is it rape if you have sex with an 18 yo if you are an independent adult? No. If there was a relationship, would the relationship be very likely to be exploitative and unethical? Absolutely.

So my standard for someone I’d be comfortable having sex with is 18+2 years of living away from family. Imo you need that experience to be able to make decisions for yourself without being scammed more or less. And two years is probably the bare minimum. Hooked up with someone 19 once and it may have messed me up a little bit tbh.

That said women who want casual relationships in their early 20s if anything are rational to go after older men. If the terms are clear, then the man is less likely to exploit the woman imo because of his financial independence. And his sexual experience also makes it more logical. Many young men are over eager and violate boundaries and make women feel uncomfortable.

DoinIt989 · 2024-01-10T03:13:38+00:00

I think it's very much how you were raised/what you were used to. Age gap relationships were pretty uncommon in my extended family (max of like 5 years), so it was always viewed as "kinda weird".

Weekly-Ad9867 · 2024-01-10T07:23:35+00:00

I am an older woman who loves dating younger men. I agree that nobody cares when a woman like yourself dates an older man. But I have met a few people in person who get outraged at an older woman dating a man 10-20 years younger than her. The people outraged at me have been dysfunctional narcissistic women who couldn't attract a young man. Both women were verbally abusive and had outdated views on sex/dating. Their romantic lives weren't successful. They were pushing me to date older men (bc they liked older men), but I wasn't having it.

Men in my life and other secure people could care less about who I date. Maybe a better way to put it is that regular people don't care about age gap relationships. You get the toxic ones offline who will say something about it and try to sabotage it.

flipsidetroll · 2024-01-10T15:13:40+00:00

Of course they exaggerate it. Cos it makes them seem so edgy to be hated. Your friends won’t give a shit and neither will his. Why? Cos it’s FA to do with anyone else.

Realistically though, most 19 yr old girls are pretty grossed out by older men. Sure, some aren’t, but most are. And there is one little medical thing the Rp carefully ignores and actively pretends the opposite. They love to push that men can have babies till death but women dry up and become eggless. But, after 40, men have a 20% to 30% chance of passing on genetic mutations from aging sperm. After 45, up to 45%, after 50 they have a 60-70% chance of passing on mental health disorders, most notably schizophrenia, with Bpd second. So men go through the same degradation as women with age.

harmonica2 · 2024-01-10T15:49:10+00:00

I'm in an age gap relationship and I don't think I'm insensitive about the remarks I get about it but I'm just really baffled by how people assume that the relationship must have arisen from the most unethical of circumstances.

It's like seeing someone with a nice car and then assuming the car must have been stolen and there's no other way.

SillyMushroomTip · 2024-01-10T17:43:36+00:00

People can't stay in their lane. If someone wants to date someone you get by all means , if you want to date someone older go for it.

No one bats an eye when an older chick dates a younger man but other way around your a POS

thatguywhosadick · 2024-01-11T05:04:29+00:00

From what I’ve seen age gaps are viewed as a bigger issue when the couples are younger or one person is still young enough to be seen as “in development” as a person.

Like a 10 year gap means something very different when it’s a 30 year old dating a 40 year old. Vs a 20 year old dating a 30 year old.

By 30 most people are considered to be fully mature in terms of mentality, personality and emotional maturity, as well as far enough along in their careers to be capable of taking care of themselves on their own.

But someone who’s 20 is often viewed as barely an adult and usually still getting their education. Not someone fully capable of taking care of themselves or being completely developed/mature.

Personally I’m in my mid/late 20s and I don’t really have any interest in dating a woman below 23. I find I don’t have much in common with girls younger than that, as they lack life experience, are often still in school, and can’t easily empathize with the day to day problems of being a working adult.

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