Be honest, in your personal life, do you see more women punching up, or men punching up?

lybid8 · 2022-02-16T02:44:37+00:00

In my circle of friends/general age group/culture I would say that men are punching up, and when they’re not, then it’s about equal. I’ve seen couples outside of my culture where the man is punching down however. But then again that’s only MY opinion and my subjective assessment of their attractiveness. I would assume the people in the actual relationship are both individually punching up as they find their partner suitably attractive/smart/wealthy whatever have you.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2022-02-16T02:24:22+00:00

Punching up? Both I'd say. Generally it's more attractive women with wealthier or high status men tho

C_Sec_Matt · 2022-02-16T01:03:27+00:00

Looks? Women, every time. Biased though as I am a man.

Financially? Even in the tech sector the senior (paid more not age) guys are with the cute younger ones.

Socially? honestly its 50/50 I think.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-02-16T03:00:31+00:00

Most people are pretty well-matched, and most people are in the 4-6 range anyway so it’s not often you’ll see someone punching up more than 2 points. But generally speaking, if one is noticeably better looking, I find it’s usually the woman. I almost never see men start dating less attractive women, if she’s less attractive, it’s almost always that they’ve been together a while and she just gained weight. Male 7s don’t date 5s, period, so I’m guessing you’re misjudging one or both. Sometimes a male 4-5 lacking confidence will date a less attractive woman, but a guy who knows he’s above average looking absolutely will not.

logiauser · 2022-02-16T03:26:02+00:00

Men can’t punch up in modern dating, it’s just not happening. Even when you see it, there’s some alternative trade in values going on.

Any woman can download an app and get 10 guys who will try to get with her immediately.

It’s a monetized market (as Coach Greg likes to say), you’re either an apex predator or you’re out of the game as a guy.

Even landwhales are trying to land Chads now.

otter6461a · 2022-02-16T02:40:05+00:00

Was recently in St Louis MO — we saw so many fit-looking guys with fat fat woman we started called them a new category, “St Louis hot.”

So at least there, woman punching way up. Possibly due to a shortage of non-obese women

effeteintellectual · 2022-02-16T02:58:10+00:00

Men punch up in looks, women punch up in money/wealth. That’s the trend I’ve seen irl

cautionTomorrow555 · 2022-02-15T23:22:41+00:00

I only know of one relationship in the past couple years where the woman is 2 or more points above the guy. All the other relationships I see are either looksmatches or the guy being 1-2 points above the woman or even sometimes 3. I constantly see women who are either below average looking or 40 pounds overweight dating average weight and average looks guys to above average guys with a gym body some of which are also tall 6 feet and above or well off financially. I think this is heavily influenced by where I live though which is the Midwest which means there are a lot more single men than women so women can easily date guys above them and the guys are more likely to be working physical jobs instead of office jobs which means they are more likely to be fit than if those same guys were on the coast.

SupermarketFun21 · 2022-02-15T23:44:24+00:00

Among people in actual relationships, there’s no huge difference. I know of more fit man/fat woman couples than vice versa, but it goes both ways.

Among single people, there is a huge difference. All chronically single and looking women are trying to punch comically above their weight, while the inverse isn’t the case at all. Can’t really be any other way given the ratios.

ledatherockband · 2022-02-16T02:40:34+00:00

Women are dating up.

The only time I’ve seen that this isn’t true is in middle school and high school underclassmen when kids don’t fully understand where they are ranked in terms of attractiveness relative to their peers.

livs4dietdrpepper · 2022-02-15T23:44:18+00:00

Looks wise I almost exclusively see more attractive women with less attractive men besides maybe 2 examples I can think of in my friends

Resources wise tho I’d say the opposite most of my girl friends are with more “successful” men financially

dxfifa · 2022-02-16T03:32:20+00:00

Women by a mile.

People are dumb, the average person rates a matched looks couple as the woman more attractive. Therefore they believe a 70 percentile guy as upper average and a 70 percentile woman as hot. Even I instinctively feel this.

Take a point off the girl and add one to the guy for ALL of you and you'll probably be accurate

Even so, i see mostly looks matched couples, with a decent but nowhere near majority not so.

But i live in a small town in a reasonably liberal country with very liberated and promiscuous women and very little high society influence. Our rich people are mostly farmers and industrial owners

Out of the maybe a third not matched, I'd say 75% is ugly girl, often fat, with average to above average dude.

10% would be attractive guy, more attractive girl.

10% decent girl, better looking guy

5% Rich looking guy with more attractive girl

skunkbear444 · 2022-02-16T09:14:56+00:00

In couples above 35 years old and now even younger you see the girlfriend/wife weigh the same as the boyfriend.

A 5'4 170lbs with her 5'9 170lbs skinny fat boyfriend/husband you see this all the time. Women physically keep punching up more and more. The big ass and thicc obsessions, of which I despise now encourage women to weigh more. Before it was "I'm a fatty-boom-batty" 15 year ago. Now it's "I'm thiiiiiiiiicccc and got a big juicy ass".

Facewise they are usually pretty matched. Men get their facematch, but she gets the luxury of being fat. He gives up and get skinny fat or kind of a chubby because fuck a strict diet when you have a butterball stealing the covers from you at night.

Guys are more afraid to get back into a dating market that get more and more competitive & may leave them meeting and settling for an even lower quality partner.

BasicallyYogurt · 2022-02-16T13:53:27+00:00

I have almost never seen an attractive female with an average guy. The other way round I see all the time. But given how women rate men's attractiveness, it makes sense.

hornyjailer1 · 2022-02-15T23:37:10+00:00

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John_Oakman · 2022-02-15T23:24:50+00:00

Now the Jacksonville (NC) region is heavily skewed for reasons, but generally it's relatively fit dudes matched with dependapotamus... but again, heavily skewed so it doesn't count.

Aviadcool111 · 2022-02-16T00:24:11+00:00

Talking pure attractiveness I would say nither just scrolling through my social media and couples I see in real life(For couples one night stands women punch up far). If talking about careerwise women punch up.

childish_badda_bingo · 2022-02-16T01:21:15+00:00

I think women way over rate the importance of the woman’s look versus the man’s success. Looks always fade.

I generally see average men with frumpy women. I see fit men with fit women. Etc etc.

DivineDaedra · 2022-02-16T01:43:04+00:00

I’m a terrible judge of attractiveness but in terms of LTR I don’t think relationships last if one partner considers themselves a significantly better catch than the other.

I think most people won’t be content in a relationship unless they consider their partner as attractive or more than themselves. In that regard I think most people consider themselves to be equal or punching up—especially with how much physical attraction changes with time and emotional attraction.

My husband considers me to be more attractive than him but I think it’s the other way around. I honestly don’t think people outside of the relationship have the information to decide if one partner is punching up in terms of anything besides conventional beauty standards.

chalkandapples · 2022-02-16T02:10:22+00:00

Does it count if someone that's clearly out of a woman's league asks her out and she says no? Because if it does, men by a long shot. For relationships that actually became official, men are generally more accomplished or have more skills (eg. good at sports/fixing things) than the women. Women are usually a bit better looking but I wouldn't say they're out of the guy's league or anything.

dasa_man · 2022-02-16T06:40:31+00:00

In terms of overall package (looks, finances, style etc) I see more women punching up. In terms of looks it’s fairly even but for the cases of rich or above average income men with below average women

St-Joan · 2022-02-16T07:45:25+00:00

I think there might be a class divide component. For context, I’m 25F and I live in the Northeast (US). My husband and I have a household income in the 90th+ percentile. We have good friends across the socioeconomic spectrum.

We’ve noticed that our friends that are also upper-middle class/affluent almost always have a pairing of a more physically attractive woman and less attractive man. This trend reverses for our friends that have a blue collar/working class background.

accountantladyreads · 2022-02-16T14:38:25+00:00

Pretty much all the couples I know (including myself with my hubby) are on about the same attractiveness level.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-02-16T15:25:32+00:00

American women? I have a lifetime of young to mid age experience. It's been women punching wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy above their weight class for a long time.

whatisthebluething · 2022-02-16T16:35:25+00:00

The fundamental problem with this question is that each individual women finds the vast majority of men unattractive. Therefore if you show a woman 100 straight couples, she will perceive the 100 men as being mostly composed of ugly losers.

alphadawg94 · 2022-02-16T18:43:53+00:00

This is gonna be based on city and gender ratio. Bay Area? Women are punching up. When I went to Boulder it was all men punching up, by more than 2 points for sure.

Cocohamster · 2022-02-16T20:20:57+00:00

I see attractive women with uglier but wealthier men wayyyy more often.

AbbreviationsHot1200 · 2022-02-16T22:36:06+00:00

One thing ppl don't often think about when judging a man's looks is how masculine he appears.

You might think he's not hot, but if he looks like the kind of guy who would win a fight, A LOT of women will think he's very hot.

divingrose77101 · 2022-02-17T00:24:35+00:00

I work in a fancy restaurant. 90% of the couples I see there have a beautiful woman and an average man. I rarely see a beautiful man with an average woman. I assume this is because money can buy a beautiful woman as a partner.

TheEternalGhost · 2022-02-15T23:30:48+00:00

Are we judging it by what men and women look like in the morning fresh out of the shower, or are we allowing women to spend an hour putting on makeup and doing their hair etc? It's a huge difference.

ogsimpology · 2022-02-16T00:20:39+00:00

Any dude that denies guys date up in looks is insane. Women are generally more beautiful than their male counterparts. And that's an objective fact.

2022-02-15T23:39:11+00:00

januaryphilosopher · 2022-02-15T23:24:41+00:00

Men without a doubt. Couples tend to be matched but men try to punch up more often.

ProfessorFelix0812 · 2022-02-15T23:35:49+00:00

Men rarely outkick their coverage…

ejkej89 · 2022-02-16T18:59:04+00:00

I am 5/10 guy who is with 7/10 girl and she is 12 years younger than me. I looked even worse before hair transplant. The funny thing she was (and still is) into me at first sight. But yeah I was just lucky and her type

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Own-Boat-5374 · 2022-02-16T00:12:37+00:00

They punch up and use lower guys as emotional playthings

rosephase · 2022-02-16T00:32:52+00:00

there was a study out there somewhere that said that people who meet through online dating are much more likely to be ranked similarly in looks then people who fell for each other in real life.

That make sense to me. OLD's first major barrier is a couple of photos. When you meet people in real life and get to know who they are, looks can matter a lot less.

rivetcitymayor · 2022-02-16T01:45:50+00:00

In my own life, I think I’ve been more attractive or better put together than all the women I dated

2022-02-16T02:17:39+00:00

Bit of a mixture. I think my bf is way hotter than me lol.

Normally, they're within two points of each other on looks and have personalities that gel.

tacolocomotivation · 2022-02-16T02:40:19+00:00

Is this point system purely physical appearance?

IcarusKiki · 2022-02-16T02:55:05+00:00

I see equality for the most part. Otherwise they wouldnt be together. Like tends to attract like.

halvq · 2022-02-16T03:55:48+00:00

Based on these comments, it’s interesting to see how vast the variation is!

In my personal life, it depends on whether you’re talking about looks, or personality and success.

In terms of looks, almost all of the couples I know are within 1 point of each other on a 10 point scale, perhaps with females slightly edging out the males around 65% of the time - but that could, and probably is, due to makeup. Male 6 and female 7 is common my area, but I don’t know what a lot of these females look like without makeup.

As for personality and success, flip my answer, and take away the part where it’s at least partially due to makeup.

Minute-Lie-2287 · 2022-02-16T04:02:36+00:00

Neither, fact is people tend to pair up within one point. In that range there is no possible way to objectively quantify who is punching up.

The outliers you could get a concensus on, but its usually to do with factors outside of looks or an unusual personal preference or something location specific.

That dude likes fat chicks

That woman places more than usual emphasis on money

That guy is hilarious

Those people live near a military base where women are far more scarce than men.

Etc.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-02-16T04:12:03+00:00

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Pastelitomaracucho · 2022-02-16T04:16:15+00:00

I see more women trying to punch up and failing.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2022-02-16T04:37:40+00:00

Neither. Both men and women punch up and down by roughly the same amount in LTRs.

AngelxEyez · 2022-02-16T05:02:27+00:00

I almost exclusively see men with more attractive women (even when I was a teen in high school) or looksmatch

ffandyy · 2022-02-16T07:01:00+00:00

More men punching up for sure

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-02-16T07:56:25+00:00

I generally see both parties as around equal. But me being attracted to men more could skew the results as i find men generally more attractive.

Past_Objective_7814 · 2022-02-16T12:48:11+00:00

I think my husband is significantly more attractive than me.

But I wouldn’t say there is a particular theme when it comes to our friends and the people around us in their relationships. It’s pretty mixed.

JacobMugatu666 · 2022-02-16T13:40:54+00:00

So are we defining male attractiveness by how attractive looking they are or by how confident and powerful they are? Because I see a lot of guys who are objectively attractive looking but obviously low self esteem with ugly chicks. But that means the men are themselves not as attractive as their looks suggest.

Friendly-Place2497 · 2022-02-16T14:51:41+00:00

Attractiveness women punching up, overall quality men punching up. But that’s just based on the particular men and women I know and the peculiarities of my social network.

CatoftheBanals · 2022-02-16T15:11:07+00:00

InNew York it was definitely men punching up in relationships, no question. Don’t yell at me about West Elm Caleb; he was going for quantity not quality and quick hookups. Men who are relationship-minded in that city were rare so women were happy to find a guy who wasn’t in FOMO madness. I will note some people disagree and say women are hypergamous to the nth degree there but I saw a lot of women taking what they could get.

Outside major cities I see women punching up in general with cute guys but punching down for losers (trailer park meth heads).

In Southern California people seem to be quite looksmatched.

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-16T18:54:44+00:00

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2022-02-16T19:03:37+00:00

I see a lot more dudes punching up, I’m in college tho so maybe that’s why. Lots of guys in my frat get with girls way more attractive than them at parties

Christian_Kong · 2022-02-16T19:23:35+00:00

I feel with younger people women punch up. Older people women punch up. Womens bodies go on them quicker even if they don't have kids.

somefellaUK · 2022-02-16T19:52:07+00:00

In London I see many more men punching up, particularly around central London.

My eyes sometimes cannot believe the mismatches in looks between couples that I see on a daily basis - i.e. a guy who's a 4/10 with a girl who's a 7/10+

Presumably they get them because they're lucky enough to go to uni / school together and the ugly guy grows on the girl over time.

ShinyBronze · 2022-02-16T20:12:23+00:00

Are we allowed to bring up race?

Once I get the go ahead from the mods, I can answer this effectively, but it plays a huge role in attraction and varies tremendously across different cultures.

Tek_Analyst · 2022-02-16T20:51:51+00:00

100% women generally punch up more unless the man attains more money and therefore gets more options.

lingualistic · 2022-02-16T23:26:12+00:00

Either the woman is way hotter or the couple is pretty evenly matched. I don’t know any hot men with plain or unattractive women. None.

AdorableDictator · 2022-02-18T11:49:23+00:00

If you mean looks, men. To be quite honest I think physical mismatches happen at around the same rate.

But men can punch up more. I have never seen a really homely woman with a stud. But I regularly see really physically unattractive men with attractive women. When women punch up, it doesn’t seem as extreme. Maybe plain woman with a handsome man. But nothing crazy.

couldbemage · 2022-02-16T01:09:14+00:00

The only useful league definition is who you can get, and by that definition, the average couple are what defines the scale. If you see lots of 6s with 8s, your estimation is wrong.

2022-02-16T01:20:40+00:00

I’m one of the men punching up. I’m a completely normal dude, average looks, no money and all that. I’ve been talking to tons of models lately. Actually today I started talking to this stunning runway model who was in Harper’s Bazaar and Vogue. And she’s done runways for brands like Versace.

boofthegirl · 2022-02-16T02:48:48+00:00

Definitely men “punching up” by a large gap

Title	Be honest, in your personal life, do you see more women punching up, or men punching up?
Author	SmarmyPapsmears
Upvotes	37
Comments	214
Date	February 15, 2022 11:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/stgea9/be_honest_in_your_personal_life_do_you_see_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/be-honest-in-your-personal-life-do-you-see-more.1102090 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102090

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