Why are we glorifying doing normal adult things

Egoistchan · 2024-01-15T20:38:53+00:00

I feel that way when I see tradwife content. "I love to cook and clean and nuture my family" most adults literally do this without making it their sole identity.

Mitago1 · 2024-01-15T21:06:11+00:00

I think most men and women do those things, minus maybe working out.

I've no idea from where did the stereotype that men don't cook or clean come from, but at least from my experience the men around me and myself included do all of those things and more.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2024-01-15T23:15:08+00:00

I'll be honest, many women I've dated don't meet that standard. Plenty of girls have mental health issues today and that makes them struggle to be a normal adult. I've seen very dirty apartments.

so the basics aren't the basics for everyone. That guy made healthy meals at home, that's already a rare trait. Hence we glorify it, cuz we need to.

I've had guy friends who didn't meet that as well. Just smoked weed and lived on welfare. At least their rooms were clean tho.

Blue_Robin_04 · 2024-01-15T23:05:55+00:00

You'd be surprised what percentage of the population is actually extremely lazy and mostly a failure.

Neptune-Jnr · 2024-01-16T02:36:25+00:00

You're missing the point. That guy is a stay at home husband. The women in that comment section are just saying they wouldn't hate having a partner that does all that stuff even if he had no job and they were the breadwinners.

demedermidimi · 2024-01-15T20:21:47+00:00

that video is more like 'look at me i'm in an unusual relationship give me likes and clicks' than glorifying

KayRay1994 · 2024-01-15T20:34:21+00:00

I think its the fact that most times, boyfriends and husbands don’t do this very basic and easy stuff, whether it be outright refusing to or weaponized incompetence - and to add to this, in this sub many men go on and on about cooking and cleaning being feminine and wifely duties.

TWCDev · 2024-01-15T20:40:35+00:00

I agree. I do all those things, make 200k a year, it's just normal. However, the bar is super low, and I especially think that as you go into less metropolitan areas, guys get more and more "traditional" (as in lazy), so these kinds of videos are probably good just to help establish what being a good partner is. I don't think it's bad to celebrate all kinds of good partners, men and women, even if all partners should aspire to be "good", obviously m any people aren't.

Dull_Result_3563 · 2024-01-15T23:06:30+00:00

How is it not obvious? He doesn't just cook, clean and hang out with friends. The video and the post were about him being a stay at home husband, did you miss that part somehow? What's "impressive" is his and his partners comfort in trumping gender norms and showing it to the Internet.

JadeGrapes · 2024-01-15T23:54:48+00:00

You'd be shocked how many people are failing to act grown

cel-shaded · 2024-01-16T08:35:53+00:00

Because more people than you think do not have those skills, both women and men, don't do those things. In men particularly, they are not skills that matter, more like a bonus. As long he is attractive, he'll find someone. Just being handsome is 20% of men, being attractive and having "adulting" skills is even rarer.

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2024-01-15T20:52:40+00:00

I don't think 'we are' gloryfing anything. I think people make videos for views, and the stupider the video the more views and comments it gets.

I can't stand the infantile female vids like that too. Omg, I woke up. Omg I made bed. Omg I put fruit into blender.

And here I am ranting about this stupid shit, so I guess it works

Electronic_West_1831 · 2024-01-15T20:28:15+00:00

He’s a stay at home house husband, which is far from normal

Havel68 · 2024-01-15T21:38:05+00:00

I suppose for some people they might meet people who can't do those things, I agree being able to keep a clean home, cook healthy food, look after yourself, hold down a job or raise your kids is like the bare minimum anyone should be doing.

LoopyPro · 2024-01-15T22:13:25+00:00

There's nothing impressive about a person pulling 50% of the overall weight in a household of two. What that 50% consists of is irrelevant. I'd start being impressed when someone pulls more than 50%.

daddysgotanew · 2024-01-16T11:25:03+00:00

It’s not. It’s the gold standard for Chad. Women don’t care about regular men, and Chad can do whatever he wants and still get laid. Hence that ridiculous thread about men washing their ass or whatever it was. That’s hilarious to think some dudes can be so gross but so good looking that they get away with stuff like that anyway.

I remember the first time a really pretty girl looked at me and told me she didn’t shower every day. That is subhuman. I never looked at her the same after that. Fucking disgusting.

WhiteLotusGauntlet · 2024-01-15T20:22:32+00:00

It's glorifying the woman not needing to do those things.

She doesn't need to cook or clean or run errands or do the tedious work of updating flight reservations or take any agency in the relationship, just react to acts of emotional support by the man.

It's a relationship dynamic where in exchange for having an income the woman is cared for as if she were a child. Of course the women on here loved it.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2024-01-16T02:13:34+00:00

Forgive me if I’m wrong, but isn’t this just called being an adult? I do all of that plus a hell of a lot more, and work a 40-hour a week job making a fantastic income. I never thought to myself “I deserve a gold star”. Isn’t that just being an adult?

That's what I'm saying, yet way to many women want a gold star for it as well.

SmallSituation6432 · 2024-01-15T20:26:11+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0B_ekSrsEk

Yeah mate, peoples expectations of themselves, especially men, seems really fucking low.

Really though, that's all you should need to do in a relationship. It doesn't need to be some dramatic bs that overtakes your life.

kkkan2020 · 2024-01-15T21:33:07+00:00

The bar has gone down....like a lot

gntlbastard · 2024-01-15T21:43:39+00:00

You'd be amazed how many people have no idea how to do any of those things.

apresonly · 2024-01-15T22:08:53+00:00

because life is hard and romanticizing life is healthy and makes life worth living.

wait until you discover poetry bro.

hylander4 · 2024-01-15T23:27:54+00:00

The impressive part isn't that he cooks, cleans, works out, and hangs with friends. I think most men do all of those things to some degree. The comments here saying otherwise strike me as somewhat bigoted and hateful.

The impressive thing is that he presented his life in a way that made it look like he'd adopted the role of a dutiful 1950s housewife, but as a man. Everything he did was to support his partner. Even his going to the gym made me think...''I'm going to the gym so I can look good for her.'' To me he comes across as totally submissive. He has no life of his own. His wife's life is his life.

It takes some cajones to appear proud of this lifestyle as a man. Because other men are certainly going to give him a lot of shit for it.

his_purple_majesty · 2024-01-15T20:59:00+00:00

Women's standards are simultaneously insanely high and abysmally low.

They want you act as though your dialogue was written by a professional screen writer and delivered as though you were a Hollywood actor, but then they're impressed if you're not a sociopath or you wash your ass.

OtPayOkerSmay · 2024-01-16T01:06:20+00:00

My take on that video: The ultimate simp. Just a personal chef and maid, not furthering his own career at all so he will probably be gone and moving back in with his parents the second she finds hedge-fund theatre-chad to monkey-branch to. So purposeless that he's seeking validation on tiktok. Yikes. It looks like it's probably a high-school sweetheart arrangement, but there are definitely a lot of things we don't know - at a glance, I can't see that relationship lasting.

In case you haven't noticed, we've set up this weird societal pattern of rewarding people who don't necessarily deserve it; and part of that is giving gold stars for everything down to just being a basic human being.

Safinated · 2024-01-15T21:07:32+00:00

Because the bar is actually that low

IMO it’s almost as much women’s fault for it as men’s. Yeah, it sucks that your man sucks, but you also suck for putting up with it

januaryphilosopher · 2024-01-15T20:16:46+00:00

This is not the kind of thing men usually do at home, especially when partnered. The bar for men here is low, so praise is easy to get.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2024-01-15T22:19:00+00:00

because when men get a wife or GF they stop doing all those adult things for themselves

yvaN_ehT_nioJ · 2024-01-15T21:38:31+00:00

I'm reminded of a tweet I saw yesterday:

If link doesn't load, text is

This is because women’s discernment for mates is predicated on the assumption that their fathers are weeding out the obvious losers and sociopaths.

iPanda_ · 2024-01-15T22:57:03+00:00

It is, unfortunately the bar is very low for most men and it seems a majority of women get excited if their basic relationship needs are met

MailenJokerbell · 2024-01-16T08:19:58+00:00

It's because the bar for men is all the way down to the pits of hell.

There's countless women out there having some hobo boyfriend living at their place while she works and all he does is play videogames or some bs.

Clementinequeen95 · 2024-01-15T21:28:42+00:00

I hate to tell you this but many men do not cook, clean, have any friends or work out. Notably the cooking and cleaning is somewhat rare. The bar for many men is low when it comes to that.

GeneralFig6053 · 2024-01-15T22:33:47+00:00

A lot of the time when men get into relationships they stop doing all this and leave the full responsibility to women. So yes this is what women find attractive. A responsibility man. Especially when their partner goes from acting like an adult to a child. It’s not so hard to understand the appeal.

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LowCreddit · 2024-01-15T20:54:37+00:00

Normal isn't actually normal. It's an ideal that we all chase. We all want to be perfect adults, but we aren't.

HeatAlternative6843 · 2024-01-15T21:13:49+00:00

Like someone said in the other thread, this is just kind of silly if there are no kids involved. Regardless of gender, this isn't a lot of work if the couple doesn't have kids and I can't really see how you could justify one person doing this while the other has a full time job. I feel like the video is ragebait, because it's just a laughably small amount of work. In all probably like 2-3 hours and a lot of that shit doesn't even need to be done every day. "Changed our flights"--Cool dude.

Weusandco · 2024-01-15T23:18:38+00:00

Salient point yet I perceive it to be more celebrating the attitude towards home being the cornerstone upon which all else is built - not the menial tasks involved.

Refreshing to hear such priorities from young women today.

Netheral · 2024-01-15T23:23:38+00:00

I never thought to myself “I deserve a gold star”

Why not though? Why not praise yourself for holding it together? Like, putting the gender politics aside, and looking at it from a more just general mental health aspect, why not acknowledge that you're doing a good job?

Doing well is all relative of course, but for one person, getting out of bed to do one chore can be like running a marathon while for another scrubbing the dishes won't even register as a day to day activity. Taking a step back and acknowledging that you're doing a good job can be healthy.

But conversely, looking down on others for not effortlessly accomplishing the same things you consider inconsequential is more than a little judgemental.

hlt5678309 · 2024-01-16T03:17:21+00:00

Lmao! So true

Susiewoosiexyz · 2024-01-16T04:12:45+00:00

Nothing about this video is impressive. It's boring.

I assume he's trying to get internet points for doing housework and being nice to his partner, ie, doing the absolute bare minimum she should expect.

obviousredflag · 2024-01-16T11:57:13+00:00

The guy cooks, cleans, works out, hangs with friends, etc. When did this become the gold standard of what a partner should do?

Because most people do not work out, clean and cook. With 30% (?) of adults reporting not having any friends, a social network that one hangs with is also not a given.

I agree, it's not a high bar to meet

gunmacc · 2024-01-16T13:15:56+00:00

I got the answer. Most people, mainly attractive women, have adopted the mindset of “i’m enough for who i am, i won’t do anything to please you”.

That is making people who actually behaves like an adult more scarse and valuable than those increasingly majority childish people.

PrecisionHat · 2024-01-16T15:30:42+00:00

Feminism started it, really. The whole strong, independent woman thing has always just been about being a regular functioning adult. At some point in history, it made sense, because traditional gender roles actually made it hard for women to function like their male counterparts, but that time is long past.

The strong, independent "doesn't need a man" talk still persists, though. Look at America Ferrerra's monologue from Barbie - "nobody gives you a medal" for being a woman is one ridiculous line. Yeah, no shit. People don't get recognition for just doing a decent job existing.

Suitable-Region3754 · 2024-01-17T22:32:39+00:00

I think you're conflating the normality of your lifestyle and downplaying your privileges. I think the general idea behind the statements is the guy does those things well and consistently. A lot of times life gets in the way of consistency. Unless someone is dying in their own filth they are cleaning to some degree unless they are complete shut-in they are hanging out with their friends at a normal frequency. A lot of times we forget that people die every day and that depression and loneliness run rampant in today's society. Nothing wrong with celebrating someone for being consistent. It's a lot harder than the sounds. If you don't want to celebrate yourself, That's fine. but in the same token you won't be held in a higher regard because you don't. I should say I don't agree with celebrating yourself in these tasks either, but I don't see the reason why someone shouldn't be proud.

Title	Why are we glorifying doing normal adult things
Author	belachewhm
Upvotes	54
Comments	238
Date	January 15, 2024 8:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/197igxk/why_are_we_glorifying_doing_normal_adult_things/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-are-we-glorifying-doing-normal-adult-things.1243055 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243055

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