Women don’t seem to listen to men here nor care about what they are saying. This is perhaps most evident in their continually responding to every complaint men make about dating by implying they only want sex, when a good number of men here want companionship.

Gigamon2014 · 2022-07-26T14:02:10+00:00

I honestly don't think the men or women on this sub are all that different. When I think back to the times I struggled in real life and women gave me good advice (which was rare) it was often those who had the best success who were able to adequately identify the issue I had and then offer good solutions. I'm a guy who gets a lot of attention from the opposite sex and the women who kept it were always those who weren't necessarily the most stunning but the ones who were great at making me feel understood and listened to. They knew what made men tick.

If you're noticing women getting frustrated by incels and basement dwellers then its likely they aren't all that effective at dating the opposite sex themselves. People talk about empathy like its some moral attribute when, in truth, its a better sign of someone who is intelligent and socially capable. There was a discussion about Jeff Bezos yesterday on here and someone posited that the reason he's dating Lauren Sanchez and not the myriad of other 10s who would be on his dick was because, from experience they had of her, she was a great communicator who was good at making someone feel heard and appreciated. My girl was an awkward nerd in her teenage years but was able to turn things for herself around when she started reading dating guides and taking a more ordered approach to her romantic life. I tend to find women like this are also more "aware" and better sources of knowledge than those just repeating blue pilled bullshit.

TBH there is a mutual issue of the genders not understanding each other. As such you need to search a little harder for those who "get it". Its also important to appreciate those who drop gems. There are a few diamonds in the rough here too, one I can think of is u/BlackPorcelainDoll (I knows its somewhat controversial to say but I tend to find WOC are just...better at offering balanced opinions), there are a couple others too. Their comments don't have that needless sympathy/virtue signalling (which you also get a lot of here) but more nuanced observations on male-female interactions. Its those observations which I find are missing from both sides of the aisle.

sarkington · 2022-07-26T14:05:25+00:00

Some men say they want companionship from women. You do not appear to be one of those men, so we assume you are after sex. The responses are thus appropriate

Bekiala · 2022-07-26T14:02:56+00:00

I would argue that most humans are not interested in others' problems. Furthermore, the less someone has in common (gender, race, culture) with another individual the less interested they are in their suffering. Also the more hurt or struggling the individual is the less likely they are to be sympathetic to other's pain. I'm a bit of a pessimist about humanity.

Irk, I probably should have put this under auto mod but there wasn't a reply button for me on auto mod. Weird.

PuppyDontCare · 2022-07-26T14:29:05+00:00

TBF this sub is particularly toxic. I think nobody listens and everyone is bitter. For every example you make, I can think of another where men say "women think X" a woman says "no we/I don't" "shut up woman, I know better".

So when a woman doesn't listen to what men says you all go *pikachu face*

So I'm not sure what are you expecting from Reddit people

pearllovespink · 2022-07-26T14:19:26+00:00

You’re generalizing. Not every man on here wants companionship. I’ve had men on here tell me straight up that that they don’t enjoy the company of women and just like sex. The red pill community that is heavy on here is not pro-companionship. People have commented and even made dozens of threads as to why marriage is pointless. I’m not seeing your point at all. Most of the men on here have been vocal about their main focus being sex and anti-marriage.

wtknight · 2022-07-26T14:22:06+00:00

Or course a lot of men want relationships, but they want sex first, so that is what women address. Men on this sub openly admit the importance of sex when they claim that women are sexually attracted to men the moment that they meet them and only want to really associate with these guys while just using other men who are their “friends”, so why wouldn’t women therefore address men and their sense of wanting this initial attraction from a woman as a form of sexual entitlement.

Cold_Flower_4843 · 2022-07-26T14:04:24+00:00

This subis a strange place. If you learnt about dating and relationships from this page i think you would develop a very distorted view of the world. When I go out in the world, there are so many couples and singles not thinking about all of this stuff. And I just don't think a lot of the debates on the page are helpful or conducive towards healthy attitudes to dating for anyone.

I hardly hear anyone out in the real world talking about this and saying these things. I think a lot of attitudes in this sub are quite far removed from reality. And even if theor not, what difference does it make. Women are not going to change just for men. And it is not their responsibility to.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-07-26T15:15:21+00:00

this is symptomatic of a larger problem. That is that women clearly are not interested in even attempting to understand what men go through

I'm a man and I still think your experience is very atypical.

The problem is, when you make it clear that you're not open to consider any counterargument to your posts, people can't be bothered making them anymore. That's why they just call you a name or give you a one sentence response.

Ex_Machina_1 · 2022-07-26T14:32:24+00:00

The real world is vastly different from the internet world because what you're saying is simply not true, when applied to real world experience.

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-07-26T15:42:53+00:00

Are you complaining that the “opposition” isn’t patting you on the back and agreeing with you…on a debate sub?

New_Relative_8709 · 2022-07-26T17:16:38+00:00

Let me give you a very important information

Outside of Reddit, no one really cares about any of the “major” problems “debated” in here, this is the only place on earth where woman promiscuity is causing a “social catastrophy”

And nothing debated here even has a point, every day 4 or 5 post appear saying the same thing: Woman are bad, casual sex is bad, man are sad

And guess what… it will never change, girls are still going to have casual sex with whoever they want and you still are going to get married to them because i know not even 10% of people here have balls to reject a girl that is willing to be with you for her N count and stay a lonely virgin for life

Zero-Wolfe · 2022-07-26T15:00:24+00:00

Bro women are listening. But you guys literally can't talk about women without complaining women have had fucking sex.

Like literalky you red pill men will say "I met this 32 year old woman who has been divorced, she wanted me to treat her nice and take her on dates but I felt she didn't deserve it and she was entitled" like you don't want fucking companions. You don't wanna listen to women..you don't care. You wanna say "women aren't listening to me" and then when women are like "hey the leading causes of divorces are differences in household workload, women do more, and cheating, which men do more" and the red pillers screech it's all a lie and men are victims.

Most men get married. Most men get LTR. The ones who don't are largely disabled, POC/immigrants, and really creepy dudes.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2022-07-26T14:08:52+00:00

Do a good number of men here want companionship? Have there been posts about that which we have all missed.

The daily thread is mostly shit talk about bitches and pussy. I am not trying to say it needs to be shut down but it runs counter to what you are saying. It is mostly arguements about tits and ass and some dumb bitch who was ugly who flirted with them or some dumb bitch who did something else.

Then there is a bunch of talk about how you should never listen to or take advice from women about anything.

bluemooncookiedough · 2022-07-26T13:52:05+00:00

I think it is mostly people who have been hurt by the opposite sex a lot. Our own biases from lived experiences are extremely hard to overcome. But I think there are also plenty of people who do listen and are open to their empathy. You can also have empathy for someone while knowing there is nothing you can do for them.

The_Entertainer217 · 2022-07-26T15:36:00+00:00

A lot of men on PPD are weird AF, tbh. The stuff about “n-counts” always makes me cringe.

anon018274031 · 2022-07-26T15:45:57+00:00

Most people on this sub openly admit they either just want women for sex, or will leave her if she doesn’t give up sex readily… what do you expect women to get from that?

anjovis150 · 2022-07-26T13:39:01+00:00

Probably because there is no good answer. The whole admitting privilege thing is silly whether it's race or sex. No one likes to do that.

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-07-26T13:52:22+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Paranoidexboyfriend · 2022-07-26T15:27:36+00:00

No one, man or woman, genuinely cares what anyone has to say about anything, unless doing so directly benefits them. Humans respond to incentives.

Women on the internet have zero to gain from listening to an undesirable man complain about being undesirable.

pussy_destroyyer · 2022-07-26T13:52:58+00:00

This is PPD, no one is listening to anyone. Men aren’t listening to womens problems either. Everyone here is frustrated with the other gender and screaming at each other with no intention of actually compromising.

Many women feel like men constantly expect sex from them and are upset about that. Many men are upset because they’re not getting any sex. Both are valid complaints and there’s no easy solution, it sucks. But you can’t seriously think implying that you are owed sex on the internet will make women (that are already frustrated with the expectation of having to have sex) suddenly say “hey you’re right, now that you’re showing how angry you are about not getting laid, I’m definitely gonna do a good deed and have more sex with men like you”!.

thetruthishere_ · 2022-07-26T13:48:45+00:00

You mean the same way many men here think women dont have any difficulty dating? Also thinking just because we can get sex easy from men that dont care about us is a privilege when its not?

ruboyuri · 2022-07-26T13:38:09+00:00

Relationships involve sex

If we don’t want to have sex with you, we don’t want a relationship

januaryphilosopher · 2022-07-26T14:03:41+00:00

The complaints from men here are usually about sex, especially casual sex. I'd find it hard to believe that it's especially difficult for men to get into relationships, unless those are relationships with women out of their league which men here insist they're not trying to do, but I can get how it could be difficult for men to have the amount of casual sex they want.

Play_Muted · 2022-07-26T13:39:48+00:00

I just dont understand, why do you care about them not caring?

yamb97 · 2022-07-26T13:44:08+00:00

It’s the entitlement for me, doesn’t matter if you want companionship or sex the men of this sub are always complaining about making an effort. As if women should just marry the first man that says hi to them. How can you expect to be a companion if you provide me no value? You must demonstrate said value or how else would I know? My side of this effort is picking you out over the 100s other matches I had this morning, now it’s your turn.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-07-26T15:20:59+00:00

I would argue that when men do voice their woes of dating its firstly met with support and advice from both men and women.

It’s only when the op then starts to complain about the lack of virgins or expecting sex On the first date or doing nothing to improve themselves yet expects a model that everyone (men and women) give up.

They don’t want advice or support, they want everyone to baby them and agree it’s the fault of women this guy can’t get a date.

Dicksavagewood69 · 2022-07-26T16:24:46+00:00

While I agree that problems men face in society are often ignored by Women, it’s hard to be too upset when a lot of the messaging about very real problems men face is mixed in with extremely misogynistic messaging by incels. Or when the solution a lot of people propose to things like skyrocketing rates of male virginity are to go back to basically treating women like it’s the 1800s. It’s poisoning the well. It’s true that on dating apps there’s reams and reams of data that sugges if you’re shorter than like 5’ 11 you’re basically fucked. Or if you’re not a 9 or 10 rippling chad you’re not going to have a ton of success in that space. But let’s be real, for like half the dudes pointing this out, none of these things are really why they’re not getting laid.

And there’s a lot to be said about the problems I face as someone with aspergers in making romantic connections with other people, and it’s genuinely a really tough and depressing thing to grapple with but people can’t really help who they’re attracted to. Like i said, on one hand, it’s genuinely really depressing to see women basically dismiss these realities but at the same time I can’t really blame them when like half the people with a platform talking about this are Incels/MGTOW/ hardcore misogynists it’s hard to blame them.

It is what it is right now.

calfshrug · 2022-07-26T17:46:33+00:00

First of all, as a man here, when men say they simply want a relationship, this is often a delusion or lie. You’ll know from experience, cultural memes, and understanding of domestic conflict and divorce, etc, that a driving factor of almost all of the conflict in society resides in dissatisfaction / loss of sexual attraction of fulfillment in one’s partner.

When I was a virgin, I would say I just wanted a sweet girl to date, meanwhile I would look at adult films almost daily. I created a life of dissatisfaction for myself, just like everyone else, and almost anyone who says they’ll be content if “X” is attained is lying to you or themself, or to both.

LonelyBayesian · 2022-07-26T17:47:51+00:00

To me, this is symptomatic of a larger problem. That is that women clearly are not interested in even attempting to understand what men go through.

No? There's literally an entire thread that refutes this.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/w8afcv/question_for_the_women_on_here_i_want_you_to/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

BumblingBeta · 2022-07-26T14:14:47+00:00

Women here are mostly 40+ year old married women who have been done with their party years for at least the last 15 years. The female opinions here will be heavily biased against sex and towards commitment for that reason. 18-25 year old women are on TikTok and Instagram, they have no need to debate here.

John_Oakman · 2022-07-26T14:02:24+00:00

There seems to be a fundamental difference in mentality between the 2 genders here, as most of the women seems to be mainly motivated by internal moral virtues while most of the males are motivated by external materiel/worldly feedback.

Thus the usual advice from women of "just moral virtue harder" tend to ring hollow to males as they know that there are no material benefits resulting from that, and males being baffled that women seemed content, if not eager, with the modern (inmoral) society's decline and eventual collapse, since from their perspective an immoral society is not worth keeping around.

themostgianthorse · 2022-07-26T14:02:52+00:00

The issue is that you think women care about any grievances that men have.

They want the tingles and they want them now. Unless of course they don’t, in which case you are creepy.

“Women don’t care about your struggles. They hangout at the finish line and pick the winners.”

yamb97 · 2022-07-26T13:47:16+00:00

I am a man. I don’t want a long term committed relationship with someone who does not want sex. That is the primary filter for me and every man that I know. Typical questions are “do I want sex with her” and “would I be happy with only sex with her” before even pursuing a relationship. I am also demisexual so it has very little to do with looks. There may be men that have zero interest in sex that would like relationships but they are such a minority that they would likely be statistically irrelevant.

It is all about sex for men.

Women don’t have the same issues. Women have slightly different evolutionary drivers because they have the risk of childbirth. Before modern medicine childbirth could literally kill them and often did. Why the heck would they have evolutionary tendencies that would increase that risk?

They can be more choosy, they should be more choosy, they should look in other aspects in a mate that make the risk of childbirth worth the risk.

Unfortunately evolutionary nature still has a hold on modern relationship framework. The modern problem is that the short haired ape in women makes them not want to have sex with the average short haired ape in men. They don’t want your babies in a core biological level because you are not adding much to the gene pool other than endless whining over how unfair nature is.

D_D_BA4 · 2022-07-26T13:54:58+00:00

Give up on receiving empathy as a man, makes life much easier. If your not winning your are treated as trash as a man but if you go all out take on life with a by any means necessary attitude you are toxically masculine.

EnteFetz · 2022-07-26T17:27:11+00:00

One of the biggest aspects of the red pill is understanding that women are not angels and can be absolutely vile and horrible people. Just because they look cute does not mean that they are nice. It is often the opposite because cute girls can get away with everything and get too much attention from less desirable men, which means cute girls can be the most vile and misandrist bullies ever who tell unnatractive men to just kill themselves. They don't have any sympathy for you and they are dangerous. They will destroy you if you let them.

Impossible_You_8555 · 2022-07-26T14:11:26+00:00

Not only that but what is so bad about a man wanting sex?

Why is this some horrible sin we are supposed to apologise for. The same women who say don't slut shame.

I'm a man my body wants to fuck. Life is unfulfilling without fucking, without love, eh, love is not as much a biological nessecity.

Sex is to a man is like bread. Love is like cake. You can live without cake much easier even if you enjoy it and too much of it makes you soft.

2022-07-26T14:01:17+00:00

[permanently deleted]

DJJAMES0621 · 2022-07-26T16:58:56+00:00

Telling the truth

AutoModerator · 2022-07-26T13:31:04+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2022-07-26T14:15:26+00:00

I think it's normal for women not to care, even I don't care and I'm a relationship minded guy haha

Same thing with how society doesn't care about most homeless being men, and the suicide rates too. It's like a cultural/instinctive norm not to care at all about men's issues I suppose.

One_Intention_8695 · 2022-07-26T16:19:50+00:00

Companionship IS the problem. I'm not here to coddle your boring ass. Get a life, lil b.

2022-07-26T18:02:21+00:00

its the opposite here and in this subreddit. most men do not understand the problems most women go thru on the daily and i cant help but think that it bleeds into daily life and their hookup culture. its always me me me. that is no way to attract a woman. get off of reddit bc u wont find a woman here at r/purplepilldebate find someone you can treat with care and affection. most women are very empathic you just need to be someone who is kind and worth empathizing over. people are evil by nature. lets not forget that.

dubiousmechanism · 2022-07-26T18:05:41+00:00

A problem with people in general is they tend to forget pain and remember pleasure. So men who once struggled with women, even if they were single for 10 years then found a girlfriend, will forget those 10 years and believe their current reality with the girlfriend is their norm, unable to sympathize or empathize with those struggling. Hence why it’s easy for a drug addict to romanticize their heroin addiction a year after they get sober, forgetting homelessness and withdrawal they recall the high instead; or when broken up with, even in an abusive relationship, one tends to remember the “good” in the relationship. So a lot of people who are even halfway successful with dating simply can’t cognize what struggle someone else is going through - also why if you’re depressed unironically people will naturally shun you and make you more depressed, what’s hard to accept or relate to is outcast, as like attracts like.

So a single woman may for a month after a breakup feel for or understand men, but the moment a new suitor or novel fuck buddy makes them forget of their prior loneliness they can’t relate with those who struggle. And offer useless advice like “just be yourself,” because that’s all they had to do to find love or sex again (especially being a woman, literally just being themselves works, and the same is far from the truth for men; better advice would be “become anything but yourself”).

Women don’t seem to listen to men here nor care about what they are saying. This is perhaps most evident in their continually responding to every complaint men make about dating by implying they only want sex, when a good number of men here want companionship.

Comments

What's it doing for you?