No, women have not "left men behind and upped their standards", they have left themselves behind and there are few worthwhile modern day women to date long-term

I see comments from women like “men need to step up” and “the bar is in hell” and "we just want a man we can emotionally connect with"

No. Women have not left men behind, they have left themselves behind.

Firstly, the reason women have become a lot more selective with the men is primarily because OLD apps in conjunction with social media (emphasis on social media, even if you aren't on OLD you have socials/internet presence) have exponentially increased the number of options women have today. Women used to have their community and social circles, whereas now she can see thousands of men in her area at the tip of her fingertips, or use their social media profiles essentially as an advertisement for men.

Secondly, personality and "listening" or "emotionally connecting" sounds nice if you think we live in a disney movie, but in reality those things have very little to do with how successful a man is with women. Attractiveness, income, status and game do. This graphic from the chicago dating study illustrates the emphasis women place on physical appearance (in this case, height) AND income, in that a significant increase in income is required to off set lack of height. There is another chart from the same study pertaining to race (spoiler alert: women don't like the results) but I can't get into that as per the sub's rules.

This is the link to the full study; if you scroll down to page 47 you'll find that they also assessed additional income needed relative to looks rating. A man who is 50th percentile in looks rating, needs an additional 106k to be as successful as a man in the 80th percentile in looks rating. Well no duh, of course a more attractive man will be more successful? The point is to illustrate that physical appearance (and secondarily to that income, to compensate) play huge roles in dating success. A huge discrepancy like this would not be the case if being able to "emotionally connect" was what women are looking for.

While being more emotionally intelligent on average, women are far worse at a) realistically assessing their league and b) differentiating the sexual interest they get from men from their relationship value in the eyes of men. There are a lot of women that have sex with a guy casually and then hold out for a guy of that level long-term, when he'd never commit to her.

Yes, it takes more than a job to get a woman now as a man. And yes, the average man is overweight, does not earn an income that is attractive to most women, and some of them have addictions to porn or video games. But the average woman is also overweight and poisoned by gynocentric feminist values that promote things like promiscuity, masculinity in women, body positivity, and misandry. The average man AND woman are both shitty dating prospects in the west. If you fail to realize this, you are simply out of touch of reality or not discussing in good faith. This isn't going to change anytime soon because women don't realize it. This lack of accountability is why there are so many obese women and single mothers. Nobody gasses up a broke fat dude into thinking he's a catch. In contrast it's commonplace for a 6/10 to think she's a 10 that deserves prince charming. Society tells her that. Her friends tell her that.

Women's inability to objectively assess their dating value has quite literally spawned an entire industry of podcasts and shows on youtube, beginning with Kevin Samuels.

Lastly on the topic of "earning their own money", something I virtually never see anybody on this subreddit talk about is the rising income inequality. With few outliers that earn a really high income, dual incomes are a necessity if you want to raise a family with kids and give them a good life. Everything is expensive as shit and it's going to get worse. Dual parent households are also extremely important; children from single parent households have higher rates of crime and mental disorders.

The underlying message is...most of what society spouts is bullshit, everyone needs to step up (yes, women need to step up), and men and women need each other. Don't ever subscribe to this dumb notion that women don't need men or men don't need woman. Find me a woman in her late 30s who's single (and not aromantic/asexual) and feeling fulfilled in life and i'll show you a liar.