Do you think there's anything wrong with men to filtering out promiscuous women for serious relationships? If so, why?

therealcosmicnebula · 2023-03-16T07:28:34+00:00

No. Do what you want. You're allowed to have whatever standard you want.

hazelinside · 2023-03-16T08:37:38+00:00

Don’t care. Preferences are preferences. So long as you’re not using it to shame / be hateful, and you don’t care that women also have preferences. Personally I wouldn’t want to date a man with a high BC either.

Ex: ‘I don’t feel comfortable dating women with a high body count’ - Totally fine and cool

‘I’ll never date a slut that’s ridden the cock carousel’ - You’re a dick

CimZim · 2023-03-16T10:52:27+00:00

Nope, I do the same against promiscuous men.

neetykeeno · 2023-03-16T12:48:51+00:00

The fact he filters and then inevitably he whines about what does and doesn't get through the filter...not enough girls not skinny enough girls not girls who accept low effort not girls with high libido not extroverted girls who can carry a conversation whine whine whine why aren't there enough of precisely what I want ....why haven't those ones set themselves aside for me why hasn't everyone spent the past fifteen years preparing to please me here today now I have decided I need to leave offspring.

Like whatever dude, we don't care. People aren't products. You can't order up.the exact woman you want on the precise day you want like ordering up a replacement capacitor or washer. It isn't anyone's problem but yours.

CimZim · 2023-03-16T07:56:21+00:00

Nothing wrong with it.

I just get bugged when guys with huge body counts think it will attract chaste women. Not how that works

2023-03-16T08:15:57+00:00

It’s fine. Date who you want, don’t date whoever you don’t want, your standards are your business, you’re free to exclude anyone from your dating pool for any reason.

shestammie · 2023-03-16T07:48:30+00:00

Is this even true?

Because there’s a general consensus that it’s easy for women to partner up and in my experience, women with full sexual histories still date and end up married. And the discussion around single men is usually that it’s involuntary - that they’re unwanted, not that they’re being selective.

What’s more likely is men date these women anyway (if they can) and then spend the entire relationship insecure and implying she’s cheating. So yeah, filter whoever you want out of your dating pool but as much as men talk about this concept, I don’t think they’re actually doing it.

ChadChasingB · 2023-03-16T09:45:13+00:00

I think it's fine as long as you don't expect them to be promiscuous for you too or as long as promiscuous men don't get mad when virgins/conservative women reject them for the same reasons.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-03-16T14:45:23+00:00

If they themselves are not promiscuous, it’s whatever. But I see these men claiming 20 and 30 and 50 bodies and then wanting to settle down with a virgin and that makes them hypocrites to me. But there’s no law against hypocrisy - I just personally respect them less for it.

RocinanteCoffee · 2023-03-16T11:12:41+00:00

Nobody can help who they are attracted to. Everyone has a right to set boundaries in dating. If they decide to not continue a relationship with someone that is their prerogative. Just as that person, even if they are a virgin or have not been promiscuous, may find the question strange and unnecessary and end the date/relationship.

catwatchwsmyshame · 2023-03-16T14:26:15+00:00

Anybody can have any filters for any reason, it doesn't matter who it's right to.

MistyMaisel · 2023-03-16T16:14:52+00:00

You're allowed to keep any standard you want. I'd just say to the mansluts of the world, don't be surprised if you're getting filtered out as well. And, don't be surprised if she's not fucking you fast. Don't be surprised if you're waiting months or a year or more to get sex. She didn't end up with a low body count because she's an easy lay. You don't get to call her frigid, unloving, a tease, or anything of that nature, because you wanted this. If you wanted someone easy to get in bed with, you can't filter out the promiscuous women. Do not put women in this damned if they do and damned if they don't scenario.

And also, don't be surprised if she's less sexually open and has stuff she will not or does not wish to do with you ever (even if she did it with a previous boyfriend). If you want someone who is into all that shit, probably the sluts are the best place to go. And don't be surprised if she's not really great at sex or enjoying sex with you right away, sex is a skill, and she hasn't developed it. This chaste sex kitten you dream of doesn't exist. It will probably be awhile until you're getting the kind of sex you could easily get from a hoe.

Again, you don't get to be mad your girlfriend doesn't want anal and isn't super open to giving head or anything else you might cook up and isn't diving all over you right off the bat because you wanted a woman like this. The woman who love sex all the time are the women you're filtering out.

januaryphilosopher · 2023-03-16T09:46:42+00:00

No problem. I do it too. The problem comes when you're rude about it. And when you're only rude about women being promiscuous, guess what, that's misogynist.

Graaarg999 · 2023-03-16T10:50:19+00:00

I felt in love with such a girl. It was the worse experience of my whole life. She told me She loved me after 1 month then proposed an open relationship, had never enough time for me and still chatted with suitors and past lovers. Had to break up for the anxiety, and go to therapy. I didn't believe the pair bonding thing, didn't care about N-count. I do now.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-03-16T11:47:13+00:00

No, people can want whatever they want. Just know that insisting on sex by date three is NOT the way to do that.lol Being a hoe yourself is also not smart. If you want a sexually conservative woman, that means waiting for sex, which is something most men aren’t willing to do. That’s all that annoys me, is the pushing for sex and then complaints that “all women these days are sluts.” No, you filtered the rest out.

Lanzienator · 2023-03-16T14:55:22+00:00

No for the love of god please leave us promiscuous women alone thanks.

LeaveNCountAlone · 2023-03-16T15:03:02+00:00

No. But don’t get mad when we choose to filter out fuckboys and incels.

Wait a tick…. You already do.

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2023-03-16T17:45:01+00:00

You can filter out anyone for whatever reason. You aren't attracted to short people? Pass. You aren't attracted to fat people? Pass. You don't want someone who has had a lot of partners, you'd prefer someone with a n count closer to yours? Pass. All well and good. The ''wrong'' part is when you endlessly talk shit about how much the people you aren't attracted to suck. It's okay if you don't like fat chicks, but if you're going to comment on what a fat ugly cow some random woman you saw was, you're a dick. You're not a dick for having preferences, you're a dick for acting like people who don't fit that preference are somehow lesser humans.

Also, if you're a guy who has fucked around but you talk shit about women who have done so AND expect a chaste woman, because you think you deserve that, you're just a hypocrite.

Flashy-Country-800 · 2023-03-16T20:03:55+00:00

There’s nothing “wrong,” just consequences. If a man wants to marry a virgin but can’t attract any, he can adjust expectations or be alone.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-03-16T08:21:14+00:00

Before this sub I wouldn’t have had a problem with it, I value sex myself and don’t want to be just another notch on somebody’s bedpost and I can respect a man that feels the same. However, After this sub, I would be doing a hell of a lot more questions about this, is it that he also values sex in which case I expect his body count to be low or is it because he doesn’t value women? Am I just a fuckable object he wants to know how many dicks have been in before?

I suspect with most men it’s the latter nowadays which is also why I believe there’s a rise in the loneliness of young men.

FYI, men are still more likely to cheat in a relationship, so filtering out those slutty woman when you yourself enjoy casual sex is a double standard

dishonouronmycow · 2023-03-16T10:17:24+00:00

Everyone is allowed preferences, using language to shame promiscuous people is absolutely a turn off though and would make me uncomfortable

literaryhogwartian · 2023-03-16T11:31:43+00:00

Nothing wrong with it as long you are holding yourself to the same standard

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-03-16T11:37:58+00:00

Only about 10% of women are promiscous and if they aren't your type (understandably) there are plenty of other women to choose from. Its not misogynistic, plenty of women also see promiscuity as a red flag. This is because future behavior is far more predictable from past behavior than someone's claims to want to change.

MoreSanitizerPls · 2023-03-16T13:08:36+00:00

This standard is fine because I’m the same. As a woman who is a virgin. I don’t want a man who engages in or wishes to engage in casual sex. I’ve observed that these men tend to be more unfaithful.

Willow-girl · 2023-03-16T13:30:18+00:00

No. People are free to use any criteria they want. You like what you like!

rodeopete3281 · 2023-03-16T14:06:55+00:00

Why would it be wrong? You don't like promiscuous women. Nothing wrong with that.

I don't like overweight, ugly, or dumb women. Nothing wrong with that either.

deste_eloise · 2023-03-16T14:23:17+00:00

I think they should do whatever they want. I just don’t want them to try and date me, because of my low N-count.

Ok-Flatworm5954 · 2023-03-16T14:24:41+00:00

I don’t think it’s a bad practice to eliminate promiscuous women from being selected as suitable life mates. I’ve dated women that I only wanted to have sex with. Once I had sex with them, I was no longer interested any anything else she had to offer. But I think that’s more just looking for a deeper connection. (And there are a lot of shallow people men & women)

Embarrassed-Tune9038 · 2023-03-16T14:44:10+00:00

If you are a chaste dude. Date like a chaste woman. Be picky AF, vet to the extreme.

yayayubsea · 2023-03-16T14:53:12+00:00

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-03-16T15:18:42+00:00

In my experience the most common reason guys do this is because they believe promiscuous women tend to be less loyal and less satisfied in monogamous relationships. Sociological research overwhelmingly supports this conclusion.

My question about this is why these guys have this "preference" yet still expect women to overlook the sociological research that finds men are more likely to cheat?

Zombombaby · 2023-03-16T15:52:39+00:00

No, I won't date a promiscuous man either. Individuals are allowed to set their own standards.

eleventwenty2 · 2023-03-16T16:42:37+00:00

Not at all in fact I think it's an excellent thing to do

Embarrassed-Tune9038 · 2023-03-16T21:32:53+00:00

Virgin for a lot of guys is simply shorthand for the sort of woman that is marriageable. She isn't jumping from guy to guy. She ain't the sort of woman that can be picked up at a bar with game and a few drinks. She doesn't have kids with another man. She didn't Fuck her BFFs BF to get back at her for some slight.

This woman may have a N-Count, but she ain't stacking bodies like the goddamn Marines.

ohdiddly · 2023-03-16T08:47:07+00:00

Not if they uphold those values themselves. But I hate hypocrites, so if you’re a promiscuous man who expects a woman to be sexually conservative then I will laugh at you.

ashpr0ulx · 2023-03-16T08:54:28+00:00

do what ya want, who gives a fuck

nemma88 · 2023-03-16T10:22:17+00:00

No.

I have a problem when people use it as a stick to beat others with, name calling, shaming etc. Having preferences is fine- keep it in context of yourself rather than others.

Guy's default insult towards women tend to be based on discussing their lack of attraction towards that particular woman.

Birb-brained · 2023-03-16T09:21:54+00:00

No. Do what you want. Your preferences are a personal choice. But the point is they are personal to you, the public at large doesn’t need to know your opinions on other peoples sexuality. That’s when it becomes misogynistic, when you decide to use your personal preferences as a way to denigrate random women just living their life.

Justipvoteandshutup · 2023-03-16T08:26:26+00:00

Good luck. Not like you'll ever actually know her true body count.

vivvienne · 2023-03-16T10:00:25+00:00

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. I've been seeing women talk about being anti sexual liberation as if they had no agency and walked into it with their eyes closed.

The entire point was to allow women agency. Agency comes with responsibility and responsibility means accepting the possible negative consequences. Nobody was holding a gun to their head. Their actions are entirely their own. Hook up if you want, but have some self respect. Not every guy is going to accept a woman with many partners, and if you have no interest in these dudes, that's perfectly fine, but don't complain after the fact you lowered your dating pool permanently of your own free will.

Women like to tell themselves men only want one thing and then are shocked when they find their preconceived notions were not always true.

Are the studies true? Absofuckinglutely. Crazy to think women who don't acknowledge accountability can be flippant with loyalty.

FightMeCthullu · 2023-03-16T13:56:53+00:00

Me personally, as a woman? I don’t really mind that much. I have a varied sexual past and that’s not everyone’s favourite thing - that’s fine!

However I have two caveats:

1: Prefer what you like, that’s your business! I don’t gamble because of the high likelihood I’d lose money, if you choose to not take a relationship gamble due to someone’s history, that’s your perogative.

But don’t go around shaming people for it. If someone told me “hey I think we’re incompatible because we have different views on sex” that’s one thing. If someone says “you’re a worthless whore who’d probably cheat on me/you’re disgusting/you’ll never find love” like….that’s asshole behaviour.

So while you can prefer what you like, you should not go out of your way to make someone feel bad because they are incompatible with you. A persons sexual history wont hurt you (STD’s notwithstanding) and had nothing to do with you so why try and hurt them over it? Not only does it make you seem butthurt and petty (which is super unattractive) but it’s just so unnecessary to be needlessly cruel. Treat others how you’d like to be treated.

2: If you want a low n-count partner but have a high n-count yourself, I find that hypocritical. If you’re gonna be hypocritical at least own up to it. I personally dislike hypocrites but I can’t stop you from being one.

So for me, provided a man is not an asshole and (secondary but still important) holds himself to the same or similar standards as he would a partner, I don’t mind what they do.

I personally have never had an issue with dating or sleeping with low n-count men because hey, everyone starts somewhere, but I understand that other people might feel differently and also wouldn’t pursue me as a result. And that’s fine! Just don’t be an asshole and I could care less.

That being said - the amount of vitriol I see directed towards women over their n-count…..I see a lot of assholes. Both online and in real life. At that point we have a problem.

ETA: my fiancée couldn’t give a shit about my history at this point, and I’ve been honest about my number. I don’t tell him all the stories because that’s insensitive to me, but he knows and he’s chill. To him, the fact that I experienced the variety and still picked him? That’s how he sees it. Others would disagree. That’s ok. But anyone starts trying to shame me for it…..

Like, shaming me isn’t gonna unfuck the people I slept with. The number remains the same. It’s just someone trying to make me feel bad for no reason. Im already incompatible so why bother being an ass about it?

gofigure62 · 2023-03-16T14:40:29+00:00

No. I think people can do whatever they want and have whatever parameter's, restrictions, and standards they want for romantic and sexual partners.

Dating and fucking isn't an equal opportunity handout. If a man doesn't want to be with a promiscuous woman, then he doesn't need to be.

I think most of the time the reasoning is misogynistic, especially if the man is promiscuous himself. Studies show that men who are promiscuous are more likely to cheat, so if a man was genuinely invested in making decisions that would ensure the best outcome for a long-term relationship, he would practice sexual restraint himself. Which men like this rarely do. The reality is that these men usually want a meek and weak-willed woman that will let him cheat in peace or at least would be less inclined to leave because she invested in him sexually and has hang-ups about being with other men.

I don't think it's misogynistic at all if a man is a virgin or has a low N-count and wants the same in a woman. That's simply a matter of compatibility.

But whether a man is being misogynistic or not, he's still allowed to date and fuck whoever he wants consensually for whatever reason he wants.

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-03-16T15:57:26+00:00

I think it's more of an internet thing than reality.

Additionally, the men who seem to care the most are the ones who are the most insecure.

It's definitely misogynistic.

HighestTierMaslow · 2023-03-16T16:08:00+00:00

No they can have whatever standard they want. However, men that do this who are promiscuous themselves are selfish, insecure and entitled. I wont change my mind of that.

Its very normal to want to date someone with your own sexual values despite what people on here say. Ive rejected men who expect me to have sex with them quickly and also men who wanted to wait until marriage. Im in the middle and wanted a man in the middle.

-Shes-A-Carnival · 2023-03-16T13:08:23+00:00

there is nothing wrong with filtering people out of your dating pool for any reason any human can think of at all, nor does it have to be "justified" to any human who ever lived.

that being said, if you are going to go on a DEBATE subreddit and make all manner of factual statements and offer all kinds of "Reasoning" as to WHY you have that preference people are going it ARGUE with those statements if they think they are untrue.

this is not arguing against or judging the preference, it is arguing with the facts and reasoning you foolishly put forth for discussion

the correct way to state ones reasoning for not wanting to date promiscuous women if you dont want to be argued with and debated in a way that makes you feel judged is "dunno why, dont like it, not going to do it" and thats FINE

no one gives a shit about your neurotic reading of statistics

LotBuilder · 2023-03-16T17:30:06+00:00

No, pair bonding is real.

Sophiatab · 2023-03-16T16:14:53+00:00

Depends on situation. If a man has been promiscuous, it is wrong for him to reject a woman for doing the same things he has done. If a man has wanted to be promiscuous, but could never get many women to be promiscuous with him, it is wrong for him to reject a woman for doing what he wanted to do, but wasn't successful at achieving. If on the other hand the man has strong religious or ethical beliefs against sexuality promiscuity and does not engage in such behavior, he is perfectly justified in only wanting a woman with the same beliefs.

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KamuiObito · 2023-03-16T17:03:02+00:00

My ex was hella disloyal i bought into the mfs can change and realize they can buy it’s usually when THEY feel like it..so it’s still basically a gamble they can also justify their decision I’m some…it’s never worth it especially as man.

Endangeredsmol · 2023-06-10T14:53:48+00:00

Nothing wrong with preferences, only low quality, nasty, hoey, low value or disgusting promiscuous women would have a problem with this. There all over the comments.

Title	Do you think there's anything wrong with men to filtering out promiscuous women for serious relationships? If so, why?
Author	katyushas_boyfriend
Upvotes	22
Comments	403
Date	March 16, 2023 4:28 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/11sk33u/do_you_think_theres_anything_wrong_with_men_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-think-theres-anything-wrong-with-men-to.1180680 https://theredarchive.com/post/1180680

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