A fundamental core principle here is that you are the judge of yourself. This means that you have to be a very tough judge, look at those areas you never want to look at, understand your weaknesses, accept them, and then plan to overcome them. Bravery is facing these challenges, and overcoming the challenges is the source of your strength.
We have to do this evaluation all the time to improve as men. In this thread we welcome everyone to disclose a weakness they have discovered about themselves that they are working on. The idea is similar to some of the activities in “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. You are responsible for identifying your weakness or mistakes, and even better, start brainstorming about how to become stronger. Mistakes are the most powerful teachers, but only if we listen to them.
Think of this as a boxing gym. If you found out in your last fight your legs were stiff, we encourage you to admit this is why you lost, and come back to the gym decided to train more to improve that. At the gym the others might suggest some drills to get your legs a bit looser or just give you a pat in the back. It does not matter that you lost the fight, what matters is that you are taking steps to become stronger. However, don’t call the gym saying “Hey, someone threw a jab at me, what do I do now?”. We discourage reddit puppet play-by-play advice. Also, don't blame others for your shit. This thread is about you finding how to work on yourself more to achieve your goals by becoming stronger.
Finally, a good way to reframe the shit to feel more motivated to overcome your shit is that after you explain it, rephrase it saying how you will take concrete measurable actions to conquer it. The difference between complaining about bad things, and committing to a concrete plan to overcome them is the difference between Beta and Alpha.
Gentlemen, Own Your Shit.
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[–]broomvirus1 points [recovered] (11 children) | Copy Link
#7
5'9", 232lb, 46yo.
5x5. SQ-250, OHP-90, DL-190, ROW-150, BP-135
Mission
Be a successful contestant on Survivor. Cash in the WSOP. Earn a master rating in chess. Be financially secure for the rest of my days. Have control over who, what, when, where and why I fuck.
Health
I've been failing on some reps, which is expected, and missed a few days since my last OYS. I've deloaded a couple of times to work on form (deadlift), and because I missed some days. I fucked with my schedule. If I go M-W-F, I don't miss days. I'm going to, and have been, sticking to that.
I've been focusing more the past couple of weeks on consuming less calories by rigorously tracking everything I eat. Goal is between 1800 and 2000 calories a day, with 200g of protein.
I've been getting that done with protein shakes as a supplement to my eggs/chicken/beef diet. I've also added some fruit (pineapple, blackberries, watermelon) to my diet, not worrying about carbs as much as calories. The weight will come off over time, but my body is already starting to look different. Maybe it's recomp?
Learning
I'm rereading TRM, and I've been listening to Rian Stone on youtube, and on Spotify in the car. Also discovered The Red Man Group - so I've got a huge backlog to listen to there while driving/working out.
Work
Work is going great. I'm headed back into the office, which is helping me be disciplined. Plus, I get to interact with the other people who are voluntarily working from the office. People in upper management and leadership positions, mostly. I'm looking for ways to actively put 48LOP into practice here so I can advance my career (more money) or gain the power to do what I want (more time).
Marriage
I nuked my marriage. I said I wanted a divorce, and my wife ran for the hills. I spent a couple of nights away from home. After the first night , she had packed up some of her shit. After the second time, she had acquired an apartment. Despite her tears, hurt feelings and accusations, she moved away from me as fast as possible.
It's not what she says, it's what she does.
I don't have a lawyer or divorce date set. I don't expect it be contended. We both make a similar amount of money, and our finances are already separated. I'll have to buy out her equity in the house, which I want to keep. I'll be talking with her about it this weekend.
Plate
I've started fucking my plate. The sex is great. But... I don't want to settle down into a monogamous LTR right out of the gate. There's a lot of pussy out there that I want to try.
Game
I've been mentally masturbating over this too much. I've got one cosmetic thing that will be taken care of in a few weeks, and then I'll implement some plan of approaching and meeting girls. It's not the top of my priority list at the moment - but the ability to socialize and influence people is part of my mission, so this is coming soon.
Abundance is the next teacher for me.
[–]ragnar_DaneskjoldGrinding / 60 DoD '21 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]broomvirus2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I don't feel awkward talking to women because I'm fat.
I'm getting fitted with partial dentures this month so I don't look like a meth addict when I smile. I like to smile.
[–]ragnar_DaneskjoldGrinding / 60 DoD '21 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tyred_BiggumsMRP APPROVED - anal on 2nd date 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]broomvirus1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I'm getting that feeling. I spoke with her about it last night, and suddenly we both need a lawyer. It's on the agenda for this week for me to get an appointment set up with a family lawyer.
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I didn't realize I was nuking it at the time. I had a covert contract that she would see what she was going to be missing out on, and start to desire me. Typical rambo stuff.
I told myself that it could be ending. Rationalized it, but not internalized it. There was a lot of anger, which I had to learn how to let go of by forgiving her. It's mostly gone, but sometimes...
The one upside to my doing it this way is that it brought the situation to a crystal clear point of clarity. My wife hit the door at the very first available opportunity. I'm glad that I didn't spend 2 years trying to fix something that was unfixable.
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Stats - Uk / Age: 28 / Height:169 / Weight: 64kg / LTR: 3 years 3x3 lifts - Belt Squat 100kg / BP: 40kg / OHP: 20kg / RDL: 80kg
Wrote down all my achievements today and realised I only had one tiny one that I'm proud of. 28 and I still cant drive. Been away from RP content for a long while, slipped back into alot of bad habbits, years of LARPing, clearly nothing is internalised. Been finding myself completely unmotivated to do anything lately, trying to kick start some momentum.
LIFTING
Been at beginner levels for over a year now due being very sporadic. Didn't lift the last 2 months, just starting again. Always feel better for sometime afterwards, less negative. Starting is the hardest part, I just put it off again and again until my whole day is ruined. I need to stick to my plans.
RELATIONSHIP
Things are fine in person, no issues at all. Over the phone however is where all the arguments happen. Need to limit phone contact to essentials only. Going to try and focus on STFU and not DEERING, like I used to. Allowing myself to get caught up in arguments needlessly, I will simply withdraw my attention from now on. I need to stop giving her the time I'm supposed to be spending doing my own shit.
STUDY
Back to University, hope to do things different this time as I allowed my self to get very distracted in the past. Goal is to tackle workload head on and finish assignments early.
WORK
Looking at jobs (lazily) need to make a new CV so I can start actually applying. Bring in some much needed funds.
FINANCIAL
In debt and will be untill January, need to be very tight on the budget to survive untill then. After that I can start clearing it.
MUSIC
I have everything I need to make songs and have done for months but yet again I just have no desire, yet I feel so much better when I do work on it. Plan was to have a few songs recorded by Nov to release on youtube, gonna have to kick myself up the ass to start.
GOALS
Get my lifts up, this will provide the foundation.
Make new a CV.
Start revising for my theory test, 1 month away.
Get in the booth and record some shit, anything.
Reintegrate TRP basics back into my behaviour with LTR.
SUMMARY
All in all everything is looking pretty weak. I know what I want, I just need to take the action needed.
[–]Along-The-Reeds 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]JSM7861 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Yup thats the goal. Started already, just gonna focus on consistency. I appreciate your feedback.
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